I won't talk too much, since you probably just want to get to the funny stuff. Let me just explain the simple things...

I'll keep things as In Character as possible, but there will still be plenty of silly moments.

The story takes place after the Soul Society Arc. Rukia is saved, no Arrancar are running about, et cetra...

The main plot is a camping trip which Renji and Byakuya take after being given permission by the Soul Society to take vacations in the human world.

This is not a yaoi story or anything like that. Just want to make that clear...

Some of the chapters will have short conversations between Byakuya and Renji at the beginning or end. These are unrelated to the main storyline, but funny none-the-less.

If you have complaints, or ideas for the story or conversations the two can have, please put them in a review.

Okay, lets get this story started, then...

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, or any of the other products/toys/animes mentioned in this fan fiction.

The news was interesting. Interesting, indeed. Apparently, the Captains and Vice-Captains of the 13 Shinigami Squads had not been recieving the vacation time that they deserved. And it seemed that they also did not recieve the vacation opportunities that were deserving of, as well. There were not many places to go in the Soul Society for a vacation, and few people wanted to spend their days off just sitting in their office since they had no place else to go. So, from the high courts of the Seireitei, a new rule was passed.

Captains and Vice-Captains, with permission, could visit the human world during their vacations, which were now longer and more common.

Several Captains and Vice-Captains were very excited to hear this. But none more-so than Renji Abarai. For you see, Renji had always dreamed of doing something that most humans enjoyed doing. However, there were few, if any, places to do it in the Soul Society. For you see, the one thing Renji wished to do the most on his vacation was...

"Go camping?" Byakuya Kuchiki stared down at his Vice-Captain, his right eyebrow arched slightly at the concept.

"Yes, sir," Renji Abarai replied with a grin. "I have always heard about it, and it is supposedly very fun. In the human world, you can do things like fish, cook on an open fire, and sleep in tents."

"Why?" was all Byakuya could say to such a barbaric idea.

"Because, sir, its fun!" Renji exclaimed happily. Normally, he wouldn't dare take such a tone with his Captain. But he was in a happy mood, and he thought that the prospect of camping would appeal to even Byakuya Kuchiki. "You can relax, and not worry about the troubles of civilized life. There's no one there to bother you, and you get to enjoy much simpler living."

"And you're telling me about this... because?" Byakuya arched his eyebrow slightly higher.

"Because, I thought you may be interested in the idea..." Renji shrugged. "I thought you'd enjoy the fresh air, and the chance to relax..."

"You thought that I would enjoy sleeping in a tent in the middle of the woods with you?" Byakuya slowly replied.

"How do you plan on spending you vacation, then, sir?" Renji responded, unable to come up with anything better.

"In my manor, where I have a bed, a shower, and real food," Byakuya explained.

"Hm..." Renji was getting nowhere. He had to think of something. What on Earth would make Byakuya want to go camping? "I'll be camping near the town where Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia live. Perhaps we can see how they are doing?" Renji suggested with a shrug.

Byakuya stared at him, as if mentally punching him in the face for being an idiot. "Again... why?"

"I... just assumed, sir, that maybe you'd like to see your sister, and..." Renji's voice trailed off due to the glare he was recieving from his Captain.

"You are losing this arguement," Byakuya stated stoicly. "Quite badly."

"Um..." Renji quickly thought through all the pros about camping. Fishing, cooking, fresh air, wilderness, uhhh... "There are flowers?"

Byakuya stared at Renji. His expression was cold and unyielding. "Flowers?" Byakuya hissed at last. "You think flowers will make me want to go camping? What sort of thought processes go on inside of your skull, Abarai?"

"Well, sir, your Zanpakto and its attacks are all flower-themed. And don't you study flowers as a hobby?" Renji arched an eyebrow.

"And didn't I tell you not to mention that in public, lest I castrate you with said flower-themed Zanpakto?" Byakuya growled.

"Uh... right..." Renji nodded, his face suddenly losing all traces of color.

"Are you out of reasons yet, Abarai?" Byakuya asked, clearly annoyed.

"Yes, sir..." Renji sighed. "You don't like fishing, fresh air, nature, or anything else involved with camping that I've mentioned. So unless you like pancakes cooked over an open flame, I doubt-"

"Pancakes?" Byakuya suddenly cocked his head to the side, arching an eyebrow. "I like pancakes. What about pancakes?"

"Um, what?" Renji was caught off guard by Byakuya's sudden response.

"You mentioned pancakes..." Byakuya explained. "And I like pancakes..."

"Um... Yes, sir, there will be pancakes..." Renji slowly nodded. "Cooked in a skillet over a campfire... That's kinda one of the main things you do when camping, or so I've heard..."

"Alright, that sounds good..." Byakuya replied. He then turned, and began to walk out the door. "I'll go pack my things. Be ready to leave in three hours..."

Renji stared at Byakuya as he left, not exactly sure of what happened. He quickly gathered his thoughts, and barked "Sir! Yes, sir!" before heading off out a different door. He laughed merrily to himself as he headed back to his own quarters (which scared and permanently scarred a few unseated Squad 6 members he passed by along the way), joyous at the fact that his dreams of camping would soon come true.

Unfortunately, his dreams would also soon become a nightmare...

Thus ends chapter 1. And just so you know, Byakuya has his own personal reasons for going on the trip. And they aren't pancakes... It will all be explained in chapter 2, so don't worry.

Well, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Thanks for reading, and now if you don't mind, please be nice and review! See ya next chapter!

-Agent HUNK