There And Back Again
Summary:- How I imagine Season Six to end. Features Jack's, Kate's and Sawyer's points of view, in that order. Ok, I imagine this ending isn't ideal for all but I hope you enjoy it anyway.
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It's time for the final crossing, the final journey that will either make us or break us. We can either use the past to our advantage, or ignore it entirely. When the bomb went off, things didn't go as expected. Ok, we did end up in the past but it cost us each other. Me, Hurley and Miles were somewhere completely unexpected, trekking through the wilderness for the good part of a year. Sawyer and Kate had remained on the island, in other time period altogether.
When we had eventually found each other, I could see that some of our years needed to be erased to help us move on. We located the rest of the hydrogen bomb and, God knows how, we blew it up. Every ounce of misery, every accursed deed was wiped clean. Gone. I didn't account for the power of memory.
When the white flash had withdrew, we found herself on the plane again, in the right places. I was with a drink in my hand, Kate with handcuffs on and Sawyer was sitting back, wishing he was somewhere else instead. I never ask what happened during that long year apart. Do I really need to? I was surprised when I was able to recount every single event that happened on the island. Judging by Sawyer's nod of recognition and Kate's smile, they do too. Well, that's unexpected.
"Not all of it was misery." "Enough of it was" Does she even know that I wish I could take back those words? I wish I could but it's too late. No, it's never too late. If she wasn't with the Marshal, I'd go over there now and kiss her, just to let her know I still love her. I always have.
In my hands, I hold a copy of Lord of The Rings. Why, you ask? Because it reminds me so much of my own journey that I've taken. I've loved, lost, bled, healed and most of all, I've changed. Will I even recognise myself once I step off this plane? Where will I go? I've already decided to quit my job, to move some other place that isn't tainted with memories and to try and forget.
Looking around the plane, I see every single person who I've lost. Charlie's hands are shaking, his jewellery rattling against the chair but, unlike me, he doesn't remember. Why would he? His memories stop short at getting on the plane. Maybe that's the price you have to pay when you die. You forget. I see Claire as well and, though she was never dead, she's forgotten too. Her eyes meet Charlie's and...nothing. No connection, no recognition, nothing. It's sad but something we have to deal with. Ana, Libby, Eko, Boone and Shannon are there too. I smile when a few of them return my glance and some of them return my smile. Ana waves because she remembers me from the airport. Not the island, though.
I sigh as the plane starts to land. It's kind of sad how disappointed I feel that the plane has landed. After all this time, I miss the person I was on the island. Things have changed and maybe it's a good thing. I buckle my seatbelt and watch the runway come into view. The way it was always meant to.
My eyes flicker to Kate and she smiles wearily at me. The Marshal questions her and he meets my gaze. Nodding coldly, he turns back to his fugitive and tells her to look away. I didn't miss the look of sadness in her eyes, as if she can't believe she's back at the start. Guilt trickles down my back like cold water but I can't help it. What's done, is done. The plane lands smoothly on the ground and I shut my eyes, envisioning myself lying on the jungle floor until I can hear the engines have completely stopped.
"Hey doc," Sawyer is sitting beside me, causing me to jump in alarm. "You still remember?"
"Yes, yes I do." I reply wearily, staring at him. "Is it just me or could this have been the biggest mistake we ever made."
"You made," Sawyer corrects me, his face still haunted. It's been that way since Juliet's demise. "You always said live together, die alone but from the moment that geek Faraday said there was a way for you to play hero again, you took it. You were on your own after that. Even Kate didn't want you to do it, I could see it in her eyes." His cheeks tighten and his eyes narrow. I know he blames me for her death and I can never atone for it. Having said that, he doesn't hate me. But he can never forgive me.
"Why are you here, Sawyer?" I ask, not placing any bitterness into my tone. We had a cordial friendship, once, which is now reduced to an estranged relationship. Part of me is bothered about that, part of me isn't.
"I guess I wanted to say hey," Sawyer admits, though his eyes scan me suspiciously. "I guess I ain't gonna see you again so..." he holds out a hand and I take it, stunned by his last action. It stuns me that I am not going to see him again and I actually did like the guy, in all honesty. I clasp my hand on his firmly, stand up and embrace him like we were brothers. Sawyer is shocked but he returns the gesture and then we depart. We're in LAX. Home sweet home.
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When the plane's wheels touched the ground, I close my eyes for old times sake. When I peek, I see Jack is doing the same thing. Edward, the marshal, thinks I'm praying for a light sentence but he doesn't know. I've seen everyone I care about and only Jack, Sawyer and Hurley remember.
"Time to go poppet," Edward mutters and he drags me to my feet. I'm tired of running and it's the resignation in my face that surprises him. Yes, runaway Kate Austen is sick of running. She wants to be with the man she loves but she can't. I'm pushed out of the plane, into a special car and away I go. Is this the end of my story? Jail?
