Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)
Shrek walked out of his outhouse, with his butt fresh from taco bell's crunchwrap supreme cleansing. Shrek glanced at donkey, who looked fine as ever with his new blonde haircut and glistening blue eyes. How're ya doin' donkey. "Mighty fine Shrek, mighty fine. The babes are all over me now Shrek. I seen a dragon thot every place I been." Donkey took a long pause. "Aye yo Shrek, you mind if I practice flirtin' on you?" Donkey asked quietly yet hopeful. Shrek began blushing, he had been dreaming of this moment for his entire life! But what was he supposed to say? His little man had already been pitching the tent. What if donkey saw?
"DONKEY, don't look DOWN" Shrek yelled embarrassingly. "Shrek, I'm lookin' down!". Donkey marveled in awe at Shrek's giant slug in his pants. Shrek and Donkey stared at each other for a long while before Shrek's Pinocchio grew out and ripped his pants. "Are you ready Donkey" Shrek whispered seductively. "I was born ready, Shrek".
TO BE CONTINUED