Title: Sacrifices

Author: Fallenbelle

Rating: T for Adult language and acts

Spoilers: General season 8 knowledge

Warnings: Julia swears-albeit mildly.

Notes: Missing scenes set sometime in 8x08 High Voltage. Italicized dialogue taken from "High Voltage." Characters aren't mine, just having some fun. I promise to put them back when I'm done. Title from the Elton John song "Sacrifice".

Brackenreid: "It's not the woman's right to vote claptrap that I'm talking about! Although I am happy to offer an opinion on another occasion. No, this is about Murdoch.

Ogden: "William and I have discussed my decision. He completely understands!"

Brackenreid: " I'm not sure he does. Now that you're married, Doctor, the world sees you differently. You're his property and whether you like it or not, your actions are his actions."

Ogden: "That is not how William and I view our marriage, as you well know!"

Brackenreid: "Listen to me, you making a public spectacle of yourself will not sit well with Murdoch's political masters."

Ogden: "And legitimately standing for political office is not a spectacle, sir."

Brackenreid: "Oh for God's sake, woman! Be realistic for once!"

Ogden: "This is none of your affair, Inspector."

Punching her pillow, Julia turned over in her bed yet again and sighed deeply. Try as she might to get the Inspector's words out of her head, she couldn't. Truth was, she wasn't sure what to make of them. The determined woman in her demanded that she dismiss his words of censure as that of the typical male determined to retain his dominance at any cost, yet there was also a nagging voice within that reminded her that there was more to it than that.

Sitting up in bed, she thought about their exchange earlier in his office. She'd always been outspoken and forthright, and while the Inspector hadn't loved those particular details about her, he'd accepted them fairly enough and with little complaint for the most part. He'd even trusted her medical opinion about various matters even when other men had casually scorned them and a few notable exceptions aside, hadn't done much to scorn or denigrate her sex, and all evidence proved that he did the same with Emily. He may not be in favor of female suffrage, but Julia suspected that he wouldn't have scorned her so readily over a minor difference in opinion. What if there was truth behind his words that William's position with the Constabulary might be in danger? What if rather than scorning her for her 'outrageous' behavior, he actually was trying to protect William?

Julia felt William shift in bed, rolling over towards her and taking her hand in his. Smiling down at him, she noted that his eyes were wide open, and Julia suspected he'd been awake and watching her quite some time judging from the somewhat concerned look on his face.

Lying back down herself, she made it a point to smooth out the worry on his face and kissed him before laying her head on his chest, directly over his heart. It was her favorite place to be as the reassuring beat never failed to calm her when she was upset or stressed. The fact that she was now allowed to do such a simple thing was also reassuring to her-it meant that he was hers to do such things with.

"Julia, I know you can't stop thinking about what the Inspector said, and I wish you wouldn't worry so. His opinions are certainly not mine, and as I told you, we're a modern couple, and we stand together. Please don't let it upset you or otherwise impede you. I can handle the ramifications, I'm a big boy, you know," William tried to reassure her.

"Dearest William, you are so lovely to worry about me as you do," Julia replied, stroking his cheek. "I do love you so very much."

Closing his eyes, he turned into her palm, savoring the contact-they both loved the intimacy and uninhibited conversation of their marital bed. "I know you're capable of taking care of yourself, but I still need to make sure you're content, happy, and healthy. I did promise those things in our wedding vows, you know," he answered, stroking her back with his hands while pulling her closer, as though he were afraid she would escape.

Pulling back to look at him, Julia read his unvoiced concern writ clear in his face, and she knew that he would never try to dissuade her from running for office or anything else she chose to do, so long as it wouldn't cause her physical harm. He was concerned about seeming less than supportive of her goals, of not helping her to achieve her dreams of legal equality between the sexes, the right for all adults to vote. She was his priority-even more important than his career-which she had thought was everything to him.

Smiling down at him, she knew he would never admit to her that his hard won career was in jeopardy; that while he had risked so much for her over the years, he was still willing to risk more for her. Sobered, exhilarated and terrified at this realization, she knew that she might have to seriously take the Inspector's words to heart and act on them-in spite of William's assurances.

But first, she was going to reassure her wonderful husband, (a man she was sure that she didn't deserve) that she wasn't unhappy, she was quite thankful and appreciative of him, and that she wasn't going anywhere. Sitting up, she pulled off her nightgown, exposing her nude body underneath and straddled him. Stroking his chest, she unbuttoned his pajama top, revealing his broad chest to her hungry gaze before she made quick work of his bottoms. When he moved to flip their positions, she stopped him.

This night, she was going to make love to her husband, and let him know how much she loved him.

"Tonight, it's my turn to take care of you, husband," she whispered huskily as she took him in her hand, causing his body to tense before acquiescing to her ministrations.

The next afternoon, the end of her shift nearing, Julia sat in her office looking out her window, sipping a cup of tea, as she contemplated her decision. As much as she hated to cede to the Inspector's words, she reluctantly had to admit that the man had a point, infuriating though it may be. William would never stop her from running for office, regardless of what it might cost him professionally. No doubt, he remembered what had happened when Darcy had stopped her from pursuing women's reproductive rights at the behest of her husband and the hospital board.

