I don't know how to describe this, except to say that it's five times Daryl and Carol had to say goodbye. It's very sad, except for number 6 (when they didn't say goodbye). Lots of tearjerker scenes, so have kleenex ready. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
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1. Gone
"Daryl!"
The scream that erupted from Carol's throat probably caught the attention of every walker for miles around, but she did not care. For two days, she had stared at the fence, hoping and praying Daryl had somehow escaped Woodbury. Rick, Michonne, Maggie and Glenn had been back for a day, and while she had been grateful for their survival and return, there had only been one question on her lips.
Where was Daryl?
Her feet carried her over the grass and to the gate, which afforded her a better look at Daryl's oncoming form. He was limping and bloody, and one hand firmly clutched his side.
"Daryl!"
Finally, she reached the gate and unlocked it. Walkers could be heard as she flung the gate open and held her hand out to Daryl.
He breathed heavily as he limped up to her.
As soon as he was close enough to touch, Carol grabbed him and pulled him into the safety of the prison yard. Rick and Glenn appeared out of nowhere and locked the gate again, just in time to prevent a walker from entering their safe haven.
Daryl staggered and suddenly pitched forward.
Gasping, Carol managed to catch Daryl as he fell. Together they sank to the ground. "Daryl? Daryl, what is it?" She brushed his hair back and anxiously studied his face.
He coughed and blood speckled his lips. "Carol…"
A shiver went through her. "I'm right here, Daryl." She adjusted them until he was between her legs and resting back against her chest. His head lolled against her shoulder as he continued to cough up blood.
"Is he okay? How hurt is he?" Rick demanded as he knelt down beside them.
"I don't know." Carol gently pried Daryl's hand away from his side. The wound she saw was lethal, and they all knew it.
"I'll get Hershel-"
"No!" Daryl snapped, leaning more heavily against Carol.
"Daryl, this is bad. We have to-"
"Nothin' you can do. Leave me be."
Carol felt tears stream down her cheeks. He was dying and he knew it. He did not want to be saved, because he knew he couldn't be. Like the strong man he was, he wanted to go out on his own terms.
When Rick did not move, Daryl growled, "I said get away!"
That was enough. Looking morose, Rick and Glenn stood. They both touched Daryl's arm before backing away.
Once they were gone, Daryl sighed. "I ain't got long, so hush and listen."
Carol nodded miserably.
"I ain' got much, but it's all yours. You're tough as hell an' I don' like anyone else." His voice grew increasingly weak as he spoke.
"Daryl…"
"Don't argue with me, woman. Jus' do what I'm tellin' you."
Sniffling, Carol smoothed his hair back and kissed his forehead.
He smiled cheekily. "You missed, woman."
Laughing tearfully, she leaned down and kissed his lips. He tasted of blood, tears and regret. Her hand gently cradled his head as the kiss intensified.
When they broke apart, his eyes were closed and his chest was barely moving. She held him closer and slowly rocked him, knowing it would be the last time she ever held him.
He sighed suddenly, and Carol moved her hand to his heart. He had the heart of a lion, and it was giving out way too soon. There was one last thump against her palm, and then he was gone.
Sobbing, Carol held him even tighter as the warmth began to leave his body.
"Goodbye, Daryl."
2. Cold as Blood
It happened before she realized what was going on.
Daryl had been teaching her for weeks, training her in all the weapons he possessed, as well as in hand-to-hand combat. He had tried not to look too proud when she shot her first deer and they cooked it together for the group. That night was one of the best nights they had had in a long time. Daryl had sat close to her beside the campfire, his leg gently touching hers.
As memories of the night touched her heart, a shambling walker came up behind her silently and latched onto her arm. A scream erupted from Carol's throat as the thing ripped a chunk of flesh from her arm. The stench of death permeated her nose as a burning agony raced through her broken flesh.
It was bound to happen sooner or later, she supposed.
An arrow suddenly whirred through the air, splitting half of the rotten skull. It released her and hit the ground.
Carol looked up to see Daryl lowering his crossbow. The expression of panic, agony and defeat on his face was enough to break her.
He rushed across the ground and reached out, grabbing her good arm. "C'mon," he ordered, giving her a pull. "We gotta get ya back to Rick. We can still…"
She dug her heels into the soft dirt, shaking her head sadly. "No, Daryl."
He spun around, eyes wide. "What?"
"I said, no." Her voice was soft but firm.
