A lone owl soared over the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The owl pushed the air down with its powerful wings and rose higher into the air. The sun was just rising and it cast orange rays over Black lake. The owl tucked its wings and swopped down to the surface of the water before pulling its wings open quickly, just skimming the surface. The bird untucked its feet and let the water brush over razor sharp talons. When it reached the edge of the lake the owl lifted itself a hundred feet up with only a few powerful strokes of its wings. Hogwarts castle was slowly coming alive as the students and professor's stirred awake. The elves in the kitchen began cooking breakfast and the plants in the greenhouses opened to except the light of a new day. The owl spotted a black blob moving from the castle, following the path to the green house.
Potions master, Severus Snape was always the first of the Hogwarts staff to rise. He enjoyed the silence of the morning before the sun rose and the day began. He woke early and sat in his chambers with a book and a cup of black tea until the sun came over the horizon. At the first beam of light to come through his bedroom window, Severus would rise and dress himself. He would move out of the castle quickly before any students could flood out of their dorms. Every morning was the same routine and he enjoyed his melancholy existence. Severus followed the path from the castle to the greenhouse where he tended to his personal plants and collected samples for the day ahead. The man always had a sour look on his face to keep away unwanted attention from insolent students and his fellow co-workers. Today his face was extra pinched due to something the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had said the night before at dinner. The new Professor had been a thorn in Severus's side since the start of term, two weeks ago. While Severus trusted Headmaster Dumbledore with his life he was convinced the old man had had a lapse of sanity when he hired Remus Lupin. The man was a bloody werewolf for crying out loud!
Severus huffed out a puff of hot air and used his wand to unlock the green house door. The frustrated man shoved into the green house and not-so-gently shut the door behind him. He moved to the back of the green house where his plants sat under an open window. A cool fall breeze flowed through the open window, making the hanging pots sway. Severus knelt down and withdrew a pair of sheers from the pocket of his black robe. He was working on carefully trimming the vines of a devil's snare when a noise above him made him jump slightly. The devil's snare lashed out and stung his hand as a result of him miscutting when he jumped. Severus grunted in pain at the sting and looked up to the window to see a large eagle owl sitting on the sill. He scowled at the bird and the bird clicked its tongue at him as if it were laughing at his misfortune. The owl shifted from foot to foot and cawed at Severus.
"Get out of here!" He growled, standing and shooing the owl. The owl screeched and fluttered its wings. Severus stepped over his plants and pushed the window shut in the birds face. The owl gave the window a sharp peek before flying away.
"Vermin" Severus growled and went back to work.
The owl landed in a tree not far away and watched the rude man through the window. It shook its head and puffed up its chest feathers in anger. The owl glared at the man with hatred.
Severus finished up his work on the plants and put the samples he had gathered into the pocket of his robe. He glanced out the window to see the owl from before perched in a tree not far from the green house. Was the thing glaring at him? It was probably some Gryffindor's bird, Severus decided. He made his way out of the greenhouse and made his way back to the castle without any more incidents with the bird. Back in his chambers Severus laid out his samples to dry then headed up to the Great Hall for breakfast.
"Good morning Severus" Minerva McGonagall greeted him. The man gave a curt nod and took his seat, begrudgingly, between her and Remus Lupin. Severus ate plain grey porridge and sipped black coffee for breakfast; the same as always. The drone of the student body picked at his brain making his eyes close tightly in irritation. The sound of a hundred flapping wings brought him out of his mind and he watched as owls flooded into the great hall, delivering the students mail. The owls caused a great deal of noise as they chirped and flapped at the air with their strong wings. Severus rolled his eyes at the cheers of the first years. A noise down the staff table made him raise his head. The exact eagle owl from the green house had landed in front of the Head Master. Albus greeted the owl with a warm smile and a pat on the head. The owl had a letter in its mouth, which it dropped onto Albus's empty plate. Lupin suddenly gasped when spotted the owl.
