Author's Notes: I was going to post this next week, but since I've gone back to school, my schedule is filling up fast. So I'm taking advantage of a (relatively) brief lull in classwork and summer job hunting to share this here.
A quick, humorous on-shot for White Day, a Japanese holiday celebrated on March 14 as a follow-up to Valentine's Day, basically about, well, I'd say the title is pretty self explanatory here. Compared to the lengths of things I normally write, this is practically an omake, and if you are really obsessed with Bleach, you'll probably know which ones are being referred to right away.
How the Fourth Division Celebrates White Day
By: LoneRonin
"Due to a lull in our duties, the Shinigami Women's Association has decided to promote two romantic holidays from the World of the Living known as Valentine's Day and White Day, which fall on February 14 and March 14 respectively, throughout Soul Society. The custom is observed in which men are expected to present gifts such as candy and chocolate to women on White Day, as an answer to when they presented such gifts to men in their lives, romantic or otherwise on Valentine's Day. Though personally, I suspect that the Women's Association is seeking an excuse to receive expensive gifts, especially since the men are expected to present gifts more expensive than what they received."
Yasochika Iemura, Third Seated Officer of the Fourth Division, ground a fresh ink stick and dipped his brush again as he continued to update his journal.
"What's even worse is that all the men seem to be getting into it! Naturally, that jerk, er, I mean, Eighth Seat Harunobu Ogidou has many gifts to distribute, as well as numerous dates with various women throughout the day. Though it's not a complete surprise; I've noticed a recent trend for a number of women is attraction to some of the shy, sensitive, lower-ranked members of our squad, perhaps as a contrast to the typical rough warrior-type that is the regular style around here. Why, I even spotted Seventh Seat Hanataro Yamada, wearing the yukata he keeps for special occasions while purchasing a white lacquered box at the store earlier today! With his luck, he's probably seeing the cutest girl in all of Soul Society, I'm so jealous! I can't believe that someone so shy has managed to find a date, while I, Third Seat Yasochika Iemura, don't even have a…"
"Maybe it's because most girls aren't into the neurotic types who voice their thoughts out loud." a voice came over his shoulder.
"What do you want?" Iemura snapped at his familiar nemesis.
Ogidou had a well established reputation as a joking, easygoing ladies' man, who liked to irritate Iemura at every opportunity.
"Captain Unohana asked me to tell you that we're having a cookout this weekend." Harunobu Ogidou answered.
"Speaking of Yamada…" the Eighth Seated Officer of Fourth Division added as he glanced out the window.
"Looks like he's off to his date."
Iemura left his desk and watched from the window as Hanataro headed for the gate to Rukonagi, carrying his white lacquered box with a happy, glowing expression on his face.
"He wouldn't have purchased something so expensive unless it was a very serious relationship. I wonder what she looks like." He pondered.
"You really have no idea?" Ogidou asked with a blank look.
"Of course not, why else would I ask?" Iemura was starting to get annoyed with his junior officer.
Knowing just how to get on his senior officer's nerves, he simply gave a smirk.
"What's with the suspense? Who's he seeing?" Iemura demanded to know.
"She has to be small, cute and shy, am I right?" he continued.
"Oh yeah, one of a kind." Ogidou answered casually.
"I knew it." The Third Seat groused as his jealousy increased.
Before Iemura could ask any further, a knock on the door came.
"Harunobu, where are you?" a girl's voice suddenly called from outside.
"I have to go." Ogidou replied.
"You know, he mentioned his date's got a really cute sister who's available." The junior officer remarked on his way out, leaving Iemura to stew.
'I'm not desperate, I know it's some kind of joke he's having at my expense. She's probably really ugly, or crazy, or fat...' he tried to reason with himself.
Iemura hurried through the streets of Rukonagi in an effort to catch up to Hanataro as the junior officer continued walking towards the outer countryside, clutching the small white box of candy and chocolate he had hastily purchased from the store. He wasn't desperate for a date, he told himself, even as he followed after his subordinate in hopes of seeing a woman he had never met before. He just figured that someone as dutiful, shy and sensitive as Hanataro must have found a lovely girl who matched his timid personality. Surely the sister of such a timid girl would be won over by his handsome looks and status as a Third Seated Officer…
Iemura's thoughts continued, hesitating briefly as Hanataro paused, then quickly started towards a much taller, muscular male with shaggy, shoulder length hair, dressed in a yukata with a somewhat garish pattern on it. They continued walking beside each other as they chatted, before disappearing behind a grove of trees next to a bizarre looking house.
