Smoke and Mirrors
post S6; Penelope Garcia, Emily Prentiss (Criminal Minds)
Emily is … different when she returns.
-o-
You stand in front of me,
pretending to be solid,
but you are nothing more
than smoke and
mirrors.
'Crank' by Ellen Hopkins
-o-
She's sitting in the conference room the first time it truly hits, dark hair falling in a curtain across her face. She is perfectly still, back straight, chin jutted forward, eyes focused straight ahead though Penelope doubts she is actually seeing; instead, she thinks she is caught in her own world, her own thoughts, own imagination.
"Emily?" she says. Careful, careful – she doesn't want to startle her. She watches the muscles of the other woman's back ripple as she twists and looks over her shoulder and Garcia is floored.
Her eyes skim the tightened jaw, smooth skin, and finally – into her heavily-lidded eyes. They look black in the artificial light of the room, almost like a vacuum, and she swallows, takes a step back.
-o-
She watches from a distance, sees Emily keep the team at arm's length, not letting any of them get too close. It hurts, that even now she doesn't truly trust them. She passes the wall of fallen agents and slows, as is habit, as she approaches where Emily's picture used to hang.
"Garcia?"
She turns at Morgan's voice and watches as his eyes look to the wall, then to her again.
"I wish..." she begins, only to falter.
Morgan reaches out, squeezes her hand. "Me too, baby girl, me too."
-o-
Another day, another case, another busy police station and Garcia's hands clench as an officer stands a little too close to Emily, his interest clear. Emily says something Garcia doesn't catch but she sees the officer's surprise that quickly turns to anger, sees him mouth 'fucking tease.'
Emily doesn't pay him any further attention, instead she focuses on the whiteboard, ignores him as he storms out of the room. To an outsider, she would appear poised, controlled, but Penelope sees the faint tremor in her wrist, how she holds one hand in a fist at her side, ready to lash out at any moment.
-o-
She drags Emily out for a drink and they sit in a corner booth. Emily has her back to the wall and her eyes dart around the room, assessing every entrance, every patron. Penelope supposes its become second nature, given the past year.
"Anyone we should worry about?" she quips.
Emily's raises an eyebrow, shakes her head.
"Then smile," Garica pleads, "do or say something."
Emily blinks, somehow slowly and surprised at the same time, then dips her head. "The thing is, Penelope," she whispers. "I'm not certain if I remember how."
Tears fall and Garcia reaches out, brushes them away with her thumb.
"Come with me."
-o-
She presses her lips to her neck, hot and quick against her skin, and Emily leans into the caress. She slides a hand beneath her shirt, splays her fingers over smooth skin, against the scar on her stomach, traces her thumb in small circles. Emily freezes, ashamed, and Penelope rests her forehead against the other woman's clavicle, inhales deeply, lets her hand travel higher. Emily's breath catches as Penelope opens her blouse, sees the clover seared on her breast. She says nothing as she traces each line, each curve.
Penelope...
She shudders as Penelope replaces her finger for her tongue. Emily is sweet, absolutely searing against her lips. She tries to reach upward but Penelope's fingers wrap tightly around her wrist, keep her in place. Emily arches into her touch, breathes 'yes', shivers as hands skate over pale skin.
-o-
Later, they're quiet, just breathing, and soon Emily falls asleep.
Penelope's eyes stay open, wanting to savour every moment of this peaceful Emily. She watches the other woman's chest rise and fall, counts her breathing. How long she lies there, she isn't sure, but at some point she rests her hand at Emily's hip and lets her eyes close.
Emily shifts in her sleep and Penelope allows a small smile to touch her lips when long fingers entwine with hers.
-o-
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, it is the property of CBS. Title taken from 'Crank' by Ellen Hopkins.