"Is that…" Lupin started but was cut off.
"Yes, it is" Albus said quickly, nodding his head. The owl turned its head to look at Lupin and it made a soft clicking noise. The large bird then turned and met Severus's eyes. The bird chest puffed up and it made a low raspy noise at him. Severus frowned and looked back down at his food. The owl took off from the table and followed the rest of the owls back out of the Great Hall.
"Is that your bird, Albus?" Severus asked. The Head Master chuckled, a twinkle in his eye.
"That is no one's bird" He said "It doesn't seem to fond of you"
"The retched thing came after me while I was in the greenhouse this morning" Severus explained. Lupin snorted and Severus eyed the man with distaste. He pushed away from the table and stood quickly.
"Oh Severus, please meet me in my office during before dinner today" Albus said. Severus nodded before sweeping out of the Great Hall with a flurry of his black robe.
The day was the same as always and Severus was grateful for that. The dungeons were always a place where he was comfortable and they were always a perfect temperature for him as he was accustomed to dressing in layers. Severus was cleaning his classroom when a knock of the door was heard. The man sighed heavily before sweeping over to the door. Remus Lupin was on the other side with his hands casually shoved in the pockets of his slacks. Severus had only seen the adult Lupin wearing a robe when he was forced to. The man preferred muggle clothes and would often wore slacks and a blazer over a button down shirt. Severus pursed his lips and nodded for Lupin to enter his classroom. Before term started Albus had asked Severus to brew Wolfs Bane for Lupin and he had agreed despite his hatred for the man. Lupin sat on a desk near the front of the classroom while Severus fetched the potion. Despite the full moon being a week away Remus could already feel the tired, achy feeling it brought. He hadn't slept well the night before and nausea prevented him from eating much that day so it would be accurate to describe him as an exhausted wreck. Severus returned with the Wolfs Bane and handed it over without meeting Lupin's eyes.
"Thank you" Remus said before turning and taking his leave. Severus watched the door swing closed behind the werewolf then returned to his cleaning. He was organizing the classes potions cabinet when he glanced at the clock and noticed it was a half-hour before dinner and he needed to be in Albus's office. Severus locked his classroom behind him with his wand as he left and swept up and dungeon stairs. He made to the office in a timely manner and spoke the password to the gargoyle guarding the stairs. The statue slid out of the way and he climbed the stairs quickly. Before he could knock on the door Albus's called for him to enter.
"You wanted to speak with me" Severus said and sat in a chair in front of the elder man's desk. Albus smiled warmly at the potions master as he stood from his seat behind the desk. He moved slowly to the closest window and pushed it open and gave a sharp whistle. Severus heard a rustle of wings and the eagle owl from that morning flew through the window and landed on Albus's desk. Severus curled his lip in a sneer at the sight of the bird. The owl batted its wings and hissed at him.
"Albus what is the meaning of this meeting? If your trying to give me this owl I will have to decline?" Severus said, standing and moving behind his chair as the owl stomped its feet and growled. Albus chuckled and shook his head.
"No, Severus but there is something I must ask of you" He said, his voice holding the serious tone he usually used with Severus.
"And that is?" Severus asked, arching a dark brow.
"I would like you to develop an animagus form" Albus explained. "It would be valuable for the order to have more animagi members"
Severus furrowed his brows at the ridicules request. "That would take years"
"Not if you had a versed animagi to teach you" Albus said with a glint in his eye that made Severus frown. The owl on the desk clicked its tongue and bobbed its head. It suddenly dawned on Severus.
"The owl" He said, shock evident in his voice "I didn't sense it as anything more than an owl"
"That's because she is the best animagi I have ever known" Albus explained.
"She?" Severus drawled. The owl jumped onto the floor and its body began shifting and growing. In a long second the owl changed into a nude woman before his eyes.
