A/N: We are back! We simply had way too many good ideas that did not get to go into our first list, so we return with a part two! Yaaaaay! Hahaha…anyway, we have expanded our list of contributors: as before, you have Rylan (Raye Lynne; aka ME), Cait (raikim4ever) and Michael (sgeulachd). Added to our team this time around are: Reese (Aleatoire), Justine (MyNameIsJustine), Carly, and Diana! Woot woot for everyone! We have no Dina notes this time, as our dear Dina is gone to Guelph for university. We miss you!!!!! We instead have Reese notes.
Props to anyone who understands the references from #12, #50 and #51.
Disclaimer: Alas, the Secret Roomians, friends, and associates do not own the original "101 Things Not to do Before You Die". As well, beware of randomness and do not read if you are easily offended.
101 DON'TS of Life: THE SEQUEL!
1. Don't apply theology to breakfast cereal.
2. Don't let the first thing you say to someone be a premeditated "nice boobs".
3. Don't dress up as a hooker for Halloween, especially when no one can tell the difference between your costume and your regular clothes.
4. Don't graduate without starting a fake rumour about a fake person to prove that gossipers have no lives outside gossiping.
5. Don't use cell phones in the rain, even if the concept of becoming human popcorn is amusing to you.
6. Don't die without singing the chestnut song.
7. Don't die without singing the schnitzel song, either. [Reese note: eff this]
8. Don't die without singing the jellyfish song, either.
9. Don't make Michael wear a dress. [Reese note: DAMN]
10. Don't assume that a girl who is smart sucks her teacher's dick to get good grades O~O
11. Don't get your nose caught in a door. (We actually know someone who has done this…)
12. Don't bathe in Windex.
13. Don't go through life without wearing technicolour, seizure-inducing clothes for at least one day that is not Halloween.
14. Don't share chapstick with someone who has a canker sore.
15. Don't jump out of a moving car. (Again, we know someone who has. It's not the same person who shut his schnoz in the door though.)
16. Don't try to win a fight with a head butt.
17. Don't let the Munchkin bring the wrong binder to class. Bad things happen.
18. Don't write in English unless you have to.
19. Don't eat anything with your retainer in. Not even bread. You will break it.
20. Don't assume that things you say will stay a secret, EVER. [Reese note: LOL so true.]
21. Don't bet on a shot contest that you are playing. You'll lose either way.
22. Don't run when it's dark, you're blindfolded, or you're wearing heels.
23. Don't die without picking random berries in the woods and eating them and pretending they are poisonous. [Reese note: OH SHUT IT I WASN'T PRETENDING]
23b. Don't actually pick a poisonous berry by mistake.
24. Don't assume when you see a guy and a girl together, that they are boyfriend and girlfriend. [Reese note: LMAO]
24b. Don't, when you see a guy and a girl together, scream out your car window, "Way to go, man!" [Reese note: ahahahaha]
25. Don't say "on" when you mean "and". [Reese note: HAHA]
26. Don't take word count restrictions without a fight! [Reese note: yes!!]
27. Don't forget about starclamation points [starclamation point]
28. Don't get giggleitis; it is deadly. [Reese note: SHUT UP]
29. Don't be jealous because the voices don't talk to you.
30. Don't be like most people: hate the Jonas Brothers! In fact, if you see their car, give into the craving of pushing down a hill or into a stream.
30b. Don't hesitate to throw Miley Cyrus down there, too.
31. Don't think that dragons don't exist.
32. Don't wrry about giving into temptation; it's always more fun. Fuck the Bible. [Reese note: mmm temptation]
33. Don't be fooled. Cry over spilled milk. Milk is yummy and it is sad when it spills.
34. Don't be afraid of the killer bunnies. They're our friends [starclamation point]
35. Don't be so freaking literal!
36. Don't die without learning how to play "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" on your cell phone keys.
37. Don't ever have a normal outgoing message for your voicemail.
38. Don't ever trust the sheeple (sheep people).
39. Don't call it the USA, call it "Yankee Doodle Land".
40. Don't brag that you fake-and-bake. [Reese note: ewwww]
41. Don't go on a rant if you don't have a clue what you're talking about.
42. Don't smoke catnip. [Reese note: wtf? my brother soo would]
43. Don't be a cookie-cutter clone.
44. Don't bother trying to resist the urge to say "I told you so".
45. Don't worry about pointing a firework at a Christmas tree and burning down the whole town – you will become the overlord of the gremlins.
