Thinking It Over

So I've decided to write a mini series of what happened after the mid season finale.

This is based on several prompts I've received after the finale aired.

Hi Ailing, first off, love your stories! I saw this come up on twitter via Bren xocaterina "when Amelia arrives to LA - Charlotte: get back to Seattle and fuck major Hunt" (there was a gif on the post, but I can't link) - wondering, can you write a story of a possible interaction when Amelia rocks up in LA? Love Amelia and Charlotte. And Addie and everyone. Thank you :)

So we don't know what happens to Amelia after she wrote that note or what it really means. But let's say for this she leaves him and moves back to LA. Could you write a fic of her moving back and maybe Owen eventually chasing her.

Prompt: "no woman seems to wanna have my child.." Owen.

Owen Hunt's heart sank as he read the letter that his wife left him.

Dear Owen,

First of all, it's not your fault. Please don't make this all your fault. I know you, it's what you do. So please, please don't do that. It's me, not you. I just need some time to be alone. I need some time to think things over and reevaluate. Now please don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with us. You're the most amazing man I've ever met. We're amazing together. It's just that I feel we've been moving at such a breakneck speed and I need some time out to think. I need some space to breathe. I don't know for how long I'll be gone for. But wait for me patiently ok? One day I'll be back, better and stronger than ever. Then we'll have the life that we want. Until then, please be strong. Don't blame yourself. I love you so much, and it hurts me so much to see you hurting. So please, promise me you'll go on with life, but wait for me. Remember, we are worth fighting for.

Love Amelia.

As Owen reread the letter, he noticed a wet spot in the middle of the letter. It was then he realized that he had let a stray tear roll down his cheek and land on the letter. At the same time, he noticed a dried up spot at the left side of the letter. Apparently, Amelia had let a stray tear roll down her cheeks as well when she was writing the letter.

Gone. His wife just left like that with a simple letter. He had no idea where she went or how long would she be gone for.

He slowly sat on one of the chairs beside the dining table where she left the note and covered his head with his hands. He had no idea how things went downhill so fast. Just a few weeks ago, they were happily married and had agreed to start trying for a baby. Just 2 weeks ago- his heart was thumping in giddy anticipation as Amelia took the pregnancy test. He already had plans to convert the current study room into a nursery.

But then, the test turned out to be negative and everything went downhill from there. He remembered holding her in his arms, comforting her and telling her that it was ok, they could try again. But since the next day, she began avoiding him, working late night shifts at the hospital and discussing strictly about their patients only when she saw him at work.

Then a few nights ago she shouted at his face that she didn't want his baby anymore. Her sudden declaration to his face hit him hard like a ton of bricks thrown at his face. She could've punched him on the face and it would've hurt less. Where had he gone wrong? Maybe he should not have persuaded her into starting a family so soon after they got married. Maybe she just wasn't ready yet. But then, she should've told him straight up that she wasn't ready, instead of playing along with the idea and agreeing to start a family that night a few weeks ago. He found the whole thing so confusing.

Feeling numb, he automatically speed dialed Amelia's number. Her number was the first number in his speed dial as she was the person he called the most. It rang several times before it went into voicemail.

' Hello there, this is Dr. Amelia Shepherd. You've reached her voice mail. Please leave a message.'

Oh how he missed her sexy, lovely voice.

' Amelia- it's Owen. I don't know where you are right now, I don't know where you're going. I don't even know why you left. But please, I'm begging you- if you hear this, please come back to me Amelia. I love you so much. It's ok if we don't have babies, I need you. Come back to me please.' he spoke into the voicemail, his voice cracking with emotion.

He tried calling her number several more times, but all his calls went into voicemail.

He finally gave up and almost banged his phone on the dining table in frustration. He slammed his fists instead on the dining table.

Damn this life! Just when he thought he was finally happy and had found the woman of his dreams, this had to happen.

Composing himself, he picked up his phone again and dialed another familiar number. He knew that given their history this person would be a surprising choice, but at that instant, he really didn't know who else to call.

' Owen?' Nathan Riggs picked up his phone after a couple of rings. His voice sounded surprised. Owen didn't blame him, because he hadn't called him personally on his phone for so many years.

'Riggs? I..Are you free for a drink now?'

' Owen- what is wrong?'Nathan sat up on his bed alarmed, putting down the journal he had been reading. Judging from the tone of Owen's voice, he knew that something terribly wrong had happened.

' It's Amelia. She's gone.'

' What?!'

' Yes- she took off just like that. She did leave a letter though.'

Owen's voice sounded devastated over the phone.

' Ok...we'll meet at Joe's in 15 minutes.' Nathan agreed, his heart already breaking for his friend.