Fate had a different plan for me. A week later, I receive an invite to Jack's father's funeral which surprises me, as well as Edward. He demands to know who he is but it would take too long to explain. I'm awaiting sentence and have received bail out so, technically, I'm free to go. He's not happy though and insists on going with me. Fair enough, I can't blame him really. The actually day is horrible, clouds dark and murky and rain tipping down. When Jack sees me, I can't help but smile and race into his embrace. Then he whispers, "Make an excuse and meet me around the back in twenty minutes."
Confusion is the dominant emotion but I play along. The actual funeral service is beautiful and Jack's eyes fill with emotion, speaking about his father like I've never known him to. I can't help but admire the beautiful flowers along the sides of the coffin. I've never liked churches. They are creepy and haunting.
Twenty minutes passes, Jack gives me a meaningful look and I know it's time. I tell Edward I need to go the toilet and, surprisingly, he lets me go. Maybe he thinks I've given up running for good. I hope so. Stepping outside, I'm shocked to find a pair of lips are pressing against mine and I don't think, I react. I hold Jack and kiss him like I've never kissed him before. He's mine. He opens his car door and I settle into the front door.
"I love you." He remarks as he kicks the car into gear. I tell him I love him too and we drive on, not looking back at all. It took me a little while but I've finally found where I belong. I don't care if we run forever, it won't feel like running when I'm with Jack.
Along the road, Jack asks me the question I've been waiting to hear for a long time. "What happened? When the first bomb detonated?"
I smile, enjoying being secretive. "Me and Sawyer said goodbye. We made our peace and decided to find our own happy endings." He knows there's more to it than that but that's another story for another day. Maybe one day we'll catch up with the others; Charlie, Claire, Sayid, Boone. For now, we take life each day as it comes and hope that the mystery has gone out of our lives for good. Starting over has never seemed so beautiful.
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When I spoke to Jack, I may have been quick to judge him. When the guy embraced me, it made me think. About who I was, who I am and who I want to be. The only woman who truly loved me on the level that I wanted is gone. Not dead anymore but she's on the island. I'm alone.
Of course, life can always surprise you. I wandered through LAX airport, occasionally spotting the odd face I recognised. I clog up with emotion as I wander through the airport alone and, for the first time in a while, I cry. I miss her so much and maybe the reason why I love her so much is because she's everything I want and more.
I grab my luggage and prepare to leave, not sure what kind of life I'm going back to. Conning's no longer my game so the first thing I have to do is find a job. Maybe as a businessman? Nah. I could always visit my grandpa but he lost respect for me the day I became the other Sawyer. Now, I'm just James. Not Sawyer, not LaFleur but James. The man with emotion, the man who loves and the man who has changed.
As soon as I step into arrivals, I see several blonde haired woman and the pain hits me again. I meander through the crowd carefully and step outside. The rain is starting to fall and I allow the drops to absorb the tears. Then a very familiar voice calls my name.
"Hey, James." It's her. It's Juliet. I turn around and my heart drops. She stands there, holding a bunch of buttercup yellow flowers in her hand and wearing the most beautiful smile in the world. Without hesitation, I run up to her and kiss her. She moans slightly and pressed her hips against mine. I sweep her off her feet and swirl her around and around, both of us laughing as the rain increases.
"How come you're here and not-?" I choke up, not daring to mention the accursed piece of land we had been living on for so long.
"Remember I said we weren't supposed to be together?" She smiles. I wince at the memory but nod. "Guess I was wrong." I stare at her in amazement and then kiss her again. Then again. Again and again until I can no longer breathe.
We turn to stare at the other passengers filing out of the airport like a line of busy ants. First, a struggling Claire comes out, carrying a huge suitcase. A chivalrous Charlie comes to her rescue and she smiles gratefully at him. They stare at each other for a moment then start talking as if they've known each other for years. Next, Boone and Shannon come out, arguing so much that they don't notice a piece of luggage has fallen off their cart. Unsurprisingly, Sayid picks it up. Sun and Jin file out, followed by Hurley and then Kate. She looks around, catches my eye and smiles softly. I nod back and Juliet waves.
Jack is last to come out and he stares at us as though he had been blind. He grins and waves and I watch the passengers of Oceanic 815 disappear into the sunset with a feeling of sadness, or perhaps nostalgia is a better word. Juliet locks her arms around my waists and leads me to a cab. I take one last look before getting in and allowing my destiny to pull me to whatever end.
We went there and back again, to the depths and beyond. Perhaps our tale may be published as a movie or a TV series, perhaps it will be left to the imagination of our families. We crashed on an island on 22nd September 2004. As far as the rest of the world knows, our plane made it. But me, Jack, Juliet, Kate and Hurley we know the truth. We know the truth.
~The End~