"Oh hey hon, you just missed Piper." Linda clicked her laptop shut and moved over on the sofa so her husband could join her. He'd been in the Flash costume when he ran into the living room, but when he collapsed over her lap he was wearing work out pants and an old t-shirt.

"Oh. Why'd he take off?" Wally asked.

"Well, he psychically sensed your imminent arrival and since he's been harboring a secret loathing of you he figured it was best to make himself scarce." Linda didn't actually have much of a sarcastic voice, and sometimes her perfect deliveries threw Wally. Luckily for him he was able to think at superhuman speed as well as run, or else she'd realize how stupid he could be.

"I'm glad his timing worked out then." Wally joked back. "Seriously, how's he doing? I haven't seen him for a few days."

Linda shook her head. "I think he's lonely."

"Oh hell, did you do some crazy emotional female psychoanalysis trip on him or something?" Wally asked, sitting up. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Do I look like I suddenly turned into Oprah or something? Fine, I don't just think he's lonely, he told me." Linda admitted. She frowned. "I guess it's been awhile since he's gone on a date-oh please Wally, grow up."

"Hey, I have no problems with Piper's sexual preference…I just don't like to think about it that much. It's icky."

Linda lightly smacked his arm. "Well get over the ickiness factor. I think we should find someone for him."

"What? Why is that our job?"

"First of all it's not. But think about it this way. If it was one of your straight friends, wouldn't you try to think of a girl you knew that they'd hit it off with?"

"No. I don't get a thrill out of matchmaking." Wally said with a smirk. "I believe that's more of a feminine joy, Oprah." Linda hit him again, but this time he grabbed his arm and cringed. "Ow! That one really hurt!"

"You're being an ass. If you don't want to help, fine, but I'm going to introduce him to one of my friends from work."

"I wasn't aware you knew a ton of gay guys." Wally commented, still rubbing his arm where he'd been hit. "Who?"

"I don't know a ton of gay guys…actually Hartley was complaining that Keystone is on the more closeted side and I'm going to have to say, I agree with him. But there's a cameraman named Eric who seems really nice. He's cute, anyway. They might hit it off."

"Eric…have I met him?" Wally asked. Linda shook her head. "Okay, so what's he like?"

Linda quirked an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't care about playing matchmaker."

"Well if you're making it a challenge…besides, Hartley's one of my friends. I need to make sure you're not setting him up with a loser."

"I'm not setting him up with a loser!" Linda insisted. "You'd like Eric. He's really friendly. We had a good conversation this morning about the Combines-"

"Yeah, what's he into besides hockey?"

"Don't interrupt."

"Well Piper hates sports so he'd better have something else going for him." Wally pointed out. Linda hesitated.

"He is gorgeous." She finally spluttered out.

"Ah huh."

"You don't think they're going to click, do you?" Linda looked annoyed. Wally reached for the remote control and propped his feet on the coffee table, seemingly losing interest in the conversation, which only further her agitation.

"If they do, I'll handle cooking and dishes for a month."

"Oh you jerk! Why are you so sure they won't work?" Linda demanded.

He shrugged. "I just don't think you know Piper well enough to know his type."

"Oh but you do. Mr. 'but it's icky!'"

"It is icky. Really big poops can hurt coming out, so I don't see why you'd want something big going in."

"Your maturity astounds me sometimes. Remind me again why I married you?" Linda said, once again in her scary-not-sarcastic sarcastic voice. Wally panicked a second before his brain caught up with the actual meaning of the sentence, albeit quickly enough for Linda not to notice. She didn't need to know he was immature and stupid to boot.

"You married me because I'm sexy?" He put forth in a small voice. Linda leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"That must have been it. Alright stud, if Eric doesn't work out then who do you suggest? Since you and Piper have this close, intimate relationship where you've learned what kind of man he's into and all."

Wally considered for a second. He wasn't actually sure he knew anybody else who preferred men…oh wait, he did but, no, that would never…well, maybe…actually yeah.

"Nightwing swings both ways."

Linda looked honestly surprised at that. Wally had found it to be the least surprising bit of news he'd ever heard, personally. Once she'd recovered from the announcement, she spent little time picking apart his idea.

