Prologue
It was raining, how ironic. Never mind that, so this is Gotham city. It looks...broken. How beautiful, how magnificent! I love it already, so to start on my...plan? What is my plan? Hmmm how 'bout I—nah too easy. But anyways I need to get all the important somebodies attention which does happen to include the one and only Bruce Wayne. Cue jazz hands, ha I crack myself up, I could always do something the Joker would do and crash one of their VIP parties. No because I'm not gonna kill anyone yet. Gods! Not killing anyone really put a damper on my games, I pouted a few minutes in till my legs started to fall asleep I sighed and decided instead of looking for a place to "sleep" that I just sat down crisscross applesauce style.
I hummed the special lullaby, oh the sweet childhood memories not. My good hearing picked up on footsteps about...six...people. Ugh what do they want, I can't imagine that its any good. Hey maybe if I don't acknowledge them they'll go away. The footsteps came closer and closer I soon heard some chattering. I didn't pay attention I don't need to hear their petty gossip or about who they're gonna rape or rob next. They finally came into the alleyway I'm in, I still didn't turn my head away from the sky the starless night. The only view was the pitch blackness that had mixture of deep indigo and the waning moon. Ah such beauty, even though its raining cats and dogs here and the alleyway smelled like cat piss, rust, and vomit. I was content, I needed my strength no matter what I do I need my strength right, right? The loss of footsteps and talking indicated that they saw me, ah bugger.
I suddenly heard a velvety drawl from behind me "Well, well, lookie what we have here boys" is that? No it couldn't be, could it? Oh this is too good thank my lucky star ha ha ha hee ho ha. He came closer he stopped just right behind me I could feel his heat radiating off him like a big toasty oven. Ha! I wonder if he tastes yummy like the gingerbread man, ha ha ha well I'll test my theory out later I mean come on. Who wouldn't wanna, he might taste good you'll never know. And before you ask no, I am not a cannibal...I think. I can't be sure... "So doll face, why is it that you are all alone" I rolled my eyes men could be so predictable, even criminals. "Hey I'm talking to you, look at me"! I still didn't look at him. I mean why should I, he didn't ask nicely. "I said LOOK. AT. ME! Is it because the scars"? Blah, why does the Joker always assume that its because of his scars can someone say 'insecure'. I decided to humor him "No because number 1 I haven't seen your face yet so how would I know what you look like and number 2 you really need anger management classes; you do not raise your voice to a lady under any circumstances". I heard his maniacal laugh ringing in my ears even after he stopped. Wait why did he stop? Just right after I thought this he grabbed my hair bashed it in on the brick building can I yell 'ow'. Instead of crying or or getting knocked out and becoming a damsel in distress. I got up fixed my hair well more like put the mess of curls out of my face and sat in the same position I was in, before he so rudely hit my head.
I once again heard his musical laughter, oh sweet baby Jesus! "Ooh, feisty I like" I finally looked at him and raised an eyebrow, is he serious? He seriously said one the cliché-est line in the book, oh gods I think I'm gonna scream or laugh, ha oh well. Hey maybe I can beat him up, yeah he should see how 'normal' people don't like getting beaten on. Nah too lazy. I sighed and closed my eyes trying to relax myself so I won't go bat shit crazy. I heard some mutterings but I didn't pay too much attention to it. Well at least I didn't in till the Joker yanked my hair again but instead of hitting my head again, he yanked me up and pulled my face closer to his and he got a switch blade to my mouth, oh boy what can he possible want I thought with sarcasm. "I uh like yooou, you havve spunk I looove thatt" he said with sexy drawl of his. I rolled my eyes, who doesn't like spunk? He pulled my hair a little more harder "Don't you evar roll your eyes at me la-ady" I smiled a big mischievous smile "Why so serious" I whispered. His eyes flashed and he laughed his crazy-as-fuck laugh. I cracked a smile and leaned into him some more I whispered in his ear "The only sensible way to live in this world is without any rules" I quoted from the movies-yes I know in a alternate universe that there is a movie about Batman and the Joker.
