So I think we can all agree that there was something a bit lacking with Emma's reaction to Neal's death in Season 3. No, not her immediate reaction (god that episode had me sobbing), but over time. I was really hoping we'd get something in the Season 3 finale, and since we didn't, I decided to take a couple plot-points and see what I could do with them. This takes place in that miniscule amount of time in between There's No Place Like Home (3x22) and Tale of Two Sisters (4x01). Basically think of what would have happened if Elsa had arrived in town a bit later than she did.
Also, please don't say that Emma's OOC in this for crying. It's Emma – when she's strong, you can't imagine her ever being broken. When she's broken, you can't imagine her ever being strong. Keep that in mind.
(Partly inspired by a Taylor Swift song that I heard on the radio but SHHH)
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own none of these characters. If I could, I would take them from the writers until they learn to play nicer with them.
Emma left Granny's quickly that evening.
Unable to stand Regina's consistent I-blame-you look every time Marian clung onto Robin Hood's arm, she gave an admittedly weak excuse of "I need some air" to her parents and Killian, hugged Henry and left. Where she was going, she didn't know, but at the moment all she needed was some breathing room. As much as she appreciated her newfound family (and after the events of that day, she appreciated them a lot more), she found it a bit stifling.
Emma opted not to bother with her car, finding it more refreshing to walk. As she did so, she pondered things: how would she deal with her new baby brother? How would she raise Henry in Storybrooke now? What was her relationship with Killian? (No, not Hook – Killian). If she expected to find answers then she was horribly disappointed. Somehow Emma had walked all the way to the graveyard where they had buried Neal and was still just as clueless as when she'd left the diner.
She slumped down on a bench and held her head in her hands. She'd thought that for once, maybe things would actually go her way.
Of course they didn't. Nothing comes easily to the Savior.
All Emma wanted was some quiet time where she could get accustomed to having an active family that actually gave a damn about her, raise Henry, and maybe if she was lucky figure out what the hell it was she had with Killian. Was that too much to ask?
Apparently so. Every time she thought maybe she'd get a chance to live her life, something had to come up.
Now she knew how Regina felt.
Emma felt terrible thinking about Regina. She hadn't meant to bring Marian back – she didn't even know who she was when they'd been in jail together! Of course she'd managed to fuck everything up – her parents' meeting, nearly getting her mother killed, messing up Regina's happy ending.
Why was everything her fault?
It was at this point that Emma finally allowed a tear to fall and all of the emotions she'd been bottling up inside of her came out at once. Emma normally wasn't a crier but with so much happening and so much that she knew would happen, she couldn't stand it.
She sat slumped over on the bench for who-knows-how-long, sniffling and wiping her eyes and basically looking extremely un-Savior-like. At least there's no one out here to see me, she thought and of course the universe decided to prove her wrong.
"Emma?" a voice said, making her almost jump out of her skin.
"Son of a bitch," she muttered, looking around and seeing that there was no one nearby, or even in the cemetery. She was just imagining things. Great, add that to the list of things that was wrong with her.
"Emma," the voice persisted – clearer, louder and a hell of a lot more familiar. But no, this couldn't be right. It couldn't be…..
"Neal?" The mist seemed to gather above the grass across the pathway from where she sat. It solidified and formed the guise of something that looked quite similar to her first love, except that he was transparent, he was floating, and he was missing pretty much his entire lower body. The ghost of Neal floated above the patch of grass and regarded her with an expression of joy mixed with regret, an odd combination when her last memory of him had been pure pain.
"Emma," he said, and although her brain told her to get the fuck out of there, she ignored it.
"Neal…. H-how are you… Is it really…?"
He nodded – it was strange considering that she was could see through him, but it was definitely a nod. "It's me. If you need proof – Tallahassee," he said, and Emma knew that it was really him.
Emma took a deep breath. "Why are you here?"
"Here, as in this world, or here, as in this specific spot?" he asked, and when she shot him an annoyed glare, Neal chuckled. "Sorry, had to ask. I'm here because of you. I've been watching out for you as best as I could, and since this is where I'm buried, it's the easiest place for me to attain a physical form and be able to talk to you."
She managed a smile. "For someone that spent their lifetime running away from magic, you sure know a lot about how ghost-physics works."
"Hey, what can I say? And to think that you used to doubt my intelligence." Emma managed a laugh and she saw Neal smile when she did. He floated over to the bench and she assumed that was the closest he could get to sitting next to her. "So…. You want to tell me why you're crying on a bench in the cemetery in the middle of the night?"
By that time her tears had dried so Emma figured she had earned the right to be a bit snarky. "Shouldn't you know that already? From watching over me?"
