Disclaimer: The property of Person of Interest doesn't belong to me and I only use aspects of it for entertainment purposes only :D
Pre A/N: Happy Turkey Day everyone :) So I've had this story sitting on my computer. Yeah, what's new right. I think I had intended for the holidays last year but never did anything with it so hear it is. My sincerest apologies to any atrocious or obvious mistakes as this is unbeta'd. Feel free to let me know if there are any problems since there is always the ability to fix things. With that out of the way, enjoy the story :)
Spending Time
"Taylor can you help me take out the ham?" She yelled from the kitchen.
"Sure mom." He got up off the couch and went to her. When he saw the food on their island table, he laughed as he put on an extra pair of oven mitts. "You sure you have enough food mom?" Leaning down, Taylor took one end of the hot pan and helped his mom lift it to the table, putting it next to the mash potatoes.
Removing the gloves, she cleaned her hands on her apron. "Well I do hope that everyone can show up. Then again, I heard that they're working so who knows."
Taylor waved away her doubt. "C'mon mom, nothing will stop Mr. Badass from coming to see you."
Joss sighed at Taylor's nickname for John while putting the finishing touches. She had arranged for a Thanksgiving dinner and invited the team along with her ex Paul. "How long are you going to keep calling him that?"
Her son gave a hearty laugh. "When he stops being badass Mom. You should have seen him. He had no fear and was so cool when he came to save me from those guys." Taylor definitely liked knowing that a guy like John had his mother's back. It was more than he could say for his dad. As much as his mother tried to protect him, he remembered the fights and violence between them. He constantly wished that he was stronger so that he could protect her. It was tough to watch his mom struggling with it all, to hear muffled crying from her bedroom. "Does dad have to come?" He finally asked.
At the mention of her ex, Joss shook her head before pulling her son into a hug. "Baby, I just want to see how he's doing. Even though we aren't together anymore, a part of me will always love him, especially because he gave you to me." Joss squeezed tightly, remembering the struggles of trying to conceive after finishing up their tours and how close they came to giving up.
She untied the apron from around her waist and threw it on the counter top. She saw Taylor smile as he looked around at the food.
"Are you sure all this food is needed?" Taylor asking as the aroma reaches his nose and his stomach rumbled, reminding him how he skipped lunch.
"You remember Shaw and her bottomless stomach don't you?" Joss smoothed out the wrinkles from her dress. She chose a red dress that just reached below her knees and was flattering in showing her figure and a tasteful amount of cleavage. While waiting for the food to cook, Joss took the downtime to curl the ends of her hair and add a small amount of make up. Not wanting to find a mirror, she just asked Taylor "How do I look?"
After taking a long look, he gave her a thumbs up. "You look great mom."
Joss was relieved. "I'm not making any promises Taylor but I might save you a piece of pecan for being honest." When she gave him a wink, they both laughed. Just then, they heard a knock. "Can you get that honey?"
Taylor nodded his head and left towards the front door. Looking through the peephole, his mood soured slightly when he saw it was his father on the other side. "It's dad" he announced before undoing the chain and lock. Pulling the door open, Taylor gave his dad a nod of acknowledgment before moving out of the way so that he could come inside.
Stepping over the threshold, Paul took off his jacket and hung it on a hook next to the door. After smoothing out his clothes, he turned to his son that had finished relocking the door. When nothing happened, he spread his arms in front of him. "Aren't you going to give your dad a hug?"
"I guess" he muttered under his breath before closing the distance and allowing himself to be pulled into a hug. Taylor didn't hate his father but there was no doubt that he held resentment towards him, especially because he had hurt his mother the way he did. That was why he had become so weary of any potential suitors. His mom still didn't know but Taylor had seen an heard her at times crying after his dad left. That was why he promised himself that he would never let his mom feel that low again.
