Dear diary!... Dear diary?! Oh god I've become one of those people! :-/ Anyhow, so yep I'm here doing this because according to my therapist it will help with the healing process!... Healing process?! I swear the woman thinks I've been round the world 15 times in 25 different outfits via conoe, hoovercraft, jet-ski, rollerblades, tricycle and pennyfarthing whilst singing nursery rhymes and classic Eminem all the time doing the Time Warp! (Bloody hell just read that back and nearly passed out)! Hmmmmm maybe I should put her forward for a session! I mean don't get me wrong I'm sure she is exceptional at her job and let's be honest she probably gets paid more then I will ever earn but seriously, doe's she need to ask me how I feel all the time?! How do you feel about this Gail? How do you feel about that Gail? I counted last Thurday and she asked me how I felt 10 times in 25mins! I had this urge to punch her in the face and then say: 'How do you feel about that'?! I am so glad I'm not paying for any of this! It's all completely pointless in my eyes but it's all part of the 'Healing process' as I keep being told and the 'only way' to get my mind 100% back on the job!
The job, well let's not even go there! I swear that I must of really annoyed someone in a previous life, or been the reason they came up with Superman and the Fantastic 4 because in this life I've been put in a group of the worst crime fighters like ever! I mean don't get me wrong they are an alright bunch (Did I really just say that)?! :-/... But sometimes I wish I could click my fingers and the five of them would vanish! (That would be the coolest superpower ever)
Ooooh Ooooh just for fun and because it will be 'Theraputic' Lets sum up 15's very own 'UnForceable 5'! (Don't mock the name, took me ages to come up with that)!
DOV: Hmmmmmmm, Dov is erm... soft! He's the new kid at school the bully lay's his eyes on the first day of term and automatically announces to anyone listening: 'Oh look easy money has arrived! I won't be paying for my lunch anytime soon'! Then as soon as the said bully makes his move, Dov turns out to be Danielson from the Karate Kid kicking everyones arse in self defence! I mean to be honest to look at Dov you'd think a small breeze would knock him over but he's got shit packed away in his back pocket for when the time arrives! (No I'm not talking about those pathetic Trivia Cards that I have been unable to steal and gain pleasure from ripping each one up individually into a million pieces)...Actually thats mean of me! It's not Dovs fault he's a geek and likes to know all things general knowledge, it just doesn't mean that I do! One day I'm sure he will get the message! I DON'T CARE WHY THE TOWER OF PIZA LEANS!...But if I had to sum Dov up in one word it would be: SPECIAL
TRACI: Ah now Traci is actually like superwoman, I mean like without actually being super! Juggling being a single mum and megacop! Traci gives off the whole 'I'm totally confident' vibe but there are a few cracks! I like Traci though, I must do cause I'm currently trying to set her up with my brother! Either I'm fed up with the two of them moaning about being single and no one loves them blah blah blah or I'm turning into Mother Theresa! :-/ Personally I think they both just need to get laid sooner rather than later and wallah good deed done for the year! But one thing Traci needs to stop doing because it is actually really fkn annoying and really beginning to do my head in...teaming up with my mother and agreeing with everything she does! (They're not actually teaming up in person to get me, but Traci is giving off the whole 'Hi Mrs Pack let me kiss your arse yes Gail needs to get a man)! I can find someone on my own! FACT!...So lets sum up Traci in one word shall we: UNIQUE
CHRIS: Ahhhhhhhh good old sweet Diaz, god I love this guy! :- D ...Oh woah calm down, put down the maracas and party poppers! :-\ Before you start planning the wedding NOT LIKE THAT! Me and Chris had a thing but it wasn't like an amazing special thing it was just like a... at that moment in time thing! Nothing special but it wasn't bad it was just a thing that involved occasional kissing and sex and erm... thats it really :-/ There was no love there at all! Well maybe from Chris but thats the kinda guy he is. Don't judge me! I just wasn't really in far enough. I wanted fun, we had fun! END OF! But Chris in general is a good guy, wears his heart on his sleeve! I mean he's been through alot poor bloke the whole Christian thing really rocked his world but I think he's getting there slowly. Me and Dov have to constantly play 'SUPER BUDDIES' to cheer him up and it works! Not normally the kind of thing I'd do tbh...you know caring about people and talking through their problems! I let Dov do all that, but it doe's involve a lot of alcohol and I'm always up for alcohol so really I think it's safe to say I win!...Chris in one word: CONSIDERATE
ANDY/NICK: Ok so your probably wondering why I've paired them up as one? Well two reasons! ONE: These days they always seem to be joint at the hip! I mean its sickening! I don't eat breakfast before work anymore because for 3 weeks straight as soon as I entered the building and saw them I had to make a beeline for the loo to chuck up! TWO: I've just wasted 3 mins writing about two people who don't deserve my time or words and tbh I don't really know why I'm still typing things about them! Let's be honest I couldn't give a flying fart what they do as long as they do it away from me!...Ok so I've just read that back and my god I sound like the crazy jealous ex girlfriend or something! :-/ Let's clear that up straight away! I'm not jealous in the slightest. Nick's a waste of space! You'd think I would of learnt my lesson first time round but oh no, I went back for more and guess what! History really does repeat itself so my fault for jumping the red light! And as for Andy well all I'm gonna say about her is GOOD LUCK! I'm sure one day she will actually meet a man and truly fall in love, cause if she really believes every guy she is with she loves then I think I'm gonna have to sign her up to so she can watch every Disney movie ever made! Poor girl needs help, but I'm happy to stand back and watch this nice little scenario she's created for herself explode just so I can LAUGH AT HER!...Andy and Nick: PATHETIC!
Hmmmmm wow I've just read back this lovely little page of words I have managed to type and WTF! I'm not really sure where my therapist gets her ideas from but if someone can tell me how this is theraputic please let me know cause tbh it all just makes me sound like a raving lunatic who has stalked these people and their lives just so I can insult them and slag them off! :-/...Actually on second thoughts I think maybe I'm gonna enjoy this! Maybe this is the way forward for me, maybe all this typing will help me out in some strange way or another! Hmmmmmm maybe tomorrow I could tell you all about my mother?! Oh diary me and you have so much to share, how on earth can you contain your excitement?! I know I can't :-/ Anyway I'm bored now, thats 35 mins of my life I am never getting back! As fun as its been I've run out of cheesepuffs! So till next time!...