Lilly groaned as she walked through the training grounds towards the hut where all the trainees sat down and ate (she called it a hut because of it's small size but it was the cafeteria within the training grounds).
'Great, I am going to have to socialize... I hate socializing...' She cursed under her breath. She was slightly nervous because this would be the first time she would be able to socialize with any of the trainees and she wasn't looking forward to it.
She was a quiet girl who had an emotionless face all the time, but her eyes would show her emotions to those around her - well, those who even dared to look into them.
She walked inside the small place and she got her small tray of food, which consisted of a small bowl of soup, two pieces of bread and one potato, and she sat down on her own on the furthest bench away. And everything was quite in the cafeteria - seeing as she was the first person to arrive.
It wasn't long before the cafeteria began to grow to life as an ocean of heads began to enter inside the building. Cadets were all grabbing their own trays and getting their pick of bread pieces, soup and potatoes. They all began moving to their tables and gathering around kids around their own towns or just friends they met during their training.
One male in particular was sitting next to a fairly confident male who seemed to be highly full of himself. Even though his friend seemed high egoistic, Marco didn't seem to share that same personality. His smile seemed more friendly and enjoyable than his friends. He let out a sigh, resting his head in his hand just thinking about how this was their first step to beginning their new lives.
"Exciting, isn't it?" He laughed, taking a sip of his drink and happened to notice a trainee who seemed to be by herself. While Jean was mid-sentence in his conversation, Marco had gotten up. Jean glared towards him, muttering to himself for his friend's rude behaviour in completely ignoring him.
Marco went over to Lilly and stood next to the lonely female, greeting her with a friendly smile. "Ah, sorry, I don't think I recognize you.. I'm terrible with faces." He chuckled, rubbing his nose with his finger shyly. "Ah, but you shouldn't have to sit alone. You can join me and my friend over there if you like. Though he can be a bit of a handful, heh."
Lilly had been looking down as she ate her food in silence as the rest of the trainees finished picking their food. Lilly looked up at a tall-ish figure with freckles, brown eyes and brown hair whom stood next to her. She kept an emotionless face but her eyes sparkled slightly in surprise at the trainee's offer.
"I do not recognize anyone here, so join the club." She said with a grumpy tone. "I wouldn't mind joining you and your friend, but if your friend tries to hit on me... he won't have any bones left." She said sternly before grabbing her tray and she went over and sat down at his table, glancing at his friend Jean. Marco rubbed the back of his head nervously at her comment about Jean. "Oh, haha... Well lets hope he won't do that then, huh?" He chuckled, only hoping Jean would be on good behaviour. Though there was no telling what he would do.
There weren't as many females here as there were males. Actually, he wouldn't pull it pass him if he tried to hit on her... he may he setting up his own friend here.
"Hey Jean, I brought over a friend. Haha.. Try to be nice, okay?" He asked, taking his seat back next to him. "Oi, Marco... Is that why you left me? You trying to pick up girls when we haven't even been here a whole day yet?" Jean grinned, nudging his friend. Lilly clicked her tongue because she was getting annoyed at their small conversation.
"W-What? No! It's not like that!" Marco said frantically. "Yeah sure! Heheheh! well, if you're not trying..." Jean looked over to Lilly and he had a smug look on his face. "What's your name? I'm Jean Kirstein, came all the way over here from Trost, yourself?"
When Jean asked her some questions and introduced herself, she looked to him with her usual face (emotionless) and her eyes were filled with small amounts of happiness that the guy was talking to her as well as Marco.
"I am Lilly. I will not tell my origin because I did not technically 'live' anywhere, being an orphan and all." She shrugged slightly as if her past did not bother her but her eyes showed sadness. Jean's grin turned more sour when she spoke so openly about her past. "Ah..." Marco nudged him, hoping that they hadn't already insulted her. "Sorry about that.. Uh, my name's Marco. Heh.. It's nice to meet you though Lilly." He grinned, as a few beads of sweat seemed to fall from his temple.
He gulped a little and looked at her. "So uhm.. Why did you want to join the military? If you don't mind me asking of course..." Lilly looked towards Marco, the sadness in her eyes retreating quickly to be replaced with a stern look.
"I joined because I wouldn't mind dying, I have nothing to live for... the only thing I want to do is help Humanity get rid of the Titans." She said with no expression before looking back down at her food as she slowly finished off her soup.
Both of the male's eyes seemed to grow wider as they heard her response, is that how she really felt? She was that willing to give herself up? Marco's eyes seemed to turn to a more softer, sad look to them as he gazed to the ground.
He hadn't expected her to be so open to talk about something so sensitive to everyone. Jean was more angered by her words than Marco was, pounding his fist onto the desk as he gritted his teeth. "So what? That's it? You're just going to throw your body as fodder to those bastards?"
Marco felt like Jean was being harsh and tried to intervene with: "Jean, please do-"
"No! This girl is pissing me off. The hell do you think that's gonna do for us anyways? The hell should I care anyways? I'm going to safe inside the inner walls. I got nothing to worry about, so why should I even bother waste my breath over someone as suicidal as this girl?" Jean spat, crossing his arms and putting on a smug look. "Tch, the important ones get the cozy life anyways, all those sent to their deaths are put there for a reason. But I guess you already figured that out, huh?" His question was directed at Lilly who seemed abnormally quiet.