"Please, Carol. I can't… I can't lose ya, too." They had both already lost so many…
"I know," she soothed, unable to resist closing the distance between them. "But you're going to be just fine." Slowly her hand came up and cupped his cheek. Any other time, he would have pulled away and given her a sullen look. But this time, he leaned into her hand. "I promise, you'll be fine."
"Can't promise," he choked.
"Yes, I can. If anyone is going to survive this, it's you." She smiled tenderly as her other hand came up and smoothed his messy hair back. The pain in her arm was intensifying, and she was sure she could feel herself rotting already. She had to make this fast. "I love you, Daryl. I should have said it sooner, but I do." She had no idea when she had fallen in love with the foul-mouthed, angry, infuriating roughneck, but she had. And she had fallen hard.
He turned his head and lightly kissed her palm. "I…"
"I know." Leaning up, she kissed his lips tentatively. It was not at all how she had imagined their first kiss would be, but it was them.
The kiss was brief. As she pulled away, her hand reached around to her back. Her fingers curled around the handgun she kept there.
Before he could stop her, she whipped the gun out and aimed it at her temple. "Goodbye, Daryl." Just a little pressure on the trigger and she was gone.
Daryl stared at her body for the longest time before he knelt down beside her. The smell of fresh blood hung thick and heady in the evening air.
"Bye, Carol…"
3. Blood In, Bleed Out
Never in a million years would Carol have predicted this happening.
After the attack on Woodbury, she had spent days by the fence just waiting. Rick, Michonne, Maggie and Glenn had made it back to the prison, but Daryl had not. She had refused to believe he was dead. He was too tough, too strong to go out that way. She had been right.
Early on the third day of her watch, she saw Daryl approach the prison, along with his brother. Carol's heart sank at the sight of the older Dixon. There was no way this would go over well with the rest of the group. They would do anything to keep Daryl, but Merle had beaten the hell out of Glenn and nearly let Maggie be raped. He was not a good man. In fact, he was the worst kind of man. There was no way he could be allowed into the prison with the rest of them. However, if it came down to it and they turned him away, she had hope that Daryl would stay with them, with her.
However, it was only hope, and in this cruel world, hope was nothing.
Tears of misery and regret rolled down her cheeks as the scene played out just as she had thought it would. Merle would not be allowed into the prison. He would have to leave, and Daryl would have to decide exactly where his loyalties laid. Blood or friendship.
He had chosen blood.
After his decision, he and Merle had walked out of the safety of the prison. Too hurt and broken to try to stop him, Carol stood at the fence and watched. Her fingers clutched the chain link fence.
Daryl got onto the motorcycle, and then waited for his brother to climb on behind him. As he started the engine, he looked over his shoulder.
Their eyes met, and their mouths formed one simple word.
Goodbye.
4. Lost
How the hell could this be happening?
Daryl heard the blood rushing in his ears, heard his own heart pounding violently against his ribcage. His nails dug deeper and deeper into his palms.
Faintly he heard soft cries echoing in his ears, but the red hot of his own rage and helplessness overwhelmed them.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
Suddenly something was placed in his arms. His vision slowly cleared as he looked down at the wailing newborn. He struggled with the rage and grief as Rick's voice suddenly became clear in his ears.
"…it's a girl…"
Why did it matter? Carol was gone. This…thing had taken away the only woman who had cared about him in his entire miserable existence. When she told him she was pregnant, he had been thrilled, then terrified. They were both aware of the risks, not just the ones imposed by this new, terrible world. Carol was older, and her pregnancy with Sophia had not been an easy one. The first three months had been spent with everyone holding their breath. Once she was well in her second trimester, Daryl organized regular trips into nearby towns to scavenge for supplies and whatever Carol wanted. She was his and he was determined to protect her.
Halfway into her pregnancy, the attitude of the group shifted. Everyone grew excited, because they all loved baby Judith and this baby would be just as wonderful. They were sure of it. Everyone fussed and watched over Carol, but Daryl went the farthest. He made sure he was never more than a few feet away from her at any given time, except when he absolutely had to go for a hunt or a run into town.
He watched with fascination as she seemed to change every day, her belly growing and swelling with life. More than once when he was stressed, he put his hand on her stomach and felt that child move, felt his child move, and he was calmed. Before he even saw the child, he knew he loved her.
All of that was changed when Carol went into labor. Everything had started in the usual way, but when Hershel and Rick began to worry, and Daryl was ushered from the room, he knew something was wrong.
