Disclaimer: I do not own Skip Beat! nor do I own the song 'Fix You' by Coldplay.
With her feet scraping against the sidewalk, Kyoko fought to keep tears from escaping her eyes. She had promised that she would never let that bastard make her cry again. But lately, it seemed as if all odds were against her. Her thoughts traveled back to earlier that day, where everything had gone wrong.
She had been cast in another one of Shotaro's PVs. When she first received the offer from Sawara-san a week ago, she had wanted to rip it up into little pieces and angrily stomp on them. But, she remembered what her senpai would think. If she wanted to ever reach the same level as Tsuruga-san, she needed to take every job that broadened her horizons. And, a PV acting as a female protagonist definitely fell in that category. It was the perfect chance to show directors she could play something other than a villain, and if it was any other singer, she would have taken the job in a heartbeat.
So, Kyoko begrudgingly accepted the offer. That proved to be a mistake on her part. She was to play Shotaro's romantic lead in the PV, something she was not at all prepared for. Somehow, she found herself unable to relax near her ex-best friend. When the bottle blonde had to put his arm around her shoulder, she instantly stiffened. Not only was her body language horrible, but her face portrayed no emotion at all. Instead of showing extreme love and affection for a significant other, the director told her that she had a looked blank of thought or feeling. It was a new sensation for Kyoko. Usually, she allowed a character to flow through her, and take over her actions. But, there was no character to act on. That emotion was hiding in the depths of her heart, lost among the breakage and pieces of her past abandonment.
Over a dozen NG's later, the director had no choice but to let her go. It was that moment where her broken heart suddenly became more real. There was no way she could, at that time, properly display the emotion she had lost about a year ago.
As the teen reached the hotel, she took a minute to get into her character as Setsu before entering the establishment. She could not let today's failure get in the way of her esteemed senpai's assignment. Despite the helplessness she was feeling inside, she needed to be the best overly-doting little sister she could be.
Already donning her 'Setsu' attire, Kyoko lounged up upon the couch, waiting for 'Cain' to arrive. The moment he did, he being already completely in-character as well, they set off for his filming as BJ. While watching her big brother repeat lines like the professional he was, the 'Setsu' mask started to wear away, and Kyoko couldn't help but allow the sadness from earlier to bubble up.
What if Tsuruga-san is disappointed in me? What if he no longer wants me as his kohai? She just prayed he wouldn't ask, and she wouldn't have to bring it up. That blonde idiot seemed to be a sore spot with him for reasons she couldn't figure out.
Soon, Cain's shooting was over and the Heel Siblings drove back to their hotel room. However, Ren noticed that something was wrong with Setsu, or more likely, Kyoko. She lacked her usual enthusiasm, and all her smiles or laughter seemed somewhat forced. He worried that it was something that idiot Fuwa said or did. Unfortunately, Yashiro had told him about Kyoko's offer in the blonde's PV, and ever since then, Ren had been stressing about it. Thoughts of if Kyoko still had plans of revenge muddled his brain, or if she actually wanted to see him. Now, seeing her look so upset after filming the PV, he couldn't help but think Fuwa had something, possibly everything, to do with it.
As soon as they reached the hotel room, Ren could hold it no longer.
"Is something wrong, Mogami-san?"
"Of course not, Tsuruga-san." she replied, smiling much too brightly. Ren wondered vaguely if that was what his fake smile looked like.
"Don't think I can't tell a fake smile when I see one." he stated, his tone reprimanding. Kyoko just frowned. She didn't have enough effort to try to deny him. "You know, you can tell me what's bothering you." he continued, his tone much softer.
"His PV" she mumbled simply, knowing her senpai would realize whom she was referring to.
"Did he bother you?" Ren asked, trying to keep his voice neutral, as not to scare her.
"No more than usual. But, he wasn't exactly my problem" Kyoko hesitated on whether to continue, but decided to trust him, "I got fired." That had not been what Ren was expecting at all, but he knew from experience how horrible it was to be asked to leave a set.
"What happened?" The actress did not want to talk about it at all, and she wondered if she could even retell her day without crying. But, seeing the caring look on Ren's face, she thought that maybe talking about it would help.
"I couldn't portray the emotions the director was asking for," she started, her voice cracking, "He wanted me to act like a girl in love, and I just couldn't do it. I was..afraid of remembering what it was like to be in love, and in the end, I came up blank. I just...couldn't do it." Tears brimmed her eyes, but Kyoko tried to keep them in. She didn't want to burden her senpai more than she already was.
