Have Yourself A Normandy Li'l Christmas, by potionsmaster
Rating: T for language
A/N: for shepard-pls on tumblr. ^_^ Prompt was Christmas on the SR1, everybody's there and of course there's a mistletoe! (humans are weird). Also, bonus: y'all get to see my second crack ship, lol. Wish they weren't such a rare pair, but then again they wouldn't be a crack ship if they were. pS: this is a stand-alone; does not take place in the Wish You Were Here universe.
"Whatcha doin', Chief?"
Kaidan saw Ashley messing with a pile of rifle barrels, various heat sinks, and an assortment of stocks on the work bench next to their lockers. She sighed in frustration.
"I was trying to make a Christmas tree out of them."
He blinked at her for a few moments and closed the door to his locker with a metallic clunk.
"Ooo-kay...why?"
She knocked the pile over and leaned against the table, crossing her arms under her chest.
"I was trying to explain Christmas and human holidays to Liara the other night. Thought it might be fun to have a tree and a small party down here if we can get it approved. I managed to find a cheesy, plastic mistletoe last time we were docked at the Citadel, too."
He rolled his eyes at that.
"You can't be serious...
She hip-checked him, eyes sparkling, then turned back to the bench.
"Well, bah-humbug to you, too, LT. It is December, y'know."
Kaidan furrowed his brow at that, pulling up the calendar on his omni-tool. Sure enough, it was December 21, 2183. He marveled at how Earth's reckoning of days and time went by the wayside while in space.
"Bridge to Alenko."
He closed his omni-tool and held in a sigh. The gun parts clacked and clattered as Ash struggled to put them in conical shape again. Kaidan ignored her muttering about using the ammo magazines as possible branches.
"Acknowledged. What do you need, Joker?"
"The commander's looking for you on crew deck. Something about a mission debriefing."
"Tell him I'll be there momentarily. Alenko out."
Ashley gave him a sidelong look.
"Say...he suuuure likes to debrief you a lot."
He felt the heat rise around his collar and tips of his ears and hoped she didn't notice. He hoped that he had kept his infatuation with their CO pretty well under wraps, but Ash seemed to have a sixth sense for teasing him.
"Whatever you say, Chief. If Pressly actually stepped up to being XO, he wouldn't need my help so much."
He started to make his way back to the elevator.
"Can you ask him if we can have a holiday party? Pretty please, with polonium rounds on top? He never says 'no' to you!"
She smirked at the wordless nod as the lieutenant disappeared in the lift.
The commander was sitting at the mess table, frowning at a datapad. He glanced up quickly at Kaidan's footsteps, a grin playing on his lips when he recognized him. Kaidan ignored the flutter in his stomach at that; this was his CO and even if his feelings were reciprocated, Shepard would never act on them. Too much at stake with the mission. Besides, he didn't seem to be the type to break regs, either.
"Pull up a chair, LT. How goes it?"
"Oh, you know. It goes. How're you doing, Commander?"
The CO snorted as he sank into a chair opposite of him.
"You don't have to stand on ceremony, Kaidan, 'Shepard' is just fine. And I suppose the same, though better now that you're here. You can help me flesh this out stupid report."
Kaidan's stomach churned again at the compliment. Even if he were trying to get over his crush, it would be almost impossible to do so; the commander seemed to make incongruous compliments towards him that only reinforced his hope. Stupid hormones. He wasn't a teenager anymore, so why did he have this stupid infatuation? Just because Shepard actually treated him with respect and like an equal...didn't hurt that he was six feet of solid, gorgeous muscle and piercing blue eyes.
"Just doing my duty, sir."
"Hmm. And I thought we were friends. Anything on your mind? You seem distracted."
The datapad was shoved across the table to him and Shepard got up. He retrieved a couple of water bottles out of the fridge and sat next to Kaidan, leaning over the datapad again. Kaidan froze as their shoulders touched. Shepard glanced at him and waited for an answer.
"Not a whole lot, I guess. Williams had mentioned wanting to hold a holiday party down in cargo hold and asked if I could bring it up to you."
The commander leaned back in the chair again, brow furrowed.
"And that made you anxious for some reason? I had no idea it was December...or that big an issue," Shepard teased, throwing a playful elbow Kaidan's side. He chuckled self-consciously, rubbing his ribs.
"Not nervous. Just preoccupied. Logistics of it, you know. If we have the food available, the time to take, so on."
Shepard cocked his head to the side, chewing on his bottom lip. Kaidan licked his own, then picked up the datapad. He was startled when it got pulled from his hands and put back on the table.
"I don't see why not. We can take a 24 hour break, at least. Have a party at night and the next day to recover. I'll talk to requisitions about getting some holiday cheer in the form of liquid. Probably need to make port, though. Put Ash in charge of decorations. I'll get Pressly to organize the food; that's about the only thing he's good at besides navigating. Let's plan it for the 24th."
"Sounds good, Shepard. Now, what did you need to ask me?"
"Joker, I must ask that you stop trying to touch my head. They are not 'hair tentacles'!"
