Apocalyptour: The Series
Episode 1
It was a bright, shining morning in Mesoamerica. The StarKids, having moved farther south from where they met Margaret and almost destroyed the world, were all asleep at camp. A calm breeze swept through Mesoamerica. It was almost as if the entire world was at peace. Joey popped his head out of the tent, smelled the air, and completely got up and out. He wandered down to the river and splashed some of the cool water onto his face. Once he was finished washing his face (and then peeing in the river), he looked up at the trees, and started to hum quietly. But then, he heard a rustle coming from the tent, and Joe's head was sticking out.
Joey looked surprised. "Oh, morning, Joe!" he said out of surprise.
"Why, good morning Joey! What are you doing up so early?" Joe inquired as he emerged from the tent. Joey smiled sheepishly.
"Oh, you know, just humming to the trees again." Joey closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his smile widening. "It's such a great day!" He got down on his knees and started to fill his canteen.
"Sure is!" Brian Holden piped up as he poked his head out from the tent. "Mornin', fellas!"
Joey and Joe both waved to Brian as he came over to where they were. "Hey, B-Hole! How'd you sleep?" Joe asked a smirk on his face. Brian rolled his eyes. "Don't call me that. And I had that dream again! You know, the one where we were getting eaten by all those dinosaurs?" Brian shuddered a little. "What a strange dream."
Joey chuckled. "Hey, who knows? Maybe today we'll actually meet a dinosaur! I mean, how cool would that be?" Joe and Brian just stared at him.
"Yeah it'd be cool, but it'd also be really freaky. I don't know about you, Joey," Joe said, gathering up a pile of firewood, "but I'd be pretty creeped out if I started getting chased by a dinosaur." He struck a match and started up a fire.
Brian nodded in agreement as Jaime emerged from the tent, a wide smile on her face. "Morning, campers!" she chirped, smiling.
"Oh, hey Jaime," Joe greeted her. "Do you think we'll meet a dinosaur today?" he asked.
Jaime rolled her eyes. "You boys are silly," she replied. "Dinosaurs are extinct! There's no way we'll meet one." She stuck her finger in her mouth and took it out, putting it to the air to check the wind. "Dinosaur or no dinosaur, it's going to be a lovely day today." Jaime smiled and started to unpack the rations for breakfast.
"Well, I hope so!" Lauren piped up, rolling out of the tent and onto the ground. "We have a big day of temple-exploring ahead of us!" Brian, Joe, and Joey all waved to Lauren. "Morning!" Joe called as he took the canteen from Joey. "Temples? Awesome! Always a good exploration opportunity."
Joey's eyes lit up, all thoughts of dinosaurs forgotten for a moment. "We're doing temples today! Sweet!" He pumped his fist in the air.
Brian rolled his eyes. "Hey Joey, maybe we will meet a dinosaur today. Right after we get chased by some demon monkeys in the temple!" Joey narrowed his eyes and charged towards Brian, fists out. The two scuffled for a moment, but their little catfight was suddenly interrupted.
"Did someone say 'monkey?'" Meredith asked in a singsong voice. She emerged with her baby gorilla, Trinity, clung to her chest. Brian ducked out of Joey's path and walked over to Meredith, a smile on his face. Joey, however, kept running and collided with a large tree. The other StarKids chuckled
"How's she doing?" Brian asked, stroking the baby gorilla's fur. Trinity cooed and made a few little noises, clapping her hands. Meredith smiled a mother's smile.
"She loves it around here! It's a great environment for a baby gorilla to be in."
"Great environment, you say? I can concur with that!" Brian Rosenthal, also known as Professor Brian, emerged, holding Darren by the wrist. "Good morning everyone! I finally got this sleepyhead to wake up."
Darren yawned and rubbed his eyes. "But why'd you get me up so early? Dylan and Margaret are barely up…and I'm still tired!" Professor Brian chuckled.
"Because if I didn't wake you up," Professor Brian gestured towards the tent with his umbrella, "you'd sleep right through breakfast!"
"Breakfast! Oh boy!" Margaret poked his head out of the tent, followed by Dylan. "We're STARVING! What's here to eat?" Dylan nodded. "Yeah, I'm so hungry I could eat a T-Rex!"
Joey smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Eat a T-Rex, huh? Hm…what do you guys think the chances are of running into one on today's expedition?"
Meredith, Professor Brian, Margaret, Darren, and Dylan all shook their heads in unison. Even Trinity tilted her head to the side at Joey's question.
