So I've had this idea forever, changing so many multiple times, till I finally decided on what it should be about. So I will quickly summarize and warn you about this story. Since it turned out longer then expected, I've decided to split it into two chapters, so enjoy them both.
I would like to dedicate this story to the fellow authors of mine, RequiemofKingdomHearts and Cloudhead. She specializes in dark poetry and he is the king of platonic AkuRokushi. I recommend you check out their stories! Hope you all enjoy this, especially RequiemofKingdomHearts and Cloudhead! Thank you both for inspiring me to write this!
Warning: this story does have mentions of child abuse in it, you have been warned. Stop the abuse people! Aside from that, hope you all enjoy the Rokushi! I don't own Kingdom Hearts in any ways, or the cover image.
Enjoy the story!
She whispered, "I'm afraid of falling," and he whispered, "I have wings."
Nighttime in Twilight Town. Everyone was at home, some getting ready for bed or for late night work. Everything seemed calm and tranquil on this beautiful, star-filled night, but this was not the case for one of the homes there.
A raven-haired girl was thrown, head-first, onto the dusty, cold, wooden floor of the attic by an older man. The girl didn't even react as she smacked the wood, she just laid limp like a broken puppet that had its strings cut. Her clothes were too small on her and hugged her frame tightly. She couldn't have been anymore than sixteen years old, but it was hard to tell though from all the abrasions her body bore. Cuts and bruises littered her skin, imperfections to the marble color of her skin. Her eyes, perhaps once a brilliant blue like the ocean, had a cloudy look to them, like unclean lens. She eventually turned her head towards the attics only way in and out, only to be met with the angry eyes of her abuser.
Saix. Her uncle.
He glared back, his yellow eyes seeming to burn right through her and her soul. His lips twisted into a snarl, revealing his unusually sharp teeth. His long, blue hair shone with light from the moonlight streaming in from the window, also revealing his pointy ears at the same time. Just by looking at him, you could just get the feeling of deep intimidation from him, searing into your mind and causing fear to rise up and bury itself into the deepest part of your being. He was a predator, and if you got in his way, you became the prey.
"You will stay here, you wretched, insignificant puppet, and you will wallow in your worthlessness until it is all you see yourself as. You hear me?! Worthless!"
The attic door slammed behind him, sending dust and plaster falling onto the ground bellow and spreading clouds everywhere. A chunk fell on the girl's head and she winced as another shock of pain shot through her body. She shut her eyelids tightly and drew her legs into her chest and hugged them tight. The pressure between her eyelids became so great until she could not help but let two, thin tears drip from her face and down to the left as gravity affected them while she was curled up on her left side.
Her eyes squeezed tighter to let more out, but she had only received a tiny amount of water today from an ice cube that had fallen on the floor as Saix had gone to get a drink. She had quickly snatched it off the tiles the second his back was turned and quickly stuck in her mouth, ignoring the cold numbing of it as she let it melt on her tongue and wet her dry mouth and throat. That had been it. Her only food today had been three, shriveled grapes that had fallen on the floor as well and a tiny piece of a crust of something from the paper plate that he had thrown away.
After a minutes worth of crying silently on the cold floor, she slowly uncurled herself and cringed as her sore muscles cried out in pain as she tried to pull herself over to the windowsill on the wall beside her. It was her only gateway to ever seeing the outside world. Ever since she was a child, she had considered the stars to be her friends. Though she had long moved on out from her toddler years, slower though mentally, just seeing them just made her feel comforted. The window was a classic attic four panel, window pane with a hook in the middle to allow it to be opened. She reached for the hook and gently slid it up and out of its hold. She gritted her teeth as she moved onto her knees. They cracked in response.
She gently straightened out both of her hands and placed them both on one side of the glass. She shivered as the coolness from the glass flew up her arms and sent her hairs on end. She leaned forward and the hinges creaked as they slowly pried open, sending in a cold wind. She shivered as it hit her front and nearly sent her reeling back, but the girl inhaled a deep amount of air, her lungs aching as the drop in temperature hit them bottom first. She switched to breathing through her nostrils to keep herself warm. As soon as the wind came in it stopped. Her nose picked up the scent of the night air, pulling her into a more serene state. She tilted her head up, ignoring the recent bruise on her neck as the tiny drops of light found their way to her eyes. How frail they seemed up there, only revealed when the sun went away and darkness replaced the light and filled in the background of the sky so they could shine and be seen.