"I expect you have met Holly Potter" Albus said, chuckling at the horror in Severus's eyes. Severus pulled his robe off quickly and tossed it to the woman. Holly flashed him a smile that made his temple throb. She brushed her blonde locks out of her face and pulled on the offered robe. Holly slowly did up the robes clasps while holding Severus's eyes as if she was daring him to look at her bare body.
"You were dead" Severus growled at her. Holly chewed her lip and nodded.
"I was" She agreed "But, not really. I'm surprised you didn't recognize my owl"
"Holly Potter was proclaimed dead after the raid on Lily and James Potters home" Albus said solemnly "It was for her safety"
"After my brother and Lily were killed I offered to take Harry in but Albus told me he would be safer with Lily's muggle sister. I agreed and went into hiding because death eaters were hunting me thinking I had Harry" Holly said, a deep frown on her plump lips. "I'm an unregistered animagi so they didn't know to look for me as an owl"
"I attended your funeral! So many people thought you dead" Severus seethed.
"I might have well have been" She countered "I lost everything! James was the only family I had and Lily was practically my sister. I lost Sirius for a crime I never thought of him possible! Remus ran away and Peter was killed. You and I weren't on speaking terms when it all happened so it wasn't like I could go to you with my sorrows" Tears pooled in her baby blue eyes and her hands were balled into tight fists.
"This is an atrocious mess" Severus groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you" Holly whispered "I couldn't trust the man you were when everything fell apart"
"And what sort of man was that!" Severus shouted, rounding on her. "I would never have betrayed you, but you can never trust a death eater"
Holly flinched, you can never trust a death eater, it was the last thing she said to him nearly fourteen years prior.
"I'm sorry Severus" She whispered "Coming back was a mistake"
Albus had a deep frown on his face, this hadn't gone how he had wanted.
"It was a mistake bringing her here and you want her to teach me after all this?" Severus asked Albus.
"What has happened cannot be changed but the future has room for improvement" Albus said.
"What do you say, Snape? Can you be man enough to put this shit show behind us?" Holly asked with a frown on her face.
Severus narrowed his eye's at the woman. His heart ached from the old wound that was being pealed open and he didn't want to forgive her for the hell her 'death' had put him through. The two had been together behind James Potters back and when she was gone his heart broke. He mourned her and had felt guilty because he had picked a fight with her the last time they spoke. "Holly Potter was alive" The words were like a slap in Severus's face. The sight of the blonde wrapped in his robe made his heart clench tightly. She was exactly as he remembered her and Severus hated her perfect face. Yes, he had once lusted after her and they had something far beyond friendship at one time. Despite his love of Lily Evans, he had seen Holly Potter in the same light. She had been his little slice of comfort during his school years. On the surface she was James Potters bold little sister and the saucy girlfriend of Sirius Black but under the surface she was shy and in need of constant reassurance of her worth. In secret she made friends with Severus and they gave each other what they couldn't find in others. Holly didn't judge and Severus found asylum with her. They spent nights in the shed on the quidditch pitch simply talking and smoking cigarettes together. Holly would pet his hair and tell him about what she wanted to do after she finished school and rant about her relationship problems with Sirius. Holly would steal from her brother's secret liquor stash and they got drunk for the first time together. Holly was Severus's first kiss and she had let him touch her in intimate ways under the stars the night after she officially broke it off with Black. After that she was his Holly doll and he was her Sev for an entire blissful year. Near the end of that year together he had joined the death eaters and Holly became repulsed by him. He promised that no harm would ever come to her or her family but, you can never trust a death eater.
The sight of her now stirred something long dormant in him.
"So what do you say?" Holly asked, her baby blues full of hope.
"Fine" Severus said simply.
"Good" Albus said. The old man stood and placed a comforting hand on Holly's shoulder. Albus pulled his pocket watch out and tutted at the time "We've missed dinner"
"It's that late?" Holly asked, a frown creasing her brow.
"No matter I can have something brought up from the kitchen for us" Albus offered.
