It was late, I was bored, etc. Not a good first piece for a first impression, but that's not my strong suit anyway! XD

100 pure, unadulterated 58 fluff. It's there to be cute, okay? Oneshot inspired by the way manga characters reference being in a manga. Hakkai gets all sad and Gojyo gets all... Gojyo-y? He defies adjectives. It's sad at first, but it gets funny, since Gojyo can't take anything too seriously.

Disclaimer: Does anyone really demand these? It's fanfiction! rolls eyes A'right. Saiyuki ain't mine. Yaddah yaddah. Wish I had it. Blah blah.

((This one's for 'Kai, because when you're depressed, I'm depressed, and then I start acting stupid.))

--

It was well after dark, and Hakkai was staring out the window, looking tired and young without his monocle and green uniform. "What will we do when this is over?" he asked with a tiny sigh.

"I've told you a million times. You can come live with me again, remember? Or are you so sick of me that you can't wait to get away?" Gojyo, shirtless with arms akimbo, watched his roommate disapprovingly. "Lighten up."

Hakkai didn't move or even look away from the night sky when the redhead stepped closer and sat on the bed in front of him.

"Hey, Gloomy, where's that Hakkai humor of yours? No fake smiles. I want a real one, for once."

"You know I'm not going to be coming back from this mission, Gojyo."

"What the hell're you talking about? Of course you are. Who else will remember to take my trash out on Thursdays?"

"You have plenty of choices, surely." The solemn youkai was still watching the stars immovably.

Gojyo leaned forward a few inches and brushed his lips against Hakkai's. At long last, Hakkai looked down from the heavens and looped his arms around the redhead's neck, holding him close as he was kissed with gentle familiarity.

When Hakkai regretfully pulled back, his face was emptily blank. "I still don't know what you mean when you kiss me."

"I mean that I love you. Would I do that otherwise?"

The smile he recieved was small, dry, and humorless. "Gojyo... You're one step away from being paid to do that."

Insulted, the halfbreed tugged out of the brunette youkai's embrace. "Oh, I see. So a kiss means nothing, coming from me. I was asking you to live with me, but that doesn't mean anything either, I guess. Is it just that a tramp like me isn't worth your time?"

"You don't understand me at all. You're so direct," Hakkai looked sad now, the only emotion Gojyo seemed able to evoke that night. "I'm not a happy ending person. I'm the one who dies in the next-to-last chapter. You know the character I mean. He dies to save someone he loves, who goes on to fall in love with someone else in that last chapter. The one where you say, 'Aw, he died! Well, at least those two are together now, and happy.' It's a good ending. I'm not part of it. I'm not supposed to be, and it would just ruin it for the others if I was. That's how it works. I know that." With a smile that didn't quite light his eyes, he brushed a strand of crimson hair out of Gojyo's scowling face.

"What does that make me? The idiot. The loyal fool who always gets left behind. The one who would do anything to reach someone who's always reaching for someone else. The only one who ends up alone, but no one really notices, because, after all, he doesn't really matter, does he? He'd rather die a hundred times than let the person he loves suffer anything, but he's always too late. He always messes up, because he can't do anything right, and he has to live with that." Gojyo grabbed Hakkai by the shoulders insistently. "That's all I am. That's all I'm worth. Can I at least, just this once, be allowed to do something right? I'd die for you Hakkai, but you seem to want to get killed anyway. Don't say things like that, you haughty asshole! I may not be worth living for, but at least, next time you get the temptation to throw yourself between Sanzo and a bullet, let me do it, okay?"

Hakkai blinked once. He blinked twice. "But Gojyo, it's you I'm saving."

"Well," it took a moment for him to realize that he didn't know what to say to that, "I thought I was a tramp."

"You said that, not me."

"No, you said I was a gigolo."

"No I didn't! I said you were insincere. You're the one who moves on in the last chapter. I shouldn't mean anything to you."

"Can't we have a sequel?"

"To what?"

"Uh, life? Oh, hell, I dunno." Inexplicably, Gojyo started laughing.

Hakkai couldn't help but join in, this time with a genuine smile.

"Maybe not." Hakkai chuckled, calming down.

"To a sequel?"

"To dying in the next-to-last chapter."

"I like that. How will we know when we've gotten there?"

"Um, there should be a climax, I suppose. Every story has to have one. And a showdown of some kind. The last chapter is probably the resolution."

"Like, and Preist Sanzo shacked up with Son Goku and Cho Hakkai took out the trash and Sha Gojyo decided that a life of drunken debauchery sounded pretty damn good?"

"No. Maybe, and Preist Sanzo was officially demoted and gave up religion in favor of homocide after Son Goku ate so much on his credit card that he was full and it melted, and Cho Hakkai got a practically free apartment."

"Hey now! What about Sha Gojyo?"

"Sha Gojyo? He got paid, but not too much. I daresay he was pretty cheap."

"What!? I don't think so, Cho Hakkai!" the redhead yelped, tackling his mischevious youkai roommate. There was a great deal of laughter, and Hakkai allowed himself to be pinned down easily.

"Alright then, how about this? And so Priest Sanzo and Son Goku denied the gossip about their relationship so violently that no one noticed that Cho Hakkai was sharing an apartment with the infamous Casanova, Sha Gojyo."

Gojyo grinned at the descriptor. "And they only had one bed." He leaned down and kissed Hakkai playfully.

Sanzo slammed the door open. "Will you two STOP GIGGLING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS?! I can't sleep with the damn noise!"

Gojyo grinned disconcertingly over at him from Hakkai's bed. "I suggest earplugs. It's gonna get louder." He turned back to Hakkai. "What was that you said about having a climax?"

"GOJYO!!"

--

Ooh, dirty jokes! Cover your eyes/ears, children! I thought up the little one-liner at the end when Hakkai said the word 'climax'. It just has dirty connotations, you know? Of course someone like Gojyo would pick up on it! What kinda idiot passes up a joke like that?

The "Read and Review" is kinda obvious, neh? That's what that button's there for! Click it! Constrictive criticism rocks! Destructive insults will be returned, twice as bad. Flame me and I'll burn you, baby.