Title: from pink to sea foam
Summary: She's always held on too tightly; Isabella, discovering.
Rating: T
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Isabella, IsabellaxPhineas, Mentions of: IsabellaxOC, IsabellaxFerb
She's seventeen and grinning, her books spread out all over her desk; ignored as she talks on the phone. She's painting her toenails a sparking pink color and she thinks that she's probably really cliché, being in love with this amazingly ordinary boy, her best friend outside of the Fireside Girls. He's talking about the things he and Ferb have planned for this summer, reveling in the fact that school's almost over, even though he's brilliant at it.
"A week, Izzy," he says, and even though it's the middle of the night, she can feel the sun.
...
The night following the last day of school, they catch fireflies. They all do. It starts out as the five of them; but Candace and Jeremy join; and then there are people coming from all over, joining in their little dance. She grabs his hand, digging her fingernails into his palm. She's always held on too tightly. (Holding onto him means holding onto childhood and adulthood and everything in between. It means creativity; adventure. She needs that. She's had if for so long that she can't live without it.)
...
They go to Paris again.
They normally try not to repeat projects, but they're staying a while this time, so it's different.
She hums 'City of Love' under her breath, but it's drowned out by the sounds of the world around her. Buford says something about a Kanye West song, and when he tries to rap, they all dissolve into giggles. Baljeet reprimands him for being inappropriate about a minute later, and Buford shoves the smaller boy.
People are staring and Buford stops singing. She stops laughing and this place is filled with nostalgia, and she thinks Phineas is even more beautiful this time around, but she's not serenading him. Not today.
Ferb understands how she's feeling because he has the memories, too, but they're not very good at consoling each other, even though they know what people do in hotel rooms when their friends are out. She thinks she'd kiss him, but his hair is the wrong Christmas color and he's the wrong brother and whenever she pecks his cheek as she leaves, he always tastes of salt. It's weird, having someone else's tears land on your lips.
She goes back down to the cafe.
Phineas grins upon seeing her, breathing a sigh of relief.
"I was worried about you," he says, and the little girl inside her squeals, but then he looks worried again.
"Do you know where Ferb is?"
"He's just freshening up," she answers. She knows he'll show up in a minute, anyway, so the lie doesn't really matter.
Somehow, she still feels guilty.
...
The summer passes in a flash of projects and parties and friendship, and then they're throwing marshmallows at each other across the bonfire. She holds his hand again, and he doesn't complain when her nails dig in deeper than usual.
...
Then they're seniors, the year stretching ahead of them in a seemingly endless path. She wishes they could stat like this, because in a year, everyone will leave and she knows she'll
miss them too much. She thinks her heart might burst into millions of little pieces.
...
She's in love with her dress. It's gorgeous, she thinks; one of the ones that's short in the front and long in the back; and her hair is done up great. She feels pretty. She's never been an insecure one, always blabbing about being cute, and tonight, it shows. She can't even believe it's prom time already, but it is, and it's wonderful.
She dances with her troop girls for a bit, grooving along to the popular songs with catchy beats that they'll forget in a few months. But then the slow songs come on, and they slide off the floor.
She watches Buford and Baljeet as they do some strange tango, and smiling, goes over to Phineas and Ferb who are awkwardly drinking punch.
"You guys want to dance?" she asks, trying to keep calm.
Ferb winks at her and walks away, probably to go call Vanessa.
Phineas holds out his hand "It's not exactly a fast song, but I'll try, then."
She laughs as they twirl, and she feels like she could fly, she's spinning so much. Phineas, of course, isn't dizzy. He's always been good at dancing, even if he's never measured up to his stepbrother's skills.
The music slows down even more, and they awkwardly slow dance. The world doesn't stop around them and he doesn't confess his undying love for her and they don't make out in the middle of the dance floor, but it's nice.
...
They graduate and it doesn't happen then, either.
For the first time, summer is bittersweet, and it needs to be the best of the best of all the summers they've had together.
