This wasn't Castiel.
Dean could tell immediately. For one thing Castiel would never be surrounded by this many attractive women – period, but especially not while acting so suave and composed. Hell, Castiel was acting like Dean. And that alone was weird, really freakin' weird.
And what on earth was he wearing? What happened to his business suit and trench coat? I mean, that outfit just seemed to fit him, his personality. It was modest, conservative and sharp looking. That's right, damn it, that outfit looked good. But this earthy, dirty-looking shirt, what the hell was that?
"What are you a hippie?"
"You've gotten over trying to label me."
"Cas, we gotta talk—"
"Whoa, strange," Castiel responded, blinking a couple times.
"What?"
"You. You are not you… not now you anyway."
"No, yes, yes. Exactly."
"What year are you from?"
"2009."
Castiel sighed. "Who did this to you? Did Zachariah?"
"Yes."
"Huh, interesting."
"Oh yeah, it's freakin' fascinating. Now," Dean clapped his hands. "Why don't you strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calendar."
Turning, Castiel laughed to himself. "I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings, but I'm sorry. No dice." He started to laugh again.
"What are you stoned?"
"Generally, yeah."
Dean inhaled slowly, studying Castiel up and down. "What happened to you?"
Castiel shook his head, raising his hands. "Life."
"So, what? You just sit around all day and smoke pot and have goddamn orgies?"
The ex-angel giggled quietly. "Well, I figured since I was cast out of heaven, why not just bask in the glory of sin? The women here…" His smile widened now. "Are fantastic creatures, one of God's greatest. And the men," he added, sort of like it was a tidbit of information that was so obvious that he didn't even need to say it.
Dean straightened his body. "Men?" His eyes darted around the room swiftly. "You mean… Are you… Did," Yep he couldn't finish the sentence.
Future Castiel gave him an odd look, but then a small smirk, almost sneaky it its secrecy, formed on his lips. "Oh, you don't… no I guess you wouldn't." He paused. "Yes, I have orgies of both kinds." His smirk turned into a childish chuckle.
"Man, when you wanted to rebel against heaven, you really went for the kicker of all sins, huh?"
The former agent of heaven frowned. "No sin is greater than any other. That's just human weakness to make some sins more acceptable than others. Plus, I don't think it really matters at this point." He glanced at the drug paraphernalia that was strewn across the floor. "Wanna hit?"
'Hit?' Did Dean just really hear Castiel use jargon for drug use? "Uh, no. I think I'll pass."
"C'mon," Future Castiel dragged the word out, pleading.
The Winchester brother shook his head. First off, never had he ever heard Castiel sound whiny (or pleading for that matter). And secondly, he was notbeing peer pressured by Castiel of all people. "God, this is loopy."
The now-human Castiel sat indian style on the floor, picking up a half-used joint and studying the tip before gripping a match. In a fluid, practiced movement Castiel dragged the match along the uneven boards and re-lit the joint. He pulled the smoke into his lungs, closing his eyes momentarily. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me," he said, allowing the smoke to bellow out of his mouth and the drug to constrict his throat.
"Well, after what I've seen here I'm pretty sure I don't want to know anything more about future you. It's fucking depressing, man."
Castiel shrugged. "Maybe."
And here Dean was willing to just let this go and make an effort to forget the conversation forever, but the way Castiel said 'maybe'—like he knew something that would be very advantageous for Dean to know, made the man rethink his indifference. He cocked his head and said, "Fine, I'll bite."
"No." Castiel waved his hand absently. "You probably don't want to know. Actually, I'm pretty sure you don't. And I'd probably be breaking some time continuum law by telling you this… you know, change the past you change the future type shit?" He scratched his head and sniffed heavily.
Dean grabbed the nearest chair and swung it over to his friend. He sat in it backwards. "Well now you're just being a tease. Tell me."
The words made Castiel laugh for some reason. "Alright." He stood and moved over to his bed. Climbing over it, he went to his nightstand and opened the drawer there. He picked up a garment and threw it at Dean. "He always forgets them in the morning."
It landed right in Dean's lap. He fingered it for a moment, recognizing them as boxers, but then—they weren't just any boxers. "Whoa." He looked up at Castiel.
"Red Calvin Klein boxers with a black elastic strap and a rip in the side from that knife attack with that deranged demon way back in the day," Castiel described without even looking at the undergarment.
Dean was frozen. He stared at the underwear in disbelief. These were hisboxers, similar to ones he was wearing right now, in fact. "And by 'in the morning' you mean after a long meeting about how we're… you're going to kill Lucifer, right?"
"Sure," Castiel nodded. "A meeting that involves us both getting undressed and being on my bed. Whatever you want to think." He broke into a fit of giggles.
Dean didn't know which one was more disturbing, that he kept the same pair of underwear for five years or that his future self was fucking the future Castiel. He was pretty sure it was the underwear one because the other seemed… okay for some bizarre reason, almost like a should've-seen-that-one-coming moment.
"So you and my future self have sex every once in a while." God that was weird to say out loud.
"Try almost every night. Pretty much whenever he's not obsessing over Sam or trying to dodge women."
You mean, when I," he put up quotation marks, "stayed in Jane's cabin, I was actually…" he glanced at the bed.
"Here, yeah," Castiel confirmed, studying Dean intently.
"When did this start?"
"C'mon, Dean. You can't honestly deny that there's not a connection between you and past me."
"My Cas would –"
"Your Cas?" The ex-angel grinned.
"Past Cas is not like you. He would never do this." He pointed to his boxers.
"That's true. He would take more convincing, but," Castiel raised his hands. "It's not impossible."
"So future me started all this?"
"Yeah, but future you is a lot different now." For the first time there was sadness in Castiel's voice.
"How so?"
Castiel took a long drag. "You've hardened. You're detached at best, and when you're not you're angry and harsh. Not like you used to be." He sat back down, picking at his toes.
Outside the sound of an engine roared. A truck or large vehicle was approaching quickly.
"Speak of the Devil," Castiel snickered. "Wanna meet future you?"