"I'm fine Albus" Holly said "I had a big lunch in Hogsmeade today"
"I've lost my appetite" Severus drawled.
Albus nodded in understanding. "Now Mrs. Potter I wasn't expecting you to get in until tomorrow evening so the house elves haven't finished arranging your room" He said.
Holly chewed on her lip in thought. "Remus is here so I'll just bunk with him for the night if that's fine by you Albus?" she suggested.
"I suppose that would work" Albus said with a nod of his head.
Lupin! Severus felt the vein in his temple strain. Jealousy bubbled below the surface but Severus did his best to ignore it.
"So I'm guessing my trunk hasn't arrived yet" Holly said. She pursed her lips and held Severus's robe tighter around her bare body.
"Unfortunately no, but rounding up something for you shouldn't be too hard" Albus said.
"It's alright, Remus won't mind if I borrow something. I used to do that all the time when we were students" Holly giggled. "Remus is practically my brother anyway"
"Whatever suits you dear" Albus said, a smile on his lips. "Severus, please take Mrs. Potter to Mr. Lupin's quarters"
Severus nodded, not meeting Albus's eyes.
"Can we meet again in the morning to discuss my schedule with Severus?" Holly asked.
"Of course, before first period should work" Albus said with a nod. "I'll have a house elf bring up your trunk to Mr. Lupin's room when it arrives tomorrow"
"Thank you very much Albus" Holly said, laying a gentle hand on Albus's arm "I can't wait to catch up with all my old teachers"
"Only Minerva and Remus knows you are alive so there may be an explanation due" Albus explained.
"Well who doesn't like a surprise" Holly said around a coy smile. "Good evening Albus"
She looked expectantly at Severus and he lead her out the door. They made their way down the stairs and Holly watched as the gargoyle slid back into place, guarding the stairs.
"I've always found that gargoyle thing pretty cool" Holly admitted. Severus ignored her and led the way down the hall. One of his heart strings was plucked pleasantly at the sight of her scurrying to keep up with his long strides. When they were together during their student years he would playfully tease her about her height, well lack of. Holly glared at him when she noticed he was walking fast on purpose.
"I see you're still a tall asshole" She muttered only loud enough for him to hear. A smirk curved the sides if his mouth. A bell rang overhead and the sound of students leaving dinner flooded the hall. Prefects were heard groups of first years Holly and Severus's direction.
"They're so cute" Holly gasped at the sight of the timid first years. Another one of Severus's heart strings were plucked as a memory from their summer together surfaced.
Holly and Severus lay in the field behind his childhood home. Holly wore a blue sundress that was ridding up her summer tanned thighs. Severus wore a white button down and black slacks. Holly lay partially on him, one hand playing with the buttons of his shirt and the other holding Severus's. She got his top button undone and her warm fingers brushed over his collar bone.
"What do you think about children?" She asked out of nowhere. Severus tucked his chin to look at her. Holly's baby blue's stared up at him expectantly.
"Isn't it a little early to think about children" Severus asked, his voice wavering with a hint of nerves.
"Do you not want kids?" She asked, a frown on her pouty lips.
"That's not what I meant" He stuttered out "I just thought since we had only been romantically involved for a few months now it was too soon to consider such a thing"
"Romantically involved?" She giggled.
"You know what I mean" He said, pulling her closer to him.
"I know but I've loved you longer than that" Holly said. Severus had a genuine smile on his pale face. She loved him.
"I love you Holly" He said, the sentiment still foreign on his tongue. "If you want children than you will get them"
"I don't want just any children" She sighed against his chest "I want your children Severus Snape"
A group of students came rushing they're way and Severus quickly grabbed ahold of Holly's arm, pulling her out of the student's way.
"Mind your step" Severus growled, making the students ducked their heads in fear.
"You have quite the grip" Holly commentated with a smirk. Severus quickly let go of her arm and took longer steps to put distance between them.
