The Lead Up To The End
A/N: Not really a reaction-fic type of person. So, I thought I'd do my own AU version of events instead. The drabbles in this are sort of accidental and were not written in the order by which they appear. I was tinkering with several and realized at one point that they form a somewhat cohesive story once arranged in a certain manner. Here's what it came to be. I hope you enjoy.
DISCLAIMER: Glee is not mine. Although if next season, they start showing more Klaine Fluff, I might have had something to do with that. Kidding.
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PART ONE: Hook-Up (4X14) (Prompts: Hook-up, Cake Box, Hitched, Tulips, Anniversary)
"It was just a hook-up," Kurt told him quietly but firmly, the countertenor's blue-green eyes meeting hazels. "Everybody hooks up at weddings, Blaine."
Blaine did not know how to react to that, truth be told. Almost a month after he had felt that spark of hope blossom in his chest after being with Kurt again that night of Mr. Schue's not-wedding disaster, he just couldn't think otherwise.
"Are you trying to tell me that it didn't mean anything to you, Kurt?" He knew his voice was cracking. New York was cold at any time of the year, and standing by the door to Kurt's apartment, holding a bunch of red roses and yellow tulips in one hand and a square cake box in another certainly did not improve matters.
Kurt eyed the things in his ex-boyfriend's hands warily. "It –it was never meant to –"
"Don't –fucking lie to me! Don't you try to fucking minimize this, Kurt!" The cake box landed on the cold pavement with a soft thud. The bouquet followed right after. ''It meant the world to me1 I thought –I thought there was a chance. I thought you'd already began to trust me again –was I wrong?"
Kurt sighed heavily, still stubbornly not allowing the curly-haired high school senior entrance to his apartment. 'Blaine –"
"This is not you, Kurt. You're –you're better than –you're not some guy who sleeps around breaking hearts–"
"I don't –"
"Because that's what this is!' Blaine yelled, his eyes all of a sudden becoming impossibly bright with unshed tears. "You're breaking my heart, Kurt! You're hurting me –us!" He shook his head in disbelief. "I'm trying to give you time –and space. I know I'm the one in the wrong, but –'' Blaine ran his fingers through his tousled locks. "This –this is –what happened to us? What changed, Kurt?"
"You cheated on me, Blaine1" Kurt countered back in annoyance. "Are you really asking me this right now? I can't trust you –not after what you did. You cheated on me –that's what changed! You ruined us and what we had!"
For a while, only hitched breathing could be heard in that little corner of New York. Blaine combed his hair once more with trembling fingers. Kurt feigned interest at his boots, surreptitiously casting glances elsewhere but Blaine's direction. The younger man noticed this with a huff.
"You said –" Blaine paused, a bitter smile emerging from his chapped lips. "You lied to me.'
"I beg your pardon?" Kurt's eyes narrowed.
"You never forgave me.'' Blaine's tone was more of a declaration than a question. "When you said…" He shook his head again. "We aren't really friends again, are we? You were planning this all along."
"What?" Kurt met his ex-boyfriend's eye this time, surprise very evident in his delicate features. "Say that again?" A dark chuckle ushered in Blaine's reply.
"Love 'em and leave 'em, Kurt?" Blaine mocked him. "Have me eating off the palm of your hand then dump me? Give me false hopes?"
"WHAT?" Kurt looked utterly shocked. "You think –"
"I deserve it." Blaine cut his retort with a frigid tone. He then bent down to retrieve the fallen flowers and cake box. "I would've expected –I should've expected –" He straightened himself until his gaze met Kurt's again. "There is no more need for this."
"You –you think that this is some sort of revenge?" Kurt asked incredulously. "You think I would –"
"Honestly? I don't know." Blaine's rehearsed smile was back on. "All I know is that I have no right to complain. I'll take whatever crumb you throw at me, Kurt, because I deserve it. I cheated on you and it was the single, biggest mistake of my life."
"You -have –no –idea what you're talking about," Kurt said in a clipped tone, his face losing all its color. Blaine's smile never faltered, however.
"You don't need to do this, Kurt. I am the bad guy here, the villain, not you. I will never ask for anything from you ever again, just –" He thrust the bouquet and cake box towards a frozen Kurt Hummel. "Just please don't disregard whatever happened between us. It wasn't just a hook-up. And we aren't just friends –at least not yet again."
"Blaine –"
"I made a mistake, Kurt, but never did I ever make you feel –inconsequential. Please don't do it to me." Blaine stepped away from the warm threshold and into the cold. He gestured at the items now in Kurt's grasp. "It would have been our second anniversary, if you could still call it that –but I guess not."
