Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin nor Celine Dion's "I Love You".

I LOVE YOU

By: g3ozLizh

I must be crazy now

Megumi finished packing her clothes with a snap of her suitcase.

"I can't believe I'm doing this…" she absentmindedly muttered. She was so preoccupied with thoughts of seeing him again. After all these years… "I wonder how he is doing --- I wonder how everybody is doing," she corrected. She wasn't doing this to see only him. She's doing this to see everybody again and it just so happens that he's one of them, right?

"Yeah, right. Sure," she said out loud to no one in particular. "Stop doing this to yourself, Megumi. You've done enough denying already and look where that got you."

Maybe I dream too much

"And it would be nice for a change to have someone to come home to at night…" her thoughts began to wander. What could life have been for her if she stayed in Tokyo? Maybe if she stayed a little longer, they would somehow overcome their personal differences and…

Megumi paused, her heart racing at just the thought.

Be together… she finished, a tiny wistful smile curving her moist red lips. The warm morning breeze from her room window brushed against her face, her long black-blue hair floating, swaying. It felt so good. Like starting anew.

Starting anew? Or starting from where I left off? Connecting loose ends. Her eyes splayed over the beautiful surrounding of her room. So beautifully done yet something that I'll never miss, she smiled ironically.

Indeed it is breathtaking, along with the view from the window but through it all, it's just a façade. Beneath it's fine comeliness lies emptiness. At night, when all are sleeping and dreaming sweet dreams, she lies there unable to sleep. The silence deafening.

It only serves to remind me that I have no one to share its beauty with. Of how life can never be truly be beautiful without someone to share it with. If he…

A knock came from the door, startling her.

"Is everything all right there, Megumi-sensei?" a deep male voice asked.

Megumi blinked her eyes a few times, which had remained fastened staring unseeingly at a random object against the wall. "Yes, I was just… thinking, " she picked up her bag from the bed, grunting at its weight.

As she opened the door, her assistant stood there, extending his hand to help. "Let me carry that," he offered with a smile.

"Thanks," was all she could reply with a return smile.

He just grinned and walked down the stairs ahead, she following slowly behind.

Hundred thoughts were running inside her head.

But when I think of you

Will Sano be happy to see me? Does he have… someone special already? Is he going to be mad because I had left all of a sudden? Would things between us be just the way they were? Would he be there at all???

This going back to Tokyo was unexpected. One night, specifically the night before, she had decided that she couldn't take living a life of denial and decided to go back to where she left her heart.

She recalled the countless times that he would appear at the clinic with the purpose of letting her fix his hand.

Was that all there was to it, Sano? Did you ever went there just so you could see me and maybe, made your hand just the excuse?

The thought of him engaging into fights just so he could come see her later… stupid but touching. It gave her an overwhelming feeling, warmth that surged up her body.

I long to feel your touch

Just as she would probe his hand for inspection of any other misaligned bones, he would sometimes clutch her hand with his other hand and tease her. Tease her of being so overly concerned with his hand.

"Stop worrying too much. It will get better what with you fixing it," he had said, grinning like some dumb rooster that he is.

"Sano, no matter how many times I fix this, it will never heal if you keep on doing that Futae-whatever technique." She would glare at him.

"Che. Okay, I'll stop."

But he never does. Every examination a routine. He comes in with a broken, sometimes bleeding hand, he would scold him while fixing and then they argue.

It grew tiring after a while but she missed those visits after she left Tokyo and moved to Aizu.

His warmth, his touch…

She was startled yet again by her assistant's voice.

"Ano… did you forget something, Megumi-sensei?"

She realized that she was supposed to get in the carriage. She shook her head inwardly and smiled. That's the only thing she seemed to do perfectly that day. "No, I was just…" Thinking? "No, nothing important."

He looked at her quizzically.

"Let's go." Then she purposely climbed in, meaning to put an end to any upcoming question.

=*=*=*=

She arrived that afternoon and settled back to her usual place at the clinic. Dr. Genzai had kept the secret and she planned to surprise everybody.

"Everybody's still here," Dr. Genzai and somehow, behind what appeared to be an innocent smile, Megumi had the gut feeling he was hinting at something. The almost hidden glint in his eyes said it all.

"That's good." She smiled weakly, knowing that the inevitable blush is present.

Hurriedly, after changing into a more comfortable kimono (this time without the smock), she headed straight towards the rooster-head's den. The sun was starting to set. Won't he be shocked to see me!

Fox ears popped out and she grinned slyly, foxily, a thought forming in her mind as to how to do with it.

"Let's see," she searched her brain, forefinger tapping her chin in concentration. Years of dedicating all her in time working in Aizu had dulled --- only a tee bit --- her usually sharp --- very --- mind.

= Slide the shoji door open and let him bask in her presence (after his initial shock, of course)

= Creep silently into his house (what house?) --- Okay, room. Then scare the living daylights out of him by approaching without him noticing her presence.

She shook her head. That won't work. For someone dumb, he can sense things and this perfume I sprayed on wouldn't go unnoticed. She then went on blaming her perfume.

