"I'm a New York woman born to run you down,

'Cuz I want my lipstick all over your face,

Something, something about just knowing when it's right..."

Dancing with Damon had always seemed like dangling off the edge of a cliff with no safety net below. It was such a simple thing, just two people swaying to whatever beat surrounded them, but they were not just people and that was the problem.

Every look, every movement, every breath they took meant something more. It was a constant yearning to connect, always flirting on the edges of surrender.

As they turned gently together in front of the fireplace, Elena felt every emotion she'd ever had about him bubble up inside her. He overwhelmed her in every sense of the word, he made her dizzy and unsure yet he also made her more confident and more certain than she'd ever been before.

Her new vampiric emotions made everything even more chaotic than it had been before but it also brought her clarity. She could see now why she'd always been drawn to him. It was like she was waiting for something her whole human life and as soon as she changed she'd realized that she had been waiting for him.

Not him physically but the version of him that matched the version of her. Her human self was not equipped to fully understand everything he was because she had never experienced just what he was.

He had never hidden his vampire nature and her human nature had always held her back from accepting it fully. It wasn't that she couldn't be with him as a human. They would have worked, she knows this. But her vampirism had cemented parts of her that could have never fully grasped what it would have been to truly be with him when she was human.

She'd avoided thinking about Stefan's true nature because it was easier to pretend that nature didn't exist. He was always careful around her, always so human that she sometimes forgot.

Damon never hid. He never pretended or held back and now Elena was free to reciprocate everything he'd always given her.

She felt him push her gently away, spinning her around then pulling her back towards him a little harder than she was expecting. The force of it brought her closer to him than she thought it would and she only had a second to register the determined look on his face before his lips surged towards hers and captured them in a fierce kiss.

Elena gasped softly against him in surprise before giving in completely and beginning to kiss him back. They tugged at each other's hair, angling their heads to best attack each other's lips. It was almost bruising but it was the sweetest agony Elena had ever experienced.

She was so caught up in her feelings that when he gently broke the kiss and pushed her back it took her a moment to remember how to open her eyes. When she did he looked pained and heartbroken.

He muttered a soft, "I'm sorry." before turning around and walking out of the front door. The click of the door closing behind him snapped her out of her stupor.

She heard him pace on the porch for a few seconds before he stopped and became quiet. She could practically feel his frustration.

Without giving it much thought she followed him.

When she got outside she found him sat on the wall, leaning back against one of the pillars, eyes closed and a look of exhaustion on his face.

She walked towards him slowly, praying he didn't bolt as soon as she got too close.

Elena sat down opposite him and looked out over the front garden. It had been snowing on and off for the past two days and a blanket of white covered everything in sight. The stillness and silence of it comforted her as she took a deep breath and tried to find the words she wanted to say.

"Don't." His voice was soft and his eyes remained closed. "Please, just don't say anything right now. I shouldn't have kissed you. It was wrong. I'm wrong. You're a vampire now and your emotions are all over the place, I took advantage of that and I'm sorry."

He sounded broken, defeated and her heart ached.

"Damon..." She began, still trying to find the words she needed him to hear.

"You love Stefan. Whatever you're feeling for me right now, it isn't real. It will go away as soon as you get used to everything. I promise you, Elena, that you will figure this out and everything will go back to the way it was." His eyes were still closed and Elena wanted to scream at the nonchalance in his tone. It was so distant, so...detached. She hated the lifelessness of it.

"Look at me, Damon." She whispered. Elena put every emotion she could into her eyes and stared at him, willing his eyes to open.

He sighed deeply, clearly bracing himself for the worst.

Her eyes bored into his as soon as they opened and she registered the confusion that grew the longer he looked at her. When she felt she had his full attention she spoke.

"I feel everything, Damon. I'm overwhelmed and confused. I feel like I'm drowning all the time, like I never left that car and I'm still trapped, helpless, fighting against the blackness. I never wanted to be a vampire. I wanted a family, children someday. I wanted the whole Hallmark card fantasy." She paused and cleared her throat pushing past the lump that seemed to constrict her every word.

"When I woke up on that table and realized what I was I didn't think I would ever be able to come to terms with it. I never thought I'd survive it. I thought it was another cruel joke, one more punchline in the never ending tragedy that is Elena Gilbert." She shrugged, almost wanted to laugh just to break the tension.

"But then I heard you. Your voice it...it grounded me. I felt safe, like it would all be okay as soon as you walked inro the room. I know I'm a mess. I don't think I've ever not been a mess around you." She did laugh then. It was short, self mocking almost. "But I've also never been more myself than I am around you."

"Being a vampire...I don't want it. I wish with every fibre of my body that I could go back to being human. But with you...I don't fear it. I can be a vampire and I can be me too." She smiled at him, watching as he shifted nearer to her and his eyes became less conflicted, more hopeful.

"I do love, Stefan. I needed him and he needed me. We worked but I don't think we were ever meant to work forever. And it's not just because I'm a vampire and eternity is now a possibility. I've been feeling this way for a while now. I think I started realizing that Stefan and I weren't meant to last even before he left with Klaus." Damon squeezed her hand but remained quiet, eyes tracing every inch of her face.

"You're my forever, Damon. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. I'm sorry I hurt you and let you down and I'm sorry I was so selfish and couldn't choose when I should have. I guess, what I'm trying to say is...I want to live my second life properly. I don't want to be scared to make choices and I don't want to hold back because I'm worried about every little detail. I just want to be me and I think...no, I know, that I'm only ever truly me when I'm with you." She smiled, eyes watering and heartbeat pounding erratically.

She watched Damon's face become soft and warmth blazed bright in his eyes, he tugged her towards him, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing his forehead against hers.

Elena heard the soft thuds of snowflakes continuing to fall all around them and relished the perfection of the moment. She felt so peaceful, so safe and content. This was what true happiness felt like.

They pulled away from each other slightly, both smiling softly. She felt like a thousand words passed between them as they simply looked at each other.

Damon tilted his head back slightly and his eyes flickered above them before a smirk lifted one corner of his mouth.

Elena followed his gaze and let out a soft laugh as she caught sight of the mistletoe hanging above them. It was no doubt left there by Caroline after their impromptu Christmas party earlier in the week and Elena decided she'd have to send her a thank you note for her excellent decorating skills.

She glanced back down to find that Damon's smirk had transformed into the gentlest, most sincere smile she'd ever seen. He leaned towards her slowly, lifting a hand from her waist and cupping one side of her face. She leaned into him and closed her eyes as his thumb stroked her cheek softly.

"I love you."

It was sweet, simple, yet the gravity of the words settled around her and she finally understood the full meaning behind the phrase.

"I love you." He repeated it, more fiercely this time. Tears pricked her eyes as she opened them once more.

"I love you, too." She replied, strong and sure.

They leaned towards each other, happiness engulfing them and captured each others lips. It wasn't rushed or heated like every other kiss they'd ever shared had been.

It was a statement, a declaration. A promise that this was it, this was them and this was how they'd always be. Together.

"Oh, I'd rather die,

Without you and I"

a/n: I really hoped you guys liked it, especially you Kara, and I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and an awesome New Year! xx