Title: First Kiss
Author: Caera1996
Rating: PG
WC: 1,235
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: See title.
Note: For smudley - I hope you like it!
Jim cleared up the takeout cartons, getting rid of the empty ones and sticking the leftovers in the fridge. Bones wiped the table and washed their utensils.
"That was good, I was starved. Thanks for picking it up, Jim," he said. "How much do I owe ya?"
"Oh…nothing. It was no problem."
Leonard gave Jim a slightly quizzical look as he relaxed on the couch, the very long day totally catching up with him. Between classes and his responsibilities as a section assistant and a shift at the Student Clinic, he was done. The only saving grace to a day like today was the fact that he could sleep in tomorrow.
Jim joined him on the couch, and leaned back with a sigh.
"Well, thanks. Got any plans for tonight Jim?"
Jim rolled his head towards Leonard, a small smile on his face. "Why, you wanna go out and get a drink?"
Leonard snorted, closing his eyes. "Too tired. But don't feel like you have to stay here for me."
Jim licked his lips nervously, his response stuck in his throat. He wanted to stay with him. He had no desire to go out if Bones wasn't with him. It'd been that way for a while, and Jim had only fairly recently come to terms with why that was.
It'd happened slowly. Jim had never met anyone like Bones. And though he didn't make the best first impression, there was something about him that resonated with Jim. So, he'd done something he hadn't done in years…he made an effort, and did what he could to keep the irascible "Doctor, dammit!" in his life. And, slowly, they became friends. Jim was relatively certain he was the only person Bones opened up to since his divorce, and Jim, to his surprise, found it – well, not easy, exactly – but possible to open up to him in return. And almost without realizing it was happening, Bones became Jim's best friend…and then those feelings changed a little. It was a powerful thing, to not feel alone anymore.
So, that's where he was. Jim was confident in the idea that he was Bones' best friend as well…but anything beyond that, he just didn't know.
He was tired of not knowing, though, and that was what made him say what was on the tip of his tongue. "I want to stay with you, Bones," Jim said quietly, wondering if Bones would truly hear him.
Leonard frowned slightly, opening his eyes and focusing on Jim. It wasn't the words…not completely…but what he heard with them that caught his attention. An earnestness, a nervousness…very un-Jim-like tones in that one sentence. He wasn't looking at Leonard, and a slight flush was working its way up his neck. Leonard considered this for a moment, being careful to keep a tight lid on thoughts he'd carefully put away. Jim was his friend. Period.
But Jim's admission didn't sound like "just" friendship. And he really didn't know what to make of that.
"Why?" Leonard asked. "Why not go out, find someone fun?"
Jim shifted slightly, wondering how much to say…how to say it.
"I just…want to stay with you," Jim repeated, glancing up at Leonard, willing him to get it, to meet him half-way…cause damn this was hard, and he wasn't good at this kind of stuff.
Leonard wasn't that great at it either, but he wasn't deaf, and he wasn't blind. And Leonard sat up, focusing on Jim – on what he was saying, how he was saying it – and, for the first time, let himself entertain the possibility of what he thought Jim might be actually saying.
"I thought you liked going out…finding someone to have some fun with," Leonard said cautiously.
Jim shrugged uncomfortably. "Not for a while," he said. "I haven't done that for a while."
And thinking back on it…Leonard realized that was true. For the last couple of months, they'd spent a lot of time together…after class, or his shifts at the clinic, weekends, quietly studying or reading. And when they'd gone out, Jim hadn't left him to finish the night with anyone else, and he hadn't gone out at all if Leonard wanted to stay in, Like tonight, he thought…getting dinner, poking through little shops on a rare day off, stopping to lay on the grass and look up at the stars when they'd returned to campus after hanging out at a bar.
Leonard simultaneously felt like an idiot, and amused at the pair of them, and wondered how he could've missed this.
"Jim…have we been dating?" he asked, a slight smile gracing his lips.
Jim abruptly turned red, the slight flush darkening into a full blush. He shrugged, really unable to think of anything to say that wouldn't make him sound like an idiot. After a moment, he was able to make himself look up at Bones again, and the gently amused expression on his face made him smile in return, some of the tension leaving him with the realization that Bones got it…and maybe felt the same way.
"How long?" Leonard asked when Jim actually appeared to be tongue-tied.
Jim shrugged again. "Since March," he said.
Leonard thought back to March – Jim had been sick. Not severely, but he'd had the flu and felt awful – feverish, nauseous, achy everywhere – even his skin had hurt. And instead of letting Jim go back to his own dorm with a roommate he didn't really care for, and who didn't care about him, Leonard had brought Jim back to his own single room.
For the couple of days Jim really felt like crap, Leonard had taken care of him – everything from urging him to sip broth to changing the bedsheets to keep him as comfortable as possible – and during that time Jim came to understand that Bones really cared about him. It'd been a while since he'd had that, and when he was better and could focus, he realized that he wanted it. And he wanted it because it was Bones.
"That's…quite a while," Leonard said. "Why didn't you say something?"
"What could I say, Bones? Would anything I said have mattered?"
Leonard raised his eyebrows, surprised at how perceptive Jim was. "No," he answered honestly. "Probably not."
Jim nodded. "So…I decided to show you."
And he had. He'd gone out of his way to, for months. And Leonard had determinedly not noticed. Until now.
Sitting close to each other as they were, Leonard let his eyes travel over Jim's features. The flush had faded, and now he met Leonard's eyes with more confidence.
"You have," Leonard said sincerely. "I should've seen it sooner. I think…I was not seeing on purpose. Maybe I wasn't ready. But…I am now. And it's my turn to show you."
With that, he leaned forward and cupped Jim's face, rubbing a thumb over his cheekbone. Their lips met in a gentle, sweet kiss…and Jim felt it through his whole body. He reached out, wrapping an arm around Bones' shoulders and holding him as the kiss deepened. They pulled apart after a moment, looking into each other's eyes, finding echoes of their own feelings.
Jim smiled. "I've wanted to do that forever," he admitted. Leonard leaned back, pulling Jim with him and he went willingly. Resting his head on Bones' shoulder, he closed his eyes and relished the feeling of being held, the feeling of finally being where he belonged.