Lilly looked at Jean with a glare that even scared their training instructor. "Being safe inside the walls is stupid! These walls are not safe, do people not fucking realize that?!" She shouted at Jean angrily, gaining attention from all the cadets within the cafeteria; her fists clenched but her facial expression stayed stoic.
"Those who want to die are those who have nothing to lose! I have no more family to lose! I have no friends to lose! I have nothing but my own fucking life to lose and I don't mind fucking losing it!" Lilly growled under her breath before she stormed out of the cafeteria and she sat down on the small porch just outside the cafeteria and she hugged her knees up to her chest.
Jean could only look away, it seemed that whatever she had to say, it wasn't going to convince him. Only when she left did he grab a bite of his soup and stuff it into his mouth with force. Angered by his pumped up rage and pissed off that someone would be so willing to just give up their life for nothing. He huffed in his food and just gave up trying to understand her.
"Tch, if she wants to be food for the titans, then let her. Why should I care?" He growled as he continued eating his food. Marco looked over to his friend and back to the door where she left from. He couldn't help but feel responsible... he was the one who asked her to join them. He could at least apologize on his behalf.
Chasing out the door after her he was relieved to see her just sitting outside, taking up a seat next to her. Instead of bringing up the subject and upsetting her more, he had his own idea. "Hey, have you ever looked at the stars from here?" He continued, speaking in a soft-caring voice. "You can see many more here than in the cities, it's beautiful, isn't it?"
Lilly did not look up at Marco or the night sky that he was referring to, she was clearly saddened by her small argument with Jean whom she just met and whom she already started to hate. She didn't mind Marco, he seemed like a nice guy, but he also seemed like someone who took on the guilt from those around him.
"Marco... why is your friend such a dickhead?" She asked bluntly, her knees lowering as her feet touched the floor and she looked to him slowly. Her face was expressionless but her eyes were glassy with a slight hint of tears itching to get out of the corners of her eyes.
He looked over to her, understanding her pain.. He knew how Jean could be a little... well... rude. But that was putting it lightly. He looked back in front of them, staring back up to the night sky.
"That's just how Jean's been, he's not good at being very social, that's all. I'm sure he doesn't mean to be as cruel as he is.." He said, just trying to help them both out. "I'm sorry.. I didn't he would say what he said to you..."
Lilly looked up at him, into his brown eyes. "I am somewhat glad you approached to me of all people to sit with you at the table, but your friend was being a huge dick. I don't mind speaking about my origin and my first name only, but other than that... I really couldn't care less if I died." She sighed slightly, peering over to Marco.
"Your friend does not understand me... nobody does. That is why I am so lonely..." She looked down slightly, her expressionless face was cracking slowly into a sad expression. "I never really had friends and I lost my family long ago... I wish I was able to live for something but for me, there is nothing to live for. But Jean, he has a lot of things to live for... he has friends that count on him and he probably has parents that worry about him..."
"You're only as lonely as you let yourself be." Marco said, looking over to her. "If you don't decide to trust anyone then how else do you expect to let anyone help you?" He asked, looking back up to the sky.
"I'm not saying what you can and can't do, I don't want you to think that.. But I don't think you should be so willing to join if you're only expecting yourself to give up your own life. There's so much more to this life than what you and I can ever imagine. We just got to get ourselves ready to face the trials ahead of us, right? We're human, we look out for one another, it's one of the greatest things about being who we are. It's so amazing, don't you think?" A small smile appeared on his face.
Lilly listened to his short speech about how important staying alive is and the potential life could give them. She grunted slightly as an answer to his last question about it being... amazing.
"When I do trust people... it ends up being thrown back at my face and I just ended up giving up on that person... I can't be bothered being depressed over those two-faced bastards anyways..."
She looked to Marco. "How can you stay so positive during times like this...?" She asked him with a curious look in her eyes.
Marco put on a smile towards her, rubbing his nose. "Ha, well I guess part of it is cause I never actually had anything bad happen to me, in all honesty. But then again, I think it helps others being around more positive vibes makes others feel better too." He said, looking back to her.
"Besides.. I don't think it's as much fun wasting your time being depressed and lonely as it is spending time with friends and just enjoying the time we have together. We live in a scary world.. I think it's best to cherish these moments as long as we can, you never know what could happen, you know? At least, I don't want to go down with any regrets, would you?" Lilly listened to him and she shook her head slightly as an answer.
"I guess you are right... being lonely isn't the best way to die... but I don't like people worrying about me, that's all." She sighed softly. "Even though I worry a lot about them a lot..." She murmured before looking back to Marco.
"M-marco, I am... glad, you decided to talk with me. It was... erm, sweet? T-thank you." She lent in and kissed his cheek gently. "T-tell Jean I am sorry for being the bitch that I am..." She said quietly before turning and walking off.
He was looking to the ground, playing around with some pebbles under his hands. The distraction caught him off guard from the kiss he received from Lilly, that made his cheeks glow up brightly. His eyes widened as he gently touched the spot she kissed him, if not for the darkness, his face would probably hold a fairly red colour to it.
"Ah, s-sure." He eventually muttered, even though she was far away from hearing his quiet mutter, he was stumbling slightly in shock as he got himself back up. 'Wow...' He grinned as he went to re-enter the dinning hall. 'Wait, would that be considered my first kiss?' Marco blushed at the thought.