"How's school going?" Paul knew that things were still strained between Taylor and him. His answers to any of his questions were quick and short and it wasn't any different this time, telling him that he was maintaining a 3.9 GPA. He was happy to receive an invitation and hoped that Joss would maybe reconsider them. He was getting help for his PTSD but it was becoming irritating when his worker would constantly tell him to be patient with the long process. Paul was confident that he had his anger under control and if it was up to him, he would have gotten the papers saying he was alright ages ago.
Any further conversation with Taylor died after that one answer about his grades and they pulled away. The silence was deafening to Paul as he rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably. It just showed how much he wasn't in his kid's life because they lacked any topics to hold a conversation outside of the usual concern for Taylor's grades. If only Joss would've had more understanding back then, this wouldn't have happened. "So where is your mom?" He finally asked.
Taylor pointed towards the kitchen and left to have a seat on the living room couch without saying another word. Shrugging in indifference, Paul went over and saw Joss fiddling around with something on a plate. He was amazed that the years continued to be kind to her. She was still amazingly beautiful and the dress she wore heightened it more if that was possible. He was curious as to why she had made so much food albeit he wasn't complaining because everything looked delicious. "Feeding an army Joss?" he finally greeted. When she turned around, he noticed a sparkle in her eye but it wasn't what he had wanted to see.
"Paul!" she exclaimed, cleaning her hands on a dish towel and rushing over to give him a big hug. As much as they had a rocky last few years in their marriage, she still wanted to try and be friends with Paul. After pulling away, she put about some distance between them, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. "How are you?"
Paul had been hurt that she was standing so far away. Joss still only saw their relationship as being nothing but friendship. He hid his irritation as he answered her. "I've been okay, seeing the doctors at the clinic. It's been slow but I think it's working" he lied, again thinking the program was going too slow for his liking.
"Glad to hear it. I know it will work. They helped me too. Are you working?" Joss turned her body back to decorating the gingerbread cookies she let cool.
"Yeah, had a construction gig for about a month now. Let me help you with that" he offered. Joss smiled and held out a piping bag to him.
"Thanks" she said with a bright smile as she moved over to allow Paul to stand next to her. "I'm glad to hear that you're doing well. How are the meetings? Sometimes they can be a handful if you are not in the mood to hear anything."
Paul chuckled. "No kidding, especially when they keep telling you that you aren't well yet. I'm feeling fine."
Joss paused for a minute. "But you're still going right? You know you need to have them officially tell you that you're better. There is a reason why they are the professionals." Joss dotted the last eye before putting the edible treat on the tray with the others. "There we go." Paul finished too and did the same thing. "Again thanks, I need to make sure that there is plenty of food."
After looking towards the table, Paul was curious as to why Joss made so much as he thought it would just be the three of them. "Are you expecting some company Joss?" He was a little annoyed when he saw her head nod, wanting to spend time alone with her.
"Yup, just a few more friends. You haven't met any of them but they're great." She was still hoping that their newest case wouldn't hold them up so they would be able to come. Turning her back to Paul, she tilted her head to see Taylor still on the couch and sighed. She was hoping that maybe Paul and he could get along better this time. "Sorry about Taylor. He still has trouble forgiving you."
Paul leaned back against the counter. "Maybe if you hadn't been so quick to file for divorce, we could have worked things out."
"Damn it" Joss muttered under her breath. She hated having this conversation with him. She was not in the mood to argue about why she wanted him out of their lives again. Instead, she just turned to face him and said "So you were just expecting me to look the other way when I caught you on the floor of our kitchen with a gun in you hand? Can we please not talk about this again? You know why I did what I did. Okay?" Then Joss heard a knock. "Can we please just have a quiet night tonight Paul?" She asked before disappearing behind the wall separating the living room and kitchen.