They arrived at Remus Lupin's quarters and Holly knocked hard of the door. The door cracked slightly and Remus peeked an eye out.
"Holly" He shouted and the door flew open. Remus picked her up off her feet and swung her around in his arms. Severus scowled and took a step away from them, nearly being hit by Holly's swinging feet.
"It's only been a couple months" Holly laughed. Remus set her down and held her at arm's length to get a good look at her.
"You've lost weight" Remus frowned. He held a hand to her check, which she leaned into. Severus felt a fresh layer of hatred growing in his soul for the werewolf. He felt foolish for being angry. Holly wasn't his anymore, that had ended nearly fourteen years ago. But, the sight of her made him regret every horrible thing he had called her. Severus took a look at her face and could see what Lupin was referring to. Holly Potter was chubby checks and padded hips. She had always been beautiful in the way a grown woman is. Her eyes were sharp but 'cute' and her lips were permanently pouty plump. She had always had a bit of a tummy that she hated but it was compensated with strong arms and calves. Holly Potter was made entirely of soft curves and contours; and Severus had adored every one of them. At the moment her face looked finer and her usually healthy glow was dull.
"I've been traveling a lot to get here" Holly said "Flying takes a lot of strength" She emphasized the point by lifted the sleeve of the robe and showing off a toned bicep.
"Nothing a couple good meals and deserts can't fix" Remus joked. His eye's looked over Holly's blonde head and his smile fell when he shall Severus watching them.
"Severus" He said with a curt nod.
"Lupin" Severus drawled.
"Alright, let me in Remus" Holly said, pushing the werewolf out of the way of the door. "It's drafty in nothing but a robe"
"Where did you get that robe? You're practically swimming in the thing" Remus asked.
Holly flashed a smile at Severus "Snape let me borrow it. I'm going to need to borrow something for the night Remus, my trunk hasn't arrived"
"Yeah, of course. That's fine" Remus said with a nod.
"Alright, Severus wait here while I throw something on. I don't want to steal your robe" Holly said. She ducked into Remus's room, closing the door behind her and they could hear stuff being moved around.
"Your room's a mess Lupin" Her voice said from behind the door.
Remus and Severus avoided each other's eyes as they waited, the air thick with an uncomfortable silence. The door swung open and Holly stepped out in a men's night shirt. The shirt fell to her knees and bagged off one shoulder.
"Here you go Severus" She said, passing him his folded robe "Thank you for letting me borrow it"
"Well it would be highly inappropriate for you to walk the halls in the nude" Severus said, plainly. Holly blushed and nodded her head.
"Well good night Severus" She said. Remus muttered a 'night' and moved past Holly to get into his room. Holly listened and heard the bed squeak, indicating Remus had sat down. She pushed the door shut until it was just cracked, before taking a step into Severus's space and hugged him. Severus was shocked and hesitantly placed his arms around her shoulders.
"I missed you Sev" She whispered into his chest. Severus remained stunned silent. "I'm sorry for hiding from you. I want our friendship back"
"I've…. missed you as well" Severus muttered, hesitantly. She pulled back and looked up at him.
"You've changed a lot" She said, raising a hand to his face "You look different than I remember you. Your eye's are harder and you have frown lines"
"I aged" He snarked.
"Not much" She said softly "I'll see you tomorrow Sev"
Holly took her hand away from his face and Severus immediately wanted it back. He wanted to press a kiss to her blonde looks and tell her he still loved her but he didn't. He stepped away and muttered a 'good night' before sweeping down the hall and going back to the dungeon. Holly watched him stride away with a heavy feeling in her heart. She should be angry at him but all she wanted to do was run after him like a love struck school girl. Love, she thought to herself. She still loved him after all those years. He was her first love after all. First real boyfriend, first kiss, first lover. At one point Severus Snape had been everything Holly Potter had every wanted.
"Holly" Called Remus's voice, pulling her out of her mind.