"In all of my years of striking fear into the hearts of the Mesoamerican citizens," Margaret said, shaking his head with his eyes closed, "never ONCE have a seen a dinosaur in the flesh! It's simply illogical!"
Joey hung his head in disappointment. "You guys might not think so," he muttered to himself, walking over to where Joe was boiling water, "but we'll see one today. You'll see. And when we see one, you'll all think twice about calling me crazy!"
"What's that, Joey?" Joe asked, his eyes glued to the fire.
"Oh…nothing…" Joey replied, his arms crossed over his chest. Joe just shrugged and continued to boil the water.
Soon enough, the rations were ready to be eaten, and the water was ready to drink. All of the StarKids sat around the burning fire, munching on their ration and passing around Joey's canteen.
"So, Lo," Joe asked through a mouthful of food, "Where'd you say we're going today?"
Lauren smiled. "We're gonna be heading off west, to a strange old Inca temple. Not many people have explored it thoroughly, but legends say that in this temple lies a great treasure. How cool is that?" The other StarKids all nodded in unison.
"Finding rare treasure would be awesome!" Brian piped up. "What do you guys think it is?"
"I hope its deity rights," muttered Margaret sarcastically, a side glare on his face.
"I for one hope it might be gold coins or just something cool! Not something lame, like the treasure of friendship or something." Dylan added, taking another bite of his ration.
Everyone nodded in agreement, smiles all around.
"Finding gold would be so cool!" Joey said, licking the last bits of food off his fingers. "Almost as cool as finding a real live-"
"T-Rex!" Everyone chorused back in annoyance.
"We get it Joey, you wanna see a dinosaur. It is NOT going to happen." Joe replied. Joey put on a sad face, and Joe got up and put his hand on Joey's shoulder.
"Sorry, old chum," he said, "but it's just not happening."
Soon, all of the StarKids finished their breakfast and were all ready to go exploring. With Joe leading the way, the group set out on their trek west. On and on they traveled, passing hanging vines and caves left and right. Thick plants and tall trees surrounded them, when at last; after an hour of travel, Joe caught a glimpse of a dull glow in the distance.
"Hey…hey guys! I think I see the temple up ahead!" he called back to the other StarKids. Joe started to move ahead, and the rest of the team followed. After another twenty minutes or so of walking, a large golden temple stood before Team StarKid. All of the StarKids looked on in awe, their eyes wide in excitement. Like young children at Christmas, they all scampered at once into the temple to start exploring.
The commotion of all the StarKids charging towards the Incan artifact, however, created a lot of commotion. Enough commotion, to stir a sleeping dinosaur. For there, in that jungle in Mesoamerica, lived the world's last Tyrannosaurus Rex. And this Tyrannosaurus Rex was particularly angry that a bunch of archaeologists were disturbing its' slumber. It silently got up, and moved towards the direction of the sound.
Meanwhile, inside the Incan temple, the StarKids were exploring. Everyone was running around, looking at artifacts.
"Check this out!" Lauren held up a short, round pot; completely ancient. Darren shook his head in disagreement.
"Nah, I got something better." He bent down and grabbed a cup. "See? It's a cup!" Everyone just gave him a confused look.
"I got the best by far!" Joey announced, holding up a small set of what appeared to be pan pipes. "Look at these pipes! I bet I could learn how to play these!" He blew into it, making a loud, obnoxious noise. Everyone else covered their ears. The noise of the pipes, however, was loud enough for the dinosaur to hear them. The great lizard roared in aggravation, a thunderous sound ripping through the air.
"Woah, woah, wait a minute guys. I hear something strange." Brian said, holding up his hand. "Joey, play those pipes again."
"Alright, sure!" Joey said, once again blowing into the pan pipes obnoxiously. The dinosaur started to stomp towards the temple, now furious. Joe could hear the dinosaur's mighty footsteps, and rushed towards the temple's entrance.
"Guys, shhh! Do you hear that?" Joe looked around cautiously as a thunderous sound ripped through the air. The other StarKids were all huddled together in fear. Quietly, Joe peeked out of the temple door. Standing there, some feet away from the large structure, was a T-Rex. Joe quickly ducked back in.
"Uh, guys?" Joe looked at the group and then gestured to the temple door. "We…have a problem. There's a Tyrannosaurus Rex outside!"
Everyone's eyes widened as they gasped in shock, then horror. Immediately, they clung on to one another: Lauren jumped into Dylan's arms, Meredith clung onto Trinity, both Brian and Professor Brian hugged Margaret, and Joey hugged Darren and Jaime out of extreme excitement.
