The Adoption of Raela'Shepard nar Normandy
A/N This is a bridge piece between NuclearBuddha's 'The Adventures of Raela'Shepard nar Normandy on her Pilgrimage' ( 721659/blog/4559/) and Andrio's 'Raela'Shepard nar Normandy' ( s/5954064/1/Raela-Shepard-nar-Normandy). There are also elements from Calinstel's 'To Survive' series. All three are excellent pieces of work by excellent writers and I recommend reading the first two to set the tone of this piece.
Chapter 1: Home
It was moments, timeless it seemed, as Shepard sat there with Raela in his arms, Tali by his side. The hiss of her reattaching her mask brought him back to the present. He gently moved the bubble into Tali's arms, watching how natural she looked holding the child. It was a perfect moment for him and he knew a perfect moment for her, too. She told him about moments like these. They would make their bonding grow, she said, more and more.
His thoughts went back to several nights they had since their bonding ceremony. After they would join they would lay in each other's arms, softly talking. She told him how the bonding would affect them, her mostly, how the need to have a child of their own was very strong in her. How difficult it was for her long ago to accept she could never have a child with him. She couldn't conceal it well, without her mask he could see the pain she was trying to hide.
He had pains, too. Quarian bonding may be stronger, deeper and more complete than human's, but he still had instincts of his own. Millennia of instincts, biology, hormones, primal urge surging through his body. He too wanted to have a child with her. To have her pregnant. To put his hand on her belly and feel his child, their child inside of her was a very powerful feeling for him.
She had brought up in vitro one night. At least that way she could go through the physical motions of the pregnancy and have an easier time dealing with that aspect of the bonding. While the thought of seeing her belly engorged and her body change sent primal urges all through him he could not even consider the idea of having his Tali walk around with someone else's child inside of her. And Quarian surrogacy? There was only one way to do that and there's no way he would let anyone but himself ever join with Tali.
He brought his mind back to the present. He knew Tali was smiling, she had a certain tilt of her head.
Perhaps, he thought, I'm being selfish in this. She has given up so much to be with me, made sacrifices no other Quarian would make. She's done everything she could to make me happy. Maybe I'm looking at in vitro all wrong? Maybe it's a stranger giving us a chance to have our own child?
Tali let out a soft giggle as the child moved its arms and stretched. I'll keep that option open for discussion later. Right now, I have these two to take care of.
John moved his hand to the bubble and lightly stroked it with the back of his fingers. "Tali" he said turning to her, "I'm nervous. All I know about infants are that they sleep, eat and poop."
She giggled and placed her hand on top of his. "You forgot cry and keep you up all night."
He chuckled and looked back at the bubble. "Oh yeah. The crying. Well I am already used to someone keeping me up all night" he said with a sly glance towards her. He then reached his arm around Tali and rubbed her shoulder. "That's a welcome change, though. I'll gladly have a pair of Quarians driving me crazy if that means a quiet home and never having to pick up another heavy weapon again."
Tali looked toward him and placed her free hand on his cheek. "I promise you nothing but endless nights of crazy." He smiled and took her hand from his cheek, flipped it over and kissed the back of it.
She stared into his eyes, as deep as she could go and sighed in relief. "I've waited so long for the fighting to end. Waited for a time when it could just be me and you in our small house on the home world. No damn suit, no damn war. Just us, happily lying in bed all day."
John brought his hand to the back of her helmet and pulled her towards him. He tapped his forehead against her visor. In her suit they kissed this way. And they kissed often. He then looked into her eyes. "I can retire. We have enough to live comfortably. I can get used to being a vas Rannoch." Tali traced a finger along John's hair line. "That'll take some getting used to. The Normandy's been our home for a long time now."
Tali turned her attention to the bubble when the child started turning and cooing. She wiggled her fingers at her and murmured something in Khelish, a smile in her voice. John couldn't help but see that natural, motherly quality Tali had about her from before. The child's been alive for only an hour or so but Tali has quickly filled this role without any hint of doubt. Doubt which he himself holds.
He knew something official had to be done for this adoption. He also knew that if there was any doubt the Flotilla had about them having this child, it would lie with him. He knew that if Tali were denied this child, it would be because of him.
She would still love me and loosing this child to another more capable couple would make her sad for a while, but we'll get over it and adjust, right? This isn't our only chance is it? I know this, right here, will never happen again. If we really do live on Rannoch there will never be another Quarian child born here and I know how much that means to her. We've talked about home worlds and houses and where we're going to live before, but this ship is the only place I've ever heard her call home. To have a little child with nar Normandy at the end of her name…
John reached down and held Tali's hand. "Who do I have to speak to about the adoption? Is that something taken care of by the Admiralty Board?"