"You cannot set Piper up with Nightwing."

"Why not?" Wally asked, surprised at the vehemence of her tone.

"Because I like Piper! And, well…I don't think it's a good idea for you to have one of our friends date someone you refer to as the Bat-Slut!"

Okay, that was a valid point. Wally thought of a way around it. "Bat-Slut's just a joke." It really wasn't. Dick's standards were loose. "I mean, yeah, he sleeps around a little when he's unattached-" which was like saying sometimes Batman could be a little, teeny bit cranky, "but when he's a boyfriend he's a really good one." Which was actually true.

Linda frowned, keen reporter's mind still picking apart the suggestion. "Do you even think they'd be attracted to each other?"

Wally openly laughed at that. "Dick can charm the pants off of anyone! No, wait, make that he can charm anyone into his. I don't think attraction will be a problem."

"What about the other way around?" Linda pressed. "We both know Piper's a great guy, but…he's a little, well, awkward. And bookish…and-"

"A nerd. Yeah, noted. So's Nightwing." Wally sat back against the couch, glad to have defeated that point so easily. Linda rolled her eyes.

"I know I don't know him as well as you do or anything, but really Wally-"

"I'm telling the truth! Dick's a certified nerd. Hon, when we were kids in the Titans together, me and Roy would be struggling through our homework together trying not to flunk out of school because of putting the super hero life ahead of our studying, and Dick would be sitting there reading college level books for fun. He's one of a handful of people I know who can keep up with Hartley in conversation about nerd stuff. And he wouldn't mention hockey once…actually, the more I think about it, that was a pretty good idea of mine. Huh. I'm a pretty good matchmaker after all."

"I'm not buying it."

"So what, do you think Piper's ugly or something?" Wally asked. It had been obvious the couple of times Linda had interacted with Nightwing that she didn't think he was…if Wally were a less secure man he might have been jealous. Alright, he had been ticked off, but at the same time it wouldn't be practical to get rid of all of the hot super hero friends he had. For starters, he wasn't sure he could take them all.

"I don't think Hartley's ugly." Linda bristled. "He could really be quite cute if he, well…"

"Lost the hippie pony tail?" Wally suggested.

"Saw a bit more of the sun and a bit less of the computer as well. He's pretty pasty."

"Yeah, and he's not the most suave dresser in the world." Wally shrugged. "I throw on whatever smells clean at the moment and you're hot and you still love me." He pointed out.

Linda rolled her eyes. "Well Nightwing seemed shallow to me. You really think he'd be interested in Hartley?"

Wally gave her a confused look. "Shallow? Oh what, you mean because he dated Korey for so long?"

Linda snorted. For some reason Wally didn't fully understand, women who didn't know Korey very well tended to dislike her. He figured they didn't expect her to be as sweet as she was or something.

"The space princess does pretty much sum up my argument. Or are you telling me she's a total nerd too and I've got her pegged all wrong?" Linda asked smugly.

"Naw, Korey's not a nerd. And yeah, Dick's relationship with her was mostly passion and sex, at least from what we could tell. But the big relationship in his life was with the first batgirl-"

"Oh, well obviously that wouldn't have been shallow at all. I mean she was a hag." Linda's voice dipped into genuine sarcasm for that one. Apparently it came out for female cattiness.

"Dick dated her after she was maimed to the point she couldn't continue the super hero life anymore." Wally particularly enjoyed the embarrassed look on his wife's face at that comment, and decided to leave the fact that the maiming hadn't affected Barbara's looks out of the conversation. "That relationship was deep. And she's a bookish computer nerd too. Ha. I'm right and you're wrong!"

"Well we'll see. I'll try setting Hartley up with Eric first, and if that goes well then you have to cook and do dishes as promised. If Eric fails, and you get him set up with Nightwing, then I'll…"

"I'll settle for fifty bucks."

"What?" She'd clearly been expecting a chore of some kind in return.

"I want fifty bucks left out of our joint-happily-married-couple finances to spend as idiotically and guy-ishly as I want."

"Fine. Fifty bucks it is."