Ren's heart went out for the girl. He knew how Fuwa had broken her heart, as well as the etchy past with her mother. It must have been hard for her to remember love, after being left so many times. He wished he could just wrap his arms around her, and tell her that he loved her. That he would never leave her, and that everything would be ok. Again, he wished he could still be her Corn, who could make her tears disappear without a trace. Corn!
"Mogami-san, do you have your Corn stone with you?" Snifelling slightly, Kyoko nodded, and went to go grab the precious stone from her bag. I forgot about Corn, thought both Kyoko and Ren. As soon as Kyoko laid eyes on the shimmering blue stone, her troubles seemed to lessen. When she pressed the cool rock to her face, the tingling against her cheek comforted her, as if to say 'I'm here for you; everything's going to be ok'.
She nearly jumped when Ren placed a hand on her shoulder. But, she slowly relaxed when he began to draw circles on her back and whispered, "It's alright." After a minute of this, she Kyoko felt like the sadness had been sucked right out of her. A Corn and Tsuruga-san double dose? she giggled in her mind. However, a depressing thought snapped in her mind.
"What if I'm asked to play love in the future, and I can't?"
"I'm not really an expert on the subject," he admitted, "but I think like any other emotion, you just need a real life example."
"But Tsuruga-san knows that I don't love anybo-"
"What about Maria-chan and Kotonami-san?" he interjected, trying not to take what she was about to say too much to heart.
"That's different. They're girls." she scrunched her nose at the suggestion, and Ren chuckled. She shot him an angy look, so he quickly stopped.
"What I meant was that you still love them, and can portray the happiness that their love brings you."
"I suppose..but what about doing..you know..couple stuff?" He assumed she meant holding hands,hugging, and kissing and nothing else.
"Hm..maybe there's some male figure you don't mind hugging that you can picture?" He knew it was a shot in the dark that she would choose him, but he still hoped.
Kyoko's first thought was her senpai, but she quickly pushed the thought away. Tsuruga-san would be disgusted to do those kind of things with someone as lowly as me! The next person who came into her head was Kuu, but he was her father and that would be a little..messed up to say the least.
Lastly, she imagined Corn, as an older version.
"Corn!" she told him, "I would want to hug an older version of Corn! I bet he looks soo handsome as a grown up fairy. His wings would have grown to their full size, so he can soar high!" Ren was smiling widely at this. Even if she didn't pick him, picking Corn was a close second.
"I'm sure Mogami-san will be fine playing someone in love in the future." he said assuredly.
"Too bad I can't finish the PV. It would be my chance to practice." Kyoko stated wistfully.
"Is there any way you can get a second chance?" he asked her.
"Maybe. I don't think they've picked a replacement actress yet. I might still have a chance!" Her golden eyes burned with enthusiasm, and Ren was happy to see the Kyoko he loved back to usual.
It was the nearly two o'clock in the morning when Kyoko heard Tsuruga-san mumbling in his sleep. She was having a wonderful dream about meeting Corn again, when the sounds of her senpai's sleep talking woke her up. At first she giggled at the idea of the great Tsuruga Ren being a sleep talker, but was saddened when she heard how distressed he sounded. He kept mumbling things like 'Rick' and 'sorry' and 'accident', while thrashing around. Kyoko rushed to side and put her hand to his forehead.
"He hasn't got a fever." she noted. But, she knew she couldn't leave him like this. Not when he had helped her so much earlier that day.
"It's alright, Tsuruga-san." she cooed, caressing his hair. Once again, Kyoko was surprised by how soft it was between her fingers. When he calmed down, she reluctantly pulled her hand away, only to have him shiver at the loss of her touch and begin thrashing again. Sighing, she pulled the covers up and lay down in the bed next to him. Continuing to run her fingers through his raven locks, she mulled over what had just happened.
Judging by how upset he had been, Kyoko figured her senpai had a brokenness inside him, similar to her. But, unlike her, he didn't have a Corn stone to take the bad feelings away.
Maybe I can be his corn stone, she thought in a half asleep state. And maybe I can help fix his brokenness. Just then, Ren wrapped an arm around Kyoko's waist, to pull her closer to him. There was a wave of warmth and comfort that Kyoko felt from the contact that she couldn't deny. It was relaxing in a way, and she could hear the sound deep within her of the locks around her heart snapping off. She began to drift off into a sweet-dream filled sleep.
And maybe he can fix me as well.
Author's Note: Hello again! Due to my inability to come up with a new story idea, I decided to try doing a songfic. It was actually pretty fun, in it's own right. However, this was more inspired by the song than following it. Oh well. Like Kyoko, I want to expand my horizons a bit. So, if you have a song you want me to make a fic for, please private message me, or leave it in a review. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. If so, look forward to more :)
