AN: This is for the Mergana Prompt Party over on Tumblr this week (you can search for the merganapromptparty tag). The prompt was "betrayal" so this is my interpretation. This went a different way than I expected soI hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, or anything really.
Day Three Prompt: Betrayal
She knows she hurt them with her betrayal. She knows it but she doesn't understand. The only person she feels turned on her was Uther, and well, she'd seen that coming from a long way off. It still hurt, but not too much, after all she had her anger to comfort her then.
Morgana couldn't understand true betrayal, because she had never felt the sinking feeling as your friend turned away from everything you'd had with them. Yes, Merlin poisoning her had hurt, but she could understand why he did it. It wasn't because of her, no rather because he saw no other way to defeat Morgause. In his eyes, she was little more than a pawn.
When she learned that it was Gwen sitting on the throne of Camelot, on her throne, well that had stung a bit, but more so because she wasn't on the throne, because she had failed to prevent that wretched girl from taking her birthright.
The way Arthur disavowed her really only served to anger her further. How dare he deny her what was rightfully hers? Didn't he understand that she should be Queen of Camelot, that he should serve her? He really was just a brainless oaf, she concluded.
Morgana thought she understood betrayal.
At least right up until the moment when Merlin ran her through with that damned blade, forged in dragon flame.
Of all her enemies, Merlin always seemed the most harmless—even after she discovered he was really Emrys. She had definitely felt a connection between them before everything went wrong. She had loved him and he had assuredly felt something for her. The look in his eyes as he lowered her to the ground…
Disappointment, hatred, and then an apparent lack of care, all swirled in front of the pain she saw reflected there.
That's when she realized how much betrayal stung, how much she wished to go back and change everything. Merlin, sweet Merlin, who had always argued for the best in everyone, had given up on her.
She had betrayed him, betrayed their friendship and potential love, betrayed herself most of all.
The trees faded from view as she struggled to remain conscious, breathing. She remembered the young woman full of hope and light, who wanted nothing more than to save lives. The young woman who had fallen for a serving boy and hoped to see her maid and best friend become her equal. Morgana had turned against herself, and for what? Morgause? Her hatred of Uther?
Choking for breath she sought out Merlin's gaze, hoping he would understand, would see the remorse in her eyes. I'm sorry, her mind screamed. I didn't want to hurt you, any of you…
"Goodbye Morgana," Merlin stated, voice unwavering and strong despite the anguish she knew he felt. He was watching his best friend die and had just killed someone he had once trusted.
This is what true betrayal felt like, dull pain and regret. She couldn't fix it this time, but oh how she wished she could.
The darkness swept over her and she felt herself drifting away. She held tight to that last image of Merlin. I'm sorry, she just needed him to know.
A voice floated across the emptiness, perhaps she was only dreaming of it, bringing her comfort in her pain: I forgive you, Morgana.
AN: Hope you liked it! Please leave me a review, I like hearing from readers :)