So, this story just came to me after seeing "Beyond the Lights" and that is a powerful movie. I never thought I would enjoy it actually because it sent such a powerful message to who are feeling they've been controlled their whole lives. Like...I really can't explain the message, you just have to see it in order to understand. Anyway, this will be a powerful story. And yes, this story is based off the song "Blackbird" by Nina Simone who has a strong but full of pain voice that just speaks to me. I suggest if you want to know more about this story, listen to that song.
~Warnings~
Yes, this story will be dark and cruel.
Yes, this story will have romance.
Yes, this story will have language.
Yes, this story is in Another Universe or AU for short.
Yes, this story is a Shattered Glass version.
Yes, Jazz will be on the Decepticon side.
The story is "M" (FAIR WARNING) (Yes there is Sex in later chapters)
I do not own Transformers, just Patrica.
I hope you enjoy.
{1}
April 12th, 9:41 PM, Australia. 1994.
Patrica, 6 years old.
Talent Show.
"Patrica Mevalone. Please, step up." The judge called my name through the speakers.
I gulped nervously as my mother pushed me forward to be in the spotlight of the stage. I look back to her to see if it was okay and she nodded. Taking in my mothers approval, I walk towards the microphone and shakily, my hands wrap around it. I was nervous. I was scared. What if I don't succeed? Will mother be mad at me? I can't stop asking these questions. The nervousness was taking over me. I can't stand these people looking at me. Focus, Patrica. You can do this. Prove mother is wrong about you. Prove that you're not a loser. Prove that you're a winner. Prove it to everyone. My inner voice told me and I took it to my heart. My confidence grew. Sure my nervousness was still there, but my inner voice was right.
I need to prove her wrong.
"Ms. Mevalone, what will you be singing for us today?" The judge asked me through his microphone. It wasn't the same one who called me up here. But. I need to answer.
"Blackbird." I found my voice, along with a shaky breath went into the microphone but I quickly stop it.
"By Nina Simone, I presume?" The judge asked me again. Why so many questions?
"Yes, sir." I replied. My heart speeds up, I could hear it thumping in my chest. I felt like it was going to burst any minute.
"Well then, sing it for us. Would you?" He asked again. I hate questions.
"Of course..." I shakily replied and squeezed my eyes shut. You can do this, Patrica. Don't worry about mother. Worry about how you're going to blow them away. You know you have a beautiful voice. Find it and use it. Don't shut yourself out. Don't hold yourself down. That'll get you no where in life. Show them you have the key to the thing always wanted. A life. My inner voice was right. Reopening my eyes, and I let the lyrics come to my brain. My mouth opens and I let it flow out.
"Why you wanna fly...Blackbird?" I sang deeply. My heart continuing to thump.
"You ain't never gonna fly." I sang. My hands tighten around the microphone.
"No place big enough for holding all of the tears you're gonna cry." I sang deeply. My toes curl in my flats.
"'Cause your mama's name was "Lonely" and your daddy's name was "Pain"" I sang. My eyes close to cover my tears.
"And they call you little sorrow 'cause you'll never love again." I sang deeply. My voice on the edge of breaking.
"So why you wanna fly...Blackbird?" I sang. My eyes reopening.
"You ain't never gonna fly." I sang deeply. My hands loosening their tight grip.
"You ain't got no one to hold you, you ain't got no one to care." I sang with deep emotion. My eyes close again.
"If you'd understand dear nobody wants you anywhere." I sang loud with my emotion. My heart started to sink. I shakily inhale.
"So why you wanna fly...Blackbird?" I sang, not as loud but my emotion still there. My eyes reopen and soften.
"You ain't never gonna...fly." I finished softly and quietly. The crowd was quiet before I heard a roar of clapping and cheering. They liked me! They liked me! Oh my god! A smile goes to my face, going to ear to ear. This actually happened. My nervousness vanished as I felt happy and ecstatic. Happy and ecstatic! The judges were quietly clapping along, two of them smiling at me proudly. Then something hit me.
Is mother feeling the same?
I look back at her with my smile. She looked disappointed. My smile dropped to the floor and my heart stopped thumping with happiness and sank with sadness. I disappointed her. She didn't approve my performance. My head hanged low as I slowly went away from the microphone and go towards my mother. Trailing each step, each breath with sadness. Now I was feeling scared. What did I do wrong? Was my confidence not good enough for her? Was I too bland and off-key? What did I do wrong? I just want to shout to her. Saying that I did something right for once! Why can't I find my voice?! My voice needed to be heard! God damn it! My voice was stuck in my throat. It was stuck there because it was afraid to speak up. And I really needed to find it.
Once there, my mother harshly grabbed me by the arm and dragged me off-stage, the roaring of approval, happiness, proud echoed away. Once we were gone, she let go of my arm and glowered above me.
"The hell were you thinking to use that song?!" She demanded rudely. "You know how emotional you get when you use that song! What. The. Hell. Patrica?!" She demanded again. I couldn't speak. My hands were curled up into fists and my eyes were shut. My toes curled. I couldn't speak. I was weak.