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PART TWO: Audition (4X20?)(Prompts: Audition, Reflection, Caustic, Eternity, California)
"I'll never say goodbye to you," Kurt said, his eyes looking anywhere but Blaine's. Kurt had come home to be a good friend and support Blaine's NYADA audition against his common sense. Frankly, whenever it came to his ex-boyfriend, everything that made sense to him now was thrown out of the window. Anyhow, here he was, deep into a conversation he knew would happen since he let it slip on one of their occasional Skype sessions that he was indeed seeing someone else in New York.
Blaine's audition went well, and Carmen Thibbadeux had but confirmed his admission to her prestigious school on the spot. The curly-haired senior had gone beyond his repertoire of Disney themes and Top 40 Hits and sang a beautiful, heartfelt rendition of Phil Collin's Against All Odds. Kurt had an inkling that Blaine mostly sang for him instead of for Carmen. He definitely had it on good authority that Blaine's audition piece was originally to be 'Reflection" from Mulan. He was almost certain that the song selection had been updated when he had told the younger boy that he was coming over to Lima in show of support. Truth be told, Kurt was both touched and terrified at the gesture.
They were now alone inside the McKinley High Auditorium. Blaine was looking directly at Kurt and Kurt alone.
"Except –you are saying goodbye." Hazel eyes shone with trepidation. "Are you really here to see me sing, Kurt? What did your new boyfriend say when you told him that?" A small smile broke the tight line that was Blaine's lips. "You may not be literally using the word, but I know a farewell when I hear it. What is really your purpose? To get rid of baggage? For closure? To gloat?"
Silence permeated the vast space once more. Both of them had so many good memories up on that stage.
"I – you were good, really good," Kurt said, trying to ease the tension. "Carmen was all but singing your praises. I would most definitely see you in NYADA next year."
"Will you be okay with that?" Blaine asked, cocking an eyebrow. "I'll be less than a mile away from you, Kurt. Will you be okay with me invading your space? Will –Adam be okay with that?"
Kurt remained still for longer than a moment, holding his own breath. Eventually, he released it.
"You should not let what happened between us interfere with your dreams, Blaine."
A hollow laugh escaped the younger boy's lips.
"Except that you were part of that dream, Kurt." Blaine finally looked away and settled his gaze at the empty orchestra pit. "You still are that dream." For the nth time that day, he ran his fingers through his already messed up hair, gel noticeably absent from it. "Will you do me a favor?"
Kurt followed his line of sight and sighed. "What is it?" Blaine met his eyes once more and Kurt was again lost in those golden hazel orbs.
"Tell me I mean nothing to you."
Kurt froze at the caustic tone, but answered nonetheless.
"I'd be lying if I said that."
A detached chuckle passed Blaine's throat. "What am I to you then? You obviously already found a replacement for me in that –Adam. And don't tell me that I'm your best friend either, because there is no way I am buying that."
"But you are –"
"No!" Blaine made a show of covering his ears with his hands. "I never just was! I don't want to hear it, Kurt. Best friends don't fuck their best friends and pretend that it never meant anything! I am NOT your best friend Kurt! We were never just friends and never will be. You have Rachel, Mercedes –I know I don't have the right to demand, but please, stop trying to force me into a damned pity role just to keep me in your life!" Blaine was panting by the time he was done. Kurt's eyes shone suspiciously with what looked like tears, but he had managed to keep his normally expressive and transparent voice somewhat distant and steady.
"What do you want me to do, Blaine? What do you want me to say? I'm trying my best here to be a mature adult. Tell me what I should do! Tell me, how do I deal with losing the trust I had for you?"
For what seemed like eternity, only their steady heartbeats could be heard.
"Do –do you love him?" Blaine broke the silence.
"Yes." Kurt answered truthfully, not missing a beat, which surprised him. Did he really just admit that out loud? Was that really what he should have said in that moment? Surely Adam was a great guy, and yes, to an extent, he had grown to love him, but it was more of like his love for Rachel, or even Finn. Would Blaine even get the context that his pronouncement was meant to be made in? Kurt loved Adam, but he wasn't in love with him. Those were two distinctly different things. He wanted to tell Blaine that, but could he? Dare he?
Blaine was staring at Kurt, seemingly surprised as well.
"I won't be coming to New York." The younger boy finally declared. "My advanced admissions letter from UCLA arrived last week. I'm moving to California and studying law."
"What?" Kurt was unable to contain his astonishment. "But –Blaine –"
"I only went thru with the audition because I wanted to see –" Blaine looked like he was thinking of how to voice out his real sentiments, but after a sigh, he seemed to have rethought his words. "I wanted to see you before I left for the West Coast." With an air of finality, he turned around and began walking towards the direction of the backstage exit.
