Sitting in the Lounge and holding the pencil over the opened sketchbook on my knees I looked around for some interesting people to draw.

My sketchbook was very important to me because it was really difficult do get paper nowadays; drawing at a tablet or at the pc would have been much easier, but I liked the grip and the special smell of paper.

I used to do the sketching every evening, since I began working for this hotel a few years ago.

It was a nice job, varied and not too exhausting.

Well, I guess the best way to describe my work is to say, that I was something like a gofer, doing the work where it was needed.

Mostly at the reception, but also at the bar and in hotel rooms for cleaning.

I really loved to be in contact with those people, everybody was different and sometimes quite difficult to handel; but it did not matter at all because it was just for the moment and not for eternity.

Little by little I had learned to cope with everyone without building a personal relationship towards the guests.

They would never know whether I liked them personally or not.

Many of my friends had gone to Starfleet, so I had not much contact to them anymore, even if I tried, they were either too busy to speak to me often, or I could not reach them at all.

Among the hotel crew were only few people I knew well enough to spend my free time with and unfortionally they mostly had opposite working times, so we saw each other only for a short time every day.

Sometimes it was quite hard to stay strict to the rules and do not start meeting guests privatly, even if it was just for talking.

That made me feel a bit lonely.

Sitting at the Lounge and drawing the people around made me feel like I was a part of this community.

Of course I never knew what the people were thinking at those moments.

But I could imagine it and often started to add speech or thinking bubbles with sentences which might go through their mind.

The pictures I had drawn had no one seen yet and I did not want to show them anyway; it was my personal, precious treasure which was protected very well.

My look rested on a darkhaired man in the left corner, who sat on the sofa and looked, slightly grumpy, at the ceiling.

I had recognized him already a few hours before, but was not able to take a closer look at him, because I had to focus on work.

It seemed like he was lost in thoughts.

I could not tell why, but I liked him somehow, even if I did not know him yet.

What could it be that made him look that way?

He had to be a good looking man when he smiled.. but did he smile at all?

What was his name?

With even more questions on my mind I started drawing.

Normally I did not forget peoples names easily, especially when it was someone like him.

After finishing my works I added the name of the person, so I could send it to them... if I ever wanted to.

But his name stayed a mystery. I could not remember at all.

The only logical reason was that he checked in after or before my shift.

Some time later I was satisfied with the sketch, it captured the moment really well; but due to his unknown name I simply addet a question mark.

" Elizabeth!. It's your time. Emily is already waiting for the change at the bar so please hurry."

My chief stood in front of me and told me to move.

After a quick view at the watch I realized that time had gone fast.

It was 8:35 pm. My shift had started already at 8:30.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Allen! I forgot time! It won't happen again."

Mrs. Allen was a caring, elderly person, who would not mind if it happened only one time, but could turn into a dragon if it did more often.

So I took my sketches as quick as possible and went straight down to the hotel bar.

It was quite early but not empty anymore, which meant I would have much work this evening.

At quarter past ten the whole room was fully packed with people who ordered one drink after an other; I wondered if they knew that I was alone and had to make them completly on my own.

While mixing the cocktails I got a strange feeling, there was a tense in the air I did not like.

A while ago I felt similar when someone had a heart attack right in front of me, but this time it was even stronger.

At 11pm I realized that my feelings had not lied at all.

Two tall men , might have been in the midtwentys, were fully drunk and really agressive; and a guy, who wanted to protect his girlfriend , was a gladly taken victim.

As they started beating him I just could stand,scream, shout and beg them to stop, but they did not.

I felt helpless.

Why the hell did nobody stop them? Why had the alert signal not started yet?

His blood dripped on the ground and even when he fell the men kept on hurting him.

Unable to think clear I ran towards them, but was directly sent back into the bar as a puch hit my stomach.

The shaking of the bar caused that one of the alcohol-bottles fell down and hit my head, bursting into thousends of pieces.

It did, luckily, not hurt me seriously, and just caused some small cuts in my face.

But the cold acohol helped me to think clear again; What a stupid reaction of mine. I could not help, I was not strong enough and they would beat me again, if I got in their way.