He hadn't even been able to say goodbye to her.
The squirming against his chest brought him back to the present. He finally looked down at the baby cradled in his arms. Feelings of anger, resentment, and love all hit him like a tidal wave. He struggled for control over his emotions as he turned away from Rick.
"What are you going to name her?" the sheriff called quietly.
Daryl looked at his daughter's red, scrunched up face and thought.
"Carol Rose."
"That's a nice name."
Daryl just sighed as he carried his daughter outside, into the warmth of the spring afternoon.
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The next day, they buried Carol underneath a tree on the property. She had liked the tree and they had spent hours underneath its shade, just enjoying each other's presence in moments that were few and far between in this wicked world.
Hershel said a few words as everyone stood around the grave. Daryl held Rose close, not wanting to relinquish her to anyone, even for a minute. Even though there was some residual anger and resentment over being left alone with the baby, his paternal instincts had awoken and he refused to let his daughter out of his sight. He had lost Carol, but she would have kicked his ass if he treated Rose any less than the precious gift she was.
After the service, the group slowly retreated, member by member, until only Daryl and Hershel stood at Carol's grave.
Clearing his throat, Hershel retrieved a folded piece of paper from his jacket and handed it to the younger man. "Carol asked me to give you this, son."
Daryl took the paper, dumbfounded. "What…?"
Hershel just squeezed his shoulder in a fatherly gesture before leaving the grave as well.
Shifting Rose to one arm, Daryl slowly unfolded the paper and drank in Carol's cursive scrawl.
Daryl,
I don't have very long, and I'm almost certain I'm not going to survive this birth. Try not to be too upset about it. I'm not. Sophia's birth was also difficult for me, and I never regretted her. I won't regret this baby, either, even if I'll never see her grow up. I already love her so much; I've loved her since the moment I knew about her. Knowing I'll never hold her doesn't hurt as much because she will live. She'll have you, even if she won't have me. I know you'll love her and protect her. You are amazing with Judith, so I can only imagine how you might be with a child of your flesh and blood.
I know you're afraid of losing me, but try not to be angry. This baby is going to get you over my death. It won't be easy, I know. But pain doesn't last forever. Neither does grief. You taught me that. You helped me at the lowest point in my life, after I'd lost my husband and my precious Sophia. You were my guiding light, my North Star. My one constant in this terrible world. I love you, Daryl, and I love this baby. Keep her safe and love her like I know you can. I'll be watching both of you from now on. I promise.
All my love forever,
Carol.
By the time he was finished with the letter, his vision was blurred by hot tears. Slowly, almost reverently, he folded the paper again and tucked it safely away inside of his pocket. Her words rang through his head as he held up his little daughter and studied her red face. She opened her eyes and yawned, squirming. Shushing her, Daryl brought her back against her chest, settling his chin on the top of her tiny head.
"I'll take care of her, Carol," he whispered as he leaned over and gently touched the cross with his free hand. "Don't you worry about that."
His hand slowly fell away from the cross. Sniffling, he stood upright again and backed away from the fresh grave.
"Bye, Carol."
5. Pretty Much Gone Already
It was only a matter of time, she mused as they sat huddled in the tiny room.
Outside, they could both hear walkers groaning and scratching at the door. They had been separated from the rest of the group in all the chaos, and they had taken refuge in an abandoned house. There was only one window in the room, but it wasn't large enough for either of them to crawl through.
So now they were sitting in the room, nowhere to run, nothing left to do. Daryl had hit the walls repeatedly and Carol had cried, but now they sat in resigned silence, hands linked together as the stench of death wafted closer and closer.
"Daryl?" Carol finally spoke.
"Yeah?"
"I loved you. You know that, right?" She turned her head and smiled sadly at him.
He shifted, his fingers gripping hers tighter. "Yeah. I loved ya, too." He swiped a hand over his forehead. "Probably the only woman I ever…loved."
Sighing, she rested her head on his shoulder as he fingered the gun in his lap.
"Two bullets," he commented almost absently as the door creaked beneath the weight of the dead.
"No way out."
"No goodbyes."
"No goodbyes," she repeated. Her hand came up and gently cupped his cheek in her hand. Their lips crashed together in a desperate kiss.
Daryl swung the gun up suddenly and pulled the trigger. Carol's weight collapsed into him, still so warm and reassuring. Without hesitating, he pointed the gun at his temple and drew Carol tighter against him as the door splintered.