She stared at him for a moment, as if she didn't want to answer. " Um…well, it's taken care of by the Conclave." She looked back down to the bubble and began nervously rubbing her fingers against the suit fabric. "We would talk to the clan elder and they would meet with the ship's representative to discuss the adoption ritual." She looked up at John and continued. "Then the representative will request a presence of an adoption board, which is five other conclave members, which I would imagine are permanent for the time being, and then they will meet with both clans and both representatives…"
John stopped Tali for a moment. "Wait, sweetheart. Both clans?"
Tali looked back down to the bubble. "Yes, the clan giving away the child and the clan receiving the child. It's called the Rite of Guardianship. Anyway both clans give a case for the rite for the child and although the rite is one of the oldest and the rituals change over time…"
John grabbed both Tali's shoulders and turned her toward him. He leaned into her and asked her with concern. "Tali, you're rambling. What's wrong?" She was hesitant, but she looked at her lifemate. "John, you're the clan elder. I'm clan Shepard now. You're also our representative to the Conclave."
John held still for a moment in shock. Tali looked toward the bubble and held it closer to her. He saw her hold the bubble tighter and got out of his chair and onto his knees in front of her, holding one hand in hers and the other on the bubble. "Tali, I promise you, I will do whatever it takes to keep this child in our lives. I will memorize all the scrolls; fulfill all the duties of clan elder. I will not let them take her away from you."
Tali leaned forward and caressed his cheek with her hand. She had a soft voice. "John, I trust you more than anybody and I have full faith in you. I love you. And I'll keep on loving you no matter what happens. I just want to enjoy this moment. It doesn't seem real, and I have a small voice in my mind telling me it won't last, but even if it doesn't, it makes me happy knowing that it did for a little while..." She reached behind his head and pulled him closer to hers. She tapped her forehead to his. "That for that little while, both you and I had a small child."
He looked at her with intensity. "Tali, there's no reason why we couldn't have this child. I assure you she will be raised with so much love, devotion and caring. She will know what it means to be Quarian, a contributing member of the fleet. She will know the scrolls, know of the Ancestors. She'll be read all the old stories before she goes to bed…" Tali tilted her head and leaned into him. Her smile grew, remembering all the stories her mother would tell her before she went to sleep.
"She'll know all the customs, all the rituals." John continued, "She'll learn how to dance and she'll have a favorite food paste. She's going to have a first suit ceremony and she's going to go on Pilgrimage." He held her gaze for a moment and drew a deep breath. "And she's going to have the best mother in the galaxy. That I know above all."
His eyes had started to water a little bit. "This child deserves us, and we deserve her."
Tali's eyes had started to water too. She had been prepared to give up the child. Stupid girl, she thought, you know better than to give up so easily. John has fought so hard for you. He's given up so much to be with you, made sacrifices no other human would make, all so he could be with you and make you happy. He's always wanted me to have a little more for myself, that I deserve more than I give myself credit for. He was right when he told me I deserve him, and he's right again. I do deserve this child.
He saw a bright tear streak down her face behind the visor. "John, you really think so?"
He gave her his warmest smile. "Tali, whether the Conclave sees it or not, we are the best parents for her."
Tali looked at him, then to the bubble. "They could still decide to take her away, even if we do deserve her. What do we do then?"
He gave her hand a healthy squeeze. "We do as we've always done. We'll find another way." They both sat still, staring deep into each other's eyes, lost for a moment in them. "And until that day comes, she'll be exactly where she belongs."
He got up and placed his hands on her shoulders. He leaned in and tapped her visor with his forehead. "Does she have to stay here tonight?"
She looked up at him, then around the vacant med bay. "I don't see why she has to."
He leaned in close to the side of her head and kissed her realk, then turned and tapped his forehead against her visor. "I think it's time to take her home." he said as he rubbed her back and stood her up.
As she got up she pointed across the room. "Bring the bag of antibiotics." He turned and grabbed the small bag out of habit. Tali has been fully adapted to him for some time now, but he made it a habit to grab the small med bag whenever he left the med bay. He didn't want to take any risks with her health. Now that they had a little one he didn't know what to be prepared for.
"Oh, also get one of the immuno boosters. You know where my drawer is." she said as she pointed to the far end of the bay. Immuno boosters? He thought, aren't we way past that? He shook the thought and considered his lifemate. She was by far the smarter of them both and it was foolish of him to question her judgment, especially when it came to her immune system.
