All Kinds of Love/All Kinds of Feelings
I do not own Drake, Josh, or anything related to the show.
All Kinds of Love
Drake Parker has only loved three people in his life. His mother, his little sister, and him. He doesn't want to love him, not in the way he does, it only complicates things. It isn't supposed to be this way; he isn't supposed to feel this way for his best friend, his step-brother, the only person who truly understands him.
In a way he understands this, these feelings, the little flutter in his stomach whenever Josh walks by. But he's Drake and…..Drake doesn't feel this way. He doesn't breathe a little faster at the hand on his shoulder, or wish for the soft, accidental brushing of thighs at the dinner table. He doesn't because……he just doesn't, he can't.
He isn't into guys, really he isn't, but there's something about his step-brother, something that no girl in the world can ever live up to. The naïveté, the need to do good, the cute little way his lip juts out when he's concentrating on his homework, its all so…..something, something that is so unlike Drake in every way.
He doesn't plan on acting on how he feels, no, that would only cause trouble. Josh isn't that way, he seems like it, but he's not. He gets too flustered around girls to be that way, he's inexperienced and nervous, but he likes girls. Drake does too, loves girls, just not in the same way he loves Josh.
"You okay Drake?" Josh asks, looking up from a book, he always seems to be reading those.
"Yeah man, I'm fine." He wonders if Josh knows that there's more hidden behind
his flash of teeth then the arrogance and the confidence that he's always radiating.
"Alrighty then." Josh smiles back, his grin a little lopsided and nerdy, but it's so cute that Drake can't laugh at it, he just can't.
Josh goes back to reading, and Drake strums his fingers lightly over his guitar. He figures that for now, how he feels isn't really all that important. He loves his mother, his little sister, and now Josh, how he loves his brother doesn't matter, all that matters, is that he does.
All Kinds of Feelings
Josh has always had a lot of feelings, but he's never had ones like these. He thinks they're love, and he wants them to be love, simply because…..he's never loved anyone before, and if he has to, he wants it to be him. He wants it to be him so badly that his heart almost hurts, aching and throbbing and wonderfully painful in a way that he's tried to comprehend so many times.
He's scoured books, and he's surfed the web, and he's checked just about every medical textbook he can find. The words are meaningless, the diagrams unhelpful, because all the science in the world can't help him with this problem. The trembling excitement and the pounding in his chest that tell him he definitely feels something more then just simple attraction or teenage infatuation.
Drake makes him sweat, and Drake makes him stutter, and Drake does this all by simply being Drake. The cool and the calm and the teenage heartthrob that is Drake Parker has been causing havoc to his nerves and melting his brain since they day he first laid eyes on the god of everything that makes anything worthwhile.
But Drake doesn't like boys, will never like boys, and if he did, the guy would be far better looking then Josh can ever hope to be. Because Drake has the flashes of teeth that burn a permanent picture on the insides of his eyelids, because Drake has the suave and the sarcasm that he lacks, because Drake is…….Drake is the half he needs to continue functioning in the world. The half that needs him, and the half that he needs back more then any of the many words he knows can express.
"You okay Drake?" He asks, looking up from the book that he's been trying to concentrate on for the last half an hour. He knows Drake's alright, Drake's always alright, but it's an excuse to hear the melodic voice that he loves so dearly.
"Yeah man, I'm fine." Drake smiles at him, perfect and gleaming and white, shining with arrogance and confidence and every adjective that he associates with Drake Parker, his brother, his best friend, and the love of his dreams.
"Alrighty then." He grins back, knowing that it doesn't look anything like Drake's, no where near as perfect or as stunning or as memorable, and he averts his gaze back to his book when he feels his cheeks flush, burning bright and red and hot.
He listens as Drake moves his slender, almost pianist like fingers over his guitar, strumming beautiful note after beautiful note. He may not know much about feelings, or about love, but he knows Drake, and that makes Josh sure that he does love him.