= Slowly, tantalizingly open the shoji door and strike a seductive pose and say, "Hello, Sanosuke. Miss me?"

She vigorously shook her head, giggling at the thought. "No way, that would be too… assuming. I mean, it's not as if he's physically attracted (why isn't he?) or something towards me. Knowing him, he'd just laugh flat out at my forwardness. That would be so humiliating. It would be like throwing myself at him and I'm not that kind of woman!" she muttered, conviction etching her features.

Mmm-hmm… and what about Ken-san?

She brushed the voice away, rolling her eyes. "That was just a cover up. I didn't really like him like that!"

It's a good thing that not too many people were walking in the same route she was taking or else they would think her to be crazy.

= How about she just plainly knock on the door and say, "Open the door, rooster-head! It's Megumi!"

Ugh! She stopped for a while, feeling like she wanted to bash her head against something so that she could knock some ideas into her head. And just when she considered doing that (only smack her forehead, of course), gradually resuming the walk, an idea came.

To whisper in your ear

Words that are old as time

Words only you would hear

She stopped dead in her tracks.

They made a beautiful picture along with the pink, violet, gold hue color of the sky for the background. This was the kind of image that you envision out from fairy tales. So breathtaking --- that's right because she couldn't breath --- that it would be a sin to ruin it. Though it was choking her, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the couple.

If only you were mine

Sano…

That familiar burning sensation in her eyes started and her vision got blurred but not before she saw the kiss. It was light yet lingering, no tongue but on the lips. That had to mean something. It always does when you're in Japan with it being a conservative country. And the girl --- girl, 'kay --- cast her head down, shy all of a sudden as to what she did.

Megumi couldn't hear what she said for she was out of hearing range. Thankfully, the girl turned around and walked away with a dreamy expression.

But the pain was still there. She knew that she doesn't have the right to be jealous. He isn't her boyfriend after all and she definitely is not the girl --- woman --- he loves. She pressed a hand to her mouth to keep the sobbing sound to herself. No need to let him see her and just pity her in the end for being such an assuming, hopeful woman that she is. She didn't even get to see Sano's face for she was shaking all over with suppressed sobs, her vision all but a river of tears.

What's there to know. I don't need to see that matching dreamy look on his face too. Guess he prefers those younger than him after all. With me being twenty-nine, I'm way beyond his ideal limit.

So what now? She couldn't possibly just turn around and head straight back home. Just like her heart, the last bit of dark pastel light that remained after the sun had set --- the last bit of her hope --- vanished and all was covered in darkness. She had been ready for darkness to fall. She had planned… assumed that she could spend the night at Sano's. Of course, the "let's-do-it" is not included. Just to have more private and quiet time with him to catch up on things. Even if all they would is fight and argue, so what? It would be nice to get into that again after years of being gone. Much of her funny memories and ones she had often played in her mind were those moments of bickering and teasing.

Those are the only things that we did. Never was there a time that we had a serious talk... Her thoughts trailed off. Of course the thing in front of Kanryuu's mansion is different. It was more like a confrontation. Not one talk where they discussed about likes and thoughts on life or stuff like that. Desolately, she realized all these for the first time.

She wasn't prepared for all these just as she wasn't prepared for what she had seen.

So why am I still here?

Because through all these years you've been hooked up on him and not one night you didn't think about him and wishing you two could be together. After all those years of tormenting the loneliness and self-denial, you have finally come to your senses so now you're here.

It is all so frustrating! Just when she acknowledges the fact of having feelings for him, of accepting that she loves him more than anything else after all these years of restraint, doubt and refusal, finally when she's confident of telling him, without regret, her feelings for him that had always been there … He falls for a girl leaving her back to square one only this time… with a broken heart.

I wish I could go back

To the very first day I saw you

Should've made my move

When you looked in my eyes

She couldn't blame him that she knew by heart so why then does she feel like lashing out at him, slapping him for hurting her? Miraculously, with some great willpower, she was able to pull herself away from the line of vision of where the "scene" took place. Feeling every ounce of energy drained away from her, she leaned against a wall and hung her head back, clutching her heart. Cool night wind blew against her tear-streaked face. Her face would have been only damp now if not for the endless tears.

She didn't know how long she had been standing there with tears falling down her cheeks in rapid succession, but she knew she have to go back to the clinic. Soon, it would be too dark and she didn't want to walk the unlit streets alone.

Drawing in a shaky breath to compose herself, she pushed back against the wall, bringing her to stand upright.

I don't have anyone to go back to now. Her steps were dainty but in long strides. As she rounded a corner, she thought she heard a footstep so she quickened her pace. Heart thudding against her rib cage, she almost toppled over a person lying on the side of the street.

"Sumimasen," she mumbled an apology then gasped when she saw that the person was bleeding. Doctor instincts taking over, she didn't think twice. She kneeled down and helped the man sit up. He appeared to be losing the battle called life.

"Iie…"

Megumi's brows knitted wondering what he was talking about. Just as she was about to open her mouth to ask where he was bleeding, she distinctively heard a sword being sheathed.

Like as if he just finished slashing this man…

Fear gripping her, she still was able to turn her head around.