Paul followed and watched as Joss opened the door. From her body language, she was quite happy to see the group of people on the other side. The first man was short, had on a nice suit and vest, probably loaded. The second Paul had recognized as her partner Fusco. Joss had introduced them a few months back when they all bumped into each other at Lyric's Diner because he needed her for work. The last guest, a dark haired woman, oddly looked to be angry. He could hear Joss greet them all.
"I'm so glad that you can make it." Joss said happily.
"Well thankfully Detective Carter, the case had wrapped up with time to spare. Thank you for expanding your invitation to all of us as well seeing as I would assume that this was more of a family gathering." Finch said politely as he limped his way inside after Joss moved aside, putting his coat on the hanger.
"Oh hush Finch, I wanted to ask you here. I consider you guys my friends after all." Joss had to bite back her laugh when she saw Shaw with the usual scowl on her face. "What wrong Shaw?"
She looked right at her. "I'm hungry. The guy didn't give me any time to eat a damn thing."
Joss smiled, glad that it was just typical Shaw problems. "Well you are lucky that I was in the mood today to make a lot of food knowing you were coming."
Her mood instantly brightened. "See Carter, that's why I like you. You know exactly what makes a girl like me happy." Shaw was still surprised at how well she got along with Carter. She thought that Cole was the only person that she could stand but Carter just got her. That and she knew exactly what to say to brighten up her mood. Guess that's why Reese asked her what he did early. Hopefully what he had planned on getting her will have these two stop pretending and get into bed already. Albeit it was fun to bet how long it would take, Shaw couldn't believe that they really believe they were just friends. Not with those hot looks they gave each other that she witnessed on many occasion.
"I'm starting to think that we are only friends because I feed you" Joss joked, knowing that there was more to their friendship than that.
After dropping off her things, Shaw went straight to the kitchen without giving Paul anything other than a nod of acknowledgement. Joss almost laughed at the strange look on Paul's face, obviously wondering how she met someone like Shaw. Instead, she turned back to the last person with a bright smile. "Glad you could clear room on your busy schedule Lionel." She gave him a big hug before dropping off his coat too.
"Well it was sweet of you to think about inviting me. I think you might have your hands full with G.I. Jane and her bottomless stomach though."
Joss waved it off. "I think that I made enough that even Shaw won't be able to finish it." They both laughed as she closed the door, slightly disappointed that there was one member of the team still missing.
Fusco took a look around, quickly waving at her son that was still on the couch. "I notice that the bane of my existence isn't here yet."
"Aww, missing John Fusco? You could have fooled me." Joss teased.
He gave a sarcastic laugh. "Please, that guy is about as welcoming as getting shot in my ass." He scowled at the memory. "I was asking more for your sake."
"My sake?" Joss repeated, clearly confused by what he meant.
It was then that Fusco noticed Paul and changed his mind about saying anything, instead just waving his hand dismissively. He brushed past Joss but could feel her eyes on his back as he greeted her ex-husband before extending a hand. "Hey, how's it going Paul?" He had met him once when picking up Joss so she could help with a case. Being an ex himself, he could sense some tension from the man and wondered what his story was but never really asked as it wasn't his place.
Paul took a moment to look at Fusco before shaking his hand. He could hear the smaller woman enjoying the food behind him with her loud chewing and shameless burping. Paul did his best to ignore it. "Doing okay, living day to day." He had overheard his comment while at the door and was curious. "So who is John? A CI of yours?" He never remembered Joss mentioning him before.
Fusco maneuvered around Paul to get into the kitchen. "Not exactly" he answered before addressing the other person in the kitchen. "C'mon Shaw, save some for the rest of us."
She unabashedly spoke with her mouth full. "It's not my fault that Carter can make an awesome meal. You should try it Lionel" she said in a sugary sweet voice. "You might have a longer marriage."
"Shut up!" He said louder than he wanted, not at all amused by the comment.