"Blaine –WAIT!" Kurt started to jog after the younger boy's retreating back. "What about your dreams? What about performing –Broadway? What about –" What about us? Kurt had wanted to ask, but he knew that he no longer has the right to burden Blaine with that thought. The hazel-eyed senior had just told him his decision. He should be a good friend and support that right?
"Things have to change, Kurt." Blaine said, his back still against Kurt. "I cannot, for the life of me, be anywhere near you knowing that –" His voice trailed off as he resumed walking. Kurt was not yet done though.
"Blaine, I-"
"You know what?" Blaine suddenly spun around, his darkened irises onto Kurt once more. "You said you've forgiven me. But in reality, no matter what happens, no matter what I audition for, I would always be given the role of the jerk who cheated on you, the one who failed to keep you and earn back your trust. I will always love you, Kurt, but that failure –I don't want that to be the basis of my continued existence in your life."
"Blaine, please –"
"You already have everyone you need in your life, Kurt," Blaine's eyes were now blinking rapidly, as if wanting to will away the tears that he had been working hard on keeping away. "Every role's been cast. All I am right now is an understudy who has not guarantee of ever taking the spotlight again. I can't keep on dragging you back. I can't keep you tethered to your past. There's nothing left for me to do but to leave you be." A soft sob finally escaped Blaine's lips. "You deserve better Kurt, and I owe it to you."
Kurt's eyes began welling up again. What did he say to that? Kurt's loss for words was clearly evident on his face, and just as he did many times in the past, Blaine, the ever dashing and dapper gentleman, came to his rescue.
"I'm sorry for hurting you, Kurt, I truly am. No matter how many times I tell you, I know it will never be enough. But if it's any consolation, whatever pain I've caused you, I'm feeling it a hundred fold. Because when I broke your heart, the pieces of mine that I've given you shattered with it too. And you don't have to say anything to me. I'll do it for you. I'll love you, until the end of time. I love you, but -goodbye, Kurt." With one last look at his soul mate, Blaine ran off towards the exit, not once looking back. Had he chanced a glance for even just a second, he would've caught the first droplets of tears that breached Kurt's eyes, and onto the polished stage floor.
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PART THREE: Shooting Star (4X18)(Prompts: Shooting Star, Call, Relay, Lighthouse, Cracked)
(incoming call: Blaine Anderson)
Kurt's phone chirped a ballad version of Teenage Dream. Actually, it was a live recording of Blaine's performance at Callbacks before everything went south that fateful night. Not once had he thought of changing that tone or deleting it altogether.
He was in one of the many busy hallways of NYADA, making his way to a late class he had that day. His schedule was fucked up, but he really did not have much choice. Cassandra July's Dance 101 was more bearable in the late afternoons when she was hung-over from the previous night. To say that Kurt was surprised when the call came in was a gross understatement. He and Blaine certainly did not part on friendly, much less, conversational terms. Kurt nonetheless quickly ducked into one of the many empty classrooms and swiped at the LCD screen to answer the call.
"Blaine?" Kurt's voice was part gasping, part exhaling. "What –"
"Um, Kurt?" A deep voice that was not definitely his dapper ex-boyfriend came on. Kurt frowned, trying to place that timber. "Sam?"
"Um, yeah," the voice that was Sam sounded extremely uncomfortable.
"What are you doing with Blaine's phone? Why are you calling me? Where is he? Shouldn't you be in class still?" The endless barrage of questions came in a single breath.
"Um, dude, you see…" There was a clear hesitation in the blonde's voice that irked Kurt.
"Well? Speak up! I need to be at my Dance 101 class son and –"
"Kurt, it's about Blaine…" Kurt fought the urge to roll his eyes.
"I figured it was something like that. Well? What about him?" The other line went quiet for a while –as if Sam covered the mouthpiece on his end. Kurt huffed.
"SAMUEL LLOYD EVANS! DON'T YOU DARE WASTE MY TIME! I DEMAND YOU TELL ME WHAT THE HECK YOU CALLED ME FOR!"
There was a sound of someone clearing their throat and taking a deep breath that came on… Hold on, was that a sob? "There –there was a shooting, Kurt." Sam's voice cracked. It wasn't the connection's fault. Kurt heard him crystal clear.
"Huh- WHAT?"
"A shooting." Sam said slowly. Kurt could imagine his lips mouthing every single syllable as if he was talking to an invalid. "At –school –just –a –couple –of –hours- ago –"
"WH-WHAT?" Kurt frowned. The rational part of him tried to make sense of the words he was hearing. But deep within him, his heart was already pounding like war drums. "You –you're not making any sense, Sam –"
The other line went crickets for the second time. Kurt saw red.
