Broken Hearts
Gokudera stands in front of a door, his door, their door. But he doesn't open it, doesn't walk in, because he's afraid of what will happen if he does. He feels like shit, he feels many things right now;
Regret.
Anger.
Hollow.
Sick.
The list could go forever. And he knows that he looks like shit, he knows that his eyes are red for crying so fucking long, He knows that his hair looks like it'd just been blown with some of his dynamites. He knew that he fucking smelled like him.
Gokudera breathed unsteadily and rested his forehead against the cold door. God, his head was hurting so fucking much that he thought it would explode. He hasn't eaten anything since morning, and because of that his stomach has been growling almost non-stop for hours. But Gokudera wasn't hungry, far from that actually. He was almost sure if he would eat, everything would just come up right away. On top of it all he was tired, so freaking tired that he could just barely keep his eyes open.
After a few moments of trying to calm down, Gokudera pushed himself of off the door and searched his keys. With a shaking hand he pushed the right key in the lock and slowly reached to open the door. Gokudera held his breath as the door opened with a creak. His heart was racing so hard that he could hear it inside his head. After minute passed and nothing seemed to happen, Gokudera let out a relieved sigh and took a step in the apartment.
He tossed the keys to a little table that he knew was there, he didn't need lights to know where everything was. Shoes were thrown somewhere and jacket was dropped to the floor. Then Gokudera walked to the bathroom turning the lights on, grimacing little to the sudden brightness. Within few steps he reached the bath and turned the water on. He stared at the wall next to him while waiting for the bath to fill.
Maybe he shouldn't have come home after all… No, this isn't his home. It's Hibaris. Just like everything else in here is his. Only things that Gokudera did have were a closet for his clothes, two mugs and few casual things here and there. In fact he didn't even have a bed; he only had one side of it, sometimes not even that. Hibari had once actually dared to throw him of off the bed and said that he can sleep in the couch. And the bastard didn't even give a freaking pillow to him! Though in the morning he had apologised, naturally, Gokudera had been too angry to care.
Gokudera turned his attention to the bath and yelped as he noticed that the water was almost flowing over the edge. With one hasty movement he turned the water off and got to his feet. Gokudera stopped when he opened the first button of his shirt. He didn't want to take his clothes off. He didn't want to see what was under them. He didn't want to see the... marks.
But he had to; he didn't have any other option. With two shaking hands he opened the rest of the buttons and dropped the shirt on the floor. Then he opened his pants and let them fall to the floor. His boxers and socks weren't far behind.
Slowly Gokudera got in the bath, spilling some water to the floor while doing so. He knew if he didn't clean it up before Hibari got home he would be in trouble. But that certainly didn't bother him right now. It can be cleaned when he gets of off the bath.
Moaning lightly at the feel off hot water, he closes his eyes and let all his muscles relax. When he opened his eyes and looked down on himself, breath caught in his throat. There were kiss marks everywhere. Oh God. Why did this have to happen? How did this happen? He knew the answers but didn't want to remember. He just wanted to-
Blinking Gokudera brought his hand to his face and touched something wet on his cheek. He was crying. Again. He buried his face to his hands and tried to stop the tears that were already dropping to the water. It hurt so fucking much. Too much.
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Okay that was first chapter of this story, I know it's short but when I have checked the rest of the story I will upload this chapter again, just a bit longer. Ah, and I hate the story name ;/
So what did you think? Seriously, I'm terrified right now, about thinking what you will think of this.. thing xD (Oh God.. please try to bear with my english xD) Really tell me what you think
So back to the story.. Hmm.. well this is going to be 1859 fic with 8059 showing here and there :D Or not. Umm.. Yeah they're about twenty years old in this (I think..) And I'm going to warn that there will be lots of swearing (blame Gokudera not me xD) and blood.. and.. well you'll just have to see for yourselves :D
Till next time, Arrivederci