"Answer me, brat!" She ordered, screaming at me. Suddenly pain hit me on my right cheek and I was on the floor. My body filled with shock and fear. My hand slowly went to feel it and it was warm there. She slapped me...my mother slapped me. I don't believe it. Then, immediately, anger brew into me. SHE SLAPPED ME! SHE ABUSED ME WITH WORDS AND HER HANDS! I HATE HER! How can I forgive her now...? I am done with her. Done.I stood back up and hanged my head low. Why can't I show my strength?! I needed to show my strength to her! But I can't...the fear of her clouded my brain. The sheer power from her illuminated around her like a red glow. I felt like I could see it. I felt like I could feel her power creeping over to me. Causing me to feel more fear.
I was actually weak.
My voice was trapped with the fear and just became a lump in my throat, sitting there like a rock. Tears stream down my face as my lip quivered. My whole body shook with fear and sadness and because I was crying. Suddenly, I felt arms around me. For a minute it took me to realize who it was...mother. She hugged me tightly and whispered soothingly, "I'm sorry baby...my...my anger covered my brain. I didn't mean what I said. What you sang was truly beautiful." Why should I believe her now? She hates me. And I still feel that sheer power illuminating around her. I was still afraid.
From this moment on, I won't call her my mother. I'll call her just by her name. Olivia.
May 20th, 7:20 AM, Mountain View, CA. 2015.
Patrica, 27 years old.
Home.
I heard my phone vibrate. Same with my alarm going off. I groan and rolled to the other side of my bed to shut the damn thing off and thankfully I do. Grumbling, I look up at the ceiling and mumble to myself, "I need to get up..." So, living up to my word I swing my legs to my edge of my bed and stretch out my arms. Standing on the shiny light brown wooden floor I look at my nightstand where my phone was and I picked it up. Turning it on, I unlock the screen with the pin number 8-9-1-5 and my messages show 3 messages. Frowning slightly as I opened it up and there said my boyfriend, texted me. 3 times in a row. What the hell?
Xavier: Hey babe, u awake yet? (Sent at 4:12 AM)
Xavier: Babe, talk to me. (Sent at 5:23 AM)
Xavier: RESPOND ALREADY! (Sent at 7: 20 AM)
I sighed and texted back to him.
Patrica: I'm sorry, hon. I was sleeping. And why the hell are you doing up at 4 AM? I send it and look at my bathroom, walking towards it, I open the door open and turn on the light. Right in the reflection of my mirror, stood me. Tanned skin, pale blue eyes, long wavy black hair, diamond shape face with full lips. My height 5'7. Many guys would call me the perfect girl. Just by my looks. I don't care what I look like. But, at least I am successful. By that, I mean I work with Google. Yep. You heard correctly. Honestly since I've been working so hard, I'm so glad that I have a day off and I intend to spend my day with Xavier. My phone vibrates and I look down at it. Xavier. Opening up the messages, I read what he said.
Xavier: Partying all night long. Hey babe, want to meet up at Starbucks? I'll buy your favorite. ;)
Patrica: Thanks. I'll go ahead and get ready. I can't wait to spend time with you. :)
Xavier: Oh man...I forgot to tell u. I have a meeting today to sell my album. I promise that I will spend time with u. How about...Tuesday? I can't believe him...he said Thursday not Saturday!
Patrica: I'm having a meeting on that day! This is my first day off since October!
Xavier: :'( I'm sorry babe. I'll make it up to u.
Patrica: No, I'm sick of hearing your fucking excuses! You're hiding something from me!
Xavier: What're you talking about, babe?
Patrica: Stop playing dumb and tell me what the hell you're hiding!
Xavier: I'm not hiding anything from u! Believe me!
Patrica: Then why can't you spend time with me, jerkwad! You said you had this meeting on Thursday! Not Saturday! I know I got him because he wasn't typing back. Then in a few minutes he texted back.
Xavier: I was going to tell u later on this day but I guess this will be a good time. U know your friend, Jessica? Well...we kinda had sex last night. It didn't mean anything I swear! I was going to tell her that what happened didn't mean a thing. My anger brewed up.
Patrica: Alright asshole. We're fucking through. I had enough of you fucking around! You fucked my best friend! Give me the best damn explanation for that shit!? NO, don't even try. I'm done with you. I exited out of the messages for him and started to type in for Jessica.
Patrica: Hey, bitch. I can't believe you fucking betrayed me! You slept with my BOYFRIEND!
Jessica: WHAT?!
Patrica: Don't play dumb, bitch. We're no longer fucking friends!
I started to block my EX boyfriend and my EX best friend. I swear, I can't believe this happened to me. My singing career was a dump. My boyfriend was a dump. My best friend was a dump. My life was a dump. I was trash that was just to be tossed around like a volleyball. What's next? Am I going to be fired? This was the only thing I had good left. Damn everything else. Damn everyone else. I guess I'm truly alone in this world.
It fucking sucks.