Figuring he was seeing a friend before his date, Iemura entered the grove and got the shock of his life.
Hanataro was on his knees with his back turned to Iemura, whimpering softly as he reached up, holding onto the much larger man, who was practically picking him up while they kissed passionately. The Third Seated officer cried out in shock, backing out and away from the trees as the man looked up to see him. Before he could react, Hanataro's date stormed out from the grove and strode right up to him, grabbed the collar of his robe and pulled Iemura up to his face.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he roared at Iemura.
"Calm down, Ganju!" Hanataro quickly followed and tugged at Ganju's arm.
"Why were you following him? You weren't thinking of hurting my boyfriend here, where you?" Ganju questioned Iemura.
"B-boyfriend? You're Hanataro's date?" Iemura asked, still in shock that Hanataro was seeing someone nearly twice his size, a male no less.
"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Ganju answered.
"No." was all Iemura could think to answer.
"Go easy on him Ganju, it's just Third Seat Iemura, he's my senior officer!" Hanataro continued pulling on Ganju's arm as he tried to defuse the situation.
"I don't care who he is! You don't follow someone and then watch 'em in the middle of a private moment! It's disrespectful and rude!" Ganju replied.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you!" Iemura apologized as Ganju relaxed his grip.
"What are you doing here? Is there an emergency?" Hanataro asked.
"N-no, there's no emergency…" Iemura replied as he straightened his robes, still uneasy about Ganju.
"Then why did you come here?" Ganju asked.
"That irritating joker, I mean, one of my subordinates, mentioned that you have a sister." Iemura answered nervously as he adjusted his glasses, hoping he wasn't going to get upset about him asking to date her.
"You wanna meet Kukaku? Then why didn't you just say so! She'll be flattered!" Ganju answered as he broke into a smile, clapping a hand on Iemura's shoulder hard enough to make him gasp.
Hanataro trailed close behind as Ganju led Iemura to the weird house, threw the sliding door open and let him inside.
"Hey sis, you have a visitor!" he shouted into the hall before shutting the door behind Iemura.
"Um, are you sure this is a good idea?" Hanataro's voice could be heard despite being slightly muffled by the sliding door.
"He said he wanted a date, what could go wrong?"
Several hours later, Iemura stumbled along the path to the Fourth Squad Barracks, exhausted as the crickets chirped around him in the darkness, tidying his hair while brushing the last of the gunpowder out of his robes. Kukaku hadn't exactly proven to be his type; he was more into quiet, petite and gentle, not loud, busty and fiery. Especially not so fiery as to be in charge of setting off a huge fireworks celebration for White Day and having him (along with Ganju and Hanataro) light the charges alongside her.
He looked up to see a familiar face approaching the barracks.
"How did it go?" Ogidou asked.
"You jerk! You knew exactly what was going to happen!" Iemura shouted, angry that he had allowed Ogidou to trick him again.
"Look at it this way; I got you a date you'd never forget!" Ogidou replied as Iemura drew his zampaktou on him.
"Third Seat Iemura, Eighth Seat Ogidou, is this a bad time?" Hanataro arrived and interrupted the commotion.
By now he was fairly accustomed to intervening when Ogidou antagonized Iemura, which was a pretty common occurrence.
"Your timing couldn't have been better actually, how was your date?" Ogidou asked Hanataro.
"It was a lot of fun, the fireworks were great!" he replied before turning to Iemura.
"Kukaku said she had a fun time on your date together, but just so there aren't any misunderstandings, she said she thinks it would be best if you stayed friends." The smaller shinigami informed his Third Seat.
"Agreed." Iemura replied, sheathing his weapon.
"Also, I hope you're not upset with Ganju. Some people seem to react oddly when they see him showing affection to me, he's kind of sensitive about it." Hanataro added.
"Of course not. I'm glad you've found someone who cares about you so much. It's just that, that is to say…" Iemura stumbled, not certain of how to ask his junior officer what he saw in a fellow with such a rough demeanor and brutish appearance without coming off as rude.
"Are you sure it's safe?" He finally managed.
"I've never felt worried for my safety around Ganju, why do you ask?"
"Well, he seems to be a rather rough-looking fellow, I mean, that is to say, and…he's a lot bigger than you …oh Captain, there you are, say something!" he added, relieved as Captain Unohana approached the group.
"Seventh Seat Yamada." Unohana addressed her subordinate.
"Y-yes?" Hanataro asked.
"Did you let Ganju know he was invited to our cookout this weekend?" she asked.
"Yes, he said he would be happy to come." Hanataro replied.
"Captain…" was all Iemura could say as he collapsed in shock.