"I couldn't follow you through the time portal. There was some weird interference when I tried. Lucky for me, there was someone who could."
"Yeah….. I would've been so fucked without him there."
"I can imagine," Neal replied, and when she gave him a look he said: "Okay, you know nothing about how the Enchanted Forest worked back there. I lived there – you wouldn't have lasted longer than an hour if Killian hadn't been there." Emma noticed how he had stopped referring to the pirate by his nickname.
"For your information, I did perfectly fine there. I even went to a royal ball in a ball gown. So there."
He let out a low whistle. "I'm impressed. How many times did you trip on the shoes?" Without thinking Emma reached out and hit him on the arm, and was surprised to find that there was actually something solid there to hit. Neal smirked back at her.
"I didn't trip! We danced and shit!" Emma retorted.
"Oh, sure." Then he got more serious. "So you want to tell me what happened that caused you to end up here?"
Emma sighed and hesitated before just diving into the story. Neal was a good listener, asking an occasional question at most points but he was pretty much silent when the parts with his father were involved. When Emma finished, she looked at him.
"So….. That's it. You know how I fucked up everything. God, I'm pathetic, aren't I? Forget bringing back happy endings – I can't even stop myself from ruining them!"
"Emma, that wasn't your fault," Neal said gently.
"How was it not?! I just had to see how my parents fell for each other; I just had to knock out Marian and bring her with us because I thought it would be better than letting her die."
"Emma," Neal said, louder to get her attention but gentle enough that she knew he wasn't mad at her. "Wanting to see how your parents fell in love – especially your parents – is completely natural. Don't blame yourself because you fixed it later. And as for Marian... Only time can tell how that will turn out. I met Robin when I was sent through the portal, before ending up in Neverland. It was just him and Roland and the Merry Men."
"So?"
"So, maybe that means that everything happened as it was supposed to. Look, I don't know for sure and I don't want to give you false comfort but you shouldn't blame yourself for doing what you thought was right."
Emma sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Neal sat patiently, waiting for her to say something. When she finally did, she chose to change the subject.
"They named him after you."
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Who?"
"My parents. They named my baby brother after you." She managed another smile. "Prince Neal."
"I…. I'm honored," Neal said after a moment.
"I'll tell them that for you, if you want." He nodded in response and they fell into another silence. Unlike so many other times, it was comfortable. Emma appreciated that.
"Anything else on your mind?" he asked after a few minutes.
"I…. I'm trying to decide if this…. thing I have going on could ever…work out… You know?"
"With Killian?" She nodded.
"I mean, he traded his ship for me. He traded his goddamn ship to get a magic bean so he could find me and help me get my memories back." Emma looked over at Neal and saw that he was smiling. "What?"
"Nothing."
"No, seriously. What?"
"I'm just proud of my decision."
"What decision?"
"You know the potion he had? The one that gave you your memories back?" Neal back. Emma nodded and watched as Neal pointed at himself.
"You didn't…." she gasped.
"Kind of," he admitted. "I was stuck inside my father's body, and Zelena gave him a memory potion to take so he'd remember who he was because of the coming curse."
"So you…"
"I managed to get control long enough and send the potion off to the one person who I knew could and wouldn't stop until they found you."
"So you were the one who sent the potion to Killian?"
"Are you surprised?"
"A….. A little, yeah….. Why him?"
"Like I said, he was the one person that I knew would never stop looking for you," Neal said simply.
Emma was stunned silent. Did Neal really have that much faith in Killian? In them?
Before she could say anything else, Neal seemed to stand (it was hard to tell when he was missing his entire lower body). "I can't stay much longer, and I think you should head back," he said.
Emma nodded and stood as well. "Thanks… For this. If I come back here, will I be able to talk to you again?"
"Yeah. It might take a minute for me appear, but I'll always come back."
"Do you want me to bring Henry next time?"
She could've sworn she saw a tear in his eye. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that. And maybe Killian, if he wants to talk to me sometime?"
Emma smiled and nodded. "I'm sure he wants to. He misses you, you know."
"I know," Neal replied. He reached out his arm and Emma felt his hand brush against her cheek. "Emma, be brave. Things won't always work out the way you expect, but keep your head high and you can get through anything."
"I'll be back soon," Emma said, and Neal smiled before dissipating into the mist.
Emma shrugged her coat higher onto her shoulders. She wasn't sure how long she had been there, and it had gotten so cold that she could see her own breath, but at that moment it didn't matter. Talking had felt good, and she had to go see her son.
Well, that was painful. But it was good to write. I'd like to think that I got their personalities down. Also, has anyone else seen the new promo on YouTube? Emma is our precious baby and must be protected!
Hope you enjoyed it! Keep calm and wait for Once everyone!