Her eyes searched against the velvet night until she found the star she always looked for. Right in front of her, straight out the window, a tiny light. As similar to every other star in the sky, but it was her star. Her mother's. The one she had pointed out the night she had had her worst nightmare.
She had been taken outside and sat in her mother's lap as they sat in the grassy part of her backyard. Her eyes followed to the little, night sun that her mother's finger had guided out. It was small, not at all different from the other stars out tonight. 'Why was it special,' she had asked her.
'Because it was spotted by you,' she answered. Her younger self had giggled, typical for a five-year-old's behavior. They had spent quite some time out there, stargazing, until sleep had begun to take over, tiredness filling her body. She slumped up against her mother's body, her head going back till it hit her shoulder. She remembered a small, yet gentle chuckle from her mother as she gathered her together and tightly in her arms as she made her way back into the house. She tried to stay up and managed till they got to her room where she was taken away from the warmth and safety of her mother and placed on the soft, yet cool mattress of her bed.
'Goodnight my little Xi-Xi. Sleep well. May your dreams be sweet. The nightmares will not bother you anymore.'
Yet the nightmares never did go away. Shortly after, her mother had died of an unknown illness, leaving her in the 'care' of her late father's brother. That is, if beating, starving and locking her in the attic was considered as caring. He had always been remote and aloof, never visiting her family before. She always thought of him as mysterious and strange. That is until she met him.
He was a monster.
She had barely turned six when she was placed with him. Right away, she knew she was in danger. Her first week, she woke up at night, slumped against a wall, after she had smacked into it earlier when she had quietly tip-toed passed him when he was watching TV and her bare, exposed foot took in a shard of glass from a broken beer bottle. She had screamed in pain, setting the predator off as he screamed at her to shut up and his arm made contact with her. She got up dizzily off the ground and swayed as she walked to the empty couch and collapsed face first onto it. Her first day as victim had been first of many days, leading into weeks, then months, then years.
Next thing she knew, it became a daily routine. She stayed in the attic all day, only coming out of it when told for... well, whenever he said so. He would almost always leave her alone in the house. To make sure she didn't try to escape, the door and windows were locked tightly, and with only with a key that he had that then could they be unlocked. Trapped in, she tried searching around for something to sustain her, something that she could digest without being discovered. And you want to know the other thing he locked so she wouldn't get into? The fridge. Same lock as the door and windows. Her only chances of getting food and water aside from the gruel he less-than-often gave her were from the trash and then near-parched water dispenser from the fridge.
The house was exceedingly silent throughout the day. She hated the silence. It drove her mad, slowly pushing her into insanity. Not like a killer's insanity or one you might find of a person being placed into an asylum, but a different kind of madness. She craved for sound. She constantly tried to find it. She would press her ear tightly against the window to at least try and hear something outside. More often than not it was silent too, but each muffled sound from the outside soothed her. Sound comforted her. It was the only sounds she could listen to without getting hurt from.
He usually came home around 6:00 or 7:00 p.m-ish. She always tried to get out of his way when he stormed in, listening to the empty room for the fearful breaths of a little girl trying to hide from him. He always found her though, always found her and found a reason to yell at her or hurt her. Over the years, she had discovered if she remained quiet and bit down on her lip to stop from screaming, he would eventually tire of beating her up and not receiving a reaction from it so he would stop quicker and leave her alone. However, with this method it also had a price.
Holding in her emotions, her fear, and her pain. Having to martyr all throughout the beatings, both verbally and mentally. Every beating she endured, every word she refused to let come out of her mouth, she forced to hold in and not reveal her sentiments. Every time his words hit her emotionally, it hit her mentally too. Her pent-up emotions grew under the will of submission. She no longer feared the beatings, she accepted them without reply. His fists would leave bruises on her limbs and face yet she let him hit her, not bothering to shield herself any longer. She was no longer in control of herself, she was his puppet now. A broken, emotionless puppet.
