I do not own Life with Derek.
Okay, so this is pretty bad. It'll get better. Promise.
"Jesus, Derek, where have you been?" Casey practically cried out, shifting herself from underneath the blankets. She had fallen asleep on the living room coach for the third time this week. The third time since Derek had left.
"Whoa? Casey? Using the Lord's name in vein?" Derek laughed. "I have to say I'm impressed ...."
"Shut up, Derek -" Casey yawned, stopping herself. "You - you're home?"
"Not for long," he said, and he started to make his way towards the kitchen. Obviously.
"No, no, no, no. I'm not letting you leave!" Casey struggled to stand up, her feet nearly collapsing from under her. Glancing around quickly, she attempted with all her might to find the outline of his body in the darkness.
"Jesus, be quiet!" She heard the refrigerator door shut. "You'll wake up George and Nora."
"Good. Maybe they'll talk some sense into you -"
"They're the ones that suggested I leave in the first place -"
"Der - ek!" Casey exclaimed, and he could only cringe at how blatant and loud she was being.
"Shhh!" He walked out of the kitchen, carton of orange juice in hand.
"You know they didn't mean it that way!"
"Well, it sure sounded like they did." She heard the squish of liquid hitting cardboard.
"Derek .... Just stay home. Please?"
"Uh, no."
"Why not?"
"Because, I'm "nothing but a waste of space and time" and "life would be so much better in this house if Derek just left" and -"
"Der -ek! You heard the wrong part of that conversation! That's not what they met!"
"Well, they got their wish."
"No, they didn't! They want you home!"
"Well, it's been four days, and they obviously aren't making much of an effort."
Casey was silent.
"Exactly," she heard Derek's voice say, a furious tone to it.
Silence.
"I'm taking the Cheetos. You might want to buy more before Edwin freaks."
She could only be still as the sound of the backdoor closing echoed through the downstairs of the Venturi house.