A/N: OCs and maybe OOC Johnny that I tried not to have...

Sometimes I remember a time when I was happy.

It's always rare to me now, that happiness. A feeling of comfort in my dark, depressing days of shit and blood, sometimes my only comfort as I lay here sinking into delirium. I shut my eyes and then the dream taunts me as for a while it becomes real. I'm okay again without a care in the world, my life going like everyone else's on Earth as I lay in a yard that's doesn't have bodies rotting in the ground. A lawn that hasn't shriveled up and died yet.

One single flower is bent over my head, like it always does and I know that because once I go back to sleep in my paradise I wake up in the shithole that dares copy that same flower. The lily that's obnoxiously a different color every week when it grows back it's head after I cut it off. Then I pet it for a while before executing it again.

"Johnathan? My child? Where are you? Insomnia! Where's Jonathan?! Or where are you for that matter?! INSOMNIA!"

I'm about to tell whoever is screaming inside of my house that I hate being called 'Jonathan', but I hear this voice that makes me sleepy and hungry all at the same time.

"Shhh! Silly boy!" A girl that looks about my age looks down at me, her green eyes seeming so familiar, "Morana will hear us! She is playing the hiding and seek with us, but she does not know it yet!"

It feels kinda...like home? Her thin frame reminds me of myself as dark hair cascades down her shoulders. I like the bright blue she's wearing and the smile she's flashing around. It looks genuine, like I've seen it before. Do I know you?

"Of course you know me, silly Jonathan!" That name. "It is I, Insomnia! Now, come, come! Your mother will come out here to give us the boot, she has already stopped searching."

How fast did she fucking give up? What did she look around for two seconds and give up? And why is she MY mother? She was looking for you, too! Hey! Where are you going? Don't walk away from me!

"So angry! And watch your language, I don't care how old you are! No cursing in my house."

Your house?

"Yes," she turns to me as I see her neck is slender and easily snappable, like a curro as she sighs, "My dragă, what has that monster done to you? Has he truly made you forget me so easily?"

What are you-? Why are you touching my face?! Who told you you c-

"Calm yourself, dragă. I remember that you liked me petting your hair. It always calmed you…I wish that you remembered the same."

I think I do. Sometimes, when I'm in my kitchen it suddenly becomes bright and this lady, I think it's you, she starts petting me like I'm some kind of dog. I snap at her, trying to threaten her with my knives but… she doesn't do anything. She doesn't scream, she just touches my hair and it burns like always. Touching hurts, but I know it's okay because sh-

Is this a trick? Is this dream trying to trick me? Make me think I had any hope of happiness or anything to indicate happiness? BAD, BAD LYING DREAM!

I knock your hand away, but you don't scream like everyone else or try to run or anything. You just stand there, waiting for me like you expected this. Then without a word you kiss me on the forehead, your lips burn but for some reason I'm crying. I miss you, I don't even know you but I miss you and love you all at once.

Then I wake up...knowing that I love you…

So you must be dead.