Yet she looked up at the star. It was the only thing stopping her from ending it, she had to be strong. Even though her heart was cracked, it still was the thing inside of her that made her just strong enough to survive another day. The star glowed with a small amount of light that made her heart feel less heavy. She gazed at it tonight, feeling healing going into her. She closed her eyes tightly, letting it absorb without anything hindering it. She could feel the small rays of starlight on her closed eyelids and could tell that there was nothing shading it in her sight from behind the thin, skin covers.
Suddenly, she felt the light behind her eyes become covered by something. Her eyes shot open again and instantly closed as she saw something approaching straight towards her at high speeds. She heard as startled yelp and felt the wind stream past her head almost painfully before she fell onto her back and whatever the object was crashed into some of the boxes placed up in the attic. She heard the object or creature yelp in both pain and surprise, but she didn't dare open her eyes till she knew it was safe to open them again.
"Oh man," she heard a voice say. Her body instinctively flinched. It was clearly a boy's voice, and since the only male she had ever met was Saix, her view on the entire human race was that they were savage and cruel and would try to find ways to hurt her. Yet she allowed her eyes to open just slightly. Though the second she caught sight of him, they shot wide open.
It was a boy. He appeared to be around her age-wise, just maybe older than her by a year or two, but he was unlike any other ones she had seen before from out her window. His eyes were the exact same as her's, a bright, ocean-blue, yet while her's held fear and a dull cloudiness, his sparkled with clarity and held curiosity in their depths. His hair was a honey-brown, the style all windswept-like as if he had just gotten out of bed. His clothes were similar to the ones she had seen boys outside wear, but there was something different about them. For one, they seemed awfully bulky, and she couldn't see why till he turned around and she could see what made him different from the others. Her eyes widened and her mouth gaped open in shock.
This boy had wings.
Creamy white feathers, ranging in various lengths, compiled together into two, huge wings sticking out from this boy's shoulder blades. They were almost as big as he was. He shook off the dizziness and his wings followed the movements. A few down feathers shook loose along with the dirt and dust in the attic. The boy started coughing as the dust reached his nose. She held her breath and tried to make herself as small as possible so that he wouldn't see her.
Then he turned. Their eyes locked on to each other. He sucked in a deep breath of air while she released hers in shock. Both their eyes were exact mirror copies of each other. While his held warmth and innocence while hers held fear and brokenness. His eyes suddenly widened in shock as he then realized he had been seen. He quickly stood up and dusted his clothes off as his other arm went to the back of his head and rubbed it.
"Uh. Ah heh, um. Beautiful night we're, um, having tonight," he stuttered. She winced at the sound of his voice, though it was noticeably lighter and sounded nicer than Saix's.
She pulled her knees closer to her chest and whimpered. "Are you an angel sent from heaven to take me away from here," she whispered, almost inaudibly. He cocked his head in confusion.
"Um, I'm sorry, but what did you say," he asked as he took a step closer to hear her better. She whimpered again and he stopped abruptly in shock.
"I-I said are you an angel from heaven to take me away from here," she said a bit louder this time. The confusion lessened in the boy's expression.
"A-angel? I'm not an angel," the boy replied. His hand moved from the back of his neck to the top of his head. "Or at least I don't think I am."
"Oh," was all she could come up with to reply. She looked down at her toes and laid her head on her knees. He looked at her closely. She was maybe about his age and she had short cropped, raven hair, pale skin, and her eyes was the same as his, only much cloudier. He stared at her harder and noticed that she had lots of scabs and bruises on her arms and skin.
He changed his focus to the room he had crashed into. It was clearly an attic with a few sparse things in it, a few boxes and old furniture. But the thing he noticed there was most of was dust. A thick layer of dust lay everywhere and on everything, on the floor, on the walls, in the air. Everywhere. He looked down to his shoes and noticed there were footprints made in the dusty floor. This attic was so... dirty. So worn. So neglected.
He turned back to the girl, who had been staying still and silent as he looked around. Something about her, something just inside him made him think that she and this attic were alike in so many ways. They were both so... abandoned.