Meanwhile, sitting at the back of the cab on the way to the airport, Amelia listened to the voicemail as tears were starting to form in her eyes.

She was already starting to feel guilty. Owen was the best guys she had ever met, he was so loving, kind, gentle and caring towards her. And yet now here she was, running away from him. Just like how she ran away from James, ran away from her life in LA. That was what she did best when things got tough. Bail. As much as it hurt her and tore deep into her soul to pen the letter and get away, she knew it had to be done.

She needed to get away from Seattle for a while. To get away from the hustle and bustle of work and the hospital. To get away from the busyness of Seattle. And most of all, to get away from married life.

She hated herself. She hated herself for bailing again, for running away from all her problems instead of facing it like an adult. She chastized herself for doing this to poor sweet clueless Owen and dashing his dreams of becoming a father.

But she couldn't help it, she felt too overwhelmed by her present circumstances. Everything about her marriage to Owen had been perfect during the first few months. They seldom argued, and had agreed to start trying for a baby. Then Meredith just had to carelessly mention about how she was let off the hook with Ellis because Derek was dead. That brought about a fresh onslaught of memories about Ryan's death and her unicorn baby which began to suffocate her. Since then, she felt like she

couldn't breathe. Although the negative pregnancy test brought temporary relief for her, she just couldn't bear to face Owen's hopeful look any longer and deal with the possibility of having yet another anencephalic baby.

As the voicemail reached the end, she switched off the voicemail and started scrolling through the photos on her phone camera roll. There were so many pics of her and Owen- photos during their first official date which she still kept in the phone, photos of their subsequent dates, even photos of the wedding day, which Maggie helped to take. Tears threatened to roll down her cheeks again as she realized that her marriage to Owen was already on the rocks after just 3 months. If only he knew the actual reason why she just wasn't ready to have children yet. She didn't know why- she just couldn't open up to him to tell the whole truth. She had a feeling that she might scare him away for good if she opened up her entire dark past to him.

Her phone rang once more, and Owen's caller ID and photo appeared on the screen of her phone. His caller ID photo was that of a photo taken of him during one of their dates the previous year. He was wearing a plaid shirt and she thought he looked so handsome in it. Since then, she had been too lazy and preoccupied with other things to change the photo. She let it ring several more times before it went into voicemail again. Then, gritting her teeth with resolve, she removed the SIM card from her phone.

That was it, she was now uncontactable.

She closed her eyes and began to clear her mind. Her thoughts slowly drifted to Addison, Charlotte and the rest of the LA gang. She suddenly realized how much she missed them. They were the ones who stood with her and supported her throughout her addiction and recovery, they were with her throughout her first pregnancy and the birth of her unicorn were her real friends. Whereas in Seattle, she barely had anyone. Sure- Owen loved her, and Maggie,April, Stephanie and eventually Alex were nice to her. But she barely communicated with the rest of her seemed to have a love hate relationship with her, which she felt leaned more towards the hate side. She never opened up to them and they never knew about her darkest secrets, except Alex who just recently got a tiny glimpse of it.

The taxi pulled up to the airport and she knew then that there was no turning back.

' She just left like that?' Riggs frowned.

He was at Joe's, sitting opposite a crestfallen looking Owen.

Owen gulped down his glass of scotch and almost slammed his glass on the table in frustration.

' Well, she did leave a note….' he pointed out, realizing that he left the note at home. 'She did mention in the note that she needed time to think things over and reevaluate, and would be back, but she didn't state for how long she would be gone for and where she's going to. She told me not to blame myself,and to stay strong and wait for her to return.'

' Well, maybe she just needs some space and time .' Riggs tried to reason. ' She'll be back a brand new and renewed person, just wait and see.

She's not leaving you Owen.'

' You don't understand, Riggs.' Owen banged his fist on the table, causing Nathan to jump in surprise and the people at the next table to turn to look at them.

'I'm sorry.' Owen muttered. ' It's just… you don't understand what I've been through. How are you so sure that she'll return? Do you know that after my first wife Cristina and I divorced, I thought that I would never find another woman to love. I was so lonely and empty inside. Then Amelia came and she was like a breath of fresh air to me. She was everything I had hoped for and dreamt of in a woman. I was looking forward to spending a lifetime with her and starting a family together with her. Heck, just a few weeks ago we agreed on starting a family. Then she had to leave me like this.' Owen placed his head in his hands and sighed heavily.

Riggs just remained silent as he sipped on his own vodka. He was at loss of words to say to the heartbroken man in front of him. He didn't know how to help Owen either. The least he could do was to listen.

A few moments of comfortable silence passed between them before Owen finally lifted his head up again to look at Riggs.

' No woman seems to wanna have my child.'he lamented in a sad tone. ' I've always wanted to have kids, but no woman I've met seemed to share this dream of mine.'