"SAM? SAM! For fuck's sake! Talk to me! What exactly had happened? A shooting, you say? Is everyone okay? Is Blaine? –"
"Blaine –he –he made me –" Sam's agitated voice came back on. "He made me promise to –to tell you –"
"Tell me –WHAT –Evans?" Kurt forced out all the venom that he had in his voice. This wasn't making sense. It just can't. "Cut it with the shit! Where's Blaine? LET ME TALK TO HIM!"
"I –I'm so –sorry, K-Kurt." If Sam's voice shook before, it was madly trembling now. "He –he s-saved –protected –Glee –he –s-so many of us –we owe him. It –it all happened t-too fast…" An unmistakable sob drowned the rest of Sam's words. It was very faint, but it was enough to halt the revolution of Kurt's world.
"N-No…"
"Kurt –"
"NO! NO! NO!"
"Kurt, I –he- "
"SHUT UP! You –you're lying!" Kurt gripped his phone angrily, his vision rapidly clouding with saline. "You're lying Evans! Quit it! It's not funny! Who put you up to this? Tina? You have no –"
"Kurt, please. I'm sorry," Sam pleaded, another sob escaping his lips. "Blaine –he –he was a h-hero –"
Kurt felt his knees buckle on the weight of that pronouncement. He sunk into the grimy parquet floor of that empty classroom looking utterly defeated. His eyes were tightly closed, as if willing himself to wake up from that horrible nightmare.
"N-no… Tell me –tell me it's not true. Tell me, please –Blaine! It's –it's not funny! Blaine –let me talk to that hobbit, Sam! He-he can't do this to me – Let me talk to him!"
From his end, Kurt heard Sam take a steadying breath.
"Kurt, I'm sorry. Blaine –he –he's gone."
NO! Kurt had wanted to cry out so badly, but he just could not find the strength to do so. Whatever made him take another breath after hearing those words was working double-time to keep him going.
"Kurt, Blaine –he wanted me t-to tell you –he made me p-promise…" Sam could've been shouting at him, but to Kurt, it was but a whisper. His heart was almost to a complete stop. Blaine wanted to tell him something. Kurt thought back to their last –not final, he still refused to believe it was never to be followed- encounter. Blaine bade him goodbye. "Wh-what did he say?"
I'll love you, until the end of time.
I love you, but -goodbye, Kurt.
Goodbye, Kurt.
"He said –that he loves you. The last words that left his lips were –that he loves you so much and he never stopped doing so… that he's happy to know –to know that you w-won't be a-alone when he's –g-gone." Sam almost inaudibly swallowed before continuing with the most difficult message relay of his entire life, from one soul mate to his tragically estranged other. "He said –he will be right beside you –n-never to leave you, come what may. He'll forever be your lighthouse, your shooting star, your –always. H-he said –he was sorry to have g-given up so easily –s-so soon. He said –n-not to cry for him –because it breaks his heart- every time –every time you cry for him –because of him…"
There could have been more words spoken after that, but Kurt had already dropped his phone, the cracked screen resulting from the impact, mocking the way he felt."
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A/N: There are two versions to the ending of this story. Either will be uploaded within the next 24 hours so I kind of wanted to know which you would prefer to read: angsty or fluffy? You can tell me in a review. I wouldn't bother anymore with a proper poll since I have no time to do that. Just tell me in a review. I'd upload the one most people would like to read. To give you a preview however, the FLUFFY VERSION has these prompts: BATHROOM, CITRUS, DREAM, SUNNY, UNDRESS. The ANGSTY VERSION on the other hand has these: PLASTER SNOW WHITE, SACCHARINE, MAGIC, SALINE. Take your pick and let me know. Ciao Bellas, until next time –C.
P.S. To my Snarry followers, I do have the next chapter of The Last Prince to be uploaded tomorrow as well, please do not kill me. I was held hostage by my tow other NOW FINISHED Snarry fics: Music of the Night, and the new and improved Ashes. But I promise to finish TLP before posting everything else. I am also at the drawing board for two other Klaine stories: Runaway Prince and Angel of Music. CrissColfer fans, I'm working on a multi-chaptered fic entitled One True Love –Take Two. I'm halfway done with it, but I may not be posting it until the start of Season 5 (if there is) since I have a lot of stuff in my plate right now.
P.P.S. I'm still available at Twitter heyitschesca and on Facebook as eastwoodgirl. See you there if you want to talk Glee, Harry Potter or just the general unfairness of life. I'm always mobile if you need someone to talk to or just cuss with. I'd love to have more friends who share my interests.
P.P.P.S. Oh yeah, I'm obliged to tell you that the prompts for this story came from my wonderful friend, the Peter Burke to my Neil Caffrey, the Mouse to my Carrie Bradshaw, the Kurt to my Blaine (without the sexual tension), that1BEAUTIFULBOY. You are lovely, Darwin. Oops. I used your real name. LOL.