Before she can even react, a strong blow knocked her unconscious.

=*=*=*=

The feel of a soft mattress, probably a futon, under her meant that she had regained consciousness.

"Good thing you're awake, fox."

Megumi turned her head to the side and saw Sano smiling. She hastily sat up and asked, "Why am I here?"

Sano got up from his sitting position on the corner of the room, walking towards her. His smile disappeared as he asked, "What were you doing walking alone at night?"

Megumi didn't want to answer his question. "Aren't you even wondering why I'm back here in Tokyo?"

"Don't try changing the topic, fox. I'm serious. You could have gotten killed!"

I could have been here, safe, if it weren't for the fact that you have someone else, she thought but didn't dare say it.

"Well?" he prompted, hands in his pockets.

This rare seriousness in him reminded her of that afternoon in front of Kanryuu's mansion ---

"Damnit, fox! Why don't you answer me?" He was getting irked. She being quiet only meant one thing: something's bothering her, something's not right.

When Megumi glared up at him, he didn't even react. He looked her in the eyes even more.

"Why should you care?"

It was the most senseless question he had heard, Why should he care? Of course he cares, more than he thought he ever did because ---

"Don't bother," she snapped when he didn't respond right away. Tiredly, her voice getting quiet, she said, "It's not that important anyway."

Sano saw a flicker of an emotion in her eyes which he couldn't decipher. He decided to rest the case for a while and ask her first thing tomorrow, after all their minds are clear.

Megumi moved to get up but Sano halted her when he spoke, "Don't. I'll take the floor, you take the futon."

Her eyes narrowed. "What makes you think I'll sleep in the same room with you?" It's a lie. All lies.

"Would you rather choose to go out there again? I for one doesn't want to save some damsel in distress for the second time."

Megumi flinched. That's it. He doesn't really care. It's pretty obvious that he wants to get rid of me though he's not stating. He just doesn't want to be guilty if ever something did happen to me if I go out.

"Fine!" She lied back on the futon angrily and turned her back to him with a plop. Damnit, Sano! Why are you making this any harder? It would have been easier for her to hate him if he allowed her to go. Then letting him go wouldn't hurt so much.

=*=*=*=

'Cause by now I know that

You'd feel the way that I do

That's what she had told herself. Was she ever in disillusionment.

She rolled to her other side and was quite surprised when she found Sano to be only a foot away from her. From all the way there? She glanced at the space she had seen him lie down.

By the looks of things, he was pretty fast asleep, he's soft snoring a sure indication.

She watched the rise and fall of his chest and noticed for the first time that the usual bandages around his waist were gone. As if it follows, she took a glance at his hand and noticed that the bandages were gone too. Somehow, he took my advice.

A ghost of a smile placed itself on her lips.

To be this close to him…For a moment, she let herself be caught in her tide of emotions.

And I'd whisper these words

As you'd lie here by my side.

He looked so peaceful, so innocent. The tiniest appearance of his previously non-existent beard made him all the more… mysterious. No! More like paradoxical. On the outside he may be rough and intimidating but deep inside that wild bad-ass attitude lies a man of…

He stirred and Megumi's breath caught in her throat, thinking that he might have sensed her observing him, watching him sleep. When it seemed that he wouldn't rouse any time soon, she continued on.

My first time to say this to you…

I love you

… my last.

Silent tears trickled down, and her mouth quivered as she tried to fight off the overwhelming emotions.

Please say that you love me too

How stupid of her to think that he would even say the same. Feel the same way as she feels for him.

These three words

They could change our lives

She closed her eyes, letting out all the heartbreak and pain but as hard as she tried, she knew it will always be there haunting her heart.

Forever

Through the window, beyond the sleeping houses, over the horizon, the first crack of dawn peered through. She gingerly sat up and eased herself from the futon. She carried the blanket to Sano's side and covered him with it. He remained unmoving, still in sideways position.

Megumi, risking it, sat down and leaned closer so that her breath brushed his ear. She wanted to feel his warmth for the last time. I haven't told the others yet that I've arrived or that I'm here within their midst. So I can just disappear quickly as I had appeared.

And I promise you that we will always

Be together

But not all promises are kept and it's not like as if I made that promise with you… you don't even know about it.

So it wouldn't make a difference if I break one, just one… among all others that I've failed to fulfill because I ---

He suddenly shifted on his back so that their lips were only inches apart.

She pulled back, afraid that if she didn't, she just might be tempted enough to seal a broken promise with a kiss.

Because I loved too late.

Author's Notes:

Okay, I'll stop here. The continuation is up next. Just decided to split the two 'coz they'd be too long if I put them together. And you could say it adds to the tension, ne? ^_^

I have the continuation right here *waves copy* but I'm waiting for Akai-Kuu to finish beta-reading my other stories and I'll post the second chapter (grammar-checked) along with a grammar-checked version of this chapter. Just want to know beforehand what you guys think of this.

Please leave a review. I took a breather from my other fics and planned this to be a light and WAFFY one but I guess I'm feeling angsty right now so… here's the outcome.

Is there ever a songfic that's more than one chapter?