"Comin'" She called back.
She pulled the door open and stepped into the room. She shut it behind her and Remus took up his wand and put a ward on the door.
"Where's your wand?" He asked.
"In my trunk, I'm good enough without it to defend myself" Holly said with a shrug.
Remus frowned at her "I wish you would carry it more"
"Yeah, because an owl carrying a wand would be totally inconspicuous" She snorted.
Remus pursed him lips and shut up knowing he wouldn't win this argument. Holly stepped up to him where he sat on the edge of the bed. She undid his tie, feeling his eyes on her face.
"Go get cleaned up so we can go to bed. I'm exhausted" Holly ordered.
Remus rose from the bed and moved soundlessly to the bathroom. Holly watched the bathroom door until she heard the shower turn on. Holly sighed and moved in front of the fire place. She used the poker to arrange the wood before snapping her fingers, making a fire come to life. She picked up all of Remus's shoes and stacked them in the corner. All the dirty clothes went into the hamper and the clean ones were hung in the armoire. Holly heard the shower turn off and quickly gathered up a fresh pair of briefs and a clean night shirt. She knocked on the bathroom door and it cracked open. Steam poured out, warming Holly's face. She offered the clothes to Remus, which he took gratefully.
He kept the door cracked while he pulled the clothes on. Holly kept herself from snickering at a flash of a pale ass in the mirrors reflection. Remus pushed the door open when he was dressed. Holly washed her face will Remus shaved and he and he would bump her hip purposely every now and then making her laugh and knock his hip back. He brushed his teeth then passed the toothbrush to her. When the two were finished they climbed into bed side by side. Remus extinguished the lights with a wave of his wand.
"Holly" He said through the dark.
"Remus" She said back, copying his plain tone.
"Have you heard anything from Sirius" He asked.
Holly's stomach clenched with nerves. She laid a hand on her belly and screwed her eyes shut. "No"
"You know how he got out don't you?" Remus asked, shifting on his hip to face her.
"That mangy mutt was always good at getting out of tight spots" Holly joked half-heartedly.
"He's coming here" Remus said. The words made Holly's skin crawl.
"I don't know what you want me to say" Holly whispered.
"Just promise me you won't hate me for anything I do regarding him" Remus said.
Holly turned on her side to look him in the eyes, the reflection from the fire place dancing in her baby blue's. "I could never hate you Remus"
"Promise me you won't get involved with him" He asked of her.
"I can't promise you that" Holly said.
Remus sighed and closed his eyes, exasperated. "Will you tell him the truth?" He asked.
"He has a right to know about his child" Holly said, her eye's getting misty. Her hand went beneath her night shirt and caressed the puckered C-section scar that stretched from hip to hip.
"I'll be there when you tell him" Remus promised. He pulled Holly against his body and she turned into his warmth, clutching Remus's arm.
"Goodnight Holly" He whispered into her hair.
"Goodnight Remus" came her mummer against his chest.
Hours later in the dungeons Severus Snape lay under his covers unable to sleep. He threw the sheets back and stalked across the cold stone floor to where the robe Holly had borrowed lay on his desk. Severus balled his hands in the fabric and lifted it to his nose. He felt ashamed of his actions but all that quickly flew out the window when the scent of Holly Potter flooded his senses. He could smell her floral scent mingled perfectly with his own on the robe. She always smelled like spring, Severus thought; Like wild flowers on a warm breeze. He brought the robe back to bed with him and crawled back under the warm blankets. The robe was folded and laid across his pillow. He was a shameful man for wanting a woman that wasn't his to want. He was sure of the fact the two of them would have wed if he hadn't joined the death eaters. They would have bought a big house together and had a whole quidditch team worth of beautiful children. They would have been happy and content no matter the struggles life tossed their way. It would have been magnificent. Severus's heart ached at the thought of what could have been. He turned onto his side and took a whiff of the robe one last time before falling asleep.