Joss floated in, hearing the out burst. "Everything okay?" When she saw Fusco looking ready to kill Shaw and Paul's obvious confusion at the situation, she knew she would have to do some explaining. "Paul, the woman that has been devouring her fill is Shaw" she said, knowing full well that she didn't introduce herself. She kept things vague as she was unsure what alias she preferred unlike John and Harold. "She's a friend that I work with on occasion too." Putting a hand to his back, Joss directed Paul to the living room where Harold and Taylor were in conversation about something. "And that is Harold Birch, an investment banker that I met on a case."
At the mention of his name, Harold lifted his head then stood up before limping over to them. "Yes, Detective Carter was kind enough to keep checking up on me even after helping me."
As they shook hands, Paul offered a small smile. "Yeah, she has quite the heart. I'm Paul, her ex-husband."
Harold nodded his head, remembering a photo of what he initially thought was Joss's husband fall from the visor while removing the surveillance equipment from her car once her case was closed. After the shaking ended, he turned towards her. "Jocelyn, I wanted to let you know that Mr. Warren is on his way. He informed me that he made a small detour although he didn't tell me where." He was careful to use aliases as well.
"That's fine. I guess John likes to be fashionably late" she said with a sarcastic tone.
Hearing that name again caused Paul's ears to perk up. He couldn't help but ask "So this John guy is another friend of yours?"
Shaw's loud laugh caused everyone look at her. "I would like to say again that I don't believe friends look or say things like the two of you do." She then bit down on a piece of chicken.
"Shut up Shaw" Joss demanded before addressing Paul's question. "Yes, he's another friend." She then stared at Shaw to make sure she would be quiet. Thankfully her attention was back on the food. "Harold and John work together so the case brought him into my circle too." It was another small lie.
Taylor got up from the couch and made his way towards the kitchen. He was curious as to why his mom didn't say anything about John rescuing him or saving her. Maybe it was because it was his dad. As much as he still had some love for him, Taylor knew that there was something between his mom and John but he just couldn't figure it out.
Making his appearance, Shaw greeted Taylor as she moved over to let him at the food. She was already on her second plate.
Joss felt relaxed although he'd mind constantly drifted to John and if he was alright. It had been an hour since everyone else arrived and her food had been a hit, especially with Shaw who ate five plates worth. Joss was jealous because she knew the woman wouldn't gain a pound. Now everyone was gathered in the living room with their drink of choice along with an offering of a story. Joss leaned back in the chair she was sharing with Paul as Fusco talked about a case he had worked on. She had felt him move his arm to be behind her. When she looked at him, Paul was looking back at her and Joss gave a kind smile which he returned. There was still a place for him in her heart but their time had passed. Her hand started tapping the arm rest as she debating on grabbing the burner phone hidden in her nightstand and calling John.
Paul noticed this and wondered what had Joss nervous. He had a good time although he wished they could have had more privacy so he could ask her if there was a chance they could try again.
"Excuse me Paul" Joss said, standing up and walking down the hallway to her bedroom. Sitting down, she dug through the drawer until she found the phone. Joss didn't see any texts or missed calls from John. She had a habit of worrying about him because of his untraditional job and the dangers it presented. She shouldn't be this worked up. Joss knew John could take care himself. Even with that fact, she couldn't help it because of how much he had come to mean to her. Having Paul here reminded her of a time when she thought that she would be happy, that Paul and she would be together forever. The sad reality was that didn't happen and she swore that her heart wouldn't allow anyone to get close like that again.
Joss gently clutched the phone at the fact that John had easily bypasses her defenses and grew closer with each passing day. Shaw was right. The flirting and stares weren't things that only friends did. When John smiled, Joss saw a semblance of the man he was, kind, vulnerable, affectionate, caring, protective. These words were what described him, not the monster that he felt he was. Joss felt privileged to be the one to witness his slow transformation into the man he was today.
"Dammit John" she cursed when the phone once again went unanswered. Their friends said he was doing something before he got here but Joss had to make sure he was alright, hear his voice saying her name. If something happened to him...
