A/N: Hey folks, this is my first submitted work to , any comments are appreciated. Couple of Caveats.
The kids are in their Freshman year of Highschool. The Jungle movie happened, only the great reveal was interrupted. The Story explains the rest. I've tried to keep all the characters as true to themselves as I could while also allowing me to tell this story. I hope you enjoy it.
As far as Helga G. Pataki was concerned, it was simply yet another dull dreary day in a never ending series of dull dreary days. The 14yr old high school student was currently sitting in her room, elbow propped on her desk, staring down at the letter she had finished. She held a pink colored pen idly in one hand, sighing audibly as she looked over the perfect penmanship spilled out over the page.
Dear Arnold
I don't know why I keep doing this Arnold. Why do I keep writing these letters, never sending them to you, and yet I just write, and write, and write them like some crazy person. I guess it's simply just another way for me to get all my frustrations from daily life out. Not that I don't have people to talk to about all the things which are bugging me. Don't get me wrong, while Pheebs is usually busy these days sucking face with Geraldo, or out spending time with him, she'll still drop everything if I need her. Heck, I hate to admit it, but even ole Miriam and Bob are trying to be better people these days. And as much as it pains me to say it, little miss perfect sunshine Olga being back home even gives me another person to talk to. Still, these letters have been my one refuge Arnold. The one place I could completely say what's on my mind, and never worry about it being judged. Isn't that really just the most crazy thing about me though? I mean here I am writing to you with no intention of ever mailing it. Oh sure, I wish I could be pouring my heart out to you, telling you everything, but in the end I'll just chicken out and pull this letter from the mailbox just like all the others.
I don't know anymore Arnold. I'm at the end of my rope. It's been thee years since you moved away. Three years, and I think, I just think I can't handle it anymore. I have to let you go my sweet football head. I can't do this to myself anymore. Yet I don't know if I can give you up either! Sure, I tried Dating, Sid and I made an effort at it, but I knew the entire time he was wishing he was with someone else just like I was. It's why it didn't work. But If I keep pining away for something I'm never going to have, someone I'm probably never going to see again, I just.. I don't know Arnold. I don't know. I love you, but I can't live like this. So maybe, maybe this is goodbye. Maybe it's time Helga Gerladina Patakie finally let you go. Maybe it's time, I gave up on this impossible dream.
Two wet splotches welled up on the page as she looked down upon it. It was only this which made Helga realize she was crying. She looked down at the paper she had written and threw it aside from her desk, casting the pen away as well. She got up from her chair, sniffling slightly as she did, wiping her eyes and folding her arms as she began to trounce back and forth across the floor.
"Stupid, this is Stupid Helga. You're crying over some boy you never got over. Some stupid football headed boy who probably doesn't even remember you." She thought, throwing herself down on to her bed before laying back with a large sigh.
The last few years seemed like a blur to Helga. Her mind whirled, going back to where everything had seemed to go wrong. No, that wasn't true, not everything had gone wrong, in fact things had gone right for several other people.. It just seemed those things didn't go right for Helga G. Pataki.
Miriam was in 12 steps, and was actually recovering. She'd begun to take classes again at Hillwood University. Her relationship with Bob had gotten better, the two had rekindled their romance with one another, and it all started back when Bob had his change of heart. These days the former Beeper king had switched over to Cell Phones, and was down to working 5 days a week. Bob could still be a lot to handle, and he wasn't perfect, but he'd become a better Father, and a better Husband to Miriam. He still had the Yurt in the backyard, and Miriam and him would often go back to it together to "Meditate". Helga had a better idea of what was actually going on in that Yurt, and on one hand she couldn't help but feel happy for her parents, but at the same time she thanked what ever powers that be, the two of them kept it out of the House when her and Olga were home.
It had all seemed so good by the end of 4th grade, after the field trip to San Lorenzo, after saving Arnold's parents. Helga had played a pivotal role even, if it hadn't been for her, Arnold would have never been reunited with his parents. It had gotten very intense toward the end, Arnold and her were alone, and just when it had seemed like Arnold was about to say he felt the same way, just when Helga was about to have all of her dreams come true, Phoebe and Gerald stumbled on to them, and before they knew it, things had returned to normal.
