Disclaimer: Hermione, Severus, and the rest belong to J. K. Rowling. I am
only borrowing them.
PERHAPS
"Ten minutes," he thought as he look at the clock on the mantel. "Ten minutes till I'll have to face her and become the bastard that everyone thinks I am." Setting his book down, Severus wearily rose from his chair and crossed his chambers. Taking a deep breath the paused at the mirror. Merlin, how he hated what he saw. Years of the Cruciatus Curse, torture, and murder showed on the face reflecting back at him. "Maybe I am the monster they would like me to be," he whispered to the empty room. Putting on one of this infamous sneers, Severus turned to face the day.
**********
From behind his desk, he watched his seventh year students file in the classroom. He looked for her but all he saw were the happy faces of this students that even the prospect of double potions with Hogwart's most hated professor couldn't dim. They should have inspired him or at least given him a flicker of hope, but all he could feel was despair. With the coming war pounding at the castle gate, he wondered how many of those "happy faces" would fall like so many already have? Or would they choose to follow his lead and sell their soul to Voldemort? Lost in his thought, Severus almost didn't notice her entrance. As usual she enter the classroom a few paces behind her friends, Potter and Weasley. "Her friends?" he questioned himself, "Why cant they see beyond their narcissistic 18 year old selves and notice the torments that Hermione has suffered this year?" Glancing at the clock on the dungeon wall, he began class.
"Today, we will be brewing The Acutusaum Potion. It is used to sharpen your sense of hearing and is often used by mediwizards to relieve temporary hearing loss in patients. You will find the instructions on page 381 in your text books." Severus stood from behind his desk and added almost as an after thought, "Since the potion must steep overnight you will be testing this on each other tomorrow."
Severus turned to see a cringing Longbottom," Have something to add Longbottom?"
"No, Professor," he murmured.
Severus watched how Hermione tried to flash a small reassuring smile to Longbottom. Her smile was meant to be warm and comforting but over the last year it has turning into simply a mere muscle contraction. "At least she puts forth an effort", he scolded himself, "unlike someone else...."
"Um..Professor?"
Waking him from his reveille, "What is it now, Miss Granger? Spending a little too much time with Longbottom? Need someone to hold your hand, too?" He snapped out of habit.
Trying to ignore the snickering from the Slytherin side of the room, "No, it's just that..." she faded off.
Sighing as he spoke, "Spit it out girl."
"It's just that you were staring at me. Did I do something wrong?" she whispered in his direction looking at him with those desperately sad eyes.
Shooting a cold look over his shoulder to quiet the growing laughter of his house, he turned back to Hermione and said, "10 points from Gryffindor for impertinence, Miss Granger."
"But..."
Stooping down and moving his face within inches of hers, Severus said with a low growl, "Shall I make it 20 points and a detention?"
Casting her eyes down, "No, Professor" Hermione spoke softly.
Turning his back to her, Severus returned to his desk. With one final glance around the room he fell back into his chair. "Yet again 'Snape-The- Evil-Git' reared it's greasy head, couldn't for once I show compassion or at least something besides contempt?" he questioned himself. Not that a year ago he would have cared. But now, after all the needless suffering she has experienced over the last year he felt a certain bond with her. Severus didn't know for sure what had cause the change in Hermione. Theories had been rehashed over and over again in the staff room and the current favorite had something to do with Viktor Krum and an indiscretion with an Italian heiress. Not that he put much faith in the current rumor because somehow it had the taste of a Malfoy being involved. But what he did know was that no matter what happened she needed to recover if not for herself for what was to come with Voldemort. He had another reason, though he could barely admit it to himself, he had grown to care for her over the last few months and didn't want her to look back at the ruins of her life with bitter regret like he did.
Checking the clock, he wondered where the time went. "You should be done with the potion by now. Weasley, Potter pass out the jars. And make sure you seal the jars tightly. Mr. Filch has better things to do they clean up after careless seventh years."
Leaning back once more in his chair, Severus lost himself in thought. "Today will be the day," he told himself, "today I stop her before she goes to her next class. I will tell her that I understand that even when one small moment in time makes it feel as if everything has fallen apart that she doesn't have to wallow in her pain." He knew she didn't need to be coddled, she got enough of that from McGonagall and Dumbledore. She needed someone to remind her that she is strong enough to overcome whatever happened and not let it eat her alive. But mostly, Severus wanted to tell her not to become him.
The bell signaling the end of class rang and Severus stood up from behind his desk. He watched as most of the students grabbed their bags and rushed from the room eager to escape the confines of the dungeons. Severus could feel her name pressing against his lips as she walked out the door. Releasing a breath he hadn't realized that he held, he turned to enter his office. With a backwards glance he looked at the place where she has set for the last six years. "Perhaps tomorrow...." he said to the empty room. And with that he entered his office and quietly shut the door.
