Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji. That means I don't own Grell OR Will. I know. It sucks, does it not? I do, however, own a Grell plushie that my big sis' made for me!
Warning: Do not read if you can not take a few pervy jokes and a couple of awkward moments with William and Grell. Read at your own risk because this FanFiction may not be right for you.
Serious Warning: Contains boatloads of swearing and WillxGrell.
A/N: This is just something that popped into my head. Please do not flame me! And you may not want to read this if you can't take a lot of cussing. All inside jokes will be explained at the end of the last chapter. If there are any I missed in the list, please say so in a review.
~And with that said, let this epic tale begin...!~
(HAAAZAR!)
…
Grell ran excitedly through the halls of the Shinigami Dispatch Association looking for one specific office. Once he found it he knocked the door wide open, and with a big, stupid grin plastered on his face, yelled gleefully:
"WILL DARLI- Huh?"
He did find the person he was looking for (William T. Spears. He was working, as usual), but he also found a certain golden-headed shinigami in the (expensive) chair on the opposite side of William's (expensive) desk.
"Ronald? What are you doing here?" questioned a confused Grell; stupid grin still on his face.
"Mr. Knox and I were just discussing you." replied William.
Grell's eyes lit up instantly as he rushed to William's side. "Oh? What were you discussing about me? How absolutely SEXY am? Or maybe-"
"Nothing like that. We were just wondering how the #1 nuisance known as Grell Sutcliff came to be a full-fledged shinigami." he retorted harshly in his William-like ways.
"How rude!" Grell replied, eyebrows knitted together, voice still cheerful, and the same silly smile gracing his features.
His smile faded slightly when Ronald started to chuckle. "Oh yeah? I've been wondering something too, Will." Grell started.
"And what might that be?" William questioned seemingly focused on filling out the papers that lay on the desk before him.
"How do you get to work every morning? You poor dear! I mean, it must be hard to get anywhere with a six-foot-long stick up your ass."
At this, Ronald started laughing maniacally as William frowned deeply at Grell, who smirked; seeming somewhat proud seeing that he successfully caused Ronald to go into a full-on "shit your pants" kind of laughing fit.
William shot his hysterical worker the "shut the fuck up" look, and Ronald did just that. He then turned his head back to Grell who was, as always, still smiling.
"Mr. Sutcliff,-" he started before Grell interrupted with, "I'm just gonna stop you right there, Will. Please, call me Ms. Sutcliff!"
"Over my dead body. And my name is not Will. It is William. And as your superior, it would be greatly appreciated if you called me Mr. Spears."
"Not until you call me Ms. Sutcliff."
An office manager can dream, right?
William realized that he wasn't going to get anywhere unless he obliged to Grell's request.
"Fine. MISS SUTCLIFF," he put emphasis on the "miss", which made Grell giggle. "I do not especially appreciate that kind of language in my office. It is highly-"
"Yeah, yeah. What are you going to do? Wash my mouth out with soap?" Grell waved him off.
"That could be arranged." William replied, adjusting his glasses.
"Ooh la la~!" Grell purred seductively (take this however you want, perverts).
"I really don't even want to know what you're thinking. Do I?"
"I don't know, do you?" Grell blew a kiss in William's direction. The small pink heart bounced off of William's head, being ignored by the man.
"Anyway, Sutcliff. Is there a reason you brought your perverse mind into my office today?" William pushed his glasses up again.
"A lady can't come into the office just to see her favorite~" he was cut off when William's death scythe collided into his unsuspecting head.
"No." he retracted his branch-trimmer, "And what you do in your free-time is none of my business, but I will ask you to please refrain from bringing your gender-confusion into the office. It messes with the heads of our first-year shinigami."
God knows what gender you are.
...
Actually, scratch that. Even GOD isn't too sure.
Grell rubbed his now-indented head before bouncing right back up on his feet. "Aww Will," William noticed that even though he called him Miss Sutcliff, Grell still called him Will. "You're so cold~!"
"Sutcliff, if you are here for a reason, please get to the point. If you are not, then please close the door."
Confused at why William wanted his door closed, Grell obliged anyway and skipped over to the door, slamming it shut.
"With you on the other side." added William, making Grell pout at him.
"That's not very nice~" he skipped back to where Ronald was sitting, dumped him out of the chair, and sat down in the now-vacant seat.