Still, 5th Grade, Helga had thought, that would be the time she told him, that would be the time she revealed her feelings to Arnold again, and no take backsies like the Fti incident, and found out how he felt in turn. Then Bob had to go and ruin that for her too.
Helga held somewhat of a grudge against her father for what happened during 5th grade. In her more enlightened moments she knew it was stupid to blame him, in reality she knew she had no one to blame but herself.. but the truth was, in 5th Grade Bob had seen the writing on the wall, Cellular Phones were the wave of the future, and he wanted to get in early, this meant taking a cross country trip to explore the markets. Bob didn't want to leave behind Miriam and Helga though, not after he'd dedicated himself to trying and being a better part of their life. This meant 5th grade passed with Helga being out of Hillwood. The experience had been fun, she enjoyed going to all of those different cities, getting to connect with her Mother and Father, but in her heart she couldn't wait to get back to Hillwood, to run up to that boarding house, to throw open Arnold's door, and demand they talk about their feelings.
Only it got worse when she came home. The day she returned to Hillwood she heard the news which shattered her heart into a million pieces. Arnold and his family were moving down to San Lorenzo. Arnold's father, Miles had been offered the chance to study the Green eyes first hand, after saving their tribe, they had offered him and Stella a lifetime opportunity. Of course Arnold was going to go too, there was no way he'd be parted from his parents so soon again.
So Helga had missed her chance once more. She had even seen him that day, helped him pack up everything. The entire time she wanted to tell him, yell at him, scream at him, beg him to stay, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. With Phoebe and Gerald, and Eugene and Lila and heck even Rhonda of all people being there to help him pack, she just couldn't bring herself to speak to him about such sensitive things. So he left, he left her behind, and thus went the three most miserable years of her life.
For awhile it seemed she was just going through the motions of life. She was devastated emotionally, as if a part of her had been ripped away. Phoebe, Big Patti, even Lila had been there for her. Those who knew of her great "Secret". Those who knew just how much she had loved "ice-cream", and how much she missed him. They did their best for her, and it was only thanks to their support she even managed to get up and get going to school everyday. Her grades suffered, she almost failed the 6th grade, but managed to pull herself up out of it toward the end. She knew she'd composed some of her best poetry during this time, but it was all dark and depressing, it's presence on the page giving a glimpse of the pain she felt inside.
She'd begun to write him letters then. Every day, chronicling what she felt, what she had been up to. She even discussed her feelings for him in a few of them, (at great length of course). Yet every day she'd put the letter into the mailbox, only to take it out before the mailman arrived. What purpose would it serve mailing him? With Arnold all the way in San Lorenzo, telling him how she felt, what good would it do either of them? No, better to let Arnold be blissfully unaware, better to let her sweet angelic little football head enjoy his new family. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to stop writing, and now an entire filing cabinet was full of unsent letters to Arnold.
Moving into middle school had been the biggest change for Helga. Phoebe and Gerald had begun to date more seriously, and now she only saw her best friend a couple of days during the week outside of school. Oh every once in awhile they had a "girl's night" during the weekend, and caught up, but it was clear Phoebe had found a new best friend in Gerald. Helga couldn't be angry at Phoebe though. In fact she was happy for her best friend, quite simply Gerald could do things for Phoebe Helga simply couldn't.
Helga processed all of this as she continued laying back on her bed. A soft smile came to her face, bittersweet as she thought of the strangest development that had happened. Probably the single strangest thing had been when she dated Sid in 7th grade. How that had happened was complicated in of itself, but the truth was Sid and her were simply both lonely at the time, and upset over not being able to be with the people they had wanted. They'd fallen together, and because of it had tried a go with one another. It didn't work of course, Helga just simply wanted Arnold, and Sid.. well he was still hung up on his girl. Helga thought he was far to good for her, but he wouldn't hear it. In the end they both realized they were faking it and had called it off. Still, Sid, one of the school's trouble makers, was a good friend now. In the end it had all just been away for Helga to try and distract herself, to try and forget about the constant reminder that the light within her life had gone.