"Um, I'm sorry miss for, ah, crashing into your... um," he stuttered as his brain quickly tried to come up with a term for this place.
"Room." Her head rose and their eyes locked again.
"Your room? Um, right, I'm sorry for crashing into your room." He began rubbing the back of his head again. "So... I'm Roxas. What's yours?" She looked shocked at the question. He thought it was just at the change of the conversation, but for her it was something different entirely that shocked her. Her name? What was her name?
Tool. Doll. Pawn. Slave. Heartless. It.
Puppet.
Those were all the names Saix gave her, but what was her real name? It seemed so long since she's heard it or even remembered it. Her last memory of anyone calling her by it was her mother, right before she passed away. What was it again? The length? The syllables? The sound of it being pronounced? A tiny echo came into her mind. Her brain ached as it tried to grasp onto it.
"Si-, Shi-, Xi-, Xi-Xion." Her real name? It had been so long that having it come back to her seemed so foreign now, like it had never been familiar. But... Xion. The name bounced in her brain and the familiarity of it came back to her.
"Xion," the boy repeated, his voice sending her back to reality and she almost flinched as her true name was called for the first time in years. "Xion," he repeated again, letting the name roll of his tongue. "I like that name. You have a very pretty name. Nice to meet you, Xion," Roxas said.
Her... her name was pretty? He thought her name was pretty? She felt blood rush to her cheeks, causing them to burn with a visible red. No one had ever paid her a kind word like that before. Not since her mother's time. "T-thank you," she whispered.
"You're welcome," he replied softly. He then took another step towards her, his foot causing the floorboard underneath to creak under his weight. Xion shook as she watched him. She hugged herself tighter as he came over to her until he was just a yard away. He bent his knees and leaned down to the floor as he sat on his knees before her.
"Um, p-pardon me, miss, but why are you in the attic? Isn't it pretty late to be out of your room and exploring this dark and dusty place this time at night," he asked. She looked at him and saw his eyes and expression. Curiosity, innocence, and concern were evident throughout his entire face. He didn't know about here. How could he? He had only crashed into here just a minute ago.
Sniffing and rubbing her tired eyes, she replied, "Actually, this... is... my room." She looked down a bit awkwardly at her fingers and began to play with her hands a bit.
"Oh," he replied, also feeling the awkwardness of the question asked. The room became silent again as the two tried to shake off a bit of the atmosphere that was making them feel weird and uncomfortable.
"So, um... d-do you like living up here," he asked tentatively. He wanted to be the one who would break the tension set in-between them. Xion squeezed herself tighter if that even was any more possible.
"I-I don't h-have a choice," she stuttered out. His eyes widened as he stared at her.
"But why," he breathed out, almost not speaking at all. He stared at her in confusion, then in shock. She had completely buried her head into her legs and her black bangs covered her face. To his surprise, thanks to his exceptional hearing as well, he heard her breath became ragged and he could actually hear her heart begin to thump into her chest harder.
Thump... his form froze as he heard a quick breath of air being sucked in... Thump... he then heard it, a short, uneven intake... Thump... he became rigid as a sound came from her lips, one that made him feel sad to his own heart. Her breaths, inhaling and exhaling, were now shaking her body. Her voice began to get a little more audible as he heard her whimper an see her shiver with sadness. Then he realized why.
She was hurting.
Even he could understand. His kind, not quite angels and not quite humans but somewhere in between, could understand a hurting heart and another hidden trick was they could actually hear the heart. The heart didn't necessary speak or give out clear messages, but it could send out emotions and signals that allowed him to decode and, sometimes, even feel what the user was. He could feel her heart now, his own replicating the feelings inside her.
Instantly his body froze up and he collapsed face first onto the floor, gripping his chest, right over his heart, as if he had just been stabbed. His heart was experiencing such mass negative emotions. Pain. Suffering. Depression. Agony. Fear. Hurt. Sadness. Injury. Suffering. Abandonment.