A knock at the door pulled Joss out of her thoughts and she saw Paul standing, looking curiously at her. "Everything okay Joss?"
She made sure to wipe at her eyes that had become suspiciously moist before facing him. "Yeah, fine."
"Worried about your friend?" He knew there was something going on with Joss and this John guy. He could make out the small trace of tears under her eyes.
"He'll be fine. He knows how to take care of himself." At least that's what she told herself. Joss knew John had a tendency to get into situations that were over his head.
"What does he do?" Paul asked.
"He works in a security firm that was hired by Harold." She offered as an explanation.
"Why have you never told me about him?" He knew that he had no right but he couldn't help but be curious about the guy since Joss had clearly been wondering where he was.
Joss got annoyed as she stood up, fixing her dress. "I didn't know I had to report to you every time I make friends Paul."
He scratched the back of his head nervously, hating how this was turning into an argument. "It's not that Joss. I meant that I just don't like a stranger around my son is all."
Joss scoffed at him. "Trust me Paul, these are good people. Taylor trusts them too." She defended. "Or would you like to question them yourself." As much as Joss still cared for Paul, she didn't appreciate his accusatory questions towards her friends.
"Joss, you know that's not what I meant." He took a step into her room. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something else, about us."
"What do you mean Paul? We can't be what we use to be. I know that you aren't taking the help seriously. They let me know about your progress" Joss explained when he asked how she knew. "That just tells me that you still don't believe there is anything wrong with you."
"There isn't. I can control my anger."
"What about right now with the way you accused my friends of being a bad influence around your son? You just jump to conclusions and think everyone is against you when that's not true."
"Dammit Joss, why do you have to make things so difficult? If you had just given me another chance..."
"I did and you lost it when I felt like you were putting me and Taylor in danger. Remember?" Joss took a breath to calm herself down. "Look Paul, I'm not going tonight with you. As much as you don't want to hear it, we had our chance."
"Mom, there is someone at the door" Taylor yelled from the living room."
"Coming" Joss responded as she made her way towards the living room. When she was close enough, she placed a sympathetic hand on Paul's shoulder. "I'm sorry" was the only thing she said before walking past him.
When Joss got back to the living room, she saw a look of concern on Taylor's face. She just gave a reassuring smile as she heard the knocking. Hopeful that it was the last of her guest, she undid the locks and opened the door without checking. Joss couldn't stop the smile as John stood there with a smile of his own. She admired how John decided to ditch the suit for something casual, wearing a dark blue polo shirt, blue jeans, and sneakers. Joss unconsciously licked her lips as she admired how the shirt clung to him in all the right places, causing her mind to run into the gutter briefly.
Pushing the thoughts away, Joss noticed a brown bag in John's hand and wondered if that was the cause for his delay.
"Aren't you going to invite me in Carter?" He asked politely.
"I'm not sure since you were so rude and all coming to my gathering over an hour late." The banter was all she could do to keep herself from hugging John because she had been worried.
"Well I did go out of my way to bring you a gift" then lifted the bag.
"A gift?" She was shocked, thinking it was food at first. Joss was touched by the gesture. "You didn't have to do that."
"You're right, I didn't but I wanted to." She stepped to the side and let him in. After closing the door, Joss made a move to grab the bag but he lifted it just out of reach. "Later" John said simply, chuckling at the scowl.
Joss mumbled something about using his height unfairly before leading him to the kitchen. Greetings were exchanged between John, Taylor, Harold, Lionel, and Shaw, who were still in the living room. Reaching the kitchen, they were greeted by Paul who Joss introduced to John before getting a plate ready for him.
John placed his gift high on the fridge before extending his hand to Paul. He had done enough research into Joss's life to know what happened between the two of them and wasn't a fan of the fact that Paul chose his pride over a loving wife when it came to getting help for his PTSD. John was grateful to Joss because it was her kindness that helped him get through the lowest point in his life.