Now here she was, wiping some more tears from her eyes sitting up on her bed. She had to say goodbye. She had to let Arnold go. It had been nothing more then a foolish young girl's fantasy. The idea of true love, the idea of being with the boy she had wanted since preschool. She wondered if she'd built it all up in her mind, wondered if she was holding on to a false dream.
Another sigh left her lips as she walked over to her mirror and gazed at the Girl who stared back at her. The ballcap on her head did little to conceal her bright blond hair, still worn in pigtails. She'd gotten taller, and thinner, yet had filled out in the areas a young lady typically did. She was a tall girl, just like her Mother, just like her sister, and again the one area she seemed to have over her mother and sister were those more feminine curves. The pink shirt went down below the waist of her blue jeans, and her combat boots let everyone know she was all business. To hear the rumors correctly, some of the boys at school even thought she was "hot" in the right circumstances, and of course Rhonda had mentioned if only Helga applied some make up and changed up her hairstyle and wardrobe, she'd be one of the most sought after girls in School.
But that wasn't Helga, she didn't care about any of that. She wasn't going to pluck her eyebrow, she wasn't going to put on make up, she wasn't going to put on some froofy frilly outfits just to look good. She liked the way she looked, she wasn't some cookie cutter barbie doll on display. She was rough around the edges and all heart, she was tough and took no prisoners, and the world simply had to deal with it.
She found herself thinking of Arnold again.
What did he look like now? How had he grown? Would he think she was pretty? The last question brought a blush to her cheeks and another feeling of pain within her as she realized she'd never know.
She reached into her shirt and withdrew her gold heart shaped locket. The familiar weight in her palm, she gazed at the picture inside of it. Arnold from 7th grade. She had managed to steal it from Gerald's house one day when stopping by with Phoebe. He was taller, but still a lanky kid, he was wearing a T-shirt, and khaki shorts. Behind him was some jungle covered vista.
Maybe it was time to give up the locket. It was the heaviest emotional piece of Arnold she still had. She had slept with it every night, whispered to it, wished with all of her heart Arnold would somehow step through it for her. But if she was going to take charge of her life, she needed to be rid of it. She walked over to her open window, and held the locket out. Clutching it tightly in her hand she began to shake ever so slightly. All she had to do was let it go. Let it fall to the ground below, fall into the trash and start on a new page within her life.
Slowly, grudgingly she began to open her fingers, first the pinky, followed by her ring finger, when suddenly her cell phone went off.
Being the daughter of a Cell phone salesman had it's benefits. Helga had her own Cellphone, she had one even before Rhonda did, and always got the latest model.
Helga used her free hand and fished the vibrating phone out of her pocket, looking at the caller I.D. And seeing, naturally, it was Phoebe, which made sense as seldom did anyone else call her.
Flicking open the receiver and pressing it to her ear, her mind still on the task at hand, she managed to get out a quick response. "Talk to me pheebs, what's going on? Geraldo try to get you to play with his trouser snake?"
"HELGA!" came the high pitched embarrassed squeal which followed. Helga smirked to herself, the truth of the matter was her best friend hadn't let Gerald past second base with her, and Gerald apparently didn't have an interest in going further then that. So Helga had lots of fun teasing Phoebe about her and Gerald's intimate or (rather lack thereof) life.
Phoebe sighed heavily before she responded back to her best friend. "No Helga, you know very well Gerald and I.. Oh why am I.. " another sigh came from Phoebe as Helga responded. "Relax pheebs, you know I'm just having some fun. So anyway what's up? We still on for this weekend?"
"Only if you're actually going to let the Hillwood University's English Department actually interview you Helga" came Phoebe's curt response.
Helga sighed. Hillwood University had received a writing sample from Helga somehow. She figured principal Simmons had something to do with that. She had no interest in talking to any college at this point. She was only 14 for crying out loud! Crimeny, why did she need to worry about that sort of stuff yet? But Bob and Miriam, and Olga, and Phoebe had all been pushing her, and pushing her to talk to them. So with a heavy groan from Helga's part, she responded. "Yes Phoebe, I'll go to the interview and then afterward you and me are going to head downtown and see Evil Twin 4 together, and NO Geraldo, just us girls, got it?"
"Of course Helga, but that's not actually what I called about." Phoebe responded returning to her usual cheerful tone.
"Well then let's hear it pheebs, what's the reasons for the ring?" Helga said.
There was a deep pause on Phoebe's end. Helga wondered what was taking Phoebe so long to respond, what was bothering her so much, she began to get worried just as Phoebe finally spoke, and rocked Helga to her very core. "Helga... He's back. Ice-cream, is home."
The next thing Phoebe knew, she heard a clattering sound, and couldn't hear Helga anymore.
Helga had numbly dropped the Phone on the floor. She hadn't even realized it, as her other hand suddenly grew a death grip around the Locket, yanking it back to her chest.
Her heart pounded as she looked down at the locket, staring into the face of her secret beloved. A mixture of emotions went through her, she felt both elation and despair all at once. He was back, it was another chance, another opportunity maybe, "but no" she quickly corrected herself, doubting her original thoughts "he would never, no". He wasn't interested in her, he never was. She was sure of it, at least she thought she was sure of it.
Helga paced back and forth in her room, her arms coming up, wrapping around her body as she shook slightly, biting her lower lip, her mind racing a million miles a second. He was back, she simply didn't know how to deal with this. How much had he changed, how much had he stayed the same? All these questions and more flitted through Helga's mind as she didn't know what to do next.
It was the sound from the cell phone laying open on the ground which finally snapped her senses back to reality. "Helga? Helga?" Phoebe's voice asked from the floor of Helga's room.
Stowing the locket back in her shirt, Helga walked over and picked the Cell phone back up, trembling as she spoke back into the phone. "Y-y-yeah Phoebe.. I'm here.. Your sure about this now? No joke? This isn't some sick joke is it? Because if it is, I swear"
"-Helga it's no Joke!" Phoebe cut her off and continued. "I heard it from Gerald, he's been so excited with his best friend back in town. Arnold is back, and for good from what I hear. Helga, are you going to be okay?" Phoebe's voice had taken on a tone of concern, worrying about her best friend and how she was handling this situation.
Helga merely swallowed, nodding, though she knew the gesture couldn't be seen by her friend, before she responded. "Y-yeah Pheebs.. I'll be okay. It's just, a lot to take in. I'm going to need some time to think about all this."
"Are you sure? I'm going to be heading over to his house to meet Gerald and help Arnold unpack. Why don't you come? I'm sure he'd be happy to see you too Helga. After all, you did help reunite him with his parents." Phoebe said, still with the concern in her voice.
All Helga could do was shake her head. "No Pheebs, I.. I'm just not ready for that, I mean, I just, I can't handle that right now. Heck, maybe I don't even like Arnold like that anymore." It was a lie. But she said it anyway.
"Well okay Helga, but you know where we'll be if you change your mind." Phoebe finished.
"Thanks pheebs, I'll talk to you later." Helga responded and then hung up the phone.
Arnold was back. Helga placed the phone back into her pocket and stared out the window. She felt as if her world had been thrown upside down. Arnold was back. Maybe she needed to not like him the way she did anymore. Maybe she needed to be free of Arnold. Was she doing the right thing originally? Or was this a sign of something else? She just didn't know.
The confused teenage girl went to her bed and laid down on it, clutching her pillow tightly in her arms. She was so confused. She was so Happy, and yet so sad. Closing her eyes, she fought back the tears and gripped her pillow more tightly. She was Helga G. Pataki Damn it! No one was suppose to get to her like this! Yet she knew in her heart of hearts, she couldn't completely fight what she felt. The rest of 9th grade was going to be different, this much she knew for sure.