Title: Memories

Author: Sara Loughlin

Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, too bad though.

Summary: AU Sam is having some bad memories. Dribble, very short story

Spoilers: None at all

A/N: Ok, this is a very personal story; one of my best friends is going through a very hard time right now (equivalent to what is written below) and I just needed to blow of some steam.
I am busy writing another story right now, but that won't be posted untill it's done.

"Sam?" Jack asked. They were lying in bed and he could hear she was crying. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing really, I'm fine. Go back to sleep." She was definitely crying and she knew he knew that, but talking to him at that moment was just to hard; everything that had happened today brought back memories. Memories she'd rather forget.

"Sam, honey, is it about Darla?" He'd noticed that day that she was not completely herself, but he hadn't realized it was this bad.

"Kind off."

Darla was an 18 year old girl they met three days ago on another planet. The planet was much like their own, technologically and culturally speaking.

They met her while she was crying and bleeding on the street; she had run away from home, because she had been fighting with her family constantly for the last two months. SG-1 hurried over to her, because apparently she had cut herself. While Sam was treating her wound, she saw that it wasn't the first time she had cut herself. They found her a place to stay and assured her parents that she was fine, but that she was not coming back home.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jack really wanted her to tell him, but he didn't want to push; he knew that sometimes people just needed some time to start talking. He had been through the same with Charlie.

"I don't know Jack, I mean, if I tell you, you'll be the first I've ever told and that kind off scares me." She turned around to face Jack and he thought she looked very scared.

"It's ok." He said.

After he said that, she broke down. Tears were running down her face and she just couldn't stop crying anymore. Jack hugged her and tried to sooth her.

"Ok, honey, you're scaring me here! What's going on?" He asked in the most sweetest voice he could muster.

Sam worked up the courage, telling him was harder than anything she'd ever done. She used to think that these things were nothing compared to the troubles people had in Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe, etc. But as time passed by, she noticed that telling this to someone was actually pretty hard, even though it seemed nothing.

"I'm sorry, I just… Ok, ehm…" She sighed deeply and calmed down a little. "I used to cut myself."

Complete silence.

"Why?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, I just felt miserable sometimes. Really miserable. Sometimes after a very stressing period and a big fight with my dad, I would feel completely unloved. Also by my best friends. I don't know why, I just felt that way. I was always different from my friends and at some times, it just became to much; I would break down and cutting myself just felt like a relief." Now that Sam had told him the beginning, she couldn't stop talking. She always wanted to tell someone, but just didn't have the courage to do so. "I didn't cut deeply though, nor did I ever really try to kill myself, I just wanted to hurt myself… And one day, I was tired of all the fights with my dad, so I ran away, just like Darla. This all changed when I went to college though; I got different friends who were much more like me. I felt much happier. Since college I haven't even thought about it anymore, until three days ago. I didn't think it would still hurt so much, but it does. I guess it's something I've never really let go off. God, this is awful… I need a shrink, don't I!"

"Wow, Sam, I, I don't know what to say. Except for that I hope you do not feel that way anymore and that I never would have expected it."

"I know. Neither did I." She sighed deeply, "Now, I don't have those feelings anymore, I couldn't be happier, but seeing Darla just brought everything back. Hard. And I know it will go away again, especially now that I told you, but right now, it just sucks."

Jack hold on to her tighter, knowing that she needed him badly right now. "I know, just try to sleep, I won't go anywhere. Tomorrow when you wake up, everything will be much better. Sleep tight."

"Thanks Jack, sleep tight." She was lucky having this man.

The end

A/N Though this is a very short story, you can still review! And Merry Christmas!