Paul reached over, giving John's hand a tight squeeze as he wondered what exactly was going on with Joss and him. The way he caught her upstairs told him there was more going on between the two of them than what she was letting on. He then let go of John's hand.
Joss, oblivious to what the two men were thinking, handed him some food which he took gratefully. "You're lucky I made enough to feed all of you."
John smiled kindly at her. "You didn't have to do all of this Joss."
She returned it. "You're right but I wanted to." Throwing back his words with a playful wink. "Now go get comfortable with everyone else, I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Alright, let me know if you need any help with anything."
"Will do. Now shoo you. Go enjoy yourself." Joss then pushed him out back to the living room.
Once he was gone, Paul spoke up. "Interesting guy. Doesn't look like someone who's in the security business." His eyes drifted to the gift that lay on top of the fridge, his curiosity for its contents growing. "You go on and meet up with your friends Joss."
"Are you sure?" Joss was suspicious about his change in attitude. It sounded like Paul was ready to pick John apart but he didn't.
"Yeah, it's okay." After giving him another look, she walked away. Paul waited to make sure she was truly gone before grabbing the bag and bringing it to the table. He removed the small, black box that was inside. When he lifted the lid, Paul's eyes widened at the gun that lay inside along with an empty clip on a bed of red velvet. What kind of guy was this John that he was giving Joss a damn gun?
Before he could ponder it further, someone cleared their throat. Paul found himself looking at a very upset Joss catching his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. She crossed her hands over her chest before giving him a hard glare. "What are you doing?" He couldn't come up with an answer. Joss was going into interrogator mode. She took one step closer and noticed the open box that lay on the table. She then looked over at the fridge to confirm her suspicions before looking back at him. "Really Paul?"
He quickly went on the defensive. "I was just concerned Joss, that's all. Then I find that this guy is giving you a gun, something that has no business being in the same house as our son."
"So says the guy who had a pistol clutched tightly in his hands when his son was just upstairs." She walked over to him, taking a moment to throw a brief smile towards John's gift before replacing the lid. "You had no right to do this Paul. I didn't think that you had the nerve to do this. You're acting jealous."
"It's because I want there to be another chance with us." He admitted.
Joss felt her anger slip, replaced by pity for the man before her that truly thought that they could be something again. She knew better though. From what she saw today, there was no doubt in her mind that she would only be inviting pain and heartache if she considered trying again. "Paul, you know it isn't that simple. I'll always love you for what we had and for having Taylor but we aren't the same people we were when we first got married."
"Because of John right? I'm guessing that he pretty much bought you out?" His eyes drifted to the closed box.
"No Paul, he saved my life so that my son didn't lose his mother and father, saved Taylor even when he didn't have to. John has done much more than buys me expensive gifts. They come from the heart. He talks to me, knows me inside and out. He knows when I need to be taken care of and when I want to do things on my own. I trust him Paul. I'm sorry but I don't want to be hurt again."
Seeing that he was losing the battle, Paul reached over to grab her wrist in hopes of talking some sense into her but she pulled away. "Joss, be reasonable."
She scoffed at the comment before taking a moment to weigh her options. "I'm going to make this clear Paul. Things are different now and I know that we've both changed but that doesn't mean that it will work out. Taylor still loves you and wants to see you get better as much as I do." She then took a breath to calm herself. "I'm sorry. You can stay and enjoy the food but I'm not going to talk about this again with you." Joss turned around quickly so that Paul wouldn't see the tears forming.
When she exited, Taylor was standing right there and Joss knew that he had heard everything. "I'm sorry T."
He just shook his head before hugging her. "It's okay mom. It's not your fault. As much as I would like for you and dad to get back together, I also want you to be happy. I've seen that more when you are around John. He would make an awesome step dad."
"Taylor!" Joss chastised, looking over his shoulder at their friends to make sure they didn't hear anything, especially John. "You know that we are just friends right?" Taylor could only give her a look that said 'yeah right' confusing Joss. "What?"