The second shot was heard for miles around, shattering the deathly still of the night.
6. Daisies
All was lost. Carol was certain of this.
After Rick and Michonne rescued Maggie and Glenn from Woodbury and Daryl had escaped, Woodbury had retaliated. The showdown had ended with most of their group dead. Rick, Hershel, Beth, Axel, they were all gone. Michonne had disappeared, and Maggie and Glenn had taken in Carl. They had attempted to take Judy in as well, but Daryl had threatened to kill both of them and they had dropped the subject.
Now they were driving away as fast as they possibly could. Daryl had found a truck in decent shape and loaded his bike and their supplies into the truck bed. Glenn and Maggie loaded their belongings as well as Carl's into the Subaru. The plan was to get as far away from the prison and Woodbury as possible.
Daryl looked at Carol as he drove. She was sitting beside him, holding Judy tight and wearing a look of grief and fear.
Wanting to reassure her, Daryl reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder. "Hey."
Carol looked at him, surprised. "What?"
"We're gonna be fine. You, me, and little ass kicker. We're gonna be okay."
"You can't promise that, Daryl," she whispered.
"Course I can." His grip tightened on her shoulder. "We're gonna find a place an' we'll be fine."
The road ahead was long and empty, but for the moment, his words were all she had to believe in.
So she did.
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"Mama!"
Carol looked up to see Judy running across the yard, her arms outstretched as she squealed. She smiled widely.
Three years had passed since their escape from the prison and Woodbury's attack. It had taken three months to find somewhere suitable to settle, but they had. It was another farm, large and spacious. There was a house nestled next to a river and plenty of room for the children to run. The day they had found it had been nothing less than a miracle. They shared the house with Maggie, Glenn and the children, and a second house on the property was occupied by a small group of men and women they had encountered along the way. The second group luckily included a doctor and a teacher, two professions needed in the new, uncertain world.
Judy reached the porch and flung herself into her mother's arms. "Hide me!" she shrieked.
"Why?" Carol looked up to see Carl and Daryl approaching the porch. They were both covered in mud and looked exceptionally annoyed. She had to stifle a giggle.
"Daryl! Carol!"
Glenn's voice interrupted the revenge certainly intended on by Carl and Daryl. Four heads turned in the Asian boy's direction.
"It's Maggie! She's having the baby!"
Carol stood up with Judy in her arms. This baby would be the second child born to Maggie and Glenn. The first, a sweet little boy named Samuel, had been born early the previous spring. None of the babies born on the farm had been planned, but as always life went on, even if the world didn't.
She beamed at Daryl, who gave her a grin of his own. They had welcomed a son of their own. Alexander Daryl Dixon had been born in the middle of the night just four months ago. Her pregnancy had not been an easy one, but the moment they both saw Alex, they knew he had been worth it. She had chosen the name Alexander because it meant defender of men, which his father was and she hoped he would be as well. It was a strong name for a strong little boy.
Glenn did a strange dance and spun around, taking off across the grass. Carl took off after him, eager as always to help.
Daryl approached Carol and held out his hands, taking Judy into his arms. "I think it's gonna be another boy. Maggie swears it's a girl."
"She hasn't been wrong yet," Carol mused as Alex's cry carried from the house. At least out here, they were safe. There had been no walker sightings in two years. Maybe with more time, civilization would slowly begin to flourish again. The world would never be as it once was, and they knew it. But perhaps one day soon, all of the dead walking the earth would be laid to rest, making room for the living to dominate once more.
"I'll go see if I can help." Daryl kissed Judy and handed her back to Carol, then kissed Carol's cheek softly. "You go check on the boy."
She gave him a mock salute that earned her a laugh. They were all relaxed and finally content after so much sorrow and loss. She missed her daughter still, but now she had Daryl, Judith, Alexander, and the rest of their little makeshift family.
As she headed back to the house, she noticed several wildflowers blooming next to the porch. She smiled and brought Judy's attention to them. "Look, Jude. Flowers."
Judy beamed. "Can I have one, Mama?"
"Of course, angel." Leaning down, Carol picked a purple flower. Then she tucked it into her daughter's unruly curls. "There. Perfect."
Judy giggled again, and Carol finally realized she was right where she was meant to be.
She was home.
Finis.
A/N: Well, there ya'll have it. Hope everyone has enjoyed this labor of love. Thanks for reading, and please review!