Most of the visitors left in a hurry or just stood scared in a corner, watching the whole scene.

Only some brave customers tried to hold them back and I wanted to call someone now, but the whole electronic did not work.

In their destructive mania they had smashed in the wall and had managed to tear the cables apart.

I guess that was also the reason for the absence of the alert.

Even in the highly developed world we lived in something like this could happen.

So what should I do?

Just listening to my inner voice I ran up the stairs and bursted in the lounge.

"Please, someone ...help!"

Gasping for air I was still able to catch the attention of the whole hall.

Maybe it was because of my wet hair, the wounds in my face or the desperate look in my eyes that everybody stared at me and went totally quiet.

Now everybody heard the screams and beats from below.

"Is somebody here a doctor!?" I screamed with tears in my eyes,

"Downstairs are some vandalizing idiots who smash up the whole bar and try to kill someone!

I don't want this to happen but I am not able to resist them!

Please I need help! -Someone! - I would have called for help, but the electronic is destroyed, too."

I never wanted to see someone die again, I saw enough sorrow for a whole life.

The security of the hotel went for help right after I had appeared in the room, they knew something was wrong.

I could not move.

It was as if my whole body wanted to protect me from seeing this cruel scenery downstairs again.

Still everybody stared at me but they did not move either.

Nobody, except the security, helped and a doctor was not found yet, too.

But now the man you had drawed before entered and came straigt in my direction, directly focusing the bloody cuts.

"I just heard someone screamin', what happened!?"

I stared at him and knew he could see the pain in my eyes.

" Downstairs.." my voice was nearly gone, I definetly had screamed too much.

"... he needs a doctor."

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, you seem like you need one, too."

I shook my head vehemently.

"No, I'm fine. The man in the basement is more important!"

The browneyed man sighed and muttered something under his breath, what sounded like it were expletives.

Afterwards he turned back to me.

"Dammit! This is definitely not what I imagined or wanted my holydays to be.

I'll look after him. And you have to calm down, sweetie.

Take a deep breath and sit down. I'll come back later."

I was fascinized by his eyes and his way of speaking, sounded like a southern acent, but I did not understand why I should wait.

" But..I want to help!" I nearly sobbed and ignored my hurting place at my stomach, where the man had hit me.

"Blockhead. You won't help anybody if you go downstairs in this condition. No way. Ya stay here, honey!"

He slightly pushed me into a seat and went quickly to the bar room.

When I calmed down I noticed I was trembling.

It was not the first time this happened, I had trembled when my mother died, years back.

I had been forced into a therapy, but somehow I managed to bypass it.

In retrospect, it might have been better to face my fears and to finish this therapy.

But at that time I was still a teenager ... and teenagers act quite strange from time to time.

Now I would really need a therapist...

Nobody needed to be a psychologist to notice it.

However, this time it was confusing.

I did not know the young man, but was as afraid and shocked as I was at this one day.

Maybe it just teared the old wounds open.

Maybe I knew I could not protect him, I could not even protect myself.

It was possible that I was afraid of being even more involved in this chaos.

I was afraid that I could get seriously hurt myself.

It went quiet after a while.

Both men got arrested and the victim was brought to a hospital, accompanied by his girlfriend.

I still sat on the chair the same way I did before, still trembling, with closed eyes and not able to move.

" They were drunk as a three eyed spider on a blue tick dog, ma'am!"

A familiar voice spoke to Mrs. Allen.

Then I heard it right beside me.

"Hey, are you allright?"

"I don't know..."

I answered honestly and added with a forced smile.

"Can't you tell by looking how I feel?"

I had opened my eyes and stared at the ground.

My stomache was better now, but headaches had appeared.

The man took a chair and moved it right in front of mine, watching me closely.

At least I thought so, because I just could see his shoes, but felt his gaze on me.

"Hey, look at me, darlin'." He took my hand and I lifted my head.

I never met a man with such beautiful eyes in my entire life.

" Shall I patch up your wounds?"

He objectively proceeded with the survey.

I just nodded and let him do his job.

He sounded slightly grumpy, but by no means unsympathetic.