I leaned back and watched his eyes widen a fraction and a grin a stretched over his face that made his scars stretch in pain, I almost flinched at that thought. Almost. "Is that soo" he asked in a amused tone I just nodded my head and rested my head on the crook of his neck. I felt him stiffen at my actions but quickly relaxed. I smiled at the idea. His knife moved slowly to my neck and he nicked a little bit and felt a cool liquid slid down my neck and onto my clothes, he is so paying for my dry cleaning. I sighed in content when he nicked it once more, like it was relaxing that he was cutting my throat, brings back old memories eh? He laughed when I did this and he turned me around and grabbed my chin so I was looking at him straight in the eyes. His sweet dark golden brown eyes, I love those eyes; they have a spark in them that not most have and you could also see that he has seen a lot, more than most actually. "Who are you" he asked in a way like he was talking to himself. "No the real question is who are you"? I replied smirking slightly.
"I am the Joker of course" his eyes went up when he said 'Joker' and his lips became more pouty my gods no person should have that sexy of lips!
"Are you, are you really the 'Joker' "?
He looked confused at what I was saying. "What do you mean 'am I really the Joker'? Of course I am, who else would I be"? He started looking mad oh poor baby gonna scweam.
"Uh I don't know maybe hmm maybe Jack"! I whispered so his 'goons' wouldn't hear. His eyes widened and he pulled my hair super hard and put the knife at its original spot: my mouth. I tasted the metallic rust of my blood that was on the blade. "How do yoou know that"?
"Know what" I mocked he lightly cut into my mouth enough for it to bleed a little not much though. Instead of whimpering or caving in and telling him what he wants, I started laughing. A crazy laugh at that, that was full of bitter memories and painful experiences. All in all I think it is was a beautiful laugh. I continued laughing watching the Joker going from surprise to angry to humor, which made me laughing even more. I mean his eyes are open book; his sexy-as-fuck mind-blowing eyes. "I uh like yoou" He said in a sultry way, he pulled me even more closer and pressed his lips to mine, roughly. I let him in instantly our tongues fighting for dominance, he pushed me against the wall his hard member rubbing against my core making me wet, he won over dominance. I started to groan in pleasure. I had to stop before this got out of hand, he began kissing my neck ohh my. I smiled wickedly I put my hands on his chest (very muscular chest) and shoved him away from me, I fixed my shirt and moved my messy hair away from my face, smiling sweetly at him. "Sorry hun, but I am not going to fuck you in an alley way nor am I going to fuck you in front of your lackeys and besides I. DO. NOT. FUCK." I growled not even raising voice but just in a commanding way.
He looked very angry but he composed himself and put on a his famous Glasgow smile good boy. " Tell me then, tell me why don't you uh fuuck"? Gods his voice!
"Because a lady never 'fucks', she simply makes love love" I stated calmly.
"Whats the uh difference"?
I gave him the 'what the fuck' look and chuckled dryly " The difference is that 'fucking' is having sexual intercourse with whomever you may please; its meaningless, just a way to relieve your sexual urges nothing more nothing less. While 'making love' is having sexual intercourse with someone whom you are in love with; it means more its when you share your bodies with one another, you are sharing your passion for each other. It beautiful, its raw, and its sensual and sexual in thee most possible way ever". I spoke the words in a way like it was the exact definition but also with just as much emotion. He looked at me in wonder. His smile widened even more if that was possible.
"Aand what is youur name Missy"?
I smiled innocently and shook my head that said 'I'm not going to tell you' I sauntered back over to him and looked at him through my eyelashes. His eyes glazed over from lust, gotcha ya! "I like I said, I like you, that just saved-ah your life. Oh and by the way you are uh cooming with mee-ah"! He was about to grab my waist and probably kidnap me like he just said he would but I ducked around and punched one of the nearer 'goons' in the nose I heard the satisfaction of his nose crunch; it was definitely broken, I whirled around and kicked another 'goon' in his stomach he doubled over in pain I ran around the Joker before he could even catch me. I kicked yet another 'goon' and tripped off his feet, I slipped out of the alley and marveled at the scene. Three 'goons' were in moaning in pain on the ground, the two 'goons' that I didn't hit were trying to help them up and the Joker was staring at me in wonder, awe, and lust. I took one more look and winked at him and blew that Popsicle stand.
I think I'm going love it here in Gotham, I mean what could go wrong? With the Joker and Batman entertaining I think I'm going to have a ball...