Flashback

Dad was doing what dad did best. He was wearing his boxers and old worn college sweatshirt; beer can in one hand, remote in the other, his eyes glued to the television. He'd been out of work for six months and in that time he had moved from the sofa only to eat and relieve himself. He was narky with mum and oblivious to us and when drink fuelled he was violent.

Mum was in the kitchen, apron on and casserole in the oven. She was pottering around occasionally passing dad cans from the fridge when he shouted through.

Jake was in his room CD player turned up to full volume. Mum had knocked once and asked him to turn it down, but she received no response. Dad went in, turned the music down and gave him a slap.

Debbie and Steph were out, which was no surprise. It was wise to spend as little time as possible in our house.

I was in the kitchen with mum. I liked helping her bake and tonight she was making a trifle for desert.

"Mum can I ask you something?"

"Sure sweetie anything."

I cringed. I hated it when she used pet names, but considering what I was about to ask her I figured winding her up wasn't exactly my smartest option.

"I wanted to invite a friend over, maybe on Saturday. Is that okay?"

My cheeks were flushed and I couldn't look her in the eye, but she didn't seem to notice, she was too busy reading through the recipe.

"I don't think we have plans so I guess that would be alright. What's her name? If it's that Sarah Barnes again Craig…"

"No. No it's not Sarah. In fact it…it's not a girl at all."

I mumbled so quietly I was surprised she heard.

"Oh. Well what's this lad called then? Do we know him?"

"Yeah you've met. Justin Burton. I just thought he could come over play a few computer games and we could watch the match."

"That sounds fun. It will be lovely to finally meet one of your friends Craig. Won't it Gary?"

"Humph. I'm not driving you about lad, so he better be able to get home."

That was the best I could have hoped for from my dad.

"He can. But I was going to ask him to stay over if he wanted."

"Fine."

Mum had returned to the desert and dad had lost interest in my existence.

"Mum?"

"Yes Craig. Pass me that bowl would you?"

"I wanted t…to talk to you about Justin."

Instinctively my hand seemed to migrate to the back of my neck where I rub vigorously whenever I am nervous.

"What about him? How long have you been friends with him?"

"A while."

"It seems strange he has never been round before."

"He comes in the pub it's just usually easier for us to meet up outside."

I glimpsed at my dad as way of an explanation, which my mum acknowledged with a brief nod.

"So you are good friends then? Pass me the jelly it should have set."

"He is my best friend. Mum I need to tell you something."

"Can it wait Craig? I need to get this bit right."

"Frankie! Empty."

Gary chucked his empty can onto the floor for her to pick up.

"Coming, Love. Just hand your dad one of those would you Craig?"

"Mum!"

"What?"

"I need to get this out. Will you please sit down?"

"I'm in the middle of sorting dinner."

"It will take less than five minuets if you listen and then I guess you will have one less for dinner. I added as an after thought. Justin and I…I mean he is…we're…"

"Spit it out Craig."

"God how thick are you? He's queer."

Jake had chosen that particular moment to surface from his pit.

"Thanks. Thanks very much."

I smiled at him sarcastically. Mum nearly fell off the chair, which would have been funny at any other time. Dad said nothing. He didn't even move. In fact I thought I may have just had that conversation with myself.

"You…you're gay?"

It seemedto take her forever to recover. But recover she did.

"OUT."

My God it spoke. He turned to face me, his face like thunder. I looked to mum and Jake for support, but they both just looked shocked and disgusted.

"Mum?"

"What do you want me to say Craig?"

"That you love me no matter what. That as long as I'm happy you are happy too."

"I can't."

She covered her face, as tears poured from her eyes.

"Jake?"

"I don't know you anymore."

My own brother couldn't even bare to look at me.

"I haven't changed. I'm still me. I am still your son and your annoying baby brother.

I just…"

"OUT."

"No. You need to listen."

"Don't tell me what I have to do. This my house and I said GET OUT."

For the first time Craig stood his ground. Biting his lip and shivering from head to toe he stared his dad full in the face.

"I'm not leaving."

"You walk out or I'll throw you out. Your choice."

"You're my family."

"Not any more."

"Mum please?"

"Pack a bag now."

"I can't believe you are still letting him be like this. He's a bully and a disgrace and he's not going to change."

I realized what was about to happen a half second before it did and I managed to dodge out of the way. Unfortunately, due to dad's alcohol consumption his aim was untrue and Mum took the brunt of his fist to the face. Without waiting for the repercussions I ran and I didn't look back.

"Craig!"

I heard her call my name, but I was already at the foot of the stairs. I steamrollered through Steph and Debbie who were chatting animatedly. I didn't even stop to say bye. There was only one person I wanted to see and one place I wanted to be. Subconsciously in autopilot my feet took me there.

I knocked on the door loudly and forcefully, but nobody answered.

"Justin! Justin!"

I shouted his name repeatedly but got no response. I went straight to the loft, maybe he was working. He wasn't behind the bar, but maybe he was in the office. This wasn't right. In fact he hadn't been in school either. Warren accosted me as I was about to leave.

"Sit. I don't bite. After years of being my dad's and then Jake's punch bag I wasn't exactly scared of Warren, even though his hard man reputation preceded him. You want a drink?"

"No. I'm looking for Justin."

"I know. Me too. I obviously looked confused, so he clarified. He hasn't turned in for his shift."

Now I was staring to worry. Justin wouldn't just not show up for work. I decided to give his mobile another go. As I was calling him a text came through.

'Craig. My dad took a job in Manchester, so we moved this morning. I didn't know how to say bye and he didn't give me much choice so this is my only option. I meant what I said. Everything we planned and everything we promised I want you to know it was true. I love you and I always will. I miss you already. Maybe I'll see you soon. Love J x'

"Are you okay?"

Without even realizing I was wiping tears from my eyes.

"He's gone. His parents moved him to Manchester."

"He didn't tell you?"

"He said he didn't know how to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry, Craig."

Warren wrapped me in a comforting embrace.

"Me too. I loved him. I really did."

"I know and he loved you too. Don't ever think he didn't okay?"

"I told my mum tonight."

"I take it that went well?"

"Yeah great. I'm homeless and broke."

"We can fix that. I have a sofa you can crash on and I am suddenly a bar worker short."

"Why are you being so nice?"

"I told you we are short staffed tonight, plus you need the help. Don't tell anyone though I don't want to tarnish my reputation.

He flashed me his famous cheeky smile.

"Don't worry I won't. And Warren?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."