Setting: Six months after About Last Night. Hiei and Kuwabara's relationship began in a storm, and the tempest has raged to this day.

Hiei sat in a tree, his knees to his chest. What had gone wrong? He thought back to the fight he and his Kazuma had just had for the umpteenth time. The same issues over and over again. They were never resolved, only forgotten about temporarily; swept under the rug to make room for makeup sex. After the last time Kazuma had sighed wearily and said he was tired of having the same argument, and that Hiei would never see his point. Hiei had reached for him but Kuwabara shook him off.

"I'm serious, Hiei. I can't do this anymore."

"What does that mean Kazuma?"

Kuwabara had walked over to the window, staring out at the clear October night sky. "We need to…" the words caught in his throat.

"We need to what Kazuma?"

"We need to take a break."

"Why type of ningen nonsense is that?" Take a break. He had watched enough television to know what that meant.

"It's not nonsense, Hiei. We need to take some time apart to figure out what we really want out of this. You and I do two things together: argue and have sex. I'm tired of it. Every time I try to talk to you about it, you brush me off. You won't even listen."

"Perhaps it's because you talk too damned much!"

Kuwabara shrugged. "Perhaps. But I never get to say anything."

Hiei made for the door. "I'm weary of this conversation; if you don't have anything else to say then I'm out of here."

"I'm not surprised. It's what you always do. Run away, Hiei. Run away like always."

And so he did. But not before putting a hole in the wall and leaving Kuwabara's ears ringing with expletives and insults. Now he was alone, feeling foolish and cold.

Kuwabara paced back and forth in his room, mumbling to himself. Should he go out to find Hiei? He knew where Hiei was. Hiei was in his favorite tree in the park, where he always went after they argued to cool off and wait for Kuwabara to come and retrieve him, which he almost always did. The issue never got solved. When they returned home they would either make love or curl up and fall asleep after makeshift apologies and promises to talk the next day.

That would never happen. Either Hiei would wake up in a great mood and Kuwabara was loathe to spoil it by bringing up the argument, or Hiei woke up in a bad mood and Kuwabara didn't wish to provoke him further. So they would table the issue until the next time, and then the next, and the next, and the next.

What was the 'issue'? There was no separate 'issue'. That was the problem. It started from their very first argument, when Hiei had overheard him talking to his ex-boyfriend on the phone and had taken off the next day in a temper instead of asking him about it. Hiei had returned the next day with Kurama, and had neatly dodged answering Kuwabara's questions about taking off without asking him about the conversation, or why Hiei had spied on his conversation in the first place. But Hiei had plenty of accusations that day, as he always did. He accused Kuwabara of still being in love with Toshi, and not being honest with him, and waiting to 'live in misery for the rest of his life'. Kuwabara had assured him that that was not the case, and tried to steer him back to why he had taken off, adding that it was a bad habit the he had developed. Hiei took off of course, for almost a week this time. He returned and they made up in the shower, and let the issue rest. But it didn't rest. That night as they lay, a creeping feeling spread out at the base of Kuwabara's neck, such as always happened when he was feeling apprehensive about something.

Kuwabara sighed. "Perhaps it was just a waste of time," he said aloud to himself. "This whole thing. This relationship was a bad idea. Damnit, what was I thinking-"

Kuwabara looked up, walked over to the window and peered out. No, no one was there. But I could've sworn that I just saw…he thought to himself. Never mind, it couldn't have been.

But it was. As Hiei left, preparing to depart the ningenkai for the final time he felt it. His heart was breaking; something that happened to all fire apparitions like him. He thought it wouldn't happen to him; after all he was half-koorime, who didn't form such attachments. He had convinced himself of that. Self-denial was a practiced art form.

He walked, his shoulders drooped, and feeling totally disgusted with himself. Rejection. The word screamed out in his mind. When your significant other is not satisfied with the relationship, or is not satisfied with them. The words from his favorite TV psychologist rang out in his mind. It's not your fault. Don't allow yourself to be blamed for the failure of the relationship. Talk to your significant other. Listen to their side. Then have them listen to your side. This was the advice that the 'therapist' gave to his audience, mainly middle aged housewives whose husbands were playing the field with younger women. After all, who else would be watching television in the middle of the day? A housewife. That's what he was. Just like the detective said.

He remembers when the detective first coined him 'Mrs. Kuwabara'. After two weeks of living with Kazuma, picking up after him and waiting for Kazuma to get home because he couldn't use the cleaning equipment, he headed for Kurama's.

Yusuke had opened the door. "What's up short stuff?"

"Where's the fox?"

"Same place he always is this time of day. At work. What's up?"

"Kazuma's place is a pigsty and I refuse to live in filth, but I do not know how to use the cleaning equipment."

Yusuke snorted "And you want the fox to help you? The spoiled rich boy? He ain't never done a dish in his life!"

Yusuke, who had to take care of himself most of his life, showed him how to use the dishwasher, vacuum cleaner and washer/dryer. The dishwasher and vacuum were simple enough but the laundry was more complicated; so many rules about color and temperature.

"Just read the tags," Yusuke advised. "You wear black a lot, so you wash black, red and dark colors in cold. Whites in hot water and use bleach, just one cup. Everything else in warm water."

"And what about this?"