' I know you've always wanted to have kids.' Riggs said quietly.

' Cristina- she and I had this huge argument about having children.' Owen continued. ' She wanted to focus on her career, she was a very ambitious and driven woman. I respected that about her. But then, I foolishly thought that I could change her mind once we got married and had kids. Then she went ahead to abort our baby and that's when I knew that it was just not meant to be between us. We both had different ambitions and goals in life. She wanted a career, I wanted a career AND a family.'

' Then came Amelia. She did mention that she wanted 4-5 kids and of course I was on board with the idea. Like I said, we were happily planning to start a family. Then all of a sudden she seemed to freak out at the idea. Do you know that she yelled at my face a few nights ago that she didn't want to have a baby, and then took off to Mer's? When she blurted that sentence out, I felt that she had stabbed a knife into my heart. I really don't know what happened within the span of a few weeks to cause her to make a 360 degree turn on the idea of having kids.'

' Owen- there has to be a reason for that.' Nathan said sensibly. ' I'm sure she wouldn't just change her mind like that for no reason. Maybe she is hiding something from you, maybe she has some demons in her past which she needs to face and take care of first. I think you really need to have a heart to heart talk with her when she returns. Both of you need to sort things out.'

' WHEN she returns?!'Owen exclaimed. ' More like IF she ever returns.'

' Owen, we have to be positive here.' Nathan tried to calm him down. ' You said she did write in the letter that she just needed some time to think things over and reevaluate. She'll be back. She's not running away for good.'

' I don't know where she is, for how long she'll be gone for , and when will she be back, and it's driving me crazy.'Owen admitted as he gestured to Joe to refill his glass.

' Ok, listen here Owen. We'll wait ok? We'll wait for her to return.' Nathan suggested. 'If..'

' Wait? How long would we wait for her for?' Owen interrupted.

' Shhh… listen here.' Nathan was getting slightly irritated at Owen for not listening to his reasoning.

' We'll wait for a few months. If she doesn't return back after a few months, we'll go looking for her.'

' A few months?!' Owen sounded incredulous. ' How am I supposed to wait for a few months without knowing where my wife is and when will she return?'

' I want my wife back!' he exclaimed loudly, banging his fists on the table as several heads turned over to look at him.

Nathan knew that Owen had too much to drink and was starting to lose his control. He quickly walked over to Owen, and linking his arm in his, escorted him out of the bar into his car to drive him back to his house.

His heart really went out to Owen, he knew how much Owen loved Amelia. But at the same time, he knew that Amelia needed some privacy at the moment. He had grown fond of the couple and he really wished he could do something to help them. But at the moment, there was nothing much he could do except be there for Owen.

Amelia had been lucky to get a last minute ticket to LA at the Seattle airport.

The flight encountered turbulence several times, and had rough landing at the LAX as there was a huge downpour. By the time she disembarked from the plane, she was feeling a little nauseous.

She got into a cab and handed the driver the familiar house address which she wrote neatly on a piece of paper.

It had been several years since she last step foot in Addison and Jake's house, and suddenly she couldn't wait. She missed the place and how she always felt welcome there anytime, she also missed the occupants of the house so much.

Looking at her watch, she noted that it was almost midnight, which meant everyone might be asleep already.

She took out her phone to call Addison , then remembered that she had unplugged the phone's SIM card.

Cursing to herself, she suddenly realized how unprepared she was for this spontenous trip to LA. She hadn't even informed any of the LA gang that she was coming to LA. She hadn't even informed Bailey that she was leaving Seattle and Grey Sloan Memorial. She had not booked any hotels or looked for any place to stay yet while in LA. She didn't even know how long would she be there for. She just knew that she had to go back there. It was yet another spur of the moment decision which she made.

Chances were, if Addison and Jake were asleep, she might be homeless tonight.

' Here is the house you're looking for mam.' said the taxi driver as he stopped in front of Addison's house.

Looking at the house, Amelia felt a feeling of nostalgia engulf her. She missed the house, missed Addison, Jake and Henry and the rest of the LA gang so much.

Realizing that she had no umbrella with her, she paid the cab fare, and stepped out of the cab into the pouring rain, lugging her luggage behind.

Shivering from the cold, she rang the doorbell, praying that someone would answer the doorbell.

The couple of minutes she stood in front of the door under the pouring rain seemed like eternity.

Finally, the front door opened to reveal Addison Montgomery.

Alright peeps, this is it, part 1 of my post winter season finale arc. Hope you like it!

The next part would be about Amelia in LA. Do stay tuned within the next few days or so!

P.s As usual, please do let me know what you guys think. Any feedback, comments, reviews, are very much appreciated! I love to hear from you all! :)