It was so intense. It felt like he had been shot in the heart. He fell onto his side as tears gathered behind his eyelids. He squeezed his eyes tightly and the fluid was pressure out, dampening his eyelashes before going over the base of his bottom eyelids and falling down the side of his cheeks. Both tears dripped down his rouge-tinted cheeks, leaving shiny, thin trails of liquid behind. The liquid began to dry in the dusty, attic air, only to be replenished by a new set of saline drops.
Yet the tears were of no aid to soothing the pain in his heart. The pain he felt in hers. Sucking in a breath through his nose in a sniffle, he shakily pushed himself by his hands and used his arms to support himself back onto his knees. His legs hit the floorboards with a soft thump. He panted heavily and stared towards Xion again, his vision blurry and grey with a veil of moisture building up more and more. Xion could only be seen as a foggy blur before him.
He moved his arms towards her in a crawl. His palm struck the cold floor in a slap and he nearly buckled and fell flat on his face. He panted heavily as he attempted another step towards her. His muscles ached and he felt them drain of energy. Desperate to get to her, he disconnected his bond with her heart and instantly he felt all the negative emotion disappeared. He sucked in air rapidly, trying to fill his aching lungs and regain his senses quicker.
His eyes turned up at Xion again and he fund he could see her much easier. Brushing away the excess fluid also helped. He tried again to crawl to her, this time his limbs not so wobbly. His distance between him and her shortened till he got back to sitting on his knees before her sobbing form. His hand tentatively reached out for her shoulder, before it and its twin suddenly darted beside her, looping around her back and shoulders and pulling her towards his chest. He held her in a comforting hold, letting her cry into his neck. She froze up, whimpered and squirmed in offense, but then he felt his hand brush up and down her back. Up and down. Up again, down again. Making circular motions in a calm, soothing way. Xion stopped resisting and cried openly into his arms.
She then realized that he was not like him. He wasn't at all like her uncle Saix. Where as he took pleasure in her pain and suffering, Roxas was trying to null it. Instead of harmful words, ignoring her and allowing he to experience unimaginable pain, Roxas spoke nothing and the silence comforted her, not like when she was left alone in the house, but his mere presence had an uplifting inside her. He treated her like she existed. He made her feel like she mattered, a little girl needing to be comforted. He was soothing and taking away the pain her heart held for so long, making the burden she carried more bearable.
He said he wasn't an angel, but he felt like it. Her guardian, shining up above to finally come down to give physical comfort now aside from the feeling she got from just staring up at him.
She didn't want him to leave, but she knew, in the deep crevices and recesses of her mind and heart, that he would be leaving in a little while. She didn't want him to go, so she held on tighter. He hugged her tighter in return. She buried her head into the crook of his neck, taking peace in his warmth and the light vibrations of his beating heart. Her tears stopped flowing and she shut her eyes tightly to use her ears to hone of that small, yet powerful organ functioning inside him.
Bump bump... bump bump... bump bump... bump bump... bump bump...
She found herself listening in on his vital organ, taking in how safe and secure she felt listening to it. She wanted to hold it close to her, hold it to her chest and never let it go. It made her heart ache with pain, pain of wanting to sync with his. It may had been a far-fetched idea, since hearts cannot be controlled of how fast or hard they beat or can they match the exact beat and tempo of others, but she considered the thought of it to be so gentle and comforting. Like it made her complete in a way.
He made her feel whole again.
As she predicted. Roxas couldn't stay for much longer. He'd said he had to get back to his home, since they might be worried about him taking so long from his simple 'night flight'. She didn't want to let him go. His small amount of time there meant the world to her. His presence brought her comfort, taking away her sorrows and suffering away just for so long that she felt more whole, rather than the broken puppet or doll part she was meant to play.
A person rather than a puppet. A human being rather than a doll. Someone who held value and self esteem rather than the name given by Saix. Worthless. No longer wretched and treated lower than dirt, she was somebody. Not a nobody, not anybody, but someone. He made her feel like that and she almost wanted to restrain him from leaving here, or make him take her with him to wherever he would go.
