A/N: Hi… I'm just An Idiot in Disguise…. and… Well, I've had this idea for a while, and I guess that I really wanted to contribute something to this fandom, and the other ideas I had for other fics just seemed flat out too long to do in the time span that I currently have, and blah blah blah.

So… yeah. Alright then.

"In that garden created by Karoku-sama, those without the same cells as Karoku-sama cannot survive past 10 minutes. Yet those two children [Nai and Gareki] got out alive."

~ Uro, Karneval Manga; Chapter 42, Page 25

"The one riding on the circus ship is my younger brother… This is a secret, Eleska."

~ Karoku Clone (?), Karneval Manga; Chapter 57, Page 17-18

Karoku doesn't exactly remember his childhood in the fondest of ways. Rather, he dealt with the straight facts of it, and tried not to dwell on certain aspects of it for too long.

He remembers living in a large house, and he remembers being taught math and how to read and write by his parents in the big study on the second floor, with its big window over-looking the entryway of the house.

He remembers that all of his toys were to be kept in the nursery so that his mother and father wouldn't get angry if they came across one of his plush toys lying on the ground.

He remembers that he was not allowed to go outside.

His father had told him once that before he was born, his mother and father had worked for very important people and these people were not very good people at all. So the two of them had decided that they would go behind their backs and tell the other people things that they had learned, and for a while, everyone was happy. But then the important people found out that they were doing something wrong, and now they had to hide from those important people.

It didn't exactly make sense to Karoku, but at the time, he was sure that his parents wouldn't lie to him. He thought that the inside was okay, because he had things like the television, and his toys to keep him company, not to mention that he could see outside from the windows of his house. Besides, after a long while of looking at the same worn-down buildings day after day, Karoku was completely content with staying indoors with his books.

(The thought to freedom didn't occur to him until he was much older than his five year-old self.)

Once, he didn't see his mother for a very long time.

He doesn't exactly remember how long she was gone, seeing that he was about three years old at the time, but it was long enough that it made a lasting impression in his mind.

Then one day, he was left with a nurse, or maybe caretaker of sorts, and his father went out.

(Karoku doesn't recall the nurse very well. But he remembers that she spilled some sort of drink on the armchair cushion, and flipped it over so that his parents wouldn't see.)

And suddenly, both of his parents were back, and everything went back to normal. (Or so he thought.)

Karoku's parents worked at home. This much was obvious.

They spent most of their time holed up in the basement, up to their eyes in paper work, and ankle deep in suspicious things that looked a lot like food wrappers and something furry that might have been living a few minutes previous to its arrival.

(Needless to say, his parents did not need a child running underfoot, and the basement was added to the list of places where Karoku was not allowed to go.)

But after his parents came back from their absence, he found that they were leaving the house a lot more often than they usually did.

As a toddler, he was surprisingly "okay" with it, since he didn't see them that often outside of lessons and short breaks anyway. It was a little unsettling at first, because his parents just simply weren't people who would leave the house on a whim.

He didn't notice anything wrong until his parents brought home a warm, wriggling… something.

Karoku was four at the time, and he was playing quietly in the living room, just trying to get the square peg to fit nicely in the triangular opening, when his mother came in cradling a bundle of white blankets with a tuft of black hair on the top.

Father left, and his mom smiled at him and presented the bundle for him to see.

"Look," she said, her mouth still curved in a false crescent moon. "This is your baby brother."

For a while afterwards, his mother stayed out of the basement to watch over them while they played. And while Karoku was glad that his mother was finally paying him some attention, he was a little jealous of his one-year-old "sibling."

The lady of the house was only there to make sure that the pair of them played nicely and that Karoku knew how to handle a young child. As a four-year old, Karoku was a little bitter that she was only there because his younger counterpart was present.

His sibling was a quiet child, and that was strange in of itself. Karoku was sure that someone as young as his brother would cry at the littlest things For instance, if he did not get the proper toy immediately, he would sit quietly until Karoku handed it over.

When the toy wasn't received, the younger would leave and find another toy or book.

It got stranger as time went on.