"Do you really believe that mom?"
"Believe what? It's the truth." Before she could elaborate further, Paul exited the kitchen with a look of defeat that both Joss and Taylor could see. He nodded to them both before making a hasty exit and Joss was shamefully glad for it. She wanted to avoid any scenes with her friends here.
Taylor got her attention by covering her hand with his. "It's okay mom, really. Just be happy. That's all I want for you after everything you've done for me."
She couldn't help tearing up as she looked at her son. "Since when did you become all grown up" Joss teased, snickering at the scowl on her boy's face. "I'm not sorry Taylor. No matter how old you are, you will always be my baby." She then pulled him into a tight hug.
"Mom, you're embarrassing me" but returned the hug all the same. After collecting herself, they both return to the living room.
A few hours later, their friends left one at a time with Taylor heading upstairs to bed. This left Joss and the last straggler John in the kitchen because he offered to help her clean up. She tried to hide it but John noticed her discouragement earlier and when Paul left without saying a word, John was able to put the pieces together.
"I'm sorry about Paul ruining your surprise." Joss said as she washed the last dish and handed it to him for drying. "I didn't know he was going to act like that." After finishing the tasks, they both turned to look at the box that still lay on the table. Joss couldn't stop the chuckle at John's idea of a gift. "Thanks for the Nano though. I'll admit that's not exactly what I think of as a normal gift but I love it all the same."
When John turned his head to see her bright smile, he felt his heart beat faster before returning the gesture. "I'm happy you like it. You're not an easy person to shop for." He joked, earning a brush of their shoulder.
"Well either way, thank you. You didn't have to do it."
John's voice grew serious. "I know but I wanted to for you."
When Joss saw the look in his eyes, she felt a small punch to her gut before retaining her composure and moving to the Nano to draw her attention away from John. "This is as good as the one Shaw has" she commented before taking it out of the box to get a feel for it.
Joss nearly jumped as she felt John behind her before putting his hands on top of hers and his chin on her shoulder. "I thought that I'd get you a modified one. This one allows for faster reloading and better accuracy so that you can watch my back better." Without hesitating, John covered Joss's hands and directed her to pick up the clip and showed of the loading and ejecting. His large fingers couldn't stop brushing over hers as he demonstrated the small adjustments made. John also enjoyed being so near that lovely jasmine aroma that was uniquely hers.
Joss tried to slowing her breathing in an attempt to calm herself down. Being in such close proximity to someone that she wasn't sure she didn't want more than friendship with wasn't a good idea. She then put the gun down but didn't let John's hands go. Joss felt so safe being surrounded by him. It was such a stark contrast to Paul. "He wanted me to consider getting back together" she explaining, feeling like she owed it to him.
"Paul?" She nodded her head. John knew about their explosive past thanks to Taylor opening up to him. John admired the strength that Joss had to walk away from a marriage because she was protecting her son. She had done her best to help Paul but it appeared that he wasn't accepting it still. John wrapped his arms around Joss's neck and pulled her close, remembering how it was that very help she offered that saved his life. "I know that you made the right decision because you did it to protect your son. Some women have a fear of walking away so they stay with the pain."
Joss squeezed John's arm before turning her head slightly. "Yeah. It's just so hard because of what we had. I sometimes wish that things could be like they use to but our deployments changed that." The memories ate away at her heart and she found herself tearing up as she remembered how happy Paul was went she told him she was pregnant or when he surprised her with an anniversary dinner at a fancy restaurant.
"I'm here Joss, however you want me. If you ever need to talk about anything, don't hesitate to call me." John promised her. He wanted to be with Joss in however way she wanted. Tonight, he would be the sympathetic ear because that's what she needed right now and the last thing he would do is abandon her.