Well maybe it was only due to the situation, after all he cared for me.

"Hey, are you better now? What and how do ya feel?"

How and what did I feel? It was hard to describe.

And why was he so nice? He did not know me at all.

" What am I feeling.. I don't know...

I feel alone, I feel afraid, I feel reminded of the past, I feel weak, I feel pain, I feel so much I think it's almost overflowing. I'ts like a carussel of emotions turning around and around, not letting me go."

I knew my words must sound quite strange, but I had no other way to describe it and the words just flowed out of my mouth.

It was ridiculous.

Normally emotions did not throw me out of the track this easily.

I had already experienced so much lows that I had to be tough.

But I was not.

I never was someone with many friends.

But those I had were really close.

There is no way someone could buy a best friend.

They will always stay by ones side, no matter what.

I knew people at school who gathered so called 'friends' around them, but they were just searching for attention, not for real friends.

I tried to protect my friends and hid my problems, so they would not worry about me.

The only person who really knew what opressed me was my beloved brother.

Till now.

It seemed like he was concerned.

He looked at me the same way my brother did before, the only one who really cared for me when I was young.

It was not like I had bad parents, they were just to busy to recognise when something was wrong.

"What happened in the past?"

Did he really care about my problems or did he just tell it to make me feel better?

This is what psychologist always say. That you should talk about your fears and problems, in order to get rid of them.

I pulled my knees closer to my body, hugging them like a pillow.

"I don't want to talk about."

"It won't become any better.

It is not easy to cope with such situations.

Believe me, I know what I 'm talking about.

I am almost every day surrounded by lunatics.

Our spaceship should be renamed in: The loony bin!

They drive me regularly to the brink of insanity.

Above all, our dear Captain and the greenblooded hobgoblin.

And when I want to relax and recover from those exertions a young woman with a scratched face appears in the lounge and screams for help.

Bloody hell, I nerver planned it like this!"

he growled and it was evident that the last sentences were referring to me.

So he worked on a spaceship with an insane crew..interesting.

Maybe he was a bit nuts himself?

Greenblooded hobgoblin... wasn't it already an insult to vulcans, or was I wrong?

"Anyway, you have to conclude with what had happened, whether ya are satisfied with it now, or not. You can't change it anymore.

And it actually helps to talk with others.

This is not only such psychological stuff.

Don't you want to tell me now what had happened?"

He never let up, did he?

And he had called me a square head, he was not better himself!

I could not help but smile slightly.

"Much happened in the past, but you don't have to look back more often than necessary.

You are right, we have to come to an conclusion after all.

It was still a nice time but interupted by some bad happenings which were more impressive than anything else.

They kept in my mind better than most of the good moments.

I think everbody has this memorys he wants to bann.

And when you see or feel something similar they just break out again and make everything worse.

I think I just need some sleep to recover from the shock... but at first I have to finish my shift."

It was close to 1am so there was not much work left except of cleaning the mess.

I stood up, with strong, piercing headaches, and wanted to go when he held me back.

"I don't think you need to do this. I talked to your chief and she said she could understand ya and you should take some days off. Go to your room and sleep, you really need it.

I don't want to babysit you even longer."

The last sentences he said, slightly grim, with the previously observed serious expression on his face.

Well, now I knew what to think about him.

He saw himself as my 'babysitter' and blamed me for disturbing his vacation.

As if I were a small child who needed a guard.

And as if I had screamed for help voluntarily.

My face darkened and my expression became slightly uptight.

He could shove the free days up his ass!

I did not need them anyway.I had no use for it!

I could not take adventage of it at all, because I had planned my whole holydays already.

And it was impossible to delete some days and use them now.

I decided to think it over and talk to Mrs. Allen.

If I got those days extra credited and had not to destroy my plans... well then it was a different situation.

"Hmm, sounds not too bad. I'll think about it."

I yawned so my grim undertone was not too clear to hear.

Before I left, he gave me some tablets with the remark that I should take them against my headache.

At least one friendly gesture, even if it was no completely reparation for the words he said before.

The lift to the second floor luckily worked, while the one for the bar still was out of order.