Sighing, she set her cup down and paced around her office. She was about to give up an important cause for a man again; there was no way around it. But this time, she wasn't being forced into it, if anything, she was doing so of her own free will even though such an action was not her first choice.

Standing by the glass doors and looking out at the busy ward complete with patients, nurses, and orderlies, she knew her decision-even if it made her unhappy. Her next task was to make sure that she didn't blame William for that unhappiness, and after that, find a way to let the other women know that while she couldn't be their candidate, she could and would support the cause.

If William had sacrificed everything for her, wasn't it time she sacrificed for him? He'd certainly been making grand gestures since they'd married, and it was time she make one for him.

Sighing, she grabbed her hat and coat. She would tell William over dinner later this evening, but first, she would go to the morgue and tell Emily, dreading the storm that would inevitably come with her announcement.

As she made her way back to the hotel that evening, Julia thought that informing Emily and Miss Moss of her decision had gone much like she expected; which was poorly. No doubt Emily was going to blame William for this decision (who would undoubtedly blame himself), and for that, Julia was truly sorry. It was true that she was doing this for William, but she wasn't doing it at his behest-in fact, that was the other argument that she was dreading. She knew William wouldn't take this well either and she was afraid that he would start jumping to the same erroneous conclusions that Emily had.

Opening the door to their suite, she was hoping that she could have a drink or two before any earnest conversations with William. As it was, she'd managed to get through the first drink and was pouring a second when William walked in the door, earlier than expected with concern clear across his face. There was no doubting that he already knew, and she was willing to bet that Emily must have told him-probably in anger.

"Julia, why?" he asked, removing his hat and coat while she poured him a glass of ice water.

"Because William, I can't be responsible for ruining your career. You've worked too hard, I can't ruin that, I won't ruin that," she replied, handing him his drink before taking a sip of her own.

Noting the odd combination of disappointment, anxiety, and confusion on his face, Julia knew that she could say words to set his mind at ease, or she could let him know that she didn't hold him responsible for the change to her plans through actions. Setting her drink down before taking his and doing the same, she led him to the sofa where she straddled his lap and began to loosen his tie and unbutton his collar when he stopped her.

"Julia, don't think that seducing me is going to distract me. We need to talk. Maybe I don't want to be responsible for you not achieving your goals, maybe I want to see you stick it to those pompous drones in a way that I can't," he replied taking her hands in his own and kissing them.

Laughing at his last comment, Julia rubbed noses with her husband. "It seems we both have rather good points, Mr. Murdoch, perhaps we find another way to change the way things are done. Emily told you, didn't she?" she asked.

Grimacing, he stroked her arms. "Not exactly, it was Miss Moss. Emily was with her, but it was primarily your mutual friend who was responsible for most of the fireworks" he answered with a bitter laugh.

Exhaling in anger, she pushed herself off his lap and began pacing their suite.

"She's no friend of mine, William! It's all I can do to keep from throttling her! How dare she! Who does she think she is, how dare she insert herself into our marriage. It's none of her business! I'm going to see her tomorrow and give her a piece of my mind; she's gone too far! Who the hell does she think she is, coming to attack you for something you didn't do? I told them that I wasn't withdrawing because you asked me to-it was the opposite! I specifically explained to them that you supported me and that I would still very much be a part of the campaign. I said that you weren't preventing my participation in any form or fashion" exploded Julia.

Standing up, he walked over to the window where she stood and stopped behind her. "Julia, please don't let her get to you. Her actions did not anger me so much as they concerned me, I was surprised that you had left the race is all. I was concerned that you felt this was something I was demanding or that I wanted-it isn't."

"William," she whispered, turning around and stepping into his arms, "this concerns you, but I did this of my own free will-something I made clear to both Emily and Miss Moss. It's no sacrifice at all, quite the opposite, actually. No, I'm upset that they still chose to blame you after I told them that you were nothing but supportive. I don't like Lillian, William. At first I thought she would bring fresh energy and vitality to our cause, but it seems all that she's going to bring is trouble. She doesn't respect the opinions of others, and if you disagree with her, you're a foe to be vanquished. I don't know that I want to support the cause anymore, William. Not if she's a part of it-she's going to destroy it-not help it!"

"Julia, that's no reason to leave. If anything, you must fight harder to support the cause and save it if you think the actions of Miss Moss will undermine your goals. Your cause is just, milady, and one worth fighting for. You've always been a fighter, and you can't stop that now that you're married. I would never ask nor want you to."

Stepping back to look at him, she snorted, and laid her head on his chest over his heart, the steady rhythm calming her once again.

"You and your damned logic, William; even if it is winsome. Very well, I will stay and fight-you're absolutely correct, the cause is too important for me to give up just because I don't like one person."

"Very good, Mrs. Murdoch. I'm pleased to hear that. Now, about that seduction you started earlier," he murmured untucking her blouse from her skirt, and deftly undoing the buttons on both.

Laughing, she began work on undressing him. "But Mr. Murdoch, you weren't interested earlier. Change of mind?"

"I said I wanted to talk first, not that I wasn't interested. I'll be six months dead and still want you, Mrs. Murdoch," he replied, pooling both her blouse and skirt at her feet. Sweeping her up in his arms, he carried her to their bedroom, where tonight, it was his turn to be in charge.

Throwing her head back in laughter, Julia knew that their modern marriage was going to be just fine.