Waiting in a car in the middle of summer in Maycomb, Alabama is no fun. The dog days around here mean scorchers, hot enough to burn the hair off the dog's back. Hank, my friend and my little sister's lover, is kicking back in the driver's seat with me in shotgun. The sweat is pouring off me so furiously that I take out a hankercheif and begin to rub the pool that had started on my chest.
"You feelin' all right?" Hank asked me.
"Yeah, man. Just sweatin', that's all."
"Just thought I'd ask."
"Ah Jesus, Hank! Y'all need to calm down; my heart attack was six months ago."
"Scared the shit out of all of us, though. The doctor said if I'd waited a few more minutes you would not be here."
"I know what the fucking doctor said, Hank. Guess what though? Here I am!" I said as I threw my sweaty hankerchief at him. I get so fucking annoyed when anyone brings up my heart attack. Yes, it was horrible and I know that people that care for me were concerned but I'm okay. I hate that all my loved ones sit back and just look at me like they are waiting for the next one. I got too much to live for; I've got my law career running high and I've got a girl that I'm going to marry soon. Despite my own health issues, my father's health issues, and my barely glued family, I'd say that life's been good to me so far.
"Hey, here she is," Hank said, getting all wide-eyed and giddy at the thought she was finally here.
"Yup," I say, grinning to myself at how much of a fool he was for my sister. Especially considering how much she could treat him like shit sometimes. He runs out of the car to go meet her while I take my time. The first sight I see is them kissing as soon as she gets off the train. I can already tell that my sister is embarrassed and betting money that she is telling him to knock it off.
"Barf!" I yell with a laugh. Jean begins to laugh herself as she sprints towards me and jumps into my arms.
"Barf at your face, asshole," she whispers in my ear. That gets us laughing again; I swear we have the weirdest and crudest brother/sister relationship ever.
"Barf at both of you," Hank said as he put Jean's bag in the trunk. Jean kisses my cheek and I kiss hers back as we head back into the car. Being the good brother that I am, I get in the backseat so she can sit next to her lover. I just hope they remember I'm back there because I really don't need them getting intimate on me.
It was a good ride at the beginning; they just talked about cars for the first part of the run. Jean Louise hated driving even though she was good at it and Hank lived for bigger, better cars. Then she wanted him to tell the ridiculous story of the scar on his face he got from the war. I didn't mind hearing it again because it was one of my favorites, too. Then Hank asked her how New York was and a few seconds later the inevitable happened:
"Give me a free hand for these two weeks and I'll make you tired of it."
Oh my God, I could live the rest of my life comfortably without hearing that. I can't even deal with what goes on after that so I just bang my head off the car window in hopes of knocking myself out. What could have turned into a serious argument or a serious love-making turned into them looking at me and laughing. Sure enough, they had forgotten I was back here.
"Now you know how I feel," Jean Louise said to me with a shit-eating smirk.
"Me and Sara Ann are never that bad," I protest.
"Sure," Hank and and Jean reply together. They just laugh and kiss each other in front of me just to piss me off.
"Shitheads!" I say with slaps for both of them.
"You love us though," Jean said matter-of-factly.
"God broke the mold when he made you, Jean Louise," I tell her; no lie.
"I bet he smiled, though," Jean Louise replied. I bet he did, sweet, I bet he did.