46. Don't think that jumping on a bandwagon counts you as a true fan. *coughcoughINSANENUMBEROFCRACKHEADTWILIGHTFANGIRLS!coughcough*
47. Don't assume there will be a tomorrow.
48. Don't pass up a chance to be emo [starclamation point]
49. Don't feel obligated to give your respect to assholes like Mr. Spetch who don't deserve it.
50. Don't call it a bag okay? It's a purse; it's a fucking purse all right?! You're gay!
51. Don't show me the money. I don't give a shit.
52. Don't ally yourself with CORPORATEAMERICANS! Do the words "disaster capitalism" mean anything to you?!
53. Don't shotgun aspartame packets.
54. Don't confuse "narcolepsy" and "necrophilia"! [Reese note: oops…LOL]
55. Don't discount Pluto as a planet.
56. Don't leave your cell phone at a Wendy's. [Reese note: shuuut up!]
57. Don't live your life inside the pages of a tabloid magazine.
58. Don't try to find a sodapop better than Jones [starclamation point]
59. Don't compare manga and heroin.
60. Don't buy your cell phone at a place that says it is Telus but is really not Telus. They will try to charge you $600 for a freaking phone.
61. Don't try to go for a week without your sketchbook. You will go into drawing withdrawl.
62. Don't go down kicking and screaming. Go down punching, swearing, and BITING. [Reese note: yum =) ]
63. Don't die without eating real Japanese food. Not just sushi. They do eat other things (Yakitori [starclamation point]) [Reese note: LOOL yakitori=Michael spilling soy sauce]
64. Down die without seeing how fall is supposed to be with maple trees and rounew trees.
65. Don't let Michael talk like a gangsta yo. [Reese note: I agree!!!]
66. Don't take medication. All it does it pump you full of artificial chemicals that trick your brain into failing to register your symptoms. It also never completely leaves your system, so, while dulling your senses and damaging connective tissue, it gets you gradually addicted, so CORPORATEAMERICAN pharmaceutical companies can make a profit.
67. Don't let your brothers near your muscle anatomy project.
68. Don't use "textspeak" (jk, lol, etc.) in verbal conversation. You cannot know how fucking annoying that is. [Reese note: OOPS]
69. Don't say "holla". EVER.
70. Don't take diet pills. Just because you have a negative self-image, don't take it out on the food industry. Help the economy and go to a gym while continuing to eat normally. (This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the S.R.S.S. Don't say we didn't do our part.)
71. Don't go around thinking there are vultures on Granville Island. They are just REALLY big seagulls. (They're e-gulls! E-gulls. Eagles. Get it? Ha. Haha.)
72. Don't always try to find something dirty in everything! There are too many double entendres in English as it is.
73. Don't think that people don't have favourites.
74. Don't start out as an original then go mainstream. The world does not need another failure like Avril Lavigne.
75. Don't deny that some failures can be EPIC [starclamation point]
76. Don't listen to the subliminal messages! They are trying to control you! Hitler Harper wants you! Don't listen! Don't!
77. Don't be without a black emo pencil of epicNESS!
78. Don't bash old-school stuff.
79. Don't believe it has to be someone's fault. If it was no one's fault, then it was obviously the gremlins.
80. Don't feel bad about being pissed when time is not on your side.
81. Don't let sad things get you down – after every sorrow comes greater happiness.
82. Don't die without reading "11002 Things to be Miserable About".
83. Don't spend your entire weekend writing a stupid list like this one when you have homework you should be doing.
84. Dont rite lk u txt.
85. Don't try to have more than one conversation at once. You will get bamboozled.
86. Don't study astronomy if you like feeling important.
87. Don't think that only people kill people. Guns kill people too; just watch Mythbusters. Jon Lajoie also kills people…WITH GUNS!
88. Don't think that cheesy YouTube videos don't completely rock ("Red vs. Blue" owns!!!!)
89. Don't stand down when times get tough; come back stronger than ever and KICK SOME ASS!
90. Don't think that "popcorn" isn't one of your options in "rock, paper, scissors".
91. Don't wonder what nineteen plus nineteen divided by two is. (It's nineteen. Actually, with correct order of operations, it's 28.75. But it's nineteen. Nineteen.)
92. Don't think that you have lost, for you have won the greater challenge of rebirth and recovery.
92b. Don't feel bad if you don't have a clue what that means, either.
93. Don't die without going to places like North Bay during shad fly season.
94. Don't sneeze when your mouth is full.
95. Don't say there is anything wrong with being all philosophical.
96. Don't think about how yogurt is made of millions of bacteria that are still alive and slowly turning it into mold. [Reese note: but I love yogurt ewwww]
97. Don't think of expiration dates as guidelines.
98. Don't forget to let your happiness soar into bliss.
99. Don't be ashamed to be freakishly happy-go-lucky.
100. Don't die without writing a book. [Reese note: Yes!!!] [Seconded by Rylan!!!!]
101. Don't die during your life. Period. [Reese note: This is impossible; though Ryan Nordal and Reese will become immortal if at all possible & and then live forever mwahahaha. Possibly via vampirism. Yum.]
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A/N: Ha! Haha! There you go. Now please review and tell us how our rules have changed your life, haha! And also read our original if you haven't already!
Byezez!
~Raye Lynne & the rest of the Secret Roomians (and Diana, who is not a Secret Roomian)