"Ow!" was the muffled sound that came from the unfortunate blonde as Grell stole his chair. "Talk about not being very nice, Ms. Grell!"
Grell's eyes flashed to the man standing up, as he pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. "God bless your heart, darling boy! You've taken into account my ladylike traits! For that, you will be rewarded with a hug!"
"S-S-Sut...Cliff... Cho-choking m-me..." squeaked Ronald. Grell loosened his grip around the poor boy's neck and let go.
"Grell. Out... NOW." hissed William sharply.
"Wait, wait! Hear me out! (Grell's Thoughts: Oh, we're using first names now? Will's so hot~) The reason I came here was to ask for a favor from you, Will."
"Let me guess, you want the rest of the day off so that you can go bother that demon you like so much, am I right?"
"No, no. Nothing like that," Grell shook his head, "We made a deal. If I leave him alone for 2 weeks, he will give me his left shoe as a keepsake. Pretty good deal, right?" he explained proudly.
William stared at him blankly while Ronald gave him a dumbfounded look.
An awkward silence claimed the room. Grell was still standing with his hands on his hips.
...
"Okay then, Sutcliff. What is your favor?" William pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, yet again.
"Let me take you out to dinner!" Grell exclaimed, arms outstretched as if inviting William into a hug.
Still fiddling with his glasses, like William often did, he spoke, "Very sorry, but the stick up my ass and I are very busy. We have YOUR work to get done."
Grell pouted once again. "Will? Why do you hate me so much? I just want to be your friend."
"You cause overtime, Sutcliff. Why do you want to be my friend? Cold, rude, mean, boring, uptight, unfeeling, (and quite a few more unpleasant terms that I will not be saying in the office anytime soon) me? Honestly."
"Because, even though you are all of those things, I still love you, darling! The way you're so heartless turns me on!" That stupid grin returned to his face.
If William wasn't the stoic man he was, he would have definitely bashed his head into the desk (repeatedly) at that comment. Since he was the stoic man he was, he just ignored the last remark and continued to work.
More awkward silence.
...
"Well?" Grell finally broke the silence.
"Well what?" William didn't bother to tear his eyes away from said paperwork.
"Will you join me for dinner? It would be awfully rude to decline my offer!"
'I'm startin' to feel like a third wheel here (BICYCLE!)...' thought the poor seatless man (darling boy?) known as Ronald Knox.
"What do I get out of this, Sutcliff? Besides free dinner." William rested his chin on his hands.
Grell put his finger to his chin in thought.
...
DING! You could practically see the little light bulb hovering over his head.
"How about this, Will. If you allow me to take you out to dinner, I will act, what you call, civilized (A.K.A: Boring, in William's book). I'll do my work, not bother you, and even follow the dress code!"
William took this offer into consideration. "And how long will these rules apply?"
"A whole day."
Hmm. An entire day of Grell acting like a normal person. Maybe one little evening with the redhead wouldn't hurt to much.
"All right, Sutcliff. It's a deal. Meet me outside the building at 6:00 P.M. sharp."
Grell squealed in a way that his fangirls would have thought was adorable, but William found quite annoying.
"Oh Will~! Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!" Grell launched himself toward the dark-haired man standing up from the chair and glomped him. They were in a kind of a sideways T shape.
Ronald sat in his (Grell's) now-vacant chair, looking quite amused that William was being hugged. By Grell, none the less.
"Sutcliff, please remove yourself from my waist."
Grell did just that. "Hey Will~?" he asked innocently.
"Oh, Christ, what do you want now?"
"I kind of need to go home." he said with that idiotic grin of his.
"But why?" sighed William.
"I have to get all prettied up~" Grell responded, looking somewhat shocked that Will hadn't even taken this into consideration. William gritted his teeth. He hated this.
"You look fine. Stay here and finish your work. I don't want overtime."
"What! Are you crazy! I can't go out looking 'fine'! I have to look 'GORGEOUS'!" he explained loudly; slightly frustrated.
"You look gorgeous. There. Go back to your office." Will responded dryly.
"Nope!" the redhead crossed his arms. "You didn't mean it, so I'm not gonna leave~!"
"Fine. You may have he rest of the day off." William gritted his teeth. He hated this, but he could just make Grell do the overtime he caused.
"Aww~ Thanks Will!" Grell flung the door open and ran out of the room.
This wretch? Acting normal for an entire day? It was to good to be true.