It was the day before christmas, laughter in the air, filled by Sam's constant nagging about how they didn't set up the tree right. Crowley crouching by the fire place, laughing at Cas who was pestering him to be careful and of course, having to remind him that he was the king of hell.
Dean cast a glance towards Cas, chuckiling as the angels brow furrowed in frustration as Crowley teased him. For once, Christmas didn't have to have a terrible ending, a Christmas without blood and guts and crawling for his brother. Sam walked up beside Dean, enjoying the peace they had together here as well. No mark, no Cain, no God. Sam elbowed his brother, "A christmas like we've been wanting, huh?" He said, smiling bigger than he had since Jess died, Dean replied "Maybe not as exactly like we wanted, but I think I like this better."
Sam laughed, "Me too, I think I'm gonna go help Crowley with the fire place. Cas just keeps nagging." Dean shrugged, smiling, "Yeah, just send Cas over here."
Sam, walking away, steadily replied "Yeah, yeah alright." Sam strolled over to Crowley and Cas, tapping Cas on the shoulder, and pointing him in the direction of Dean. Cas sighed, swinging his arms from his side as he walked up to Dean.
"Yes Dean?" Cas asked, grumpy. Dean took his angels head between his palms, "Why are you so grumpy?" Dean asked, brushing his thumb under the angels brow bone. Cas huffed, leaning his head into Deans touch "Just upset." Dean pouted, kissing his love on the forehead, "About what? It's christmas eve." Cas looked up into his hazel eyes, again, his brow furrowing, "I don't want you to wake up." Dean looked at Cas, puzzled, "What do you mean wake up?" He asked, as the room began to grow into a white light.
Cas let go of Dean, mumbling "I'm so sorry." Dean grasped for Cas, but he was to far out of his reach, "Cas, wait no." he cried out, broken, and the white engulfed him.
Dean woke up in the bed he laid in, the dirty motel, sweating. He glanced over to where Sam slept, peacefully. He got up, the bed groaning under his weight, stretching, he walked over to the window and looked out. The snow was falling, bright, soft, untouched. He walked back to the bathroom, turning on the water and slipping under the hot steam of the shower. His chest ached, it had been 4 months since he last saw Cas, since he heard from him. He missed him uncontrollably, days moved past so much slower without him. He stopped answering his prayers, pretty much went off the map. Dean brushed his hands through his hair, scrubbing the dirt off his body. He turned off the shower, letting the steam clear his head of the memories of his angel. He stepped out, wrapping the towel around his mid-half section, he opened the bathroom door, looking at Sammy as he slept. He dryed himself off, pulling his clothes over his body. He decided to go and get coffee, hoping that would clear his head more. He thought about his dream, how Cas said he was sorry, how he didn't want him to wake up. "It was just a dream right?" Dean thought to himself, although knowing that hadn't been the first time Cas had reached out to him through his dreams. He shook the thought off, Cas had abandoned them, abandoned him. He got in his car, it had lacked it's importance since Cas left, so there were empty bottles and cans littered at the floor. He sighed, his chest heaving, he started the car and drove off, not even bothering to play his favorite rock song. His mind wandered to Cas as he drove, wondering where he was, how he was, maybe if he had met someone else, but Cas didn't know any of this was hurting him. He kept it hidden, the glances were fast, he forced the itch to grab cas down. Cas didn't know Dean loved him, Dean swore it to himself that he would never tell him. He pulled up to the small gas station, putting his once prized possession into park. He stepped out, walking felt like lead was being built into his feet. He opened the doors, even though he forgot what kind of coffee sammy liked, he walked over and began to pour two cups. He decided on getting sugar and creme for sam to add himself, walking up to the cash register, a small shine caught his eye. He turned around, instantly grabbing the jar of peanut butter, knowing that when Cas was human this was his favorite thing. He held it for a few minutes, turning it over in his hand, zoning out on what he was doing. The boy behind the counter grabbed his attention with "Hey man, you okay?" Dean glanced up, shaking his head and putting the jar down, replying "Yeah, yeah sorry.". He placed the coffee on the counter, pulling out a 10. The boy looked at him, carefully, ringing up his items, "Are you sure you're okay?" The boy asked, Dean glanced up into his eyes, the same blue that Cas had. Dean stuttered "Y-yeah, thank you." He grabbed the coffee and left, heading back to his impala and driving back to the motel.
He pulled up and parked, walking back to the door of his room, pulling out the key and twisting the lock. He pushed open the door, and set the coffee on the table, along with his wallet and phone "Sammy get up. I got us coffee." he chuckeld, looking up.
He froze, speechless, he cocked his head, staring at the man infront of him.
"Cas.."
[ This is my first story! Sorry I left you at a cliff hanger! but please give me advice and pointers. I will be updating this piece, hopefully you enjoy!]