Hey guys, this is the first fanfiction that I'm going to TRY and complete. I have always wanted to write fanfiction but had low self-esteem about my writing skills. I do have a learning disability and I am trying to improve my skills. (Surprising I don't struggle with math like others with my condition do) Anyway, I had never watched the original Magnum, P.I. but I have fallen in love with the reboot. I also noticed that there weren't that many pairings of Higgins and Magnum. So here I am to answer the call, and just so we are clear: I am a horrible speller and I am dyslexic (I am not sure I spelled that right!) so sorry in advance. If you notice any errors PLEASE let me know. I am not sure how often I will be writing/upload as I am trying to finish college, but I will try my hardest not to leave you guys without a chapter for too long. Again, thank you and enjoy the story. BIG NOTE: I DON'T OWN MAGNUM P.I.

Summary: Juliet and Thomas have a near death experience (when are they not) and both are afraid of losing each other. Who will break and say "I love you" first?

Higgins POV

I should have seen it coming. How come I didn't see it. I should blame Magnum for this… what no, it's not his fault. Part of it is mine too and it might cost us both our lives.

Magnum had this new client, a woman named Rosa Miller, who fear that her new boyfriend was a drug dealer and wanted proof for some reason. I didn't understand why she wanted confirmation that he was. If I was her, I would just leave him if I had the slightest notion that he had a drug problem or was dealing. But I can understand why she would stay too. Most women want to see the best out of anybody, especially from the people they love. Per usual Magnum insured her that he would look in the boyfriend's background and follow him for about a week to see any suspicious activities. What Magnum forgot to say was that I will be looking in his background while he would be doing the following. But I didn't mine that Magnum did the "heavy work" while I did the background check, in fact, it brought me back to the days when Richard and I were on missions together.

Many times, Richard would distract the guards while I stole, sabotage, or killed the target for our mission. Of course, I had other missions where I was on my own because Richard or Ian couldn't come due to being on different assignments, but those where the ones I sort of hated doing. It was always an adventure with Richard, and it was always his cockamamie ideas that put a smile on my face. On one mission we had to kill this Ivor looking chap who was kidnapping assets from MI-6 and selling them to the highest bidder. Through intel, Richard and I found out that this man always had a group of bodyguards on him for most of the day, except for his nightly runs through Potters Fields Park. The intel also stated his love of high-end escorts and that he used steroids. With this knowledge, Richard thought I should dress up as an escort waiting for a new John and have him solicit me. While he was distracted Richard would sneak up behind him and restrain him, and I would inject him with a lethal dose of steroids. It would look like a drug overdose to the police and no one would question it any further. I thought it was a terrible idea but we had a very small timeline before he was set to leave the country. The night of the assassination, I wore a black Byron Lars Carissima Sheath Dress with Christian Louboutin's New Very Prive Patent Red Sole Pump and Edie Parker's Jean Solid Clutch which cost me around £ 1,503. As I was finishing putting on the dress, Richard came and stood by the bathroom door frame. He was just wearing a black jumper and trousers with trainers as he had to sneak up behind without being noticed by the target. Richard was looking me over when he said I look beautiful and should become a professional model as a fall back career.

"I'd absolutely hate it. These heels are only good for making me look taller and for me to be a desirable woman for our target." I said with a displeasing look on my face. "Plus, my feet are already hurting. How can women wear these things without falling over or feeling cramped in them?"

It's not that I don't like wearing these expensive clothes, for most of those brands are made from high-grade materials and I did look amazing in them. No, it's the fact I'm wearing these clothes for someone other than for Richard. After one of our missions, Richard had confessed that he had feelings for me and wanted to start dating. But MI-6 had policies against agents dating while being active in field operations. Though that didn't stop some members in other departments from doing it. I once walked in on two accountants having sex in the filing room. Let's just say they could never look me straight in the eye ever again. Non the less, Richard and I did try to keep our attraction for each other under close watch and never tried to be open about it. The only person to possibly knew was Ian and, at the time, we could trust him.

"Oh come on, any designer would beg you to model for them. No, scratch that, they worship you like Venus herself. In fact, I'm calling them right now," said Richard as he was fake dialing on his cell phone, "Yes? Hello…this is Richard Dane calling for Karl Lagerfeld…Yes, I have the most beautiful girl in the world and … Great say no more… She'll start next Saturday… Yes, thank you… No, no, thank you, good sir. Good evening. See you can do anything!"

"Richard, I know you're just saying that because we are dating, but thank you for the compliment."

As I was finishing putting on my makeup, a dark-smokey eyeshadow with dark red lipstick, and fixing my hair in a messy bun when I noticed Richard staring at me. I could tell he was nervous about something; I, thinking it was the mission, tried to comfort him.

"I think I should start off with, 'Hey baby looking for a good time? I'm cheap too, its only 10 K for a night. An extra 20 K and I'll do tricks. What'd say?' What do you think? Richard?"

Richard who was still leaning against the bathroom door frame came out of his trance once I said his name.

"Sorry, Jules… I just was in thought for a moment, what did you say?"

"Richard, what's wrong? If you're worried about the plan we can change it if you want. I could change into my trainers and pretend to be a runner like him. You can sneak up behind and still hold him while I inject him. After he dies of the overdose, and we stage it to make it look like he did it, we can just walk out like a normal couple out for a late-night run."