May 20th, 7:20 AM, Nevada.
Jazz.
The Decepticon base.
Transformers Universe.
"That slagger doesn't deserve to be part of us! He's a loyal member of the Autobots!"
"Throw him into the slagheap!"
"Let me put him in the brig!"
"Feed him to the cyberwolves!"
"Let me scrap him!"
"ENOUGH!" A familiar booming voice roars above the rest. Quietness quickly comes into play and I look around the room. Every Decepticon glaring at me with their piercing blue optics. I swear it felt like they were stabbing me with their optics. Like they felt like they could read my antics. Which was switching sides but some of these 'Cons believe I was a spy. Like they were right? Megatron looked at me and started to inspect me. I crossed my arms and let my weight down on my left leg and looked right back.
Finally he speaks, "Jazz. Why do you want to join the Decepticons?"
"'Cuz tha damn Prime ways 're annoyin' and I don't follow 'im." I responded.
"Is that so? But you're considered to be the most loyal to him. Why change your CPU?" He asked again.
"I jus' answered it for ya, Megatron." I replied.
"Liar!"
"Just fraggging kill him already!"
"Skywarp, Thundercracker, OUT!" Megatron ordered them and they growled before they obediently walked out of the command center. His gaze goes back on me.
"Jazz, you're willingly to go through facing your brothers when we fight them?" The 'Con leader asked me.
"Ya I am. Time to show them who's gonna win this slaggin' war." I say with slight determination.
He nods in approval, "Then welcome to the Decepticons, Jazz." And his servo stuck out for a shake. I looked at it and slightly froze. Optimus never did this with any of the new recruits but then again, he's an afthole. Not really caring if he gets new recruits or not. My servo reached out to shake his, grasping his servo, we shook our servos. Pulling mine away, I crossed my arms again.
"Rumble. Would you show our new recruit his quarters?" Megatron asked the smaller Decepticon.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. C'mon newbie. Follow me." Rumble mumbled and gestured for me to follow him. And I did. Thankfully we didn't start a conversation because honestly I had nothing to say to the small Decepticon.
"Here it is..." Rumble mumbled and points at the quarters that was silver with light blue linings on the door. I can dig it. Walking inside, it was relatively big. Bigger than my last quarters that's for sure. I look around and nodded at the results. Going towards the berth, I sat down and by Primus it was comfortable! Softer and not to mention cleaner than the Autobot berths. And I'm glad that I switched sides.
May 20th, 4:34 PM, Mountain View, CA.
Patrica.
The Park.
I sipped on my sweet green tea from Starbucks, taking in the tasteful tea with pleasure almost. I love their green tea. I was sitting on the bench and was just causally relaxing, glad that I broke up with Xavier. Now Jessica and him can be happy together. God, I fucking hate them. They have no right to just do that to me. I mean, who do they think they are? Betraying me is one of the worse things you can ever do to a person. Especially cheating on them with you with your best friend. It just boggles my mind how they were able to hide it from me. I mean, I'm one of the most observant person you'll ever meet. I can tell if someone is talking behind my back. Which I hate that because that just shows they're a coward in disguise for not even confronting me. I also can tell which people are the most dramatic, annoying, and full of shit.
Like liars.
Huh. I wonder when I'm actually going to meet the one person who will change everything for me. The person who will change my perspective of the world forever. The person who will mean the world to me. The person who will love me who I am and the past I had. Oh God, I sound like my younger self. The self that would squeal in joy at anything that would mean to meet my Prince Charming like in Cinderella. The happily ever after. The best wedding. Hell even the best sex! Xavier was a little affectionate but it always me that had to arouse him instead of pleasuring me first. I would take back having sex with him if I gotten the chance. Yeah, I said it. Plus, Xavier's penis was small. I wanted to snicker at the first sight of it. But since I wanted to "do it" with him, I didn't mind. But if you ask me, he thrusts very slowly and doesn't give what someone would call it, "pleasurable sex."
Okay, I'm done talking about sex.
Suddenly, my phone vibrates and I rolled my eyes behind my aviators. I bet it's Xavier. Picking up the phone, I look at it and it was an unknown message. Frowning in concern, I unlock the phone and read what it said.
Unknown: Patrica Trysh Mevalone.
Patrica: Who is this?
Unknown: Not important. You. Important.
Patrica: Okay asshole, I'm not in a mood for pranking.
Unknown: Prank this is not.
Patrica: Stop speaking like that. And how do you know my number and full name?
Unknown: You. Are the one who changes it all.
Patrica: Changes what?
Unknown: No time to explain. Prepare yourself.
Patrica: For what?
Unknown: This. My whole body goes limp as I fall to the ground, spilling my green tea on the concrete ground and the last thing I remember was people shouting, "CALL 9-1-1!"
And I'm ending it there folks. I hope you enjoyed this! If you have any sort of questions or concerns please do tell me through the PM or reviews so I can answer it! Anyway...I'll see you later!
Please tell me if I did good or not!
Phoenix Cenetre out!