After he had grabbed the boosters, he stuffed them inside the small bag and looked around for anything else they might need. Tali has slowly started making her way to the med bay door. She stopped and turned to him. "I think you should talk to Zaal'Koris. As head of the civilian fleet he should be able to help you contact the representative of the Conclave's ship." John caught up to her and placed his arm around her waist and led her towards the door. "First thing when we get home. You know, I've grown to like him. And after saving his ass on Rannoch, he does owe me a favor."
He stopped her, took a deep breath and turned to look at her. "I'm still nervous about this. But I know this is right, because it feels right."
She stepped closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. "John" she said, "Whenever I'm around you, everything feels right." She took a step back and looked up at him. "Take us home, hesh'la." John smiled and led her to the med bay door.
When it opened he and Tali both stood in surprise. Lining the walkway to the elevator on both sides stood the crew and the away team. Everyone was quiet and crowding around each other to see John and Tali walk by with the small child.
John felt a small knot in his throat and with a deep breath took a step forward and lead him and Tali slowly down the hall. With each step crewmembers would move their head to see the child and softly speak to the couple. "Congratulations" "She's beautiful" "Good job you two" "She's beautiful, Tali".
John had tried to smile, but was actually trying to force back tears. Why am I crying now? I'm Commander Shepard. Commander Shepard doesn't cry! He turned to look at Tali. He saw her standing tall, a proud smile in her eyes. Is she taking this better than I am?
As they reached halfway to the elevator the away team started to look for the child. "Real pretty you two, congrats." Jacob said. Jack was in the back standing on her toes trying to get a good view. Grunt pushed his way to the front. Tali and John both stopped and looked up at him as he towered over the child. "Bubble not much different than the tank." He beat his arm against his chest. "Only the strongest are born this way!" John couldn't stop it, he knew his face was turning red and his eyes were watering up.
Jack eventually made it through and tilted her head as she looked at the bubble. "Girls are trouble, Shepard. Take care of her you two." John nodded and proceeded to lead Tali to the elevator. Samara stood tall and looked directly at John. "This child is special Commander." Then she slowly let her hand rest on the bubble and closed her eyes. She then opened them and looked to both Tali and John, a little moisture in her eyes. "Cherish her, as I know you will, everyday." John closed his eyes and nodded his head.
Chakwas and Mordin were next. "She's in good hands" Chakwas said with a smile. Mordin waved his Omni tool over the bubble. "Small for Quarian infant, a little under weight, understandable, but a remarkably healthy child. Never thought I'd be able to offer my services as a pediatrician again." Chakwas nudged him with her elbow. "Oh, right. For another time maybe. Congratulations to the both of you."
Joker walked up to them shaking his head "Hey Commander, Tali. I knew you two would make it happen." John smiled and nodded his head. He couldn't utter a word. They slowly made it to the door and the final team members standing there. Miranda approached them next and put her hands on the bubble. "She's perfect. You two are the best thing this child could ever wish for." She moved to the side and left John and Tali to the last two team members.
Garrus and Kasumi stood there, in front of the open elevator. Kasumi walked up to Tali and placed her hand on Tali's arm. "Tali, there are no two people in the galaxy that I know of who will raise this child with more love than you two will." Garrus put his arm onto John's shoulder. "Shepard, the hatchling made it. She's beautiful, healthy and I can't think of two people more deserving than you two to care for her. If you two get any problems from the Flotilla…" he stretched his hand over the crowd that gathered behind them and continued "we're all here to back you up." Garrus and Kasumi moved aside and let Tali and John enter the elevator. John knew he would break down the second the doors closed. How Tali kept her cool he didn't know.
As the doors finally closed John saw Tali's head bow down as she started to sob. He immediately grabbed her other shoulder and held her close to him. She just cried in his arms. After a moment she took a deep breath and then looked up into his eyes. She didn't say anything, just stared.
John smiled, the knot catching in his throat. "Speechless, huh?" He could hear the smile in her soft laugh as she looked down and nodded. She then stopped and looked back up at him, tilting her head slightly. "John?" she said.
"Yes, sweetheart?" He responded.
She took a deep breath. "I know you promised me a house on Rannoch…" she paused, but inched her visor closer to his face and whispered, "but please, keep this our home."
He smiled and tapped his forehead on her visor. "Where ever you two are, that is where my home is. And we will always be vas Normandys".