Thursday was Henry's favorite day of the week. Every Thursday was Magic Day at the Isaac Heller Children's Hospital. Shortly after lunch, all kids would be visited by a funny looking magician who would show them and, most importantly, teach them their own little magic tricks. For one afternoon they could forget about pain, pills, therapy and doctor's visits.

The man with the long beard and the big blue hat on his head called himself The Sorcerer's Apprentice and he was really good with Henry. Every week he stood next to the boy's bed and showed him how to make his own magician equipment, how to handle his illusions to get great reactions and, most importantly, how to present his magic like a real magician. Today he had brought the boy a little blue matchbox with a false bottom and taught him how to let small objects disappear – and reappear – inside it. Henry was thrilled.

"Mom, can I get a coin?", he asked her, his voice full of excitement.

"Of course, dear", Regina replied, searching her pockets for a dime. The boy hastily took it, eager to see if the trick really worked. Regina had to smile.

The centre of pediatric oncology wasn't exactly a sad place. The walls were yellow, there were various colourful window pictures on the glass doors and the hallways were decorated with multiple paintings and drawings of all kinds of animals and flowers. Everyone was doing their best to make the patients and their families feel at home… especially considering that many of them spent months or even years of their young lives within these walls, still hoping for full recovery.

It wasn't Henry's first stay at the clinic. A year had passed since his first chemo and the doctors had been positive that the boy was going to be okay. A few months later, however, the cancer had returned.

Since then, Regina had spent as much time as possible with her son and had resigned from her position as the mayor of her hometown. It hadn't been a hard decision, there had been no other option for her anyway. She missed working, sure, but most of all she missed her life as it could or should have been. A happy life with her family, with a good job and without that big hole in her heart.

A knock at the door interrupted Regina's thoughts as well as Henry's little magic session and a man in a white coat entered the room, smiling brightly.

"Hello there, Henry, how are you feeling today?", he asked the little boy, obviously pleased to see the huge grin on his face.

"Doctor Whale, look!", Henry stuttered excitedly as he showed the man his little magic matchbox. "You see? I put the coin inside and then…" He closed the box and did some adorable wave with his hand before opening it again. "It's gone! Doctor Whale, look! The coin is gone!"

Regina was trying to hide an amused chuckle, proudly stroking her son's leg.

"Wow, Henry, that's amazing! Who would have thought you were a wizard?" The man playfully punched him on the arm. "Though I hope you won't make all of your mom's money disappear", he added with a wink.

Henry looked at him as if he were crazy, quickly shaking his head. "Nooo, doctor Whale, that'd be stupid. But I wanna learn more about magic! Maybe I can make my illness disappear! Then I could go home again!"

The three adults in the room tried to keep smiling, yet the happiness immediately left their eyes.

"Yeah", Doctor Whale replied, trying not to let the young boy see the switch in his mood. "That'd be great, Henry. But until then, I will do my best to make you healthy again, you know that, right?"

Henry nodded.

"I know. But you're not a wizard."

The man sighed. "No. I guess I'm not."

He looked at Regina who was staring out of the window now, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

„Miss Mills, would you mind coming outside with me for a minute?"

Doctor Whale gave the woman a friendly smile and Regina turned her head to look at him, quickly nodding.

"I'll be right back, sweetie."

She kissed Henry's forehead before following the doctor out of the room, knowing all too well what was about to come. Bad news. She was used to it by now.

Regina followed the man into his office, a place she had grown to hate. Everything in the room felt completely suffocating, most likely because it was full of bad memories. The day the doctor had told her about Henry's leukemia had been the worst of her life. Or maybe not. The day she'd found out about his relapse had been even worse. It was a nightmare she didn't seem to wake up from.

She sat down across from him, grinding her teeth and repeatedly ripping at the skin of her right thumb. It had become a bad and rather painful habit, but it kept her distracted.

"Miss Mills… I wish I had better news but, - "

Regina shut the man up with a wave of her hand, shaking her head.

"Why isn't it working, Doctor Whale? You… You said yourself that the chances of achieving a long-lasting remission were quite high. The second chemo was even more aggressive than the first one, why isn't he healing? I don't know what to do anymore, I mean, have you looked at him? He's so fragile, how long is his tiny body going to fight it? He's getting thinner, Doctor. He's hungry but then again he constantly throws up. He has bad mood swings. He's crying every single night. How much is a five year old boy supposed to handle?"

Her eyes were teary but Regina had cried enough in those past weeks, she was going to swallow this lump in her throat and suck it up, as always.

"I am really sorry…", the man replied slowly, the frown on his forehead growing deeper. "Miss Mills, I'm going to be very honest with you now. As you are aware, we are all hoping and praying to find a matching stem cell donor for Henry, but it is only possible in an average of 60 percent of the cases. If the patient has a rare HLA type, like Henry, the chances are much lower."

Regina shook her head even harder, not wanting to hear what the doctor had to say. It physically pained her.