When Joss took a moment to scan John's face, she lingered the longest on his lips. He was offering companionship and someone to talk to. For now, she would welcome his company because she trusted him.
All they did was stand closely together before Joss offered the couch which John accepted. She returned the lid and left the box on the table before joining John. They just sat and talked about whatever she wanted. She had expressed how she would always hope that Paul got better and John listened attentively. Before long, Joss grew tired and John decided to leave. At the front door, they hugged each other tightly with Joss offering thanks while leaning up against the threshold, watching John closely before he disappeared into the night.
However, she couldn't bring herself to let him leave just yet and called out to him. "John?"
He stopped in his tracks and turned to her. "Yeah?"
"I wanted to thank you again, not just for coming but for the gift and I'm um sorry for Paul."
John shrugged his shoulders, remaining indifferent. "It's alright."
Joss just dismissed him. "No, it's not. He came tonight and asked me about the possibility of getting back together." She noticed John tense briefly before putting the mask back up.
"Well, it's not my place to ask what you'll do Joss." He started making his way to the door again.
"I told him it couldn't happen" Joss said quickly. She was fighting the urge to stop John from leaving. She didn't want to be alone, not yet.
John turned to face her. "Is it because of what happened between you two?" She nodded her head. John was struggling to take in the fact that she didn't want to have what she lost. He would have given anything to have Jessica back…or at least that's what he thought before he met Joss. John took a step closer to her, his eyes dark and his face serious. "If he truly had changed, would you have been willing to let him back into yours and Taylor's lives again?"
The cold air outside was starting to come through the door and Joss shivered slightly but she was too captivated by the man standing in front of her to care. "No. There's still that history and besides, I found that as much as I didn't want it, my being along has given me some invaluable friends." Her face beamed at the thought of everyone enjoying her food and sharing conversation. It had been years since she had such festivities in her own home.
"It's because you are who you are. You bring the best out of us Joss."
She couldn't stop the small blush at his praise. "I didn't do anything John."
His eyes took Joss, surprised that she felt that way. How could she believe that? John closed the distance between them, hearing a small gasp of surprise from her when she finally noticed.
Even though he towered over her, Joss never felt intimidated. John treated her as his equal. She felt respected by him and the others. It was something that she had been lacking in her life for years. She had pulled herself away from people after Paul, fearful of experiencing that type of pain and regret again. It was easier to remain alone. Then John saved her life that night and everything changed. Her head tilted back to give him her full attention.
"You did. Your kindness helped a lot of people. It saved me Joss. Somehow, you gave me that small flicker of resolve that kept me alive long enough for Harold to finally convince me to help him. Every time the holidays come around, I keep being thankful that you're in my life Joss." He reached out to take her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as he watched her eyes flicker and glisten. "I should probably get going and let you rest." When John made a move to leave, he was stopped in place because she didn't let go of his hand.
Joss gazed at him from underneath her eyelashes, a tender moment of uncertainty before she spoke again. "Do you really have to go?" she asked, just barely above a whisper.
John smiled as he contemplated his options. "I think I can spare a few minutes." He then let himself get pulled back inside much to Joss's joy and the door closed behind them.
Post A/N: So this holiday asks that we give thanks and I have a few to give for sure. I'm thankful not just to still have my father but the rest of my family that helped me whenever they could. I'm also thankful to the many friends that I've made through the common interest that was POI. The FB groups have allowed me to vent, even if my posts are the size of a novel. I'm happy that it's there and want to thank all the people that continue to share on there or that I interact with outside of it too. It's always been a treat. I want to also thank those that have supported this fandom even after 3 years as someone was kind enough to remind us that the anniversary had just past. It's you guys that allow writers such as myself to continue posting stories because of the shared love for Careese. Much love to anyone that has done anything with my stories like review, marked has favorite, put a story alert, or even just breezed by. It puts a smile on my face to continue receiving such support. I hope that the future and new year are the best for each and every one of you. Thank you and much hugs :)