Ashley had her arm thrown around Liara protectively, scowling at the helmsman as she and her antler headband swayed.
"Yeah! What if – hic! – I stole your stupid hat? What then? Hmm?"
Kaidan watched the whole exchange from his spot leaning against the Mako, nursing his drink. Someone had put a giant red bow on the hood, making it look like a rhino with a stuffy nose. Garrus joined him at that point.
"Well, I guess I would have to take your sexy piece of headgear. And burn that stupid piece of mistletoe in one of the thrusters accidentally on purpose. Please don't try to make me kiss Garrus again," Joker grumped from his seat. Dr Chakwas had specifically brought her own chair down from med bay so he wouldn't have to stand with his crutches for the entire time.
"Hear, hear," the turian agreed, raising his own triple-filtered brandy snifter. "I don't quite understand why humans feel the need to swap oral fluids to show affection. Turians are much more sanitary about it; we just bump foreheads. And I'll appreciate it if you don't try holding the 'mistle by its toes', or whatever you call it, over mine and Wrex's heads again, either."
A deep rumbling chuckle rang over the rest of the crew and Christmas music playing over the comms in the background.
"Headbutting isn't so different than your delicate 'forehead bumping', Vakarian. It just shows which one of us can handle it, that's all."
Garrus raised his drink in a toast to the krogan while Kaidan shook his head, fighting a smile.
"What, and ruin my good looks? Someone has to still be standing to sweet-talk you out of trouble with C-Sec."
"That's what Shepard is for, Vakarian," Tali slurred, dancing by herself a little ways off, "Speaking of which, where is he? I thought this was important to humans."
"You know, there is a fascinating theory about why humans kiss and it does have to do with mixing their saliva," Liara broke in. Garrus' mandibles flared at that. "The idea is that if one is searching for a reproduction partner, they need to see how closely their genetics match up. Easiest way to do that is essentially a 'taste test' –"
"Eww...why can't they just run a diagnostics program? Seems like that would be more efficient," Tali said, slurring her words. Tali had stopped dancing and was just staring at Liara at this point. Ash shoved a drink in her girlfriend's hands and gestured for her to take a sip.
"Because kissing is way more fun!" she said before planting one on the asari's lips, dangling the plastic mistletoe over their heads again. "Please stop talking about it, though...kinda ruins the romance of it all." Liara looked embarrassed and pleased all at once.
Kaidan decided to stop paying attention at that point and did a mental head count again, scanning the crowd. His marines were over by the lockers, camped out by the liquor table. Dr Chakwas was blushing at something Adams had said. Ashley was whispering something in Liara's ear to make her smile shyly and curl up in the gunnery chief's embrace. Most of the ensigns and CIC crew were spread out around the cargo bay, holding drinks and food. Some people were dancing. The commander was conspicuously absent, though, as was Pressly. He had half a mind to go up to the galaxy map and see if there was anything that they needed help with.
The elevator started moving in the background just then. Kaidan hoped it held the person he most wanted to see relaxed and happy. He shouldn't have worried. The doors opened, revealing a tired-looking commander rubbing his eyes. As soon as he was aware the doors were open, though, he stopped and put on a smile, stepping out to a chorus of tipsy greetings. One of the marines shoved a mug of hot mulled apple cider and rum into his hands.
Shepard grinned at the marine and thanked him, then turned towards the rest of the crew, eyes roving. They locked onto Kaidan's and he felt his heart just about stop as the commander headed straight to him. Kaidan pushed himself off of the tank.
"Hey, LT! Fancy seeing you here..."
"Yeah, funny how we keep running into each other, Commander."
"Shepard," he corrected around a sip, grimacing at the heat.
"Sorry, Shepard. Habit."
The commander clapped his free hand on Kaidan's shoulder, squeezing lightly before letting his hand drop.
"Learn how to break it, then. I told you before, there's no reg that says you can't be friends with your CO –"
"MISTLETOE CHIEF STRIKES AGAIN!" Ashley shrieked, darting over and holding the horrible, plastic ball of mistletoe over their heads. Kaidan felt his cheeks flush uncomfortably and the commander rubbed the back of his neck, back suddenly stiff.
"Chief, I don't think that's a good idea..." he said, dropping Kaidan's gaze to stare in his drink. She took a few more unsteady steps and bounced off of the lieutenant's shoulder. He caught her quickly and she smooched his cheek noisily.
"See? That's all you gotta do, Skipper! Mistletoe is still waiting..." she said, giving him a coy glance while jouncing the plastic decoration over Kaidan's head. "You know you want to..."
The commander shot her a stern look, eyes steely. She gave him a mock-innocent face back.
"Everybody's been kissing everyone else, Skipper, nobody thinks it actually means anything." She had a glint in her own eye that Kaidan thought was worrisome. Shepard exhaled sharply, looking out over the crew. Nobody was really paying them any attention. Tali had managed to convince Liara to dance with her and Garrus was chatting with Joker and Wrex. Engineering squad had challenged the CIC crew to some kind of drinking game or other while the marines were hooting and hollering on the far side by the weapons bench.