PERHAPS
"Ten minutes," he thought as he look at the clock on the mantel. "Ten minutes till I'll have to face her and become the bastard that everyone thinks I am." Setting his book down, Severus wearily rose from his chair and crossed his chambers. Taking a deep breath the paused at the mirror. Merlin, how he hated what he saw. Years of the Cruciatus Curse, torture, and murder showed on the face reflecting back at him. "Maybe I am the monster they would like me to be," he whispered to the empty room. Putting on one of this infamous sneers, Severus turned to face the day.
**********
From behind his desk, he watched his seventh year students file in the classroom. He looked for her but all he saw were the happy faces of this students that even the prospect of double potions with Hogwart's most hated professor couldn't dim. They should have inspired him or at least given him a flicker of hope, but all he could feel was despair. With the coming war pounding at the castle gate, he wondered how many of those "happy faces" would fall like so many already have? Or would they choose to follow his lead and sell their soul to Voldemort? Lost in his thought, Severus almost didn't notice her entrance. As usual she enter the classroom a few paces behind her friends, Potter and Weasley. "Her friends?" he questioned himself, "Why cant they see beyond their narcissistic 18 year old selves and notice the torments that Hermione has suffered this year?" Glancing at the clock on the dungeon wall, he began class.
"Today, we will be brewing The Acutusaum Potion. It is used to sharpen your sense of hearing and is often used by mediwizards to relieve temporary hearing loss in patients. You will find the instructions on page 381 in your text books." Severus stood from behind his desk and added almost as an after thought, "Since the potion must steep overnight you will be testing this on each other tomorrow."
Severus turned to see a cringing Longbottom," Have something to add Longbottom?"
"No, Professor," he murmured.
Severus watched how Hermione tried to flash a small reassuring smile to Longbottom. Her smile was meant to be warm and comforting but over the last year it has turning into simply a mere muscle contraction. "At least she puts forth an effort", he scolded himself, "unlike someone else...."
"Um..Professor?"
Waking him from his reveille, "What is it now, Miss Granger? Spending a little too much time with Longbottom? Need someone to hold your hand, too?" He snapped out of habit.
Trying to ignore the snickering from the Slytherin side of the room, "No, it's just that..." she faded off.
Sighing as he spoke, "Spit it out girl."
"It's just that you were staring at me. Did I do something wrong?" she whispered in his direction looking at him with those desperately sad eyes.
Shooting a cold look over his shoulder to quiet the growing laughter of his house, he turned back to Hermione and said, "10 points from Gryffindor for impertinence, Miss Granger."
"But..."
Stooping down and moving his face within inches of hers, Severus said with a low growl, "Shall I make it 20 points and a detention?"
Casting her eyes down, "No, Professor" Hermione spoke softly.
Turning his back to her, Severus returned to his desk. With one final glance around the room he fell back into his chair. "Yet again 'Snape-The- Evil-Git' reared it's greasy head, couldn't for once I show compassion or at least something besides contempt?" he questioned himself. Not that a year ago he would have cared. But now, after all the needless suffering she has experienced over the last year he felt a certain bond with her. Severus didn't know for sure what had cause the change in Hermione. Theories had been rehashed over and over again in the staff room and the current favorite had something to do with Viktor Krum and an indiscretion with an Italian heiress. Not that he put much faith in the current rumor because somehow it had the taste of a Malfoy being involved. But what he did know was that no matter what happened she needed to recover if not for herself for what was to come with Voldemort. He had another reason, though he could barely admit it to himself, he had grown to care for her over the last few months and didn't want her to look back at the ruins of her life with bitter regret like he did.
Checking the clock, he wondered where the time went. "You should be done with the potion by now. Weasley, Potter pass out the jars. And make sure you seal the jars tightly. Mr. Filch has better things to do they clean up after careless seventh years."
Leaning back once more in his chair, Severus lost himself in thought. "Today will be the day," he told himself, "today I stop her before she goes to her next class. I will tell her that I understand that even when one small moment in time makes it feel as if everything has fallen apart that she doesn't have to wallow in her pain." He knew she didn't need to be coddled, she got enough of that from McGonagall and Dumbledore. She needed someone to remind her that she is strong enough to overcome whatever happened and not let it eat her alive. But mostly, Severus wanted to tell her not to become him.
The bell signaling the end of class rang and Severus stood up from behind his desk. He watched as most of the students grabbed their bags and rushed from the room eager to escape the confines of the dungeons. Severus could feel her name pressing against his lips as she walked out the door. Releasing a breath he hadn't realized that he held, he turned to enter his office. With a backwards glance he looked at the place where she has set for the last six years. "Perhaps tomorrow...." he said to the empty room. And with that he entered his office and quietly shut the door.