4 Reasons to Never Let Bruce Wayne Go Shopping Alone

A Word: Yeah, I just wanted bby!Jason to be dog piled for hugs. By as many siblings as possible.

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Hello, Gotham! Do I have a juicy bit of information for you today! I recently took tea with young Selina Wayne and had a chance to get to the heart of this startling business the Wayne's have been up to lately.

The Wayne manor is as stately and elegant as ever, and Mrs. Wayne is in top form when she receives me. Modest pleasantries aside, for the sake of my dear readers, I'm quick to cut to the chase with Selina. "So, really Selina. Four!?"

Selina smiles like a Bodhisattva as she offers me a tall glass of minty iced tea. "Yes, well, I've always known it was a bad idea to let Bruce go shopping on his own. So I only have myself to blame for this."

"Are you saying Bruce impulse bought four children?" I ask, knowing that with Bruce's rather flaky history that is very likely the truth of the matter!

"Perhaps," Selina's smile turns absolutely fond, and makes me rather doubt the stories circulating about Mr. Wayne's residence in the dog house lately. "We'd known for a week we were going to take Richard in."

Naturally! Given Bruce's own past it was certain that the grisly image of that poor boy losing his family would tug at something in the man's heart! The Wayne's decision to adopt young Richard Grayson was a shock to very few in Gotham I'm sure.

"It was my mistake to send Bruce to the orphanage alone to finish the paper work and bring our son home. You see, when he arrived he saw Richard playing with little Cassandra and I'm afraid his heart couldn't take getting between them."

"Of course," and Wayne manor certainly has more than enough room for two children. "Forgive me, but Cassandra is-"

"Our dark haired girl. The shy one," Selina answers graciously. "Stephanie is our light haired girl. Bruce was almost finished filling out the forms for Cassandra when Stephanie forced her way into the office and very firmly informed him that he wasn't going to take her sister away from her."

"Assertive little thing, isn't she?"

"That she is," Selina's voice is dry and hints at how assertive the child can be. "I'm just happy that Bruce was able to get out of the orphanage after that without anyone else demanding to be adopted."

"Oh," I ask, surprised, "but what about the fourth child? Didn't Bruce adopt all the children on the same day?"

"He did," Selina smiles, and it's a touch wry as she sips from her iced tea. "Bruce found Jason outside the orphanage stealing the hubcaps off his car, and thought he might as well get a full set of boys since he already had two girls."

"Oh, my!" It startles one to hear of the things that young children are often forced to do in these times. Startles and sickens, and my heart breaks at the untold story of poor little Jason Todd. Undoubtedly just the same as Bruce Wayne's did that day. "It's so touching what the two of you have done for these children, but does it not get a little-"

My question is cut off by a not so distant shriek. A young boy runs through the room, dodging the couch we are sitting on, and screaming at the top of his lungs, "Don't touch me you circus freak!"

An older boy is quick on his heels, and is easily identifiable as Richard Grayson when he flips over my very own head and neatly tackles the young man, who must be Jason Todd, to the carpet "No! Hug me!"

The younger boy struggles and throws out words that quite frankly no child should know but does not get free. Two adorable little girls round the couch and, giggling, throw themselves on top of the pile. The blonde girl is chanting in an adorable little voice, "Hugs! Hugs! Hugs!"

"Get off me!" Young Jason yells though he's no longer visible under the tangle of children limbs on the floor. "You're all elephants! How fat are you!?"

"Mistress Selina," a calm voice drags my attention away from the clamoring mass. Mr. Pennyworth offers a tray with two fresh glasses of tea and a small bottle of Motrin.

Selina, the darling that she is, accepts the drink but declines the tablets saying only, "Thank you, Alfred, but I believe I'm getting used to it now."

And, really, isn't that the way true parenthood is? Well, I'm out of space now, my dear readers. So, until next time!

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