They ditch the graduation parties and have one of their own.
They carry lanterns outside, tearing up pieces of paper to throw inside them, writing their wishes and dreams and memories on them; watching them float into the darkness.
She focuses on the stars as the lanterns drift away, laying down in the grass and not caring for once in her high school career- well, she's not a highschooler anymore, right?-if she stains her white shirt.
One by one, they all fall down next to her, and she takes his hand again.
"Izzy, you're hurting my palm," he says his smile more radiant than even the brightest star.
"Oh, sorry," she blushes, and she thinks he should be used to it.
"No, it's fine."
He digs back.
...
The summer is perfect.
They recreate some of their old projects and build some new ones. She sings with him a lot, because she can, and they've almost reached their breaking point.
On his birthday, she and Candace lick ice cream cones underneath the big tree.
"Candace, how did you tell Jeremy you loved him," she asks.
The red headed girl blushes, giggling awkwardly... "That's private...kinda. But we were dating by then." She has a wistful look on her face. "But if you're talking about my brother, you better tell him soon."
Phineas comes out from inside the house and seems to find the need to tackle her on the grass and she's singing "she will be loved" and telling him to get off and he's so close and-
She can't pluck up the courage, but she swears she can hear his heart beating.
...
The day before he leaves-and it's not her last day, because she's staying in Danville, settling down, studying to become a teacher- she figures she'll tell him. She doesn't, but she leans in and kisses him, just for a second. When she pulls away, the look on his face is so strange she wants to take everything back.
-But then he's hugging her so tight she can't even breathe, and inviting her to come on an adventure with him, one more time.
But she's got college and plans and he's got a plane to catch and they don't work out then.
...
She goes to the local college, and she still talks to Phineas on the phone, but they don't move beyond friendship. She meets a boy called Trent in her English class-it's a required credit- and they click. He has red hair and freckles and a last name that could be a first name-Hunter. He's a writer and he likes tea and the smell of the books that take over the majority of the space in his dorm room, and her. He writes her stories, and she admires his creativity, though in the back of her mind, she can't help but compare him to Phineas. Trent's sense of adventure is reading her poetry about travels around the world, and it's so much different than actually being there, to her at least. But this is what she wanted, she reminds herself. She needed to settle down, and this is her life now.
When she holds Trent's hand, he comments on her loose grip.
...
She goes to wait for him one day, and Trent stumbles in with a history major attached to his lips. She stares at him for a second and isn't even that surprised when her heart doesn't break. And then she's running out of there, ignoring Trent's protests. She gets in a cab; ends up in another state; bumps into Buford and Baljeet in a cafe.
They say they have an apartment. Buford's playing football for a university and Baljeet's in medical school, which he loves. Phineas and Ferb are next door, and they think that maybe she should come visit.
She agrees to, calling her mom from the cafe so she won't worry, and traipses off to buy a few things that she'll need.
...
That evening, she's sitting on Baljeet's bed, wearing a cardigan of his-she'd forgotten to bring clothes, earlier, and Baljeet's always been tiny- and staring out the window at the stars. She hears a knock on the door, and a familiar voice.
"Baljeet?" Phineas asks, opening the door. His mouth drops open when he sees her. "Isabella, what are you doing here?"
"It's a long story," she giggles, somehow finding a way to be happy through all the numbness of the day.
He says he has time, but she whispers that it doesn't matter.
...
The end of the year nears again, and this summer, it's going to be different. She's painting her nails again when it happens; this time a swirly blue-green color; she thinks maybe it's sea foam. It reminds her ofthe ocean. She doesn't notice the car pull in across the street, even though she would be able to see it from the window if she had been looking. But she's not, and he comes into her room, and suddenly her hand is being squeezed. She feels the familiar feeling of butterflies taking over her stomach, and surrounded by childhold, lays her head on his shoulder. They watch old movies, and somehow, fall together.
Maybe it's forever, or maybe for a few years or months or weeks or even days, but it's so amazing in that moment that it doesn't even matter.