"A T-Rex!" Lauren shouted in shock. "I thought they were extinct!"
"Well apparently not, since there's one stomping around outside!" Joey replied in excitement. He smiled in contentment and shuddered. "Best. Day. Ever!" he whispered to himself. Everyone else rolled their eyes. Jaime glared over to Lauren and Joey angrily.
"SHH!" She tried to hush the conversing StarKids. "If you guys are too loud, the T-Rex might hear you! And then we'll all get eaten alive!"
Joe nodded. "Jaime's right. If we're too loud, the T-Rex could hear us. The most important thing is that we can't make any sudden movements." he whispered. "So everyone, talk in whisper and try to keep still. Who knows what could happen!"
So all of the StarKids released their clinging positions and sat on the floor of the temple. For what seemed like eternities they waited, and waited, and waited. Meanwhile, the T-Rex was just moving about outside, minding its own business. Every so often, one of the members of the group would go on lookout to make sure that the dinosaur wasn't getting too close to the temple.
After a long while of waiting, Brian, who was on watch duty, came back into the temple. He shook his head. "I don't think that dinosaur's going away, guys. But…" He looked back outside to see the T-Rex with its' back to the temple. "I don't quite think our lizard friend is paying much attention to us right now. If we're quiet enough, maybe we can sneak right by him, and get back to camp!"
Joe nodded at Brian's suggestion. "Sounds like a solid plan! Thanks, B-Hole!" Brian smirked in approval as Joe looked out the temple door. "Alright guys, this is what we have to do. We have to be completely silent; no sudden noises. And we have to walk on tiptoe, or the dinosaur might hear us. Think we can do it?"
There were exchanged looks of confusion and worry through the group. "Do you really think you can lead us through this?" asked Darren.
Joe shook his head. "No," he said, a smile on his face, "but I'll try!"
The entire group whispered in unison, "The StarKid motto!"
One by one, each StarKid slipped out of the temple, with Joe leading the way, until there was a completely silent line of ten. Joe looked around, checking on the T-Rex (who was bumbling around, looking for a meal) and how far it was from the temple to camp. On and on they walked, avoiding the dinosaur. But just as they thought that they were headed in the right direction, Joe halted the line in their tracks.
"Aw, shit guys!" he yelled angrily. "We're going the wrong way! We have to go towards the dinosaur, not away from it!" Joe growled in annoyance as he turned the line around. They continued to walk, and walk, trying not to make a sound or a sudden movement. But at that precise moment, right when the StarKids were passing by the large lizard, the T-Rex turned around, looked down, and saw the line of people. To him, they were his next meal, and the dinosaur roared.
"H-hey J-Joe?" Lauren asked, grabbing onto his arm. "W-what do w-we d-do now?"
Joe's eyes were wide, and his mouth was slightly open as he stared in fear. After a minute or so he came to his senses and turned towards Lauren, practically screaming in her face.
"RUN FOR IT!"
All of the StarKids started to run as fast as they could. The T-Rex tore after them, stomping and roaring angrily. Every so often one would look back, only to see that the giant, seemingly extinct lizard was still behind them, and still furious.
"Man, this isn't as awesome as I thought it would be!" Joey complained. "This isn't a cool dinosaur. This is a mean dinosaur!" The others shot him a look of annoyance.
So the StarKids continued to run and somehow were able to outrun the dinosaur, but not by much. Professor Brian pointed to a cave in the distance being covered by some plants.
"Look!" He shouted, "A cave! We can hide in there!"
So the entire team scrambled for the cave, and slid through the entrance. The T-Rex completely stopped in its' tracks, and looked around confused. Huddled together, the StarKids looked up at the befuddled lizard in amazement and fear. However, the dinosaur stayed outside, as if it were waiting for them to come back out.
"Whew," Joe breathed in relief. "Great job, team!" He and the others started to high-five one another. The dinosaur outside was standing with its back to the cave. It had given up on trying finding the little humans who had disappeared from its sight. Quietly, Joe moved towards the plants covering the mouth of the cave and motioned for the other StarKids to follow him.
"Now remember, guys," He whispered as they stood in the leaves and plants, attempting to escape. "No sudden movements and keep the volume to a whisper!"