"What are you trying to tell me? That I shouldn't get my hopes up? That you're going to stop treating him soon and that I can sit here and hope for a miracle?"

The doctor reached out his hand over the table to cup Regina's, squeezing it gently. Regina wanted to pull her hand away but, as weird as it was, she needed the touch. Needed to cling to the thought that anyone was in this with her. That anyone else understood what she was going through. Life had gotten extremely lonely for her in the past year. It had all revolved around Henry, there had been no time for any other social activities.

"That's not at all what I'm trying to say…", the doctor replied calmly. "I'm saying that, usually, we'd try to find a donor that is matching the patient's tissue factors. The best chance is, of course, an identical sibling or, if there aren't any siblings, an unrelated HLA-match. There is, however, the possibility of trying a haploidentical transplantation when no conventional donor can be found. It is a risky procedure, but if you remove all of the donor's disturbing bone marrow cells with antibodies and tiny magnetic particles, only the major stem cells are left and a transplantation can, in fact, be a success. We're only doing this when a transplant is absolutely essential for the treatment of the disease." He swallowed. "In other words, with this form of transplant, patients can be treated who would otherwise have no chance of a cure in the absence of a matching donor."

Regina was massaging her temples now, trying to follow the doctor's train of thought.

"Okay, so, what are we waiting for? Do it. Do what's necessary to help my son!"

The doctor took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Miss Mills, I'm not sure you understood me correctly but…" He cleared his throat.

"I know this must be hard to hear, but what Henry needs is his biological mother."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey… it's me again.

The day has been… rough. We've been at the clinic for 34 days now. All I can say is that the side effects of his treatment have become unbearable to witness. Thank god it was Magic Day today. At least I saw him smile again.

He's been so down these past days. He's always hungry, but then his belly hurts and he throws up. I try to help him as much as I can, I really want to, but nothing seems to be enough. I'm fucking helpless. I'm his mother… I'm supposed to save him from all the bad things in this world… but there's literally nothing I can do except for stroking his back and telling him it's going to be all right…

But how? How is it going to be all right?

Sometimes he simply ignores me. He looks at me without looking at me. His eyes are tired and empty. He doesn't want to watch TV, he doesn't want me to read to him. He's obsessed with the thought of becoming a magician and healing himself and all the other children at the hospital. I suppose it's good for him to have this kind of hope, but there are so many throwbacks. How many of them can a five year old boy take before it gets too much?

One of his best friends passed away last week. Tony. I think I mentioned him before. He was only seven.

Henry used to be such a little energy bundle. I remember his fourth birthday, when we went to that indoor playground. He wouldn't give me a break.

I want that back.

I need it back.

It breaks my heart to see him suffer so much. It really breaks my fucking heart.

Doctor Whale told me there was one last kind of treatment we could try.

He told me, again, that the chances of finding a matching stem cell donor were very little but… but that there was the possibility of one of the parents donating for their child.

One of the parents. Right.

I can't even do that.

I am that useless.

Maybe we never should have gone for that closed adoption. But we couldn't have known, could we?

Not in a million years I would have pictured my life like this. Widow at age 35. A single mother with her adopted child, praying to find her son's biological parents in order to save his life.

I'm going to lose him too, aren't I? What did I do wrong in my past life? Maybe I was some sort of serial killer, maybe I tortured people. Maybe I deserve it. There's no other explanation.

But he doesn't deserve it. He's innocent.

I didn't know who to ask for help. I told Whale that I had no idea who Henry's parents were, that I didn't even know if they were still alive. Obviously I asked the agency, but the woman was a total bitch. I told her about my situation but she kept insisting that the record of the biological parents is kept sealed. That I signed a contract. That there's nothing she can do.

All she has to do is open the fucking file!

I have no energy for this. Not right now.

I know you're going to get pissed, but I called Sidney right away. You know I don't agree with his… methods… but I have no other choice. I need to know how to find the woman who gave birth to Henry. I need to know if I can allow myself this tiny bit of hope again. Hope that the treatment might actually work. Until then, I can't let my mind go there. It's going to make it even harder if we fail.

So… wish us luck. I guess.

Regina

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Update - Sidney just called.

He… found her.

She's alive.

Her name is Emma Swan and… she's in prison.

My son's mother is a convict. This is just perfect.

I… I have to go see her. Right?

Oh god, why do I have to do this alone?

I'll… I'll talk to her. Whale said Henry needs to get better before we can start any other treatment, but I have to make sure that it's at least a realistic option. I have to make sure she's willing to help.

Fuck.

I don't even know what I'm feeling.

I'll go to bed now, the meds are kicking in.

And tomorrow I'll deal with this Emma Swan.

R.

A/N: This has been spooking around in my head for a really long time now and I feel like I have to write this story down. I'm not abandoning my other WIP, I just need something entirely different for when I'm in *that* mood. This is supposed to be a short introduction, the next chapters will probably be much longer. Let me know if you'd like me to continue!