"No, its… the plan is perfect… it's just that…" Before Richard could finish his sentence his cellphone ringed. Quickly he turned away from me to reach his pocket to answer it. "Dane here… Yes… Yes, she is here too sir. Actually, sir, we are ready to head out and… What? What do you mean dead? … No, sir, we didn't do that… Who could have… Viper? You sure sir?... Yes, sir… We will be there first thing tomorrow morning… Yes sir, good night." Richard hung-up the phone before looking back at me with a grim look.

"Richard what happened and what's this about Viper, did he kill our target?"

"Yes Jules, I'm afraid our target was killed along with his bodyguards at his flat. All eight guards were killed with a single GSW to the head while the target has multiple to the chest. It looked like he was tortured before he died. The forensic team is at the scene now going through it, but they haven't found anything that suggests it was anyone else other than Viper himself."

"How could this happen? I mean, this was an 'off the books' mark! The only people who knew of the hit were told to keep quiet about it! I swear to God if this was some rookies mistake, I'll go Bloody Mary on their arse!" I was so furious that I ripped my shoes off and flung them out the doorway barely missing Richard's head.

After managing to dodge the shoes, Richard turned back to face me. "You're going to burn them in the square?" He knew I was just upset about losing a target and didn't mean it. But when I was this bad, a joke always cooled me off.

"Well… it's a start. I just put in this much effort in this mission and have it turn into a failure. Now we find these leaks and have to figure out how to fix them. Not to mention the security checks and scrubs we have to do tomorrow. I'm just… tired. Richard, I'm just tired of all this." I looked away from his gaze to look down in the sink and started to cry. I had been an agent since my 22nd birthday and had been doing this job for five years. I had heard of agents getting fatigued, but this was different. What was I doing with my life? I'm 27 years old, living a spy's life you're not able to have any friends, other than office members, or have a family of your own if you're a field agent. My mother passed away two years ago and my father died when I was a little girl, I was truly alone. The only person I had was Richard and, as is on cue, Richard stood next to me pulling me into a hug. "I am sorry I didn't mean to get emotional there."

"Never apologize for feeling that way, Jules. in fact, there was something I have been meaning to ask you for a while now and …" As if the stars a lined and angels themselves came and bless us with a perfect moment, Richard got down on one knee and said, "Juliet Amelia Higgins, would you do me the honour and become my wife?" Richard pulls out this beautiful silver band ring with a square-cut diamond in the center.

"Yes. Yes! Yes! Richard, I will!" I scrambled to my knees and began kissing him feverishly. After a few moments, Richard place the ring on my ring figure and we continued to make out. We eventually ended up in bed together, where we had the best intercourse I had in a while. After that night we had started making plans to leave MI-6 and start our family. Richard planned on working as a foreign language teacher at the university while I planned on being a computer analyst or possibly a stay-at-home mum. It was a week before Richard when missing, that I thought I was pregnant and told him of my beliefs. Richard said he would be back in time for both the wedding and the first doctor's appointment, but had to do one last mission before starting our lives. But he never came back. And what was worse, I wasn't actually pregnant.

I had been at my flat waiting to hear from Richard when I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I felt so much pain that I called 999 for an ambulance. Once at the hospital, I inform the GP that I believed I was pregnant and might be having a miscarriage. After what seem to be hours of testing and laying in a hospital bed and gown, the doctor came in to tell me that I had mistaken an irregular cycle for pregnancy. Of course, I felt like an idiot for making a mistake like that and felt bad that I had given Richard false hope. But I knew that we would get pregnant in no time, and eager for the baby making process. However, that dream too died that day. When I got back to the flat I noticed a few missed calls on my cellphone. They were all about agents finding Richard dead.

And now, here I am just like Richard sinking to the bottom of the seabed in a harbor, with no legacy to leave behind. Thirty-three years old with no family, no husband or children, and practically no home of my own. I worry not for Zeus and Apollo, Rick or Kuma would look after them when I am gone, and Robin knows that I wish to be buried by Richard in London. But what of Magnum, did he make it out of the houseboat or did the bomb get him too? If he did, I swear to whatever god he believes in to let me haunt his arse for the rest of his life! No, I'm doing it again. The truth is I am jealous of Thomas. He is in many ways, though I hate to omit to this, is exactly like Richard. Thomas is able to banter back and forth with me, he has a charming smile, and most of all, he likes the true me. The woman who wants to help as many she can without having to second-guess the decision she's made and would listen to her advice when she hands it out. If only I had been open instead of fanny about my feeling towards Thomas, I wouldn't have this gut-wrenching pain I feel. Maybe he wouldn't be dating this Abby lass he seems to be so fond of. Maybe he and I would have gotten married and have little Magnums running around with Zeus and Apollo chasing them. Maybe this is all but a dream and any moment the lads will bark and wake me up from this nightmare. But as the world around me gets darker and my lungs fill with sea water, the last thought I have on the mortal earth is… "I love you, Thomas Magnum."

Thanks again for those who chose to read this story. Again, I have wanted to do this for a long time but been so scared to try. I always put myself down because of some people telling me I have no business in writing. If you have any recommendations please message me and I will make a correction as soon as I can.