"The dryer? You just put a load in and press the button. And put one or two of these dryer sheets in there. And you gotta clean out the lint filter after every load." He pulled out the tray. It was clogged with lint. It was clear that Kuwabara probably hadn't cleaned out the thing since he bought it.

Yusuke looked at his watch. "Kurama is probably home by now. He will be wondering where I am." His cell phone rang. "Hold on a sec."

"Hello...Hey, fox….just hanging out with Hiei at Kuwabara's….teaching him to be the perfect housewife…." Hiei growled. "I'll be home in a bit…love you too." A surge of jealousy ran through Hiei's spine. Yusuke noticed.

"Don't worry. You'll be saying it soon enough."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Hiei had snorted, looking away.

"You know what I mean, dragon. But be careful with Kuwabara. He's sensitive and he just got out of a bad relationship."

"I know that, detective. Now get out before he comes home."

"Yes, Mrs. Kuwabara," Yusuke teased, dodging the ki blast aimed at him

When Kuwabara came home that day, he was surprised at what Hiei had done that he picked the little demon up and swung him around, even more pleased and surprised that Hiei didn't hit him or demand to be put down. He fixed a spectacular dinner, and they ended their evening with spectacular love-making.

They fell into a regular pattern. Every morning during the week, Kuwabara would rise early and fix them both breakfast if Hiei wasn't off fuming over some petty argument. After they ate together Kuwabara would head to work, leaving Hiei at home. Hiei had discovered the television, and two of his favorite daytime shows were the soap opera Hana Yori Dango and the daytime show with the psychologist. The show used to annoy him, every time he flipped past it some woman was crying. One day he stopped to listen. That day's crying woman had the same issue that Kazuma had with that asshole he was seeing. Frequent cheating, but he always came back to her. But the woman knew that he would do it over and over again. The psychologist told her some nonsense about how there was nothing wrong with her, and that she should seek counseling. The show allowed people to call in and offer their opinions. He called and told her that her husband was an idiot, and so was she if she continued to allow him to use her. Hiei told her that his partner had dated an asshole just like her husband (they bleeped that part out) and that he wasn't going to change. The psychologist and other people in the crowd asked him a few questions, such as did they have trouble gaining acceptance from friends and family because they were 'gay'. He said that no one would dare question him and that he didn't care what other people thought. The psychologist asked if Kuwabara thought the same way. Hiei couldn't answer that.

As he watched more and more of the show, there were a few 'gay' or 'lesbian' couples whose family and friends had rejected them. Humans. So judgmental. Hiei often called in, offering his advice and became a popular caller. 'Hiro' was the name he used when he called, usually twice a week. But one day he called for a different reason.

It was after a particularly bad fight and he had left for a week. He had come back expected a warm welcome or perhaps to berate Kuwabara for not coming to find him as he usually did. But Kuwabara was cold and silent. His eyes were so chilly that Hiei couldn't look at him and Kuwabara stiffened when he reached out to touch him. He slept in the guest room that night, and could feel Kuwabara's coldness from the other room. The next day Kuwabara left without fixing breakfast. He called the show, truly puzzled as to why Kazuma was acting so strangely. They bombarded him with questions.

What was the argument about?

Have you had the same argument before?

Did he apologize?

What did he do?

The callers, biased of course were ready to pin the blame on his Kazuma. Hiei leapt to his defense. This had peaked the psychiatrist's interest.

"So Hiro, are you saying that you are responsible for the argument?" the psychologist asked

"No, I didn't say that either."

"Hiro, you two should talk."

"About what?"

"Obviously, there are some unspoken issues between you," the psychologist responded. "It would better to discuss them now before they result in a permanent rift in the relationship."

Hiei had swallowed hard permanent rift. That usually ended in the dreaded divorce, a death sentence for the desperate housewives on the show. "I don't think it's that serious." Hiei said, unsure of his answer, which of course the psychologist noticed.

"Are you certain, Hiro?" The question hung unanswered between them. Hiei hung up the phone, but they continued to discuss his phone call. The psychologist solicited advice from the audience and other callers.

Talk to him.

You need to talk.

Ask him what's bothering him.

As he listened to everyone give the same recommendation over and over, he decided that he would talk to Kazuma after all.

"What the hell is your problem?" he had demanded when Kazuma got home from work.

"What do you mean my problem? You come waltzing in here after a week, and I'm just supposed to be happy about it?"

So they argued for two hours while Kuwabara fixed dinner. Then they ate, watched television and went to bed in separate bedrooms, each wondering who would cave first. Hiei was sure that he had won when Kuwabara came to him in the middle of the night, murmuring apologies as they made vigorous love. Kuwabara was sure that he had won because Hiei had come back. Neither realized that they had both lost.

Can their relationship be saved? Find out as The Show continues!

My Dedications:

DarkDragonDreamer

Twistedmind29

Time on my hands

And the rest of my lovelies! Did you miss me?

My 'norms': I have several 'norms' that appear in all my Yusuke/Kurama and HieiBara stories. Hiei watches soap operas and daytime talk shows when no one is around. Kuwabara grounds his coffee beans fresh and squeezes his oranges for juice every morning. Yusuke jokingly refers to Hiei as 'Mrs. Kuwabara'. And Hiei and Kurama see a therapist.

Until next time!

NG714