Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or The Avengers.

And yes, Clint's sister is called Laura on purpose.

19 FEBUARY 1987

All I see is a flash of red and the entire car flips.

"MOM! DAD!"

"Honey, are you okay?"

"I'm-"

"We're all okay, mom."

"You three are gonna make it out of here okay? You're all gonna make it out of here alive."

I wake up in hospital and Barney tells me that mom and dad are dead.

2 JULY 1989

"You'll be okay, Laurie, won't you?" Laura's leaving. She's getting fostered without us.

"Yeah…" She says she'll be okay, but she doesn't know what it'll be like. There's loads of stories about kids in foster homes getting beaten. There's loads of stories about people being unhappy in foster homes. There's never any happy ones.

"She can always come back." Barney's lying on his bed, throwing a tennis ball in the air, catching it and repeating.

"I'm right here, you know, bear." Laura's all packed. She's leaving us. But she's moving on. She's going to be a new person. She's going to make something of her life and be a good person.

"Not for much longer."

"Keep in touch, okay?" I say.

"I'll try."

"We'll find you as soon as we turn 18, okay?" I promise. Ten more years.

"Okay."

"I love you Laurie."

"Love you too, Clint. I'll miss you so so so much. And you Barney. I love you both so so much."

"Bye Laura."

"Bye Barney."

"Bye Clint."

"Bye Laurie." And it's goodbye forever.

29 MARCH 1992

"I'm leaving Clint. I don't care if you come with me. I'm running away." Barney says to me one day when I'm eleven. I can't stand it here anymore. It's awful. I hate it. I hate every second of my life, at the orphanage, at school, everywhere.

"I'm coming too."

"You know if we leave…. Laura won't know where we are." We get a letter from Laura every two weeks, and I scramble enough money together to buy a stamp to send one two her every two weeks too. If I just stop replying one day, will she be okay? She doesn't need me anymore, right? She's nine this year.

"I know. She doesn't need us anymore. We're just excess baggage now. She got adopted, and now she's moved on."

"Clint, she loves you so much. She loves us both." It's like Barney's trying to convince me that I don't need to come. But I need to get away from here, and I don't think I can do it alone. "She needs to move on now."

10 APRIL 1992

I'm tired. Tired of walking and walking and walking with nowhere to go. Tired of having no food, only the scraps left in bins. Who the hell thought that this would be a good idea? A ten year old and a thirteen year old running away together with no plan or food, just getting out of there as soon as possible.

"Clint, what about this? A circus?"

"Yeah, okay."

12 JUNE 1998

I see swordsman in his trailer one night. "What are you doin'?" I ask from the doorway. He's crouched over, like he doesn't want anyone to see what he's doing.

"Me? I'm-" I walk in a bit further and cut him off.

"Is that money?"

"You blind kid?" It's always warm inside his trailer, and I think that's because he's always so cold himself. He works everyone as hard as they can, until we're almost dead, but he does do his job well. He's taught me a load of fancy tricks with knives and swords.

"Where'd you get it?"

"…Stole it."

"What?" I can't believe he'd do something like this, sure I was always a little bit scared of him, but that was mainly because he could kill me. I didn't actually think he was capable of doing something… like this.

"You wanna help me on my next job?" I can't believe he even asked me that.

"What? No!"

"You sure kid? It's a onetime offer." And one that I'll never be taking.

"I'm sure."

13 JUNE 1998

Barney comes up to me the next night. Something he rarely ever does anymore. We're not close anymore. He's nineteen now, and I'm seventeen. I've had an act for four years and he's been cleaning cages for six. "Clint, what the hell?"

"What?"

"Why'd you turn 'im down?"

"Who?"

"Swordsman."

"Oh. That." He asked Barney? Barney'll definitely leave. He would have left years ago if it wasn't for me. I think he feels like we failed Laura a lot by leaving. I know I do.

"I'm going Clint. Do whatever you want."

"I'm not going." I can't. I like it here. And maybe in one of the cities we go to, Laura'll be there.

"Okay. If you ever… you know… see Laura again… tell her I say hi." We're both thinking about her, remembering the pain we felt when she was forced to leave.

"You too."

"I'll miss you Clint."

"I'll miss you too Bear."

24 OCTOBER 1998

"So we're out of business?" I ask Carson, still not really believing what he's just told all of us.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Hawkeye. Come and get your last pay check tomorrow."

19 JANUARY 1999

It's been almost three months since the circus went out of business. I ended up joining a gang of some sorts, and I don't know how. They're planning a raid tonight and I'm involved. I've killed two people now, and I feel their blood on my hands every day. I tell myself that I was forced but I know that it was my choice to join these people, and therefore it's my fault these people got hurt. Once this gang found out about my skills with knives and bows, they realised that I could be useful within their ranks and now I'm their hitman. Laura wouldn't be proud.

This guy I'm fighting is good, not as good as me, but good. We're both wearing balaclavas and as he stabs me through my side and I wedge a knife in his stomach. I pull his balaclava off with my other hand.

"BARNEY! NO!"

I've just killed my brother.

20 JANUARY 1999

"Hi honey, can you tell me your name?"

"Who are you? Where am I?"

"You're in hospital sweetie. You were in a pretty bad fight. I'm Melissa. Do you know your name?"

"Yeah."

"Can you tell me?" I don't reply. I don't have the money to pay for healthcare. I think the nurse understands. "Well your heartrate and blood pressure are normal, so press the call button if you need anything. I nod slowly and she leaves the room. I pull out the IV drips and heart monitors and get changed, moving as fast as I can, and trying really hard to not rip the stitches because I know that I can't comeback. I run as fast as I can out of the hospital. I geet a bus out of the state. Because now there's another state on my list of where I've lost people. I lost my parents in Iowa, my sister in Wisconsin and my brother in Illinois.

26 APRIL 1999

I'm eighteen today. I told Laura I'd be there for her today. But I have no clue where she is. I have no idea and it hurts me so much.

26 APRIL 2002

I am now twenty one and I have killed more than double that number.

I am a mercenary now.

I am Hawkeye.