Kurt's Diary: Me and my husband
"I hate him. I hate everything he does. I hate his eyes, his smile, his body, his face, HIS EVERYTHING. I hate him in general. I hate it when he kisses me. I hate every little thing he says. I hate when he holds me. I hate it when we're making love. I hate to see him care about me. You'd think I'm crazy to hate a person who loves me. You're right. I may be crazy in fact. But the reason why I hate him comes from the day I married him. I was so happy. I loved him so much. I was so excited I almost threw up that day. I wanted to make a family with him. I knew we would have had to adopt a baby. But I was happy anyway. But after a few days I realized I was just a fool. Why? Why Do I think that? Simple. He's just pretending."
Blaine had just read a page of Kurt's diary. He was just shocked. Kurt hated him. But why? And how? He didn't pretend to love him. What the hell was going on? Why was Kurt so paranoid? Why did he write that in that stupid diary and not tell him? He thought about it... he never joked too much with a man or anything. He never actually hurt kurt. So why did he think he was pretending to love him? Then he kept reading the diary
"Like, today he came back home and kissed me for no reason. I know he pretends to love me because he just wants me for the money, the sex... not me in general. I realized that day back in 2018 when he asked me for 200 dollars and he left... and then that night we had sex. Yeah we practically do it every night but that night he didn't seem to love me in any way."
What the hell? That was like 2 years before and he still remembered it? And he DID love him that night and he needed money to buy his sister a gift. He loved him and he wasn't pretending. He had to show him all his love. He closed the diary and went by Kurt. "Hey baby" he smiled "though day?" He sat on the bed next to him.
"No. Normal" Kurt replied. Blaine rubbed his back "Oh come on. I know you. But I can make you feel better..." Kurt just pushed him away "No. No way. I don't feel like sex right now." Blaine said "No, I didn't mean that. Want to go on a date, honey?" and he pulled out a bunch of flowers and smiled. Kurt smiled and took the flowers "Ok"
"So I found this diary cleaning the kitchen..." "Wait... you didn't open it?" "Oh no no. I would have found out horrible things about me you've been hiding for 2 fucking years, dear loved husband" Kurt looked away "You didn't have the permission to read my diary" blaine looked at him madly "AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE PERMISSION TO HIDE THINGS FROM ME. FUCK I'M YOUR HUSBAND!" "BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU LOVE ME. YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT SEX AND MONEY!" "NO I DON'T! FUCK IT'S BEEN 2 YEARS!" "OF PAIN!"Kurt said and ran off crying.
Fuck. That night should have been amazing. But he had to ruin everything talking about that diary. He should have run after Kurt. But he didn't. He just stayed there shocked at that table. Everyone was staring at him. But he knew one thing : he wasn't pretending.
"Dear Diary, please help me. Help me. Blaine read you. He found out...But he freaking pretended to love me. He just doesn't love me. I realized. He's totally stupid but... I love him more than my whole life. He's actually the reason I breathe."
"Now If he cared he would have come here to me..." kurt said and cried himself to sleep.
He woke up at 2 am to his husband sleeping next to him. Blaine woke up too and stroked his hair "Hey Honey. No don't say a word. I love you more than my life don't think I'm pretending cause I'm not. You spent 2 years all this paranoid and you hurt yourself. But you always stayed with me. You wouldn't have done this if I was pretending..." Kurt nodded his head and turned around "I don't know why I thought this... maybe I'm too stupid to be loved by you that's why... and yes I love you" Blaine kissed his head "I love you. Don't forget" "I won't forget" And after that they kissed and finished with making love. All happy and next to each other they were lying after that. That was the first time Kurt knew Blaine loved him more than his whole life. He just smiled and fell asleep to those arms... The arms that kept him safe every time.
"Good Morning darling" Blaine said opening the shutters as the light made Kurt feel weak. "Noo, 2 more minutes" He said while he put the blankets on himself . Blaine smiled "Come on sweetie! You have your job now" "No, I don't care. I'm too weak because of last night" Blaine jumped on the bed "How come that I'm not weak at all?" "Cause you're the strongest man in the world?" "It's your love that makes me stronger" Kurt pulled off his blanket and looked at Blaine " Oh well my love has been the most horrible love in the world. I'm a freaking jealous freak" he looked down sadly as Blaine reached for his chin and pulled it up "Stttt just forget it, ok? You don't suck, your love is amazing. And you're not a jealous freak. Everybody is jealous. Me too and don't even think that again" Kurt stared at him and smiled , then he kissed him. "Thanks" "For what?" Blaine asked confused "For existing" He hugged him. "I love you" "I love you too. And btw I made your breakfast. Wanna try it?" Kurt smiled as he pulled away "What did you make me, Blainey?" "Arrr I love it when you call me Blainey" He moved closer and smiled hotly "Oh well I love to call you that" "Umm maybe we have like 5 minutes. Wanna do something?" Kurt laughed and just kissed him "Morning sex?" "ahaha morning sex baby"
-End-