Kaidan felt very small just then. Shepard pursed his lips and shook his head slightly, irritation evident as he fixed Williams with another 'look'.
"It's ok, Commander, you don't have to. It-it's fine," he faltered, "Ash...knock it off, will you? He doesn't want to do it."
The hard stare softened as it focused on the lieutenant, but Kaidan couldn't hold his gaze. Shepard's cheeks were high in color. He cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders, clearly uncomfortable. Kaidan stared at his boots. This was a good a proof as his brain needed, he supposed, that his preoccupation with the commander would never go farther than his own fantasies.
Another sharp exhale brought his attention back to Shepard and he was surprised to find the commander moving towards him. They knocked foreheads together and Shepard pulled back, rubbing his forehead and laughing.
"Sorry," he murmured between chuckles, "I'm...not very good at this. I wasn't expecting you to move so suddenly."
"Kiss or I won't stop bugging you!" Ash interrupted, shaking the plastic plant at them again. Kaidan rolled his eyes at her.
"Alright, Chief, that's enough," Shepard reprimanded her. He put a hand on Kaidan's shoulder and mushed his face against the lieutenant's cheek quickly. Kaidan thought he felt a small peck, but couldn't be certain. He did know one thing, though. His blush was back in full force and he thought his ears were as red as Rudolph's nose. He turned his head to look at his CO and bumped noses with him. They both winced at the impact.
"I really am terrible at this," the commander apologized, stepping back quickly. "Happy?"
"For now," Ash replied slyly before scampering off to dance with Liara and Tali. Kaidan watched her leave, face still flaming. Shepard was rubbing the back of his neck again, looking everywhere but at the lieutenant.
"It really is ok, Comman-I mean, uh, Shepard. You didn't have to do that."
"All in the name of tradition, LT. Anyway...I should. Um. I should go..."
Kaidan nodded at the quickly retreating form and made a mental note to ask Williams when she was sober what she was playing at; she didn't seem to care nearly so much about pressing the mistletoe issue on anybody else. He retrieved a water bottle from one of the coolers and took up residence on the side of the Mako again, watching. Shepard would glance his way every once in a while, but immediately look away if he saw Kaidan looking back.
He could have kicked himself; Shepard probably only went for females. That was why he was so uncomfortable. After a few more minutes of watching miserably, he was thoroughly convinced Shepard wasn't going to come back and even talk to him anymore. He slipped away to crew deck; he could do more work on the console. Damn thing never seemed to work right.
"Kaidan...?"
He turned at the soft sound of his name. He could still hear the muffled goings-on of the party downstairs, though. It seemed to have gotten more intense. Probably a good thing he left. He blinked in surprise. Shepard was making his way towards him carefully, stopping next to the glowing console monitor.
"What can I do for you, Commander?"
Shepard tapped a few places on the console for a moment, then took another few steps closer.
"I wondered where you went. So I went looking. And here you are."
"Not many places I can be on the ship, sir."
He was stunned when Shepard pulled his needlenose pliers out of his hand and tossed them on the row of seats behind the console.
"Take a goddamn break for once, Kaidan. It won't kill you, will it?"
"No, sir..."
"Well, then? Why'd you run from the party?" Shepard took another step closer to him. The lieutenant felt his pulse speed up.
"Too much noise...I didn't want to be a burden on anybody by having a migraine, so I left."
Shepard nodded, pensive look on his face as he tapped the console again.
"I see. I thought I ran you off. I came to apologize. Again."
"Oh! Uh, no apology necessary. Williams was just being, well...Williams, I guess," he huffed a small laugh. Shepard nodded again, looking him full in the face this time, blue eyes locking with brown. He took one last step, putting them nose to nose again.
"Still, though. I think it needs to be said," Shepard retorted softly as he moved in. Kaidan's heart thudded so loudly in his chest he was sure the other man could hear it as he leaned closer.
"I'm afraid the mistletoe caught me off guard and it wasn't a very good kiss, LT. I'm sorry."
"Oh, uh...it's ok, Commander. N-No harm, no foul," he stammered, wondering where this was going.
"How many times have I told you? Call me Shepard."
The commander was standing incredibly close at this point. Kaidan could smell the rum and spices from the mulled apple cider he had been drinking all night. He took a small step back but stopped when a gentle hand briefly touched his arm.
"Alright. Shepard. Really, it's fine. I don't know what Ash was trying to do there, but it's really fine. Please don't worry about it."
Shepard gave himself a self-depreciating smile and stepped closer still.
"I'm not worried. I hope this one is better."
The lieutenant held his breath as warm, dry lips brushed across his, then settled on his cheek. Shepard's hands rested heavily on his shoulders and he couldn't help his own resting on the commander's hips. He felt Shepard smile before another soft kiss was laid on his cheek, stubble scratching just a bit.
"Merry Christmas, Kaidan. I'll see you in the morning..."
Kaidan put a hand to his kissed cheek, stomach fluttering and ears warm. Shepard gave a little smile and nod before slipping away into his cabin. It took him a few moments to whisper into the hushed quiet of the mess hall.
"Merry Christmas to you too, Shepard."