But she knew he couldn't, and it seemed to her that he didn't like it either. He kept looking back at her as he slowly put his first foot out and into the outside air, still as glittering and dark as it had been when he had left it and crashed into a person's room earlier that night. Then, as soon as he had placed his entire left leg out, she finally stopped him
"Don't leave," she said, grasping on to his sleeve gently, but tightly. He turned back and saw her scared eyes. He felt his heart begin to ache. He didn't want to go as much as she didn't want him too, but he had too. Axel would be upset if he didn't get back before curfew, and he was the one who had taken him in when no one else did. He was like his older brother and a father to him. He gently pried her hand off and looked directly into her eyes.
"I'll come back again soon. I promise," he finally said. He brought his hand closer to her face and nearly flinched back as she shut her eyes tightly. His thoughts went to pondering of whom or what had made her like this. Trying again, he flattened out his finger and gently pressed his palm to her left cheek. Xion flinched again, but then loosened up as she felt the warmth coming from his hand. He rubbed his fingers against her cheek, making a small sound, almost like a purr, come from her throat. It seemed like she hadn't felt any affection or comfort from anyone in a long time.
"I'll try to be back here tomorrow night. Will you be here too," he asked. Xion opened her eyes, revealing her sapphire orbs again. She lifted her head and lowered it as much as she could without losing Roxas's hand on her face, but eventually he did slowly lift his hand and she shivered as the cool night air kissed her skin. Roxas pushed out the window till his head and torso were out. She then watched as his wings spread apart as an updraft suddenly caught up under him and started causing him to rise.
She gasped as he suddenly fell out of the window and disappeared from sight. Her feet immediately rushed her to the window and she looked down, preparing to see a broken body on the cobblestones below. Her eyes narrowed as they tried adjusting to the darkness and trying to find him. Suddenly, something streaked up and she quickly backed inside to avoid getting hurt. Her eyes widened at the shadow before her, staring back and smiling.
Roxas. His wings were fully outstretched, allowing the wind to hold him up. They were as wide as Roxas's height. The thin amount of light from the crescent moon illuminated each feather shaft and gave it a glossy sheen. They were absolutely stunning to behold. She looked at his smiling face. He lifted his hand to her and waved before turning and flying into the night, going at swift speeds and up higher and higher, farther and farther, till he disappeared into the darkness.
Her eyes left when he had left from her sight. She pulled back into the room and shut the windows tightly, but left the lock loose, not wanting him to be trapped out there when he arrived back here. The floorboards creaked under her weight as she made the distance towards her cot. It was hard, lumpy and smelled musty. The pillow barely had anything soft in it for her to rest her head on and the blanket was dusty, worn thin and was full of holes. It barely made for a good night's sleep, but it was better than sleeping on the creaky floorboards.
Her body felt drained of any energy as she sluggishly slid her hand under the ratty covers and lifted them up as she slid her body in and underneath them. Her hand and head plopped on the bed as tiredness immediately began to creep over. A cloud of dust had risen from the pillow when her head fell onto it. Some of the particles found themselves trapped in the intake of Xion's breathing and flew into her nostrils with the tug of airflow.
Xion's breath hitched as the foreign matter tickled her nose and her lungs couldn't absorb it in. Her body seized up as it prepared to expel it. Her head thrust forward as her mouth and nose sprayed out the dirt, along with some tiny moisture droplets, from her system. Once it was out, she breathed in some air that lacked a large quantity of the substance and slowly lifted her languid hand to the underside of her nose and rubbed any remainder of the stuff that might cause her to sneeze anymore.
Drowsy eyelids began to struggle to keep open, as if invisible weights had been placed at the base of each cover. Muscles begged to be put to rest as well. The night air made her feel lethargic and her weary mind agreed with her body. She tiredly moved her torso and legs closer to the far end of the bed before turning to her side and curling them up along with the covers to better conserve heat. Sluggish arms moved under and over her pillow, encasing it and pulling it tighter against her head and neck. As the last bits of her conscious mind began fading off into the oblivion of sleep, her last thoughts were of the winged boy that had been here with her and had left just a few moments ago.
Taking one last sigh before she let sleep finally, her last contemplation was that if tonight was all just a dream, she hoped never to wake up again.
I hope all of you enjoyed the first chapter. The next chapter is already posted so you can just go a read it now. Please don't forget to leave a review for this chapter. Remember, reviews are loved and cherished. Sincerely, v.t.7