A Random Random Story of Randomness
By: Foxy18
MY FIRST FIC
It was a boring day at Central.
Riza let out a horrible screech.
Roy came running to his fair maidens rescue. "What is it, my darling?"
Riza was rolling around on the royal blue shag carpet, cackling like a fool.
The colonel with the God complex had a confused expression stretched across his sexy face.
By then Hughes skipped in with many hundreds of photographs of his beloved offspring. "SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL!" He screamed while tossing many of the various pictures into the air giddily. They floated there...
Ed ran in like a screaming banshee, only to be impaled violently with one of Hughes many floating pictures.
Al sauntered into the loud and destructive room. "Ed?" He inquired bi-curiously.
Ed glanced over to his loving (in more ways than one) brother, yet he could only see a mixture of pure white and crimson, which he assumed was the gruesome view of the photograph and his blood mixing in a cannibalistic way. "Wha... Holy Shniecky's, you're fucking human!"
"Everyone, look at Al! He's sexy!" A random person (i.e. me) shouted randomly.
Winry popped in and locked her sights on the friggin' hot Al. "Ahhh!" She screamed lustfully. Running over to the hot little man, she glomped him passionately. "Oh my God, you're so much better than your brother, the midget. You're so amazingly tall. Do me now!"
Ed was pissed. He took out a gun and aimed it at his cheating brother. "I thought you loved me, Al- I mean WINRY! WINRY! Because she is a GIRL! And so not my BROTHER!"
Roy glanced between the two bickering lovers, giddy over the idea of one of them being shot. "Oh well, Ed. That bitch had ugly hair anyway... Definitely not my hair, if ya know what I mean..."
Winry was outraged. She was as angry as a rabid turtle finding the most intimate parts on a man and biting hard. She took out a mouse trap and threw it at Roy, an attempt at murder.
Roy ran the opposite direction, tears staining his supple cheeks.
Riza suddenly stopped laughing and exited the room.
Back to Roy...
Roy was running frantically around the office, crying like a little girl scout, and in the process scaring the holy crap out of his comrades, among other random people. While he was jogging like a maniac, he witnessed himself being pulled down by the utter force of gravity, an act which wouldn't have happened without...
"TINY MINI SKIRT!" Roy shouted with glee, huggling the object as if it were his long lost security blanket.
Winry got bored of running after Roy.
Ed was also bored, a sexually explicit idea forming in his mind. No, not the mind in that head. Look further down.
The blond hottie went to kiss the bored Winry, but in a random and homosexual act, he instead kissed Roy erotically.
Roy blushed at the new and exiting blossoming emotions he was experiencing. He pushed Ed off as if he were an innocent virgin and vowed revenge for invoking such feelings upon his manhood.
Ed's beautiful blonde hair felt as if it were ablaze, this gay kiss bringing out his lustful passions.
Oh wait, his hair was on fire.
No, literally, there was fire in his hair.
Moving on...
Riza had a contorted look about her face as she flew into the room, a stack of smelly old papers within her feminine arms.
Roy saw his woman coming (COMING! lol.) into the room. He hid under his protective skirt, practically peeing his pants from fear.
"Who's peeing their pants now, ya morally bankrupt colonel with a God complex!' Ed shed a single tear from the immense joy he was feeling in his heart.
Riza scanned the room. "Oh. My. God." She backed out quietly.
All get painfully bored.
FIN:
Please tell me if you liked it or if it was so utterly horrifying and revolting that you imagined yourself going through the most painful death imaginable just to stop the utter horror and revulsion the fic induced.
To be continued... ?