So the StarKids all stood together in a huddle, watching the dinosaur and waiting for one person to make a move, as Joe was busy plotting their escape. But it just so happened that, among the plants covering the entrance, there was one with particularly broad leaves. And the tip of that broad-leafed plant was in Jaime's face, tickling her nose.
"Ah…aah…" The urge to sneeze built up in Jaime as the plant continued to tickle her nose. Lauren's eyes widened and she covered Jaime's nose and mouth with her hands.
"No Jaime, don't!" Lauren whispered fearfully. "The dinosaur will hear you!" Slowly, Lauren took her hands off of Jaime's face. Jaime nodded and smiled, feeling the tickle go away. But as soon as it left, it came back, and Jaime sneezed.
"Aaahtshooo!"
Another thunderous roar ripped through the air, as the dinosaur's tail twitched, hearing the sudden noise. The angry beast turned around, fury burning in its' eyes.
"Good going, Jaime." Darren whispered in aggravation. Jaime shot him back a look of annoyance.
The T-Rex immediately charged towards the group of hiding StarKids. In turn, they began to run away from the dinosaur once more.
"I can't believe the dinosaur heard you sneeze! That is such a cliché!" Margaret complained as they ran.
Jaime rolled her eyes and growled back. "Can we please focus on the issue at hand! We gotta figure out how to get rid of the dinosaur!"
Joe looked around, baffled. How were they going to kill the dinosaur, or at the very least, stop it from chasing them? There was nothing on the ground, nothing in the trees…and then he saw the vines in the distance. And suddenly, Joe had an idea.
"Guys, I know how we can stop the dinosaur! But you all have to follow my lead, alright?" Joe looked back at Dylan as they continued to run. "Now, Dylan, I need your serrated blade, and I need it fast!" he shouted.
Dylan felt around on his belt. "Uh…I think I must have lost it again. What are we going to do!" he yelled back.
"Oh, don't worry!" Lauren piped up, pulling out her serrated blade. "You can use mine, Joe!" She threw the knife over, and Joe swiftly caught it in his hand.
"Alright now, let's see here…" He ran ahead of the group, advancing towards the vines. The rest of the StarKids were still some paces behind him, still being pursued by the angry T-Rex. Joe stood for a moment, contemplating which vine to chop down, when he heard Joey yelling to him.
"Act fast! He's gaining on us!" The dinosaur snarled and started to snap its' powerful jaws.
Joe nodded back at Joey and jumped, climbing up the vine. He reached the top of it, sliced it down and jumped, landing on his butt. He quickly got up, grabbed the vine, and tossed it towards the group.
"Brian! Meredith! Catch!" Brian caught the vine, fumbled with it, and then recovered it. "Okay," Joe yelled, "now run over here and stretch it out!" Brian and Meredith both ran to where Joe was and assumed their position. Joe jumped up and climbed another vine; one longer than the vine he cut. In a Tarzan-like fashion, he swung from the vine and screamed. "OHHHHAAAHHHOOOOHHHH!"
Joe landed hard on the head of the T-Rex. The dinosaur flailed its' head wildly, growling angrily and chomping its' teeth. The force of the dinosaur's head-flailing was enough to knock Joe off, down on his back. Joe staggered to his feet and grabbed his trusty rope off his arm. He started to run again towards the dinosaur, and threw the rope. The rope looped once around the T-Rex's body, with a loose part hanging off the side. Joe grabbed it and ran around the T-Rex, wrapping it up. The T-Rex became tied up by the rope, and as it struggled to get free, it walked right into the vine that Brian and Meredith were holding. All the StarKids scrambled out of the way as the great beast fell to the ground, roaring angrily and flailing its' head and legs.
The dinosaur roared and snarled in rage, bound by the vines. It thrashed around, but to no avail.
Joe brushed his hands off in contentment and turned towards the group of frightened StarKids. "Well guys, we did it! We defeated the dinosaur!" The entire StarKid team started to high-five one another once more.
"So, does this mean that the dinosaur won't bother us again?" Joey asked, a hopeful glow in his eyes. Joe put a hand on his shoulder and smiled.
"Hopefully not, old chum. Hopefully not." He replied. "Now, what do you say we all go back to camp?" All the StarKids nodded eagerly as they headed off, leaving the writhing wrapped up dinosaur behind.
But into the night, as the dinosaur struggled to get out of its' rope trap, it managed to wriggle around enough to get into a sitting position. And once the dinosaur was sitting, it chomped through the ropes, letting them fall into the dirt. The dinosaur rose to its' feet, and let out a powerful roar of triumph, and started to stomp off.