Tired and feeling a bit ill I nearly fell on my bed and had only enough time to take the pills he gave me and to take off my shoes, before I fell completly asleep.

He was right, I needed sleep.

Why was I in doubt about his skills?

He was a doctor, so he should even without his tricorder see, if someone was a walking zombie like me; he even knew about my headache, I did not tell him about.

Perhaps he was a good doctor, but what concerned his character.. I was not really sure what I should think about it.

Babysitter! Pah!

I was not so much younger than him. Impudence!

Had I had more energy at that moment, it would have triggered a fierce debate.

His luck.

But his name was still a mystery.

And again such rude behaviour, not to introduce himself properly.

I should have asked him in the lounge, but my emotions were too strong and confusing, so I did not think about it at all.

If it continued like this I would never find out.

My dreams were confused and messy and at the next morning I could not remember anything except a pair of brown eyes and my room, coloured in bloody red.

I felt better but had still light headaches.

The first thing I recognized was the sketchbook lying on the table.

I wondered why it was there and not in my bag , until I realized that I had forgotten it at the bar.

Someone must have found and brought it.

When I wanted to stand up I saw that someone had covered me with the blanket, too.

But the sketchbook was, however, still much more interesting.

I hoped the anonymous finder had not looked inside, but my hopes got destroyed when I paged through it and stopped at the last entry.

Beneath the questionmark was written in big letters 'Bones'.

But what the hell did it mean?

Bones... was it his name?

I was not sure...who had such a curious name?

The next time I saw him, I would definitely ask.

After changing my clothes and taking a shower I went down for breakfast and met Mrs. Allen at the lift.

"Hello Mrs. Allen!"

"Hello, are you feelig better now? You still look exhausted!

Doctor McCoy told me about your condition and said it would be better if you get some days to recover.

I had the same opinion about it and changed the service shedule so you get some days off.

You have holydays till next week, use them wisely to regain your energy.

I'm not used to see you like this, tired and nearly ill.

I don't want to see you working until you are fully recovered, understood? "

" Yes, I feel much better! Oh, he told me already about and I am really greatful. Thank you!"

"Oh nono, you don't need to thank me, thank McCoy, he persuadet me to do it – he is such a nice man – well, feel like a guest and relax."

I thanked her once again and left the lift.

At the breakfast table my thoughts wandered once again to the darkhaired man whose name was not a secret anymore and whose eyes I just could not get out of my head.

What was this feeling?

Why did I feel so strange at the thought of him?

Had I fallen for a man I did not even know properly and who thought of himself as nothing more than my 'babysitter'?

A man who did not introduce himself?

What a silly idea.

Well, at least he had helped me.

Of the few things I knew about him I could not tell much about his real character.

I had to get to know him better.

, what a man could he be?

I used this day for those things I had not much time for when I was working.

Some of my friends, who worked for star fleet, had holydays on earth and were really happy to see me again, after two years or even more.

They were nearly the same, but somehow their experiences had made them stronger.

Why had not I joined starfleet too?

The stories they told were so fantastic, I was really disappointed about my formerly decision.

But I liked my job as well, so it was not necessary to reck my brain about what could have been.

I joked around and laughed like I had not for years.

This feeling remained and made me look happier, healthier and more satisfied with myself.

Friends told me, that I was shining brighter than ever before and at the evening I returned, still with a smile on my lips, to the hotel.

It was unusual to sit in front of the bar instead of working behind.

I watched the unskilled behavior of the young bartender, who could not have been working here for a long time, because I never recognized him before.

He had to be quite new.

It was actually quite cute how he desperately tried to mix the right ingredients for the cocktails.

I nipped at my drink and looked through the room, when my look met this pair of well known eyes.

He watched me already since you had entered.

Whether it was just imagination, or whether he actually looked at me for the whole time, I did not know.

Without further ado, I took my drink and slipped some bar stools on until I sat next to him.

I chose to start with the status quo and rethink my previous opinion of him again.

And above all, I would give my gut this time more confidence .

I knew by now that I could rely on him.

"Hey, , how are you?" I smiled at him and he seemed to be pleased, too.

"I'm fine and as I see you are getting better, too."

"Yes, I had a really nice day, meeting friends and having fun; I wanted to thank you for persuading Mrs. Allen, and for taking care of me. I know it must not have been easy and I excuse for my emotional breakdown."

"You don't need to excuse, it's allright. Who wouldn't help such a pretty woman like you?. And did you forget that helping people is still my job?

Even if there are moments when I rather want to enjoy my vacation."

I laughed and had to agree.

"Well I have one further question..." I began, taking my sketchbook out.

"... Was it you who wrote 'Bones' above the sketch? What the hell does it mean?"

He nodded and looked for a second seriously at his feet, before the smile returned.

"Well, 'Bones' is the name I am used to, everybody calls me like this. It refers to my ex-wife who left me nothing but my bones. She got the whole damn planet!"

I was sorry for him, even more than I had expected.

It was almost as if it would affect me, too.

Normally I felt better in his presence, but when he began talking about such things it pulled me down.

"Oh, she had to be really stupid, to leave someone like you. "

it just bursted out of me.

Maybe my feelings were not as far-fetched as I had previously suspected.

Maybe my gut and heart knew it right from the beginning.

"If ya say so, I will trust it. She was the only reason why I joined starfleet.

I had no place left to go. Damn, I hate space!"

He was silent for a short time.

"Is there anybody in your life?" He asked then and lifted one eyebrow.

"Except my Sketchbook?" I could nothing but laugh.

For some reason, I was glad that he had asked , I actually felt even relieved.

"No.. there never was really. I had a few realtionships which were not as serious as I thought they would be.

Well, I never met the right one I guess."

I stated seriously.

"By the way, Bones... you know you never told me your complete name?"

I tried to change the topic but it did not work.

" Didn't I? I'm sorry, I have to rectify it immediatly.

Leonard McCoy, who is right now fascinized by the beautiful face in front of him."

"Oh, , are you trying to flirt with me? You know I am not allowed to have relationships with guests of the hotel I am working for!"

My indignation was of course just played and not serious.

"Oh Miss Elizabeth, you're on holyday! You are released of all obligations and when you continue working.. we'll see.

There is still time left to think about a solution. And we will finde one for sure.

I could take you with me into space..."

I could not resist giggling, since the babysitter actually flirted with me...

Who would have thought.

And I even liked it.

No, this time I would not run away from my feelings. Not like last time.

I had decided to trust my gut more and he was obviously very pleased, when I interpreted the butterflies correctly.

The alcohol of the last three cocktails I had drunk slowly started to work.

" Who could resist your brown eyes? Who could think they don't tell the truth? I definitely not."

"What else does my face tell you?"

"Hmm...It wants to be drawn, I think. Please stay like this, I like the way you look at me."

"Dammit, I'm a doctor, not a portrait model! Even if your drawings are really good...

I was astonished to see someone who still uses paper."

I had to giggle again.

Our conversation was slightly odd, but I thoughtit was the fault of the alcohol.

"Was this the reason you first recognized me? "

"Oh yes, you were completely absorbed by your drawings.

I often watched you, you get such a cute expression everytime you're doing it."

"Cute? I never knew I could look cute." I laughed.

"Oh you did. " His fingers stroked gently across my cheek and I felt my face getting hotter.

"See, just like now. " he stated satisfied.

My feelings for him were getting stronger, I had not realized at all,how strong they were and how well I had managed to block them.

But this could be the reason for my dreams of him.

His hand on my cheek felt confortable, so warm, so nice.

When he took it away I grabbed it again and held it between mine.

" Are you cold?" he asked me smiling and I shook my head, trying to hide that I was even more blushing.

"So why do you hold me? You don't want me to leave? Don't worry, love, I won't leave without you. You've sketched yourself straight into my heart."

At those words I saw amazed in his face.

It was the first time that he spoke openly about his feelings.

His eyes were shining and then, without warning, he kissed me softly.

The kiss lasted too short, but the butterflies in my stomach did not sleep yet,on the contrary they were even more restless than before.

"I think, I finally found the right one."