Their mother rejoined their father in the basement to resume their experiments and tests, and the pair was left alone.

He didn't make a noise for the entire day, opting to play with building blocks and little puzzle toys.

(It was also one of the days where they didn't eat for hours on end.)

His brother's name is Kaoru.

Karoku himself decided this one day, when the silence was too much to bear. Being by alone was one thing, but having a companion who was also silent made the absence of noise even more noticeable in the first place.

He thought it suited Kaoru, and he was sure Kaoru thought so too.

"I'm going to call you Kaoru. You have to call me nii-san. Got it?"

There was a slight pause, and more silence as Kaoru tried to put some something in his mouth.

"No, Kaoru, you can't eat that…!"

"Kaoru, don't do that."

"Kaoru, go get a toy."

"Kaoru, it's time to eat."

"Kaoru, look!"

"Kaoru, this looks cool."

"Kaoru, you know, my name is Karoku."

"Ne, Kaoru, why don't you talk?" As per usual, Karoku was left with a blank stare. He didn't quite mind though, he was used to talking to Kaoru with no response. The elder typically prattled on and on about some subject or another, and the younger would sit and listen, though Karoku wasn't really sure that he understood Japanese yet.

"… and I wanna grow up and go outside all the time! What do you think?"

"…"

"I've been outside a couple of times, and it's really fun! Everything is green, and the sky is really big too!"

"…K…"

"I've wondered what it was like if you could swim in—what?"

"Ka."

"Ka?" Karoku was confused.

"Kaa. Ka. Ka." The child smacked his palms together.

"Ka… Applause*? Praise?" There was no reaction besides Kaoru smacking his palms together, a lone celebration at the first word that he said.

"Kaoru, stop that."

"Kaoru, give that back."

"Kaoru, hurry up."

"Kaoru, that's mine."

"Kaoru, I said no."

"Kaoru!"

Karoku had known his brother for a month when he had finally snapped. Maybe Karoku was feeling irritated that day, because his father scolded him for getting a math problem wrong, or maybe it was because he had spilled a little bit of water on the floor and his mother had given him a disapproving look.

(Either way, he felt the need to boss someone around.)

(And that unfortunate someone was Kaoru.)

"No, I said that you're not allowed to move! We're playing statue-in-the-garden and you're not allowed to move." He knew he was being stupid, but really could not bring himself to care. "Kaoru!" The person in question ignored him and crawled towards the block tower they made the day before.

"Kaoru, get back—" With a crash, the structure had fallen over.

"Kaoru! Why are you so stupid? I wish you never even came if you were this stupid!"

The adults found them in oposite corners of the room later, their eldest child sulking.

"What?"

"We have to take your brother back."

"But… but why? Is it because I said mean things to him yesterday?"

"No, Karoku. He just has to go back. And remember, he is a secret, Karoku."

"I didn't mean what I said to Kaoru! I didn't! I really didn't!"

(They took him anyway.)

(He never felt so lonely.)

He is eighteen now, and he still remembers the short month when he had a black-haired, quiet, younger brother. Karoku knows that it wasn't his fault that Kaoru left, but he still can't be sure.

And so he keeps that in mind when he smiles at the little Niji beside him as it nuzzles his hand.

"I'll call you Nai."

(An eternity later, he can't really place a finger on why Gareki seems so familiar to him.)

197. loneliness. brother. end.

*The first part of Karoku's name, "ka", means "applause", "praise", or "esteem". (At least, that's what Wikipedia says)

A/N: Hooooly shit that got out of hand. Well.

So, if you didn't get that, Karoku blood-related brothers. I named Gareki "Kaoru" because Gareki was only named Gareki because Tsubaki named him that, since prior to that, he didn't have a name. It would be ridiculous if Karoku came up with the same thing.

Also, it's completely possible for children that young to not cry. During some wars, many children were put in orphanages at a very young age, and it is completely silent. They had learned at a very young age that crying wouldn't help them at all. (If that's not right, you can blame one of my teachers.)